The Legend of Randidly Ghosthound

Randidly felt like a bloated toad. His stomach clenched unpleasantly and he felt the powerful urge to retch into the void of space. He sympathized immensely for lazy anacondas, dragging their prey around inside of his stomach. Even as he persevered, his body rebelled against him in an extremely unusual way, demanding that he cease and desist this very instant. But he only gritted his teeth and allowed the process to continue.

He would not back down now.

Influence +2!

Influence +2!

Influence +1!

…

Damnit, why the hell is this absorption so horrible?!?! Randidly roared mentally. But despite the strange agony, he remained floating in space, not daring to spoil the process. Thick veins of Nether spread out from him, rippling under the influence of an invisible wind. This was already his third attempt at dragging this entire planet within his Alpha Cosmos. But Randidly knew from his shudder-inducing prior two attempts that the only thing worse than absorbing a planet into his body… was failing to do so halfway and having to forcefully expel a portion of it.

It was like vomiting up an organ and being able to feel it hanging in the uncaring universe when you walked away.

Lucky, the ‘reverberations’ from his failures had been mostly in the realm of Nether. His Nether Core had trembled and hummed like a car with a failing engine for a few days until the flaw had healed itself. Randidly wondered if the race of Flying Serpents on the planet's surface had noticed anything at all; his examination of the population on the surface detected no interruption of their daily life.

In addition, Randidly had learned several lessons about expanding the scope of the Nether Array from moon-sized to planet-sized. Even his tightly woven creation needed some additional reinforcement, to fully drag this massive planet into his body. That was why he had approached this third attempt with a bit more confidence.

Maybe… Randidly reflected sourly as his Nether Core continued to spin wildly. I… shouldn’t have started with… the largest of the planets…

Influence +2!

Influence +2!

Influence +3!

…

Congratulations! Your Skill Stigma of the Stillborn Phoenix (L) has grown to Level 355!

Randidly released another hissing breath as his tail traced several complex sigils in the air. The Nether Array around the planet tightened further, drawing it even more deeply to within Randidly’s Alpha Cosmos. He could feel it now, pressing against his chest, attempting to crush his body, the conduit, to its passage.

You cannot hold me, the planet seemed to say.

But Randidly’s body was powerful. Powerful enough to house a few worlds, for sure. Especially after being tempered so thoroughly by the powerful electromagnetic radiation of his Hierarchy of Burden.

Randidly shuddered as the planet shifted in significance. Part of the reason that he accumulated so much Influence during these episodes was some sort of alignment. He was not only pulling physical matter into himself, but also a whole host of hidden significance that had been squished by the System limitations into the surrounding area. Now he had to drag out all that ‘wiring’ and absorb it into himself.

Randidly wiped some sweat off his forehead with a twitching hand. Nothing… can ever be easy, huh…?

There was another painful shift as the planet was dragged another small step into his person. Randidly gritted his teeth. His tail accelerated, manipulating more and more Nether to urge the process along. But ultimately… he was somewhat helpless. This was just not something that could be rushed.

Congratulations! Your Skill Precise Nether RItual (L) has grown to Level 378!

Influence +2!

Influence +2!

Congratulations! Your Skill Stigma of the Stillborn Phoenix has grown to Level 356!

And YOU. Randidly thought hatefully as he looked at the Skill Level notification. Even if it boosts me in other ways… why the hell do I have a Skill that increases the pain I have to endure…?

Randidly slapped his chest, attempting to distract himself, but it was just such a small ripple in the flood of sensations that was grinding him to pieces. His Nether Core released a keening whine, barely able to keep up with Randidly’s demands even after he had spent a month accumulating within the depths of the shaft before this attempt.

Another shudder. Another small shift. Randidly pressed his eyes shut and willed himself to withstand the combination of pain and horrible pressure he was experiencing.

And then, blessedly, something gave. Some accumulation or alignment or momentum reached critical mass and the grinding motion of the planet became a constant movement. The process became a slide downhill. The pain increased slightly, but Randidly could feel the progress. His breaths were rapid and shallow. Within five minutes, the planet in front of him had vanished, torn away from the universe of the Nexus and now existing within his Alpha Cosmos. His breastbone ached, having born that intensity for so long.

Slowly, all the muscles across his body began to relax.

I… did it… Randidly was too stunned and exhausted to think about it deeply. He simply gawked at the empty expanse in front of him for several seconds. He could already feel the new addition to his Alpha Cosmos, using the significance and images of the population to approximate the prior climate and orient itself within his body in a similar circumstance.

A ghost of a smile flitted across his face, somewhat muted by the trembling of his muscles. For the first time since he had received the appendage, his tail hung limp behind him, completely spent by the accomplishment. He managed to send a message to the Winged Serpent Nemesai, asking him to investigate and make sure his planet wasn’t having any difficulties, before teleporting back to Nrorce’s farm, putting on his gloves, and stumbling back through the lightning tunnel.

Randidly gratefully found a grassy spot between the fields and just plopped down in the dirt. His blurry mind sank into himself, quickly finding oblivion in sleep. His tail crawled like an inchworm, wrapping itself comfortably around his waist.

... and a few hours later he was awoken, of all the inane things in the universe, by the resonant ding of what could only be a doorbell.

Randidly pushed himself up with his palms, his jaw cracking as he yawned. He rubbed dirt from the back of his head. He skimmed through the glowing response from the Winged Serpent that spoke to his concrete success and then stood and stretched. Another loud dong rang out across the farm, drawing Randidly’s attention. It was coming from the largest of the gates, the Northern one.

Not minding the growing heat of his gloves as he moved with purpose, Randidly loped across the farm and arrived at the Northern gate just as a furiously mumbling Nrorce did. The short goblin spared Randidly a venomous glance. “Eh? Finally finished with your nap? Well, don’t bother getting up on this old goblin’s account. And about your Engraving-”

Nrorce led Randidly into an antechamber filled with white lightning, he enthusiastically detailed each one of the minor flaws that he found with the already adjusted Engraving. At first, Randidly was receiving them with good humor, but the goblin simply didn’t stop. And as he listened, Randidly couldn’t help but realize that some of the points Nrorce was bringing up were surprisingly relevant.

“And also-” Nrorce raised a finger but was cut off by a third sonorous ring of the doorbell. The goblin’s tiny eyes narrowed to slits. “Bah! I’ll deal with you later.”

They proceeded past the antechamber to an outlook peeking out from within the massive alabaster walls. There were a few short steps that Nrorce ascended to stand and peer down at the area in front of the gate. It seemed they were about five meters above the ground, impressively sneering down at door-to-door salesmen and the like who might turn up. Randidly couldn’t help but be amused that the goblin’s tone was just as aggressive with these people as it had been with him. “Hey! You! Do you think I’m deaf?!? Stop ringing that. What do you want?”

Randidly shifted forward to stand near Nrorce and saw several other blue-skinned goblins dressed up in tiny little suits. With the five meters, they had to crane their necks upward to look at where Nrorce and Randidly were standing. The leader opened her mouth and began to speak. “We are the representatives of-”

“Oaressel, do you also think me blind? I know who you are. Why the hell are you here?” Nrorce complained.

The leading goblin pressed her lips together. “Fine, let’s skip the pleasantries. Our planet is dying, Nrorce. We cannot continue like this forever. Ivlin is dead. And due to your relationship with her, we’ve allowed-”

“My relationship with her? You’ve allowed?!?” Nrorce snarled with enough force that even Randidly was surprised that the small body could contain that much vitriol. There were no image reverberations, but the sheer emotion that the small goblin briefly released caught him by surprise. “And do not spin yourself webs of fancy; you and your council live on the scraps I deign to give you. Her legacy belongs to me. As it always will. So you can take your proclamation and shove it up your ass.”

“We cannot live like this! People are starving while you horde Aether!” Oaressel stepped forward. There was anger in her, but more than that, Randidly felt her desperation. “Please. We must consider the Nexus’ option of turning a portion of our planet into a Dungeon. Apparently… apparently it is quite rare for a planet to have passed to the Calamity to possess… intelligent life that is as weak… as we are. We… people at o-our tier of power... are in high demand.”

Randidly’s heart clenched to hear the bitter acknowledgment in Oaressel’s tone. The other members of the delegation lowered their heads and stared at the ground.

“Bah! Fuck you. Fuck you and fuck everyone who wishes to take her memory away from me. This legacy is MINE.” Nrorce hissed. Then he spun around and brushed past Randidly to head back within the farm. For a long time, Randidly stood there, his mind trying to unpack what he had just heard. Below, the goblins in their tiny suits sighed and allowed their shoulders to slump.

Randidly turned and followed after the wonderful chef he had stayed with for three weeks. “Nrorce-”

“I’m not in the mood to talk,” his host grunted. Nrorce didn’t even bother to check if Randidly had properly latched his image suppression gloves before following. He just hobbled forward, radiating a profound malice. “If your mouth has the energy to flap… just go clean up the bear enclosure.”

Refusing to say anything else, Nrorce stomped through the antechamber and back toward his home.

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