Chapter 94 - TRAUMA
A girl who has lived through trauma, has lived through a situation where her body, her mind, her self wasn't her own. Where she felt disjointed, ripped from her self, safety and sanity. It was a moment, an experience, a something where her trust was smashed, her worth was gone and all there was was pain.
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"Be careful with what you said, Lucifer will not tolerate your behavior next time." Lilith took a sip of her drink while looking at the direction where Belphegor has been looking at, but could see nothing.
"Why in rush?" Belphegor mumbled.
"What have you been looking at?" Lilith ignored his usual complain and voiced out her curiosity.
Out of the blue Belphegor was dragging her to have a drink in this bar and demanded to have a view toward the parking lot without giving her a specific reason and then he went into his auto- lazy- mood as he sprawled on the table.
"Future." Belphegor answered thoughtlessly.
Lilith was laughing heartily when she heard the devil's answer. "What future do you see? Hell freezes over?"
Belphegor shrugged, stood up and stretched out his stiff body. "Well, I can arrange that."
"Let's go!" Lilith sn.a.k.e.d her arm around his, while Belphegor was standing, it was easier to drag him away. "We need to watch the useless female lycan who hasn't shown any progress."
"Since I have ripped apart her lycan's soul, I don't think she is still a lycan." Belphegor didn't agree with that.
"Whatever." Lilith flicked her hair from her shoulder in lady- like manner, she didn't want to argue about this thing with the sloth.
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When Raine, Serefina and Jack arrived at their apartment building, Serefina held Jack, who was about to enter their flat by holding his chest firmly.
"I have something that I need to talk to her. Woman to woman." Serefina spoke in cold tone. "Don't bother us!" And she slammed the door right in front of Jack's face and ignored his repeated knocking sound while she turned around and faced Raine.
"Am I not make myself clear?" Serefina glared at Raine. "I have told you to not meet him!" She waved her hand at the door and in an instant the noisy sound that Jack made, disappeared.
Raine lowered her head and took steps backward, trying to make distance between the two of them.
"Don't you understand with what I said?!" Serefina yelled at her. "You don't have the mate bond in you, do you?"
Serefina gripped Raine's chin and raised her head so she could look her straight in the eyes.
"Let me tell you one thing and let's hope this understanding could clear your narrow mind." Serefina whispered viciously. "Do you know the difference between you and Torak?"
Raine could sense the hostility that emitted from Serefina and she couldn't explain why the witch hated her so much, even since the first time they met in the hospital.
"If I ask you, you have to answer me!!!" Serefina shouted and a few glasses on the table scattered into pieces as they fell on the floor with clattering sound.
Raine could feel the air left her lung while she was trying hard to breath and fighting back her tears.
The lamps in the living room flickered by the invincible power as Serefina kept Raine in her tight grip, waiting for the poor girl to talk.
"He… has everything… and I…" Raine stumbled with her words, it was so hard for her to talk, but she knew Serefina wouldn't stop until she got the answer from her. "…I have nothing…"
That was what Raine felt all this time, since she was together with Torak, her insecurities couldn't be concealed and she couldn't help, but pitied herself.
"Though your answer is not wrong…" Serefina released the grip on her chin and took a step back to scrutinize Raine, from her head to her toes with eyes that filled with derision. "But, that is not what I meant."
When Raine was feeling dreadful after admitted her insecurities, her phone buzzed with notification. A message from Torak popped up on the screen.
'My love, are you home yet?'
Serefina didn't need to see the contain of the message as she could predict what Torak would ask. "What are you crying for? You want him to bust the door and choke me to death?" She asked sarcastically.
Raine hastily wiped the tears that almost fell from her eyes as her trembling fingers typed a reply for Torak.
'Yes'
Raine answered with a simple word, she didn't want to talk much as she afraid Torak would know. It didn't take long time for Torak to decide to call her.
Raine stared at the phone that flashing in her hand, didn't know whether she has to answer it or not.
"Why? You don't want to answer his call?" Serefina glanced at the name that Raine had given to Torak in her phone. "Don't you want to tell him about what I did to you? That I have made you cry? That you are so weak and easily scare with this little confrontation? Tell him and let see how long it will take for him to get here and tear my throat. If something happens to me, that will be your fault."
"I…" Raine stuttered. "I don't…"
How could Raine bear something like that and how Serefina could put her in that position?
Raine, of course, didn't want something bad happened to Serefina, despite her rude behavior, she had seen it with her own eyes, how Torak had lost control and caused death of other creatures, and also how he almost lost it again earlier.
Having someone else death because of her again, wasn't something that Raine wanted. It was a nightmare, she still couldn't get rid the image of the man, whose head had been crushed by Torak, right before her eyes.
How she could bring herself to witness that again? There was no guarantee Torak wouldn't do the same when she picked up the phone and a whimper escaped from her lips.
"There is one thing that you should learn." Serefina, like the villain she is, was trying to make the situation worse for Raine. "No matter how he loves you, he is still a beast, he will get what he want in 'a beast' way. He will not hurt you, but he will kill people around you without batting an eye if he thinks those people endanger you, in the end you will stand atop of a pile of dead bodies that he kills in the name of protecting you."
Raine gulped hard.
"He will not do that..." Her voice barely a whispered as she kept her eyes locked on the flashing phone in her hand.
"He will not?" Serefina raised one of her delicate eyebrows incredulously. "He killed his own people, and that was all because of you! To protect you! Because you are too weak to even protect yourself!!"
Serefina stepped foward and pushed Raine's shoulder harshly.
The phone clattered on the floor and went silence, so did Raine, her legs gave away and she knelt before the witch, who was standing haughtily before her eyes.
"You don't have capability to stand against me, you don't even have guts to try." The mocking tone in Serefina's voice was palpable. "With dozens of creatures out there, wanted your life, don't tell me you are really hoping for Torak to kill them all. Because he will end up got killed or... death in the process of protecting you." Serefina gave a dramatic shrugged as she said that. "Have this matter ever crossed your mind, how many creatures that Torak had offended, only by following you here, forcing himself to his enemy's territory, the place which is not welcomed him, just because you don't have the ability to fend yourself!"
Serefina threw bitter facts right in front of Raine's eyes, forced her to see how her weakness had created so much trouble and endanger Torak's life, the man who cared about her the most, the only person who had showered her with undying love.
"And now, you don't even have the strength to pick up his phone!!??" Serefina gave her derision smirked. "Pathetic. You better kill yourself before someone got kill because of you or kill for you."
The air was very thick as Raine was having hard time to breath, she clutched her chest tightly, it felt like there was a thousand needles were shot right at her at the same time.
Serefina's words were more painful compared to the moment she was still in the mental hospitality when the ward guard kicked her ribcage and as a result, she had to be hospitalized for a week.
However, the most hurting part of Serefina's word was; the fact that what she said was true. Every single fact that came out from her mouth wasn't something that Raine could deny.
Seeing how much damage that she had done on Raine, psychologically, Serefina turned her back and started to walk away.
"You have been through so much, why don't you learn something from it?" Serefina glanced at Raine through her shoulder. "Learn how to stand up for yourself and stop make other people worry about you! You are not a kid anymore! Stop waiting for someone to save you!" The witch's voice was powerful and resolute.
Raine was sitting, on the floor and startled when Serefina kicked the door of her room closed. She was trembling out of fear and shock.
The reality in this world in Serefina's eyes was so hard, the witch saw this world as the stage to survive while Raine was barely could make it.
In the witch's eyes, one will be killed or killed in order to survive.
Raine knew about that, however the way Serefina elaborated it was way too dark, as if spilling blood was a common issue in her eyes.
The girl hugged herself in attempt to stop her body from shaking uncontrollably, she bit her bottom lips so she could stop her teeth from clattering.
At that moment, her phone's screen flashing, notified her there was someone who was trying to call her.
Raine knew who was calling as no one knew this number except Torak. But, the problem was, what she had to do.
If Raine ignored his phone call again, Torak would be suspicious and there was no guarantee he would not come straight away, just like he had promised her and she knew what would come next.
But, if she was about to pick up the phone, would she be able to talk properly with him and assured him that she was alright, though the fact, she was in the middle of mental breakdown? Would she be able to make this right? What she had to say?
In the end, what Serefina said was true, she was nothing but a coward, who always looked for protection.
A weak human…
Biting her bottom lips, Raine was trying hard to hold back her tears and when the phone gave the last ringing tone, she pressed the answer call.
"Hallo…?"
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