Leland quickly returned back into the room with the vial in hand. "Sophia, I'm sorry it took too long for me to come back. We were missing an ingredient and…"
Sophie immediately looked up and smiled weakly. "Leland."
"Your lips are blue." Leland immediately sat down beside his wife and offered the vial to her. He helped her gently drink it down until the color returned to her face. "I... I won't let this happen to you again."
Sophie touched his hand and gave it a squeeze. "You don't have to make promises, Leland. I am sure that I will get better as time passes."
The Alpha looked at his mate and also hoped for the same. However, it had been almost a year already without any results and the same desperation in his heart took hold of him.
What if… what if he could truly bargain with the Witches?
Nothing he was doing was helping his wife recover and he was feeling as if that was the only way he could help Sophie. Sophie looked at the bothered face of her husband and decided to probe about it.
"What is on your mind, Leland?" Sophie asked with a gentle smile. If there was anything she could do to alleviate his fears and worries, then she would do her best to comfort him.
Leland sighed softly and ran his fingers through his hair. "It's less of what and more of who…"
"Who?" Sophie raised a brow.
Leland caught himself and grimaced. "I don't want you to worry about it. It is nothing for you to be concerned about, Sophia."
Sophie pursed her lips. "... You really don't tell me a lot of things, Leland. That's making me more curious though and yet I don't have anyone else to talk to about that."
The Alpha looked at his mate ashamedly. There were so many things about himself that he wished to hide. His weaknesses, insecurities, and other tell-tale signs of flaws made him less willing to share them.
A part of that had been Isolde.
His own family was something that he didn't want to talk about in the past because they were only filled with unhappy and even traumatic memories that he wished to forget.
Leland only wanted to focus on the present.
His happiness with Sophia, her kids, Luciel and Jan, and what their future might be. The Alpha did not want to be crushed by the weight of sadness, loss, and grief and the pendant he wore even in his sleep was his only outlet.
When he looked at Sophie, his beloved mate, still sick… he felt a tremendous amount of sadness. However, he never showed it on the outside. Sophie was unwell. He couldn't burden her with his feelings and worries too.
"Sophia, I've always admired you for emotional strength," Leland said, still not wanting to share what was in his heart. So, he decided to change the subject.
Leland added, "You've gone through so much loss and yet here you are still doing your best to comfort me. You should focus on yourself. I am a man and I will be fine. I just have many things I need to do."
"Oh…" Sophie looked at Leland in disbelief. This man still didn't want to tell her what bothered him and he didn't even share his burden. Weren't mates supposed to share everything?
At first, Sophie thought she couldn't know what he felt because she was not completely a lycan and thus the mate bond effect might only work on Leland. He could sense her feelings, he could share his strength with her, and he could understand her.
However, now she slowly thought her husband might intentionally block her from his heart and mind. So, Sophie couldn't know whatever things bothered him.
He only wanted to keep them to himself. He only shared when he felt like it. When he wanted her to feel his love and his affection. However, he didn't want her to feel his worries and sadness.
Was that true? She wouldn't know for sure because she was only half lycan and things would be different for her compared to other female lycans. So, she couldn't ask to confirm. Unless she met another hybrid like her.
She didn't want to confront Leland about this. She would seem ungrateful if he put up the walls to protect her and she insisted to barge her way in.
And for what? She was currently very sick. Maybe he was doing this because he thought she would become even weaker if he burdened her with his thoughts and problems.
Sophie decided that she should not say anything so Leland wouldn't feel more worried about her.
Sophie smiled and accepted it. She would try some other time. Now was not the right time.
"Thank you," she said quietly after she finished the tea and returned the cup to him.
"I'm doing my best to save you, Sophia," Leland admitted and gently held her shoulders. "I'm doing everything I can because I'm afraid of losing you. I love you and I can't bear the thought of you not being part of my life anymore."
Sophie was stunned to hear him open up like this, even if it was only a little.
This was progress.
She looked up to him and cupped his face lovingly.
"Leland, the reason why we're husband and wife… why we're mates is because we are supposed to share each other's strengths. You don't have to carry all of this burden by yourself. I'm here for you."
"Sophia, you're currently sick and not in a good state of health." Leland touched her hands on his cheeks and smiled back. "You do not need to deal with this right now. Let us go back to sleep."
.
.
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From Missrealitybites:
Leland is really not good at communicating. He thought keeping (bad) things to himself will protect Sophie. I hope he will learn to share more. What do you think?
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