The Principle of a Philosopher by Eternal Fool “Asley”

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHH?!”

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PLACE?!”

Pochi and I were running around, escaping at full speed for our lives.

“Orah! Bug off!!”

“GYOHHHHH!”

Once the fight started, Lylia’s beautiful face instantly turned into that of a barbaric warrior. Now the image of the dignified Holy Warrior is totally ruined!

She tore off the wings of the Inferno Bug, an S-ranked blazing purple giant moth monster, laughing gleefully the whole time.

Damn it, how the hell does she have so much power with those slender arms?!

“Ha-hah! What a swing, Lylia! See if I can do you one better! Earth Splitter!”

We were being targeted by this Rank SS monster called MOTHER. Absolutely a dangerous thing, this one, with its fluctuating red liquid-like body dissolving things on touch, and while its movement was slow, its endurance was off the charts, being able to absorb a great deal of both physical and magical attacks.

But then… this young blonde gentleman, Giorno, just totaled it with the most powerful Earth Splitter I’ve ever seen – in fact, that didn’t even look like the Earth Splitter I knew at all.

The version of Earth Splitter I knew essentially involved sending a blast running through the ground, cracking the surface and dealing damage to enemies as it went along. An S-ranked adventurer could achieve as much as twenty meters, making it a generally reliable ranged attack for warriors.

However, that simple description didn’t apply at all to the one that had been unleashed behind Pochi and me.

The earth rose in a waving formation as if it was dancing, broke apart, and dragged the MOTHER underground. And the light… it must be at least a hundred meters.

Same thing I’d said about him when he’d fought the Kiryu – There’s absurd, then there’s this guy!

Even a MOTHER is a minor bump on the road for him.

Pochi and I looked on as the MOTHER faded from sight, as if it was being eaten up by the earth itself.

“Are those two… even human?”

Pochi ran after the two who were fighting off in the distance.

“Hyah-hah! Guts! Blood! Destruction!”

I’ll remember to stay away from Lylia as much as I can while she’s in combat.

“One, two, three! And… four! Heads up, Lylia! Another mook your way!”

“…Isn’t the thing he called a ‘mook’ supposed to be the A-ranked Alpha Chimera?”

“That sounded strange coming from you, you know, being a beast and all.”

I finally got something to reply to Pochi with.

“I can’t even see the bottom of the pit…”

“Now this, doggo… this is how valleys and mountains are made.”

“Hell if it is, sir! Seriously! I don’t know what’s going on anymore!”

“We’re in the past! THE PAST! BOOM, TIME TRAVEL!”

“I already know that!”

“Yeah, seconds ago!”

“N-n-n-n-no way! I could tell right when we were… teleported! Yes!”

“Ugh… if you did, you probably wouldn’t have used ‘Poer’ as my fake name… Damn it.”

Pochi tilted her head in confusion to my grumbles of complaint. I’d kept my voice down, especially at the ‘fake name’ part, but yeah, it looked like she was still clueless as ever.

“Just think about it. Those two, Giorno and Lylia, are probably the Holy Warriors. In the fairy tales we all know so well, they have another member… you do know that, right?”

“Hmm…? If I remember correctly, the end of the story went… ‘So ended the journey of Giorno the Hero, Lylia the Warrior, and Poer the Mage. Though no one knew where they went, all hailed them as the Holy Warriors, right?”

“Who’s the mage?”

“Poer.”

“And what did you just call me?”

“Master!”

I know, I know.

“Listen, ‘Shiro,’ I’m asking what fake name you called me with!”

“…Poer.”

“Right, of course it is…”

Now then, I better plug my ears, just in case.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHH?! NO WAY?! MASTER, YOU’RE THE ONE-?!”

“No way. I’m gonna tell Giorno real quick that it’s a fake name, so-“

“What are you saying, sir?! Isn’t this your chance to see all those absurd powers up close?! Besides, the time we’re in now should be around a decade before you were born! The ancient magecraft of Limit Breakthrough must still be around!”

“Well, you’ve got a point there…”

Yeah, that was actually a reasonable statement, for once…

“Ahahahahaha! Curse the powerlessness of your own self! Nay, be glad that death has come to you before the end of the word does! HAHAHAHAHA!”

“Hmm, with how much of them there are, it will be difficult for us to limit collateral damage… Bah, what a drag. Seriously.”

“….”

“I swear, we don’t have enough lives to stick close to them. Remember how much of a hard time we had with an Alpha Chimera? She’s tearing it apart with her bare hands.”

“B-but you did kill one with your Dynamites!”

“Just think about it! The fundamental structure of their bodies must be totally different! Tūs is strong, sure, but just look at them – they’re absurd! That’s definitely because they were born with Holy Warriors’ powers!”

“You can’t be so sure, sir. I mean, we haven’t even seen Tūs’ full power yet.”

“Anyway, we’ve got to get to a town. We’ll break away from them there. Until then, we’ll have to work together to-“

“Ah – Poer, fend for yourself! Adamanturtle heading your way!”

“Gah, what in the blazes?! Why do they never stop coming?! Rise, A-rise, All Up: Count 2 & Remote Control! Shiro, do the usual!”

“AWOOOOO!”

This Adamanturtle was an S-ranked monster, another one that was already extinct by the time I went out of my cave. Two thousand years before I did so, at least from what I’d heard.

Yeah, as much as I’d like to deny it… We definitely time travelled.

“Rise, Dispel!”

If I remembered right, the Adamanturtle’s got a passive shield that granted it increased resistance to physical attacks.

Dispelling that effect was logically the first thing to do.

“…Huh. Look at that, Lylia! Poer’s pretty good at this, isn’t he? His moves are sloppy, but still!”

“Hmph! Good! If he can hold their own against a mook, then he won’t hinder our progress!”

Hello? Weren’t you the one who’d asked us if we’d like to follow you?

She’ll probably pipe down after the fight is over, so there’s that.

Anyway, how did the Space-Time Transmission trap spell formula get triggered, anyway? Thinking back now, it was in fact quite similar to the Space-Time Transmission spell I’d tried to invent a long time ago, too.

But then, how did it get supplied with all the arcane energy? From my calculations, it would need to be fed three to five times of my whole arcane energy stock in an instant…

Did God do that? No, I don’t think He’s been getting enough faith to be that powerful… wait, could it be…?

We HAVE been praying to Him. All of us at the Pochisley Agency. Before every meal, without fail.

All that might have accumulated to provide Him with enough power over the years. That would be a plausible explanation for us two getting thrown over to this era.

“Shiro, we gotta hit the plastron! Lift that thing up!”

“YESSSS… SIR!”

I see it!

Pochi gigantified and rammed it, exposing its plastron and allowing me to lock on. Now!

“Pochi Pad Bomb!”

“What on earth is that?!”

That was a toned-down version of the Pochi Pad Breath, which I hadn’t even introduced to Pochi yet. It was an original spell of mine that involved creating a paw-shaped blast of water, shooting it, and then triggering it to explode on contact.

It may not be as powerful as the Pochi pad Breath, but that was what made it usable in a wider range of situations.

The Adamanturtle, taking the blast on its plastron, was sent slamming onto a rock wall, its back shell being shattered as a result.

“Air Claw!”

Pochi dealt the finishing blow. The Adamanturtle, after a muffled groan in the distance, fell silent.

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆

Once the melee neared its end, with the two absurd heroes dealing with the last of the monsters, Pochi started to scold me for some reason.

“What was up with that spell, sir?!”

“It’s something I came up with pretty recently.”

“Anyone can see that! I mean the name! Can’t you make it sound cuter?!”

THAT’s what you’re taking issue with?

“…Such as?”

“Let’s see… how about Pochi Pretty Beautifully Excellency?!”

“You sure love praising yourself, huh? I’ll have to work up the courage to shout that whole thing during combat to invoke the Swift Magic, you know.”

“Oh, please don’t sweat that part! Just give it some consideration, all right?”

It looks like she’s quite happy to have her name attached to a magic spell, at least.

I mean, she’s wagging her tail about as much as when she sees her favorite foods.

“Yeah, yeah, sure thing… Oh, looks like they’re done.”

Seeing those two cleaning their blades, I tried to wrap up our conversation.

“…Listen, Pochi.”

“What is it, sir?”

“Be careful about saying our names from now on. I’m Poer, you’re Shiro. Got it?”

“You’re the only one who should be worried, Master. I mean, I’ve never called you anything other than

‘Master,’ anyway.”

That’s usually the case, yeah, but is she forgetting how she would call me by name when she talked about serious stuff once in a blue moon?

Whoops – looks like Giorno and Lylia are back.

“This area has been cleared out now, so I say we hurry on ahead. I’d like us to reach Sodom within tomorrow.”

“All right.”

“Yes, sir!”

“Poer.”

“Y-yes! What is it, Lylia?!”

Seems like she’s already back to acting normal, but… I think I might be having difficulties dealing with this woman in general.

“You… are so weak.”

That was, I would say, the biggest issue we were facing within ‘this world’.

If we were left to fend for our own here, we’d probably be dead in a day… no, an hour, even.

Ah, yes, the world of legendary fairy tales…

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