The Legend of Randidly Ghosthound

Commissioner Arrietti woke up with a wide smile on his face after a dreamless sleep. Sunlight filtered through the window in thick, golden rays that bounced off the floor and filled his room with warmth. It was probably almost 10 A.M. at this point, but sleeping in was perfectly acceptable for Elmer today; he had earned a day off as a reward for his hard work in preparing for Randidly Ghosthound’s birthday.

Today was entirely his. Kharon itself seemed to unfold before his mind like a blooming flower. And Elmer Arrietti intended to stop and smell the roses.

“Hum hum… I suppose I should treat myself to one of those fancy scones from the place around the corner…? They should have had enough time to get up after the Eidolon Crucible and bake them by now…” Elmer stretched leisurely and then swung his legs off of the bed. After slipping his feet into an extremely comfortable pair of wolf-fur slippers, Elmer shuffled to the window and threw open the curtains obscuring this beautiful world.

For a few seconds, Elmer seemed to exist in a solid beam of golden light. It warmed his skin and curled his face into an even larger smile. His view from his fifth floor, which was the highest floor in his apartment building, flat allowed him to calmly examine the surroundings. People scurried below, beginning to head to work with platforms releasing emerald energy floating behind them. Kharon was alive and well; likely those scones were ready for him. Truly, the only source of happiness in the world was vacation-

Elmer paused as his gaze was drawn, unbidden, across the street to the opposite building’s roof. The figure of a woman was standing on the roof opposite his building. Her one arm was covered in crackling lightning, the other in almost completely transparent ice. Her gaze was extremely intense as she looked toward the direction of Town Hall. Her image was so powerful that it completely chilled Elmer to the bone just to look at her.

Closing the curtains for no particular reason, Elmer turned away with a smile plastered on to his face. “Truly, vacation is the panacea of all woes… and nothing says vacation like a scone…”

His vaguely optimistic muttering continued as he put on his coat, grabbed a hat, and walked down the stairs and onto the street below. The sun peeked between the nearby buildings and illuminated the happily productive street. The chill that had gripped his body finally began to fade. Unable to resist the impulse, Elmer glanced upward and was relieved to see that the mysterious woman who had been standing on the roof was gone.

Likely for a relaxing stroll, Elmer comforted himself. All appreciated the joys of vacation.

Elmer sailed on that good mood for quite some time, allowing him to go to his favorite bakery, obtain a cranberry and pecan scone, and sit at a stucco table in the sun while reading a newspaper. Most of the news included was scintillating rumors about the party, which Elmer ignored, but he did have an enjoyable twenty minutes working on a crossword puzzle before giving up.

“Heh, truly, the wonders of free time never cease…” Elmer said to himself as he stood and tucked the newspaper under his arm. Then a blur of emerald light came whizzing past him on high speeds along the street. Commissioner Arrietti’s traitorous body, honed by training with the Order Ducis, brought his head whipping around and sized up the disturbance.

It was the form of a familiar child riding quickly on a small flying platform made of wood. That child was leading a group of four children, and when they reached the intersection, each split off in his or her own direction in a burst of emerald light. Several other people in the surrounding area also twisted around to glance at the disturbance, but everyone shrugged and went back to what they were doing once it had shot past.

Elmer nodded in a kindly manner to an acquaintance at a nearby table and began walking away. Yes, today is my day off. No need to-

“Commissioner Arrietti.”

Elmer’s expression froze as he spun on his heel to face the speaker: Annie, the White Hunter. She favored him with an indulgent smile and put a lazy hand on her hip. “Have you seen my daughter? She definitely passed this way, but I can’t tell which direction she took. Did you happen to see?”

Her expression made it clear she knew he knew the answer to her question.

Elmer’s first instinct was to open his mouth and say that he was currently off duty, but then he took a second look at Annie’s smile and strangled that impulse. Instead, he coughed lightly and then pointed in the direction that the leading child had fled. And just like that, Annie seemed to dematerialize in front of him.

Releasing a breath, Elmer took a quick glance around, confirmed that there were no other important individuals around, and began walking briskly forward. Beyond scones and sunlight, superfluous shopping is also within the purview of a relaxing vacation. Yes, perhaps some scented candles… and in the evening I will take a grand bath…

With newfound confidence that his day would definitely be relaxing, Elmer wandered across Kharon toward the commercial district. In this instance, he planned on heading to the newly opened indoor shopping complex. Although he had a scone for a light breakfast, it was getting late enough that lunch in the food court wouldn’t be remiss.

Elmer reached down and squeezed his belly with a pained expression. Overeating was also necessary for one to fully enjoy a vacation...

But as he neared the entrance, Elmer noticed quite a few people milling about the area with stiff spines and lowered necks that indicated nervousness. Instantly, Elmer couldn’t help his gaze sharpen. Was there an incident happening at the indoor shopping complex…?

Elmer promptly spun on his heel, daydreaming about a relaxing half-hour in one of the executive bath rooms available to him. But as he turned around, he found himself face to face with two young women dressed up in the uniform of Kharon’s police force. Both seemed like they were on the verge of tears.

“Commissioner Arrietti! I’m so glad you are here!” The younger one, Elise, seemed to be trembling. “We… we didn’t know what to do… but they… the… The Nemesai are inside the store.”

Again, Elmer wanted to just say that this was his day off, but Elise seemed so young, despite the ah-, tailored fit of her police uniform…

Commissioner Arrietti cleared his throat and put on a serious expression. He reached up and rubbed his chin, as he always imagined a real Sherlock Holmes would do. “Indeed? What is the situation inside?”

The other officer, Janet, shook her head helplessly. “The good news is that it’s not too bad. They are just shopping. But a lot of people are disturbed by their presence… we wanted to ask them to leave, but…”

Immediately Elise’s eyes brightened. “Would you be able to come with us…?”

Inwardly, Elmer scowled fiercely. This is my day off, damnit! But outwardly, he released a soft sigh. “Ladies, of course, we are here to protect the peace and tranquility of Kharon’s citizens. But we must also consider that we are representatives of Kharon! And therefore of Randidly Ghosthound. He personally extended his hospitality to the Nemesai, so we must abide by his decision...”

Elmer quite enjoyed throwing Randidly Ghosthound under the bus for this problem, but the reaction of the two women was not what he expected.

Both women seemed enlightened, as though he had relayed the words of a sage. They nodded fervently. At least feeling satisfied with his performance, Elmer was about to make an excuse to depart when the wide double doors to the shopping complex swung open and two figures walked out.

Well, neither walked. The Winged Serpent beat its wings to fly forward and the Grey Lich floated along in its wake. As Elmer froze, the Grey Lich lifted the small and glittery pink bag and sniffed at it distastefully. “Is this truly necessary?”

“Understanding humans is useful,” The Winged Serpent said, its tongue flicking out and its eyes scanning the surrounding people. The duo continued to move forward, breezily ignoring all of the people who were waiting outside of the shopping plaza. “The act of bathing requires soap. So we bought soap. Now it is time to try bathing.”

“Isn’t it just submerging oneself in water?” the Grey Lich pointed out. “Can we not find other bodies of water? Why must it be done in a bathhouse?”

“I do not know why bathhouses are the most common, which is why we should attempt it.” The Winged Serpent countered.

The Grey Lich harrumphed as they floated around the corner and out of earshot. “But why did you pick this soap?”

“It was the most popular…”

And then the two were gone. Even as Elmer released a secret breath that he had been holding even as Elise slapped him appreciatively on the shoulder. “Ah, well. That was weird, wasn’t it? But thanks for your support, Commissioner Arrietti. It’s good to know that you have our backs… oh, when your shift is over, why not come out for a drink with some of us? You work way too much…! Your hair is gonna fall out at this rate.”

The two women departed with waves and smiles. Elmer wanted to bring up the fact that he was not, in fact, working right now, but decided that it was better just to smile and wave back. In addition, he furiously suppressed any thought of his hair falling out.

Hum… this weather is too warm… yes, taking a bath now would be a waste of the day… hmmm… of course! Why didn’t I think of it…! It’s probably too early for Heiffal and his goons to be at the bowling alley…!

Struck by this inspiration, Elmer Arrietti rapidly hustled across town. Despite the ostentatious renovations that had occurred recently, he couldn’t deny that the new facilities were extremely well done. The chairs were comfortable and the lanes were spacious. Besides, there was a full-service restaurant in the new lanes that was open 24/7.

Elmer’s excitement remained with him exactly until the moment that he came out of a side street and faced the entrance to the bowling lanes to find four very unusual individuals standing there. One of those individuals was someone that Elmer definitely did not want to talk to, and the others…

Needless to say, Elmer immediately turned away and started rapidly walking down the street in the opposite direction. Equally needless to say, a voice caused him to stop.

“Elmer Arrietti! Just the man I wanted to see! Ha, it’s like I wished for you to appear and now here you are…”

Myomb walked up to Elmer with a wide smile as Elmer stiffly twisted around and frantically tried to think of an excuse to leave. But before Elmer could say anything, Myomb was speaking again, making a sweeping gesture to the three reptilian creatures behind him. “These frost dragons expressed an interest in learning the human game of bowling, but I realized that I’m much too far from being a master to tell them about it. So… could you…”

“Well, my day is a bit…” Elmer began, but he was interrupted as Myomb leaned forward.

“By the way,” As Myomb spoke, Elmer’s eyes widened. The man was blushing! “Did you… ah… hear about the perfect game I bowled on the Premier Lane…?”

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