Randidly woke up exhausted and practically buzzing from raw emotional force zooming through his limbs. Closing his eyes, he wished he could let everything go for a short amount of time and sink down into oblivion.
But his bed suddenly felt small and cramped. The renovated storeroom still stunk of dust and old Ara Fruits.
“Fuck,” He whispered at the ceiling. He could still see the expression on his mother’s face as she told him she loved him.
Randidly could hear voices from outside the farmhouse, especially Jotem’s joyous prattle. The noises drew him even further from relaxation. There must have been a visitor, for Jotem to release such a constant barrage of words. Randidly could practically feel his skin heating; now wasn’t a great time for him to be social. He stayed in his quiet room, gradually churning his way through the waves of rage that ran rampant through his body. The task at least let him stop thinking for a short amount of time.
Most of the struggle was converting all the freed-up emotional force into usable resonance. More than even the prior two cores combines, rage unleashed waves and waves of heat and intensity that were now at his fingertips, should be able to integrate all this energy.
Honestly, he was unsure if his images would even be able to handle all the force he could now bring to bear. Polishing and solidifying their foundation would be crucial before he volcanically erupted with all the emotion he possessed.
Yet even while he worked, the lingering remnants of the memory kept nagging at the edges of his consciousness. All this newly arrived emotional affect was a sea of kerosine and every time he recalled his mother’s face, tiny lit matches were flicked out across the choppy waters and began spreading rippling infernos out to burn across the horizon.
She was just so self-righteous about it. Randidly pressed his eyes closed. Loving me, in her mind, was the only thing required of her. So everything else-
He forced his thoughts away; these insights were only making the fury more all-consuming. Instead, he threw his body directly into the sea of emotional force and began converting it to usable emotional energy. This time, the redirected focus stuck. The toil helped distract him from the source. He felt the rage flickering against his back, inflicting some emotional pain on him.
He ignored everything else. His Discretion of the Apostate Moirae whirred, gradually activating to its full, over five thousand potential. The waters were rid of flame and then smoothed to become part of the emotional reservoir he developed in his body. At this point, the amount he possessed was becoming ridiculous. Only due to his extremely high Stats was he able to process all the excess negativity given to him by the Alpha Cosmos. Otherwise, he might very well be ruled by the emotional cores, even though he had subdued them.“Three down, one to go,” Randidly whispered to himself as he finished the task. His body was slick with sweat; he felt vaguely dirty and unclean. It took an effort of will not to let his mind shift back to the memory.
Instead, he stood and walked to the door. Strange, though. My chest feels so light, more than I’ve felt in a long time. Bearing all this extra emotional force has been a burden I haven’t really acknowledged. But based on the current feeling… the last negative emotional core doesn’t possess very much emotional force at all. What could it be…?
His musings were interrupted by a soft knock at the door. Demetrius’s voice spoke through the wood. “You better come quickly. Gretite has arrived. Jotem has attempted to entertain her, but she looks about ready to kill him. Bogart would willingly be an accomplice, too.”
Randidly swayed. His pulse pounded in his ears. On the one hand, he didn’t think he was quite ready to interact with people. His heart still ached and a strange tremor lingered in his body; his heart might be light, but that’s because all of the dangerous emotions had been moved elsewhere. They had been purified once, but he still suspected he hadn’t totally weathered this storm.
On the other, he intuitively understood that the bristling and moody preying mantis woman also wouldn’t be much interested in emotional communion. She came to inspect and comment on the state of the farm. Considering the immediate improvements to the carrots and the new species of vegetables with which Randidly was still tinkering, he could use her expertise.
Her brusque manner would even be a refreshing distraction.
Nodding to himself, Randidly slipped into the hallway and then went out the back door of the farmhouse. He could hear Jotem’s panicked voice out front with sharp interjections from Gretite, but he didn’t go there quite yet. The half Origin Beast could use to learn a bit of fear. First, he walked out behind to the Ara Fruit area and reached up and adjusted the climate modifications. A cloud rapidly formed overhead and dumped rain all over him. A prodigious amount of precipitation manifested when it was given free rein, a testament to the wildness of the surrounding environment.
With water streaming down his face, Randidly simply stood and allowed himself to be cleansed. He laid down his rage within the cool water. He put away thoughts about his mother. Although he now knew he would need to search for traces of her, something he had been putting off for a long time.
The tremors in his hand were still intermittent, but it was the best he could do for now.
Randidly turned away and walked to the front of the farmhouse. Jotem gratefully zoomed to his side. “Ah, Nether King, what excellent timing! Please take your honored guest-”
“I will literally cut you in half if you say a single more word, you cloud fart,” Gretite grunted. She was crouching on the ground next to the potato plantings lowering her head and appearing to sniff the soil. Behind her, her two grandchildren looked at Randidly with silent apologies in their eyes.
Randidly clicked his tongue but felt oddly cheered by her bristling attitude. “Alright, I’ll run you through the plants. In the meantime, Demetrius, will you slaughter one of the older walruses? Let’s have a little barbecue for our guests. Don’t be stingy with the meat and cider.”
After producing both barbecue sauce and a dry rub to apply to the meat before cooking, Randidly left with Gretite and toured around the farm. She had quite a few opinions on every aspect of the farm, both on things Randidly had control over and things he didn’t: particularly the quality of the soil in the area, the moisture, and the relative geography for her favorite harping points. Apparently, it was an act of a merciful god that Randidly managed to grow as much produce as he did, based upon his mistakes.
Only when they reached the Ara Fruit area did she begrudgingly call his preparations adequate.
“By the way, why the hell do you work for that classless whoopie cushion?” Gretite asked once they had done the round and she had given her advice. She took a long sip on her third bottle of cider.
Randidly tried to smile, but the expression felt extremely forced. He reached up and rubbed his cheeks. His muscles ached, even when he didn’t use them; he remained too tense. “I don’t work for him. He owned a farmhouse, that has since been demolished and rebuilt into what you currently see. Honestly, not much that was his still remains here. But… But I have business coming up in Malloon. This is the perfect distance from the city to prepare.”
“Dangerous business, from the sound of it,” Gretite grumbled after another sip. She gave him an appraising glance, looking him up and down. “A lot of ugly types are gathering around Malloon. They smell money and chaos. Are willing to do anything to cut off their own piece. Don’t get yourself killed for no reason.”
Randidly’s grin in response was genuine. A burning, challenging grin came easily to the current him. “For a second I thought your concern was genuine, but then I remembered the contract we signed for supplying Zhixu fruit to us. The Land Walruses refuse to eat anything else now.”
Gretite nodded. “You are an excellent revenue source. Losing you would be a shame.”
The two began making their way back toward the farmhouse, moving through the Ara Fruit area. Due to the way Randidly and Demetrius’s working dispersed the weather to lighten the storms, air currents snaked their way in every direction out from the farm. Which meant that everything smelled like delicious, roasted meat at the moment.
However, Randidly frowned; a new group had arrived at the farm while they had been inspecting the plants. Probably drawn by the smell of food and the halo of light precipitation that surrounded their setup.
Demetrius stood at the back of the farmhouse with his hands folded behind his back. He had another cider bottle, which he offered to Gretite. “My liege, Madam, a Hobfootie team has arrived, seeking shelter from the stronger storms further along the ridge. They appear to be staying for our barbecue and are willing to pay quite a lot to do so. Your grandson's discussed backing a few Zhixu cakes and selling them at double their usual price…?”
“Pah, what a hassle.” Her words were dishonest; Gretite’s clicking mandibles revealed her excitement at ‘double’ the usual price. Her eyes gleamed as she strode forward. “Well, I suppose there is no sense in serving as an honorary host. But don’t blame me if your primitive stove makes the process slow.”
“What is it?” Randidly asked when Gretite had gone. He might be distracted by his own issues, but Demetrius wouldn’t have been waiting here for no reason.
Demetrius’s smile fell away. “The team that arrived is one we know. The red team from the match we viewed.”
Devick. A vision flashed in his mind of her, crimson hair flying around her as she caught the scoring ball in the midst of three opposing defenders. Then, superimposed upon that image, was the current Devick, her face warped in hate and madness, rusty chains clinking around her body. Randidly felt a headache brewing, but ultimately just shrugged. “Thanks for the heads up. I’ll be inspecting some of the surrounding areas until they leave.”
Demetrius bowed slightly. “I’ll stay out of sight. I don’t wish for her to suspect you are here.”
Somehow, I doubt her showing up was just a coincidence, Randidly thought as he moved back into the rugged land around the farm. He found a low hill with a good view of the Ara Fruit area and sat up on it, his eyes tracing the lines of the interwoven canyons. He had designed them purposefully to follow the fickle impulses of wind, but looking at them so directly was oddly mesmerizing.
The twitches in his body worsened as he remained still. The tension hummed through him.
Strangely, looking out across the farm he had sculpted, Randidly began to cry. Slowly at first, just sitting there and allowing tears to slowly collect in the corners of his eyes. But then he blinked and cleared his throat, triggering shoulder-shuddering sobs. The aching twitches kept him locked in that position, staring and letting tears fall down his face. He gritted his teeth and sobbed as quietly as he could, looking over the canyons he made, so spitting mad he can’t muster up the desire to even stop crying.
Gradually, the tension in his body ran its course. He could only wait for it to fully emerge.
Even all these years later, with his mother probably dead, the ache of feeling so replaceable hadn’t faded. More than anything else, Randidly understood why he hadn’t wanted to face this dark emotion for so long. He sniffed loudly as fluids began to drain freely through his sinuses. Because now he was left with this truth about how his mother felt about him, without any sort of recourse. It sat in his chest now, true and constant. Processing it didn’t help. It just-
His head whipped around sending a glob of nose-phlegm tumbling through the air. A familiar face poked over the edge of the hill. Devick as a young woman had her hair up in a ponytail. When she smiled at him, her whole face brightened. That intensity that would eventually sputter into madness now burned bright and pure from within her features. “Aha! This time I had to follow you, but it was worth it. Nether King Hungry Eye, I presume-”
She stopped, really looking at him for the first time. She froze in a strange sort of scandalized panic. Her expression of surprise was almost enough to cheer him up. She spoke in a small voice. “I’m not… interrupting anything, am I? Should I… leave?”
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