The Principle of a Philosopher by Eternal Fool “Asley”

“To the ends of the Black and White Chain! Beilanea, Beilanea! Ahh, our alma mater-!”

“Shut up, Tarawo.”

“Yes, ma’am! Apologies!”

I am a Garm.

Now I have a name, and that is Tarawo.

In recent times, some have occasionally called me li’l Taggo – a combination of Ta and ‘doggo’ – which I consider highly offensive. Those who do so deserve death.

But by the grace of the fur rubbing that follows, I suppose that sentence could be nullified.

Damn that Claris… the bane of my dignity. I couldn’t believe she had me figured out so well… Turning me over and rubbing my belly, all the while with a beautiful smile…!

Damn that Anri… always appearing during my evening walk routine to pet me…!

Damn that Lala… She just randomly fed me something resembling a plant’s root. Greater burdock, was it now? That was quite delicious, actually!

Damn that Itsuki… ‘just sit here and the guests will pet you,’ she said! Was I not already sitting long before she had told me to?!

“I swear, I get mocked by everyone I come across… I don’t understand humans. I simply don’t understand them at all.”

“Shut up.”

“H-hmm… apologies, Tifa. By the way, where are we headed? The smell of the air is getting worse and worse, don’t you think?”

The smell…

I’ve smelled this before…

If I am not mistaken – yes, that’s it!

“Fwahahaha! I know, Tifa! This is sulfur, isn’t it?!”

“Right. We’re here in Regalia because Bruce said he’s come across a good hot spring here. I’ve been wanting to check out the Royal Capital, too, so that’s also nice.”

“What? You mean to say that we’re not in Beilanea?!”

“Fuyu connected Beilanea to this place with her Teleportation spell… Don’t tell me you weren’t listening?”

“N-no, I wouldn’t dare!”

Her stare feels as if it’ll stab me to death. But that’s all – she won’t necessarily do anything.

Or, rather, she has ceased to escalate things.

Tifa has been quite approachable these days, thanks to her assignment to the position of Public Morals Enforcer of the organization called the Student Council.

Her task is the restraining of, and bringing to Irene, all those who break the rules of the Magic University. A very fitting responsibility for Tifa indeed.

Irene would then be quick to fix those rule-breakers up – one glare from her, and most will be intimidated into mending their ways.

The organization’s structure is quite well-built, I would say.

Still, Tifa is Tifa, however settled down she may have been, she has amassed quite a track record of infamy within that small frame of hers.

All that is what happened after the mage called Asley had left this place.

Damn that Asley… did he not promise to do something about my curse?

I swear, he’s such a pain to deal with. Despite that, though, it cannot be denied how extraordinary the amount of arcane energy he possesses is. It’s almost visible to the naked eye – so powerful that I have it on my conscience to not disobey him. Simply being near him makes my hair stand on end.

Does no one else sense the extent of the arcane energy inside him?

From the looks of it, I am likely the only one aware of that fact. If he felt so inclined to, he could destroy the whole town simply by releasing a burst of his energy. He’s a serious threat.

No one else has realized that. When they do, I wonder how many of them would be willing to stay by his side…

Still, I HAVE walked away alive from far bigger threats in the past. This Asley is no opponent of mine.

…Oh? I seem to have difficulties recalling his appearance…

Well, no matter. I am a Garm, hailed as King Wolf. I don’t concern myself with the little details.

Which reminds me, that Asley… When he left, I think he told me to consult with Itsuki when I think I’m in trouble?

That’s ridiculous. The Itsuki girl is a normal human, neither a warrior nor a mage; what good does she have to offer me?

What nonsense. I have no time for her.

“Here we are.”

“Oh-ho, this is quite a nicely constructed gate.”

It’s huge and wooden – and has a signboard hanging from the upper center of it.

‘Joshuu Hot Spring,’ the sign indicates.

I walk inside to see that Bruce and some of the other Pochisley Agency people are already here.

Lina, Haruhana, Lala, Itsuki, and Tzar. Hmm… Bruce is sporting quite an unusual attire.

A piece of cloth over his center, with strings wrapped around his waist… It somewhat resembles the bottom portion of Haruhana’s clothes. Could this be the male version of that?

The floor of this room… it’s a strange weaved sheet of some sort of plant. But it does feel good to walk on.

Humans sure love to spend a lot of time and effort to make nice things. That is despite how much grueling work it must be… I don’t understand them.

“Oh, there you are, li’l Taggo! Come here, over here~~”

Lina tapped on her own thighs and made some sort of… beckoning noise.

Heh heh heh heh… but of course.

Since she insisted so, it would be rude not to go.

“Fwahahaha!”

“Tarawo, sit.”

“Yes, ma’am!”

Ngh… that has become a conditional reflex at this point.

There must be some sort of evil influence in Tifa’s voice.

“I already went in first. The water was super good, so you girls don’t sit around here for too long!”

“I’ll take you up on that offer, then. Here I go.”

“The bath’s looking real nice!”

Haruhana and Lala stood up.

Over these past two months, Haruhana has become a fair bit more agile, and Lala has gained a great deal of arcane energy.

Tifa has gone through the same extent of development as well, of course, but it seems that these girls have quite a wide variety of strong points to them.

I used to hear that the so-called city girls were all about dressing up, making their faces pretty, and spending time on their hobbies, but that description doesn’t apply to them.

I don’t know what is truly good for them, but… whatever makes them happy, I suppose?

Oh, no, this is not the time to ponder over such things.

It has been a while since I’ve last gotten to bathe. I’ll have to hurry after Tifa-

“You’re keeping watch outside.”

“W-why?! WHY?!”

“Well, you’re a male, for one. Blazer and Mana will be here soon, so you can just go in when they’re here. The snake over there, too.”

“”We are not a snake, but a Kagachi. Insult Us again, and We will swallow you whole, Bruce.””

“Heh, just try it, two-head bastard.”

These two don’t get along well at all – same as ever.

“Bruce, I’ve always wondered… why is there a need to separate human males and females? Is it simply due to the feeling of shame?”

“Ooh, looks like you’ve somewhat learned of our ways, Tarawo. Well, yeah, that’s mostly the reason.”

“…I don’t understand.”

Bruce laughs, effectively refusing to provide any further answer.

There’s a faint smell of liquor in the air. Seriously, this Bruce… the sun hasn’t even gone down, yet he’s drinking already?

Though ale is quite a delicious drink… I suppose. Yes, I can understand that, but still can’t help but wonder why there isn’t any set aside for me.

Well, no matter. I can just ask Tifa to buy some later, however scary that might be.

I’ve recently learned of this trick called the ‘puppy eyes’ – that will surely persuade her.

Oh, there comes Blazer and Mana – arrived before the girls are done with their bath, too.

Are Ryan and Reid working overtime again? I suppose I should ask them later.

“Running late, eh?”

“Sorry, but this guy won’t shut up about coming along with us.”

There’s someone else behind Blazer.

Hmm, I might’ve seen that boy before.

If I remember correctly, it was during one monster hunt. His name must be… Egd.

He’s starting to breathe heavily when he gets close to Lina. Could he be sick?

“C’mon, why don’t you give it up already, man? You know that Lina’s had her eyes on Asley, right?”

“That is surely not the case! Miss Lina frequently glances at me when I’m around!”

“Well, of course she would.”

“Yeah, and not for a good reason, man.”

“”Anyone would be conscious of your heavy breathing, young man.””

“Oh, not you too, Sir Tzar! My heart always calls out to Miss Lina – I can’t possibly stop that, can I? Haha!”

Blazer, Bruce, and Tzar heave a sigh in unison.

“Well, anyway… you all should go take a dip. The water’s great.”

“”Of course. We have intended to do that from the beginning.””

“Thanks for your help as always, Bruce.”

“What? What’re you thanking me for, man? Hahaha!”

The five of us exit the room and walk down the corridor; Egd approaches Blazer and asks him something.

“But really, why did you thank Sir Bruce for bathing first, Sir Blazer?”

“Kid… it really shows why you’re still stuck at Rank B, you know.”

Mana, on the other hand, seems to have recently been promoted to Rank C.

“”Do you not understand? The bath cannot fit everyone all at once, meaning we have to take turns in smaller groups. Bruce himself was the one who invited everyone here, and he’s sitting it out so that the rest of us can enjoy ourselves.””

For a pair that seemed to be out for each other’s necks, the serpent sure speaks of that man in high regard.

“Bruce has always been like that since way back in the day, you know.”

“”In that he’s always been obnoxious, perhaps.””

Mana went the other path right before we reached the bath; the rest of us went through the door with the ‘MEN’ label.

Blazer’s naked body is… quite an intimidating sight.

Where did he get all those scars? Cuts, stabs, wounds – they’re everywhere.

He must have been through numerous adventures in the past.

“Wow… No matter how many times I’ve seen this scar, it never ceases to amaze, sir!”

“It’s not that impressive.”

He’s quite an impressive man, I must say.

“”Ngh… the water is nice indeed.””

“Ah, Sir Tzar, did you wash your body already?”

“”We have; it was not at all difficult.””

Although Tzar has heads of both ends, he still is a serpent, after all. The most he had to do was slide his body against a towel.

“Tarawo.”

“What is it, Blazer?”

“I’ll wash your back.”

“Oh? Heh heh heh… how considerate of you.”

Heheheheh… Blazer is quite an impressive man, indeed.

I’m feeling itchy at the base of my tail, so I suppose I’ll ask him to scratch that for me, too.

“”What do you think you are doing, Egd?””

Egd… he’s gone all the way to the far end of the pool. What is he planning?

Now he has his ears against the partitioning bamboo wall…

“M-Miss Lina is… right over there! In!! Out!!”

What kind of perfectionist must he be to vocalize even his breath? Does he not listen to his own voice and realize how disrupting that is?

“”Lala is there, too. One more vulgar act and We will burn you to ashes, young man.””

“In!! Out!! In!! Out!!”

“”Young man…””

I can sense the serpent’s boiling rage.

Blazer, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to mind that.

“No need for worry, Sir Tzar. Betty is right there with her.”

“Heheheheh… Miss Lina~~”

Ngh… is this bloodlust? From Betty on the other side?

Suddenly, a powerful blow comes from the other side of the bamboo.

Egd, who had his ear against the wall, is blown away and into the hot water pool.

“”Impressive aim.””

“Leave that for later, please.”

“”No, the sooner We express Our thanks, the better.””

“Okay…”

Egd is now floating in the water, unconscious – this is quite an amusing sight.

“Hey, Egd, did you even wash your body yet?”

He doesn’t answer, of course; the rest of us enjoy ourselves, then return to the room, leaving Egd behind.

Now THAT is what I call a nice hot water bath.

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