Randidly walked forward and crossed the invisible line to trigger the mechanism around the podium. A breeze swept through the surrounding area and caused the paper to flutter lightly. A solid mass of image seemed to rise up out of the paper and glow with a dim light that reflected off of the ink on the page. And then he could hear the Creature’s voice, as though she was there standing next to him.
She started this strange letter by sighing. “We… how can two people who want the same things find such occasion to hate each other? Especially at this depth of passion…? Other than fixating on each other… both our main goals have always been the System. Isn’t it funny? If we... no, I’ll admit this: it is I who needed to approach you differently. But I didn’t. Because you were just another flesh-based life form struggling with the System. You started as… just another experiment. Your life meant nothing to me.”
Rather than being upset, Randidly was honestly rather shocked to hear the Creature say the truth so bluntly. Because he had expected there to be a plea hidden in this letter, he was guarded against the language she used. But she just...
Ignorant of Randidly’s reaction, the Creature’s voice continued to speak. “And since this might very well be the last time we communicate, I will also admit that I hated you just as much as you hated me. I had a thousand experiments, with each one at least successful enough for me to attempt the tricks I tried on you on them. And yet… I didn’t. I kept coming back to you. So where, Randidly Ghosthound, did we go so wrong?”
The hairs on Randidly’s back began to stand straight up. His whole body was tingling. One of her lines repeated over in his head.
I hated you just as much as you hated me.
The Creature didn’t slow for the reaction she elicited in Randidly, however. “You probably believe it’s all my fault for turning us against one another, for plucking you out of your puny planet and throwing you directly into a dangerous. Or it’s because I tried to force you to submit to me directly. Or you are made that I invaded your soulspace not once but twice, or for trying to make your Zone’s Raid Dungeon become an escape from the reach of the System… yet I have done this thousands of times across my incarnations in different Cohorts. I have been hopeful and disappointed, but you…
“You got to me immediately. Perhaps I would have simply abandoned you to your own devices after my first failure if you hadn’t hated me with such a self-righteous fire right from the get-go. You were indignant that I would dare try to domesticate you. Oh, the privilege you displayed! The entire extent of your soft existence immediately became clear to me from your attitude. Yet as I tried to rip through that soft flesh… I found the heat of your hate waiting there underneath it all. It… Well. I had only ever felt a pure hatred like that in one other person.
“In myself.
“And oh, I justified my fascination with you to myself by saying that it was indicative of your future accomplishments in images, but really… I just think I was nostalgic for that heat. Because I had become so, so tired from running for so long. Thankfully, you quickly substantiated those claims by using a piece of my essence and a broken Aether Connection of a Judgement to create an Aether Crossroads. I was ecstatic. I was obsessed with you.”Randidly’s chest was burning. He began methodically cracked his knuckles as the Creature talked about him like he was a petulant child by whom she had been amused.
“Want to know a secret? Whereas I had always communicated by proxy with most others… I never failed to manifest my incarnation directly for your benefit. To motivate you. To torture you. I even began to borrow the face of your crush and found myself oddly fixated on that form. Perhaps because I had hidden myself so deeply I’d forgotten my own form… I became the mask I took from your life.
“Did you know that your entire Cohort viewed the face of Lyra when I spoke to them? Despite you being one of the so many souls that I interacted with… you had such widespread influence. I even…
“Well, let’s save that for later. For now, I’ll say it directly: I hate you and couldn’t stop myself from pursuing you because you remind me of the worst time in my life… and also the best time. You are the same stubbornness, pride, and selective compassion that changed my life in the first place. Yet I dug and dug and pressured you and I couldn’t find the weakness that would eventually break me.
“You were not perfect, of course, but that was even worse; you were flawed and superior to me. Yet every time I look at you… I can see you failing in the same way that I did. I fear it. I hate how foolish I was. I hate how the Path you insist on taking will lead to the precipice of the same mistakes, whether I threaten or plead with you to do otherwise.”
These last few passages did a lot to take the tension out of Randidly’s shoulders. His hands were limp at his side as he reassured himself that he was still calm. It was… strange to hear the Creature talk so… vehemently about their relationship, if it could even be called that. Yet the violence of her emotions was clear in her raw tone.
As Azriel had urged him to do, hearing the Creature talk like this made Randidly admit to himself he could understand why she would do this. After all, Randidly himself had-
“So I’ll just say this before we move on: You are not the only person that will have to bear the price of your failure, Randidly Ghosthound. I hope you will not forget that.”
All at once, the muscles of his body once more seized up. Randidly gnashed his teeth. He was trembling. If there was one thing Randidly didn’t need, it was a reminder of the consequences of failure. Of course, she would take this opportunity to criticize him. And of course, she would be well aware of his actions in the Dungeon that Lyra had guided him to at her request. And that made Randidly feel humiliated and furious.
And yet...For whatever reason, Randidly believed the voice. Believed that these were the honest words of the Creature. And the strength of that feeling made him immediately suspicious. Around them, the Creature’s Aether continued to dissipate.
“But I’m digressing. To my surprise… this is extremely hard to write. There is so much that I want to say to you... but I’ll start by truly meeting you, for the first of three times. A fresh restart. It’s nice to meet you, Randidly Ghosthound. My name is Yystrix Yule. And although I know you won’t believe me when I say this… I’m dying. By the time you read this, I’ll be dead.”
Pressing his lips into a firm line, Randidly folded his arms and adjusted his stance.
“Ha! Just picturing the face you are making right now fills me with mirth. I have no doubt that you don’t believe me at all. You… hey, this is a slight tangent, but do you know what I’ve wondered for a long time? I eventually came to terms with my fixation on you due to our similarities and my… vested interest in you, but… where did you find the nerve to hate me just as much? If not more so?”
Then there was a break, as though she was really waiting for an answer. Running a hand through his hair, Randidly shot Neveah a message. Why bother to write this meandering letter and then send it to me? Do you think this whole thing is just a ruse to stall for time? Can you-
I’ve already scanned the surrounding area multiple times, looking for more constructs hidden in Yystrix’s remaining Aether. But with so much of it transforming… they would now be easy to spot; there is no way I missed anything. Neveah sent back. Maybe she just… really wanted to talk to you?
Snorting, Randidly turned his attention back to the voice of the Creature.
“I mean, you will point to my various attempts to use Earth to accomplish my goals. Which is fair. And I would say it because you led a life without trying to kill you; the very idea insulted you deeply. But while you definitely hate what I represent, you also hate me personally. You revile me. Makes me wonder how your relationship with your biological mother is because I have definitely been some sort of maternal figure to you…”
Randidly twitched.
“Well anyway, I need to get to the point, I know. Knowing you, you already suspect a trap has been laid around you. No traps here. Just an... Opportunity. A chance to create a dialogue. Because I really am dying. And it’s made me slightly… lost. There is so much I meant to accomplish with my life and yet…”
There was a long sigh and then another pause.
“Age brings with it two things: the knowledge that you will eventually cease to exist and a plethora of life experiences that teach you that taking risks is dangerous. Toward the end, it becomes increasingly difficult not to just… coast forward. For those reasons, I chose to hide from the System and avoid the mistakes I made in the past… and yet… yet I was tempted by what you represented. A completely novel way of existing within the System… Something stumbled onto by luck, but that opened so many possibilities. A brief spark of hope.
“So I’ve decided that I will be the one to lay down my hatred and frustration for you and bare everything I can about the truth of this System you hate. As I’m dying, I’m too tired to do otherwise. What I do today I hope you will see as the benefit that I meant to give you… and I hope that will make you more willing to consider my point of view.
“Hear me now, Randidly Ghosthound. This I promise by all of the images and Skills that I have gathered in my long life; I truly am going to cease to be, I have left no plans in motion that will harm you, and I have made no moves to cause the Earth to fail the Calamities.”
This stream of words was punctuated by that soft glow around the paper erupting into a pillar of white light that shot up and smashed into the ceiling of the cavern. Spinning motes of light drifted downard in a pretty close approximation of fireworks. The still air in the surrounding space stirred as Yystrix’s voice spoke the last line. Her conviction pulsed to become a physical thing in the around Randidly.
Although Randidly was looking at the ground with clenched fists as she spoke, even he couldn’t help but be affected as the image continued to pulse.
As though it was waiting for something. The image steadily pulsed for almost ten seconds. The silence stretched.
Randidly-
“I get it,” Randidly interrupted. Then he raised his head and looked toward the podium. The page had floated a little bit off of the wooden base and was the source of the image. The curling motes of light had almost drifted down to the ground, like a vast tree of brightness. Feeling extremely annoyed, Randidly spoke aloud. “I… feel your intentions.”
Randidly had meant to say that he believed her but knew that this strange manifestation of the image would probably sense the falsehood in his voice as soon as he said it. So he switched up his wording. But it seemed like what he said was enough because the light faded and the glowing piece of paper settled back down on the podium.
In a rather conversational tone, the Creature’s voice continued to echo out into the surrounding area. The earlier light began to fade. “I know how meandering this has been, but I’ve just… just been trying to figure out where I went wrong. The sharp pivots where I went from a lost teenager, to a girl in love, to a mother, and then finally to the monster experimenting with lives. On the one had it feels like it happened so fast I almost missed it, but… if that were true, would I really feel this tired? No, the years I lived through were long.
“Ah, that’s it! One last thing before I tell you my story. I know why I hate you so. The reason above all the reasons. It isn’t just because you are like me… but it’s because you have the same burning fire that I saw in my husband.”
Randidly flexed his hands. “What…?”
Almost like she had heard Randidly’s question, there was a pause in the speaking. It made him worry that the Creature had either predicted his response or the image was conscious enough to recognize what he was saying. It might have been his imagination, but Randidly felt a profound sense of sadness sweeping through the vast cavern.
By this point, the light her image had produced during the Creature’s vows had completely faded. It certainly was an extremely lonely place to die. Notwithstanding the four strange images that the Creature was hiding… if her claims were true, she died here alone after fleeing from the System for thousands of years. And if he was being honest, if he had to guess at a cause of death...
Even through Randidly’s own turbulent emotions, he felt a flicker of pity for Yystrix.
Randidly raised his left arm and pressed his cool, metal fingertips against his closed eyelids. I’m supposed to be calm.
Then the Creature’s voice continued without any sort of emotional affect and Randidly wondered whether he had completely misread the silence.
“Let me introduce myself two more times. I am Yystrix Yule. A surrogate parent to you. I am also the cruel Creature that destroyed thousands of lives in an attempt to escape my past. And that past is the history of the System itself, and the “Nexus” that is my husband’s great ‘fuck you’ to all the trust I placed in him, all of the dreams we swore we’d build.
“And for the final time, I am Yystrix Yule. My husband is Elhume Yule, one of only two beings that have ever experienced the Pinnacle that the Nexus seeks. And my son… a bastard son I had with a Nether King, is the energy being that powers the whole of the System.”
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