Deep sighs … are the only things you could hear from Selena as she sat on the balcony of Mitis' room and stared at nothingness. You could see from her eyes that her mind wondered elsewhere - she might be there physically, but her mind flew over to Clavis.
"What is he thinking? What is he doing? Why hasn't he come for me? Am I really someone unimportant?" These words kept circling in her mind. And with each passing thought, her eyes teared up … and her heart, broken every second.
Mitis couldn't help but worry for her. She had become silent this past few days, barely eating or drinking. Mitis wanted to help but she decided not to meddle. "Love is not something you force on someone. It is something they discover for their own," she reasoned with herself. "But then again, a little word of encouragement is not so bad".
So Mitis approached Selena and sat across her, on the other side of the tea table. Mitis' tea table was decorated like how English people decorate theirs during afternoon tea time. She was also the one responsible for making Clavis' balcony look too girly.
"My dear, why the long sighs?" Mitis greeted her with a warm smile.
Selena tried to smile back to her but her face was too honest to pretend. Instead, she faced her, but her eyes looked down as soon as they met with Mitis'. Selena sighed once more before she answered her.
"I - I've been thinking," Selena started, her voice, dry. "Maybe it's not the time yet … and that I'm rushing it. Wishing for my feelings to be reciprocated when I myself just … found about it recently. Actually, I've been feeling that way since - but … I just didn't acknowledge and believe it. And right now … I think - it's wrong, or maybe I'm mistaken. I mean … maybe I don't really love him and I'm just disappointed that he doesn't like me".
"My dear … what is so wrong with being in love?"
At these words, Selena's eyes widened. She knew, deep inside her, she really fell in love, and now, she was just denying everything. Her eyes teared up once more.
"It's just … sniff … I don't know if it's worth it to feel this way … sniff … And if I'm even falling for the right guy? Or is he just gonna break my heart? But then, I don't really have much choice already, I'm his fiancée and will become his wife … sniff … I just can't help thinking what's the point of marrying if he doesn't really care about me?
I - I wanted to marry out of love … like you and father.
And I … somehow I want him to love me back".
Mitis reached out her hand to wipe her tears.
"My dear daughter, love is always worth it".
The wind blew hard unto them, fluttering their hair and the skirt of their dresses. And Mitis smiled towards Selena as she said those words. Her smile was different - as if a huge weight carried those words, bringing forth the utter confidence she had about love. Selena found herself in a daze after hearing them.
"Also," Mitis continued, "there is no need for you to worry if you're falling for the right guy because you are - that, I can assure you".
"H-how can you be so sure?"
"Because I've seen you, even before I met you".
Selena's eyes widened once more.
Mitis caressed Selena's cheeks and nodded.
"Yes. To be honest, I am known as one of the most ruthless mothers by many other Magi. That's because ever since Clavis and Illumináire were young, they've been getting a lot of marriage proposals, which I've always declined. Clavis' case got exceptionally harder when he grew older! Because … he seemed too perfect - by means of power, fame, fortune, physical appearance, etc - and many girls liked him for those qualities".
Selena furrowed. "But … I never cared for those. I do admit I like his handsome face and perfectly toned, muscular body. But I think I liked him more on how he treated me, and smiles at me, and … and …" Selena blushed and didn't manage to finish her sentence.
"Exactly! Those foolish girls, caring about his labels, achievements and price tags, they're all blinded. That's why I rejected them all ruthlessly! I don't need someone to worship my son, I need someone to actually love him and care for him as a well being!"
"Right!" Selena firmly nodded.
"Yes, my dear. And then I asked the Supreme Being to grant my son a perfect match".
"Aaaand … that's me?"
Mitis cheerfully smiled and nodded at her. "Yes, it's you. That's why I kept pestering him to get a wife this past few months even if I've always declined marriage proposals. Because I knew you were coming".
"How can you be so sure? Maybe it's not me. Did you see me in a vision or a dream like Illumináire? But you said you're no longer the Oracle, so you can't see the future anymore".
"That's right. But that doesn't mean I can't pray to God and He can't answer my prayers. After I prayed to Him and asked earnestly, He showed you to me in a dream".
Selena couldn't believe her eyes. "S-so you 'actually' saw me? Like the whole me with my purple hair and - everything? I wasn't a shadow or something?"
"Yes," Mitis laughed. "It's a secret though, don't tell Clavis, okay?"
Selena firmly nodded. "I promise!" She got livelier and livelier by the minute. She couldn't believe all the things she was hearing.
"That's also why I've been so kind to you even if I just met you. Actually, Clavis confronted me about it - even he was surprised that I was being so nice when I'm usually the ruthless mother".
"Wow! I didn't know that. That stupid ice block still never learns to tell me anything!"
"Fufufufu … Yes, he's stubborn like that. And also, my dear, just a little tip".
"Hm? Yes mother?"
"Clavis … he - he doesn't believe in the idea of love because he kept on thinking about it logically. And love is not something you 'think' about, it is something you 'feel' in your heart. And when I say heart, I'm not pertaining to the actual organ in our bodies that pumps up blood".
Somehow, Selena understood what she was trying to say. She clenched her chest and nodded in agreement.
"So, my dear, next time you talk to him, or interact with him, don't try to read his feelings by his actions. Try to 'feel' what he is feeling - with you. I think, that way, you would know if he actually cared about you or not. He's always had the tendency to act and say things that contradicts how he feels. It's probably because of his duty as the Oracle's Interpreter".
"I see …," Selena grew silent for a moment. Then, with a sudden determination, she declared to Mitis, "Mother, I've decided!"
And so on, their discussion continued.
On the other hand, Clavis spent the entire week that Selena was gone, as how he usually spent it before she moved in with him - just doing his duties, making rounds, and going back to his room to rest. Even now, as he laid down on his bed trying to get some sleep, 'Everything was back to normal' was what he thought.
Except … he had been feeling something stinging his heart for the entire time.
"She must be happy, now that she can't see me anymore," Clavis thought to himself as he stared at the ceiling of his room. "Since … I always just make her cry. So it's better this way. She won't cry anymore, and I'll have my normal life".
Sting …
"This room … since when did it look so big … and empty?" Clavis asked himself as his eyes surveyed his bedroom. "It looks too girly as well. I should change decorations". He lifted his hands trying to conjure magic but he halted. Then turned around sideways only to see him alone in his bed.
Sting …
"This bed … why does it still smell sweet … even if she's no longer here?" His eyes furrowed now as he began to feel irritated. "I should be happy that I'm not arguing with someone just to be able to sleep in my own bed. Yet why … why can't I sleep? It's been getting harder and harder to sleep these days".
Sting …
Frustrated, Clavis got up and went to the balcony only to see it looking too girly as well. He sighed deeply. Then, unconsciously, he walked towards the nearest chair. It was a light purple, softly cushioned chair with purple ribbons at the handles … and also the same chair Selena always seated on whenever she spent her afternoon drinking tea or coffee or just simply staring at the beautiful view outside.
Clavis smiled wryly as he remembered.
The way she laughed …
The way she pouted …
They way she reprimanded him … or argued with him …
His hands clenched the top rail of the chair. And sadness could be seen reflected in his eyes as he stared down. His mind … lost in deep thought … too much to the point that he didn't notice someone opened the doors to his bedroom.
It was Selena. As soon as she got inside, she walked all around the room to look for Clavis. She kept peeking on every corner only to find him on the balcony. Once she saw him, she pouted real quick. But then, she noticed his sad eyes as he clenched the chair she always used to sit on.
"Tsk! Don't fall for it. He's probably pondering about the anatomy of the chair. It's not what you're thinking!" Selena thought to herself. Then she silently walked towards him.
Clavis let out another sigh.
"Uhm … Clavis?" Selena called out to him from behind.
Clavis was startled. Feeling listless, he looked behind him and saw Selena. His eyes widened in surprise. Then it shrank back to normal, and he chortled wryly at himself.
"Did I unconsciously create an illusion?" Clavis asked himself, his brows still furrowed. He walked towards Selena not knowing it was really her. He reached out his hands and embraced her tightly.
"W-what the -" Selena thought in her mind as her face spelled surprised. "He's flirting again! No! This won't work on me! Hmf!".
Then Selena remembered what Mitis said.
"Don't try to read his feelings by his actions. Try to 'feel' what he is feeling - with you".
And so, Selena did as told. She felt Clavis gently kissing her head, then her ears, and down to her neck. Her face flushed red again and felt electricity run through her body as Clavis caressed her. Then, Clavis held her cheeks with both hands and stared at her.
"His eyes … why do they look so sad?" Selena asked herself.
Clavis kissed her forehead. It felt really warm and gentle. Selena clenched her chest. Somehow she began to 'feel' what Clavis was feeling. She wanted to deny it because she couldn't believe it.
Then, Clavis hugged her tight again. He sniffed her head and smiled warmly afterwards.
"Selena … I miss you. Please come back," Clavis whispered and his voice sounded so desperate and lonely.
At these words, Selena teared up … but this time, they were tears of joy.
"Stupid Clavis!" she teased him. "This IS me! I'm not an illusion you dimwit! Can't you feel it's me?"
Clavis' eyes widened and he loosened his embrace. He took a step back and stared at Selena. He raised his arms again and touched her cheeks.
"She's warm," Clavis assessed. "She's not an illusion". Finally realizing that in front of him was his actual betrothed, his expression relaxed and all the sadness in his face went away. He smiled so happily to the point that even tears could be seen in the corners of his eyes.
Selena's eyes widened again. "H-he's … happy? That I'm back?" she asked herself in disbelief.
Then Clavis couldn't hold himself back anymore. He grabbed Selena again and wrapped her in his arms. This time, he embraced her gently, and longingly.
And as the moon finally showed itself after being covered by the clouds, Clavis gave Selena the sweetest kiss she would never forget.
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