Chapter 7 – The distrustful guild receptionist
To make the examiner speak just once within three minutes!
That seemed to be the adventurer guild’s test. Gamon, who was in charge of my examination, was both high level and decked in combat oriented skills. To be honest, I doubt I’d have a chance by facing him head on.
So instead I dropped my fighting stance and addressed him.
“You know, I’ve always had a knack for telling people’s personalities based on their outward appearances.”
“…”
While holding his quarterstaff at the ready Gamon tentatively listened to what I was saying. Good good.
“Just by seeing a person’s face I can tell what kind of occupation they work in. In your case, there’s something aside from being an adventurer, let’s see…”
Here I intentionally put on an air, holding my forehead like I was thinking. Gamon responded with a smug grin. ‘If you think you can guess it then go ahead and try’, huh? His thoughts were written on his face. Alright, let me show you.
“A brothel’s janitor… No, more like a brothel’s receptionist.”
“!?”
Wide open eyes and a look of surprise. Looked like he was about to leak his voice, but with flustered movements he held his lips with his hands.
Almost, just a single sound would have been fine! But alright, let’s take it further.
“Why do you think I knew?”
“…”
“A lot of things are visible for me. Everything about a person. For example that your full name is Gamon Chokochif, you’re 32 years old, level 82, even that your skills are quarterstaff mastery B, thrust and earth shield. Furthermore your past is clear as day to me.”
“……”
Gamon’s expression clearly changed. Just a little bit more.
“Won’t you say something now? If you speak now I won’t tell it to anyone, ever. Your embarrassing past, that is.”
“………”
Here I turned around to the receptionist who was standing a little distance away from us.
“Please listen. I’ll say it with a loud voice! The truth is, when Gamon was young, he――――”
“…!”
To stop me from saying whatever he thought I was about to say, Gamon rushed over to me, grasping my shoulders as if to shout ‘Oi, stop just a second!’
With a grin and going ‘Just what I was waiting for~’ I punched Gamon’s crotch.
“Ngeh!?”
I didn’t put that much strength into it, but still, any guy’s voice would leak when being attacked there.
“That’s game. You pass, Noir Stalgia.”
Hearing that from the receptionist made me nearly jump from joy, but first I apologized to the injured man next to me.
“I’m sorry for the foul play! I wouldn’t be able to beat you in a straight up fight and I thought you’d just endure a hit to the stomach.”
“Ah, no, that was fine work. Truth is, everything you said was correct. Before I realized it I walked right up to you.”
“Please be at ease. I can’t actually see people’s past.”
“But still, analyze, eh… No, nothing. Congratulations on passing. You’ll make a fine adventurer I can tell~”
It’s apparently a common mindset that asking about the skills of people you’re not close with isn’t good manners. Well, there’s probably a decent number of people that’d rather keep theirs a secret.
The guild receptionist beckoned me.
“Well then, let’s lead you through the registration process. Please follow me inside.”
“Alright.”
As I was in high spirits and about to head back inside my shoulders were firmly grasped from behind. When I turned around it was Gamon with a scary look on his face. Eh, so he’s upset about earlier after――
“――――Let me know when you’re at our place, 『Forest of Huge Tits』 is the name. For your first visit you’ll get an introduction at a special price!”
*Chin chin*, Gamon gently tapped my place down yonder twice.
‘Wh-when the occasion arises,’ I stammered and returned inside.
Is this guild really alright?
◇ ◆ ◇
“Congratulations on passing. My name is Lola, guild receptionist.”
“Glad to work with you.”
Lola was a beauty of the calm and collected sort with an air of maturity around her, despite her age not being too different from mine. She explained the basics of the adventurer system to me.
Seems like adventurers are ranked based on their achievements, with the six ranks E, D, C, B, A and S. E being the lowest and S being godlike.
Obviously I started at the bottom, but even so my titles increased by one.
Noble of the lowest standing, the third son of a baronet! Adventurer of the lowest rank, E class!
…Let’s avoid bragging about it in public.
“Our rules are relatively loose, but please fulfill at least one request every three months. If we don’t hear from you in too long there’s a possibility the guild master will raid your home.”
“Please don’t.”
Life is harsh, is it that wrong to be a shut-in?
“Haha, I was just half joking.”
And the other half?
While I was thinking about how Lola was one of the smoother talkers she handed me a piece of parchment and a pen. I guess this is where I need to enter my personal data.
“Your personal information will only be shared with staff, other adventurers have no access to it whatsoever. Please be at ease.”
So even if you are below commoners’ social status, used to be a criminal or your parents fell from nobility, it won’t be disclosed to a third party, that kind of confidentiality.
“I hold pride in the fact that I am a son of House Stalgia. I have nothing to be embarrassed about.”
Let’s try looking cool a little. After looking dazed for a moment, Lola replied.
“A-, no, it’s not about that, I meant your skills. You know, like you did earlier.”
“Oh that… that’s embarrassing.”
“Not at all, that was most splendid. Anyway, it’s better if the fact that you have that kind of ability doesn’t become too well known.”
“Oh, why’s that?”
I began worrying about what kind of disadvantages analyze might bring with it. Lola brought her face a little closer to mine and while I was thinking about how great she smelled she explained in a whispering tone.
“―――it would make you too popular.”
“Isn’t that a great thing!”
“Ah, not with girls.”
“Oh-, embarrassing.”
“Random brutes would try pressuring you into teaming up with them. As a newcomer you have yet to get to know all the people within the guild.”
Ahh, so that’s what it’s about.
Apparently ability isn’t the only important factor when forming parties, having compatible personalities also plays a big role. It’s best to group up with people who you know you can work well with for a long period of time, but someone that only just joined the guild wouldn’t have those kinds of acquaintances.
Forming a party without knowing what kind of people you’re working with is no good, is the advice Lola is giving me.
“Alright, so for the time being… let’s keep my skills confidential.”
“Good. Due to our duty of confidentiality there will be no cases of disclosing your skills without your permission.”
Being relieved to hear that I wrote my skills down on the parchment. Frankly, I wasn’t sure whether I should include master’s skill set – I actually considered deceiving them in that regard before even coming here. However now I think I’ll put my trust in Lola.
“E-!? The Great Sage skill…”
“Although the usability is still a problem.”
*scribble scribble*
“Haah!? Wait- Huh!? Noir?”
“Yes?”
“Keep in mind that our amount of paper is finite as well. Please stop with the jokes.”
“Er, no, I’m not joking.”
I see, it might be her first time seeing creation, bestowal and edit. Looks like she thought I was writing whatever sounded good.
“Every so often we get them. People that exaggerate their own skills, or rather, embellish them. After all, a good skill set is quite the advantage when looking for a party.”
People with strong skills are in high command, which makes it easy for them to pick their favorite party to join. Prefacing like that, Lola went on.
“But still, don’t you think this is overdoing it?”
“Right, if I just write creation and edit people won’t know what it means.”
“No no, that much is recognizable.”
Oh, so she knows them?
Lola pointed to the flag hung up inside the guild. Odin’s coat of arms sure is cool. Worthy of being called the symbol of the guild.
“This is Odin, you know? The Odin that Olivia Servant was part of.”
“Master was!?”
A-, whoops.
Lola’s eyes turned ice cold after I accidentally said master!
“Mhm, Noir? Rarely, reeeally~ rarely we’ve got people like that. People that call themselves the successors of Olivia.”
“Uh-huh.”
“But you know, every single time, eventually their lies are exposed. Every. Single. Time.”
“There are no lies in my entries though.”
*Sigh,* “and here I believed you until midway through…”
After looking at me with disappointed eyes she went to get something from behind her counter. It looked like a blue diary (?), but somehow it had a
mysterious air around it.
“Heheh~. You just thought ‘A diary?’ didn’t you?
“I am in awe of your insight.”
“This isn’t a diary, it’s a book of analyzation.”
Based on its name I could guess what it did. Something along the lines of touching it making your information appear on top of the paper.
“Ee―, if you had something like that then just use it from the start――”
Seeing me grumble like that Lola went ‘Tsk, tsk, tsk’ while wagging her finger before her face. Man, she’s really getting into it.
“It’s a magical tool, you see. Its number of uses is limited, which is why we only use it on questionable people.”
“Ah――, so I’m questionable then.”
“How about it, do you feel like retracting your skills yet?”
Even if you tell me all that, I really have them, so…, seeing my still halfhearted look Lola decided to demonstrate the book’s true worth.
“Please touch this page.”
“Gladly, but just in case, what if I was really saying the truth?”
“It’s been 613 days since I became guild receptionist, alright? I have an eye for people. …But sure, how about apologizing by pulling up my skirt and going
‘Please forgive me, Master Noir.'”
Uwah, that’s bold. Thinking ‘If that’s how serious you’re about it,’ I placed my hand on the paper. Without much delay glossy blue letters came afloat on the pure white paper. From my age and level all the way to my skills, everything was correctly described.
“…”
Well well, it appears the results made Lola freeze. From her perspective it turned into an impossible development.
“O-o-o-o-o-olivia’s actual d-d-d-d-disciple…”
“You’re trembling a little too much. Uh, what was it again? A skirt pull and going ‘I love you, Master Noir’, I think.”
“Wwhawawawaaー”
Her lips and hands were shaking terribly. Where went the calm receptionist from earlier!
Nonetheless, looks like she’s the kind of person to properly keep her promises. She walked up to me from behind the counter. From there, she looked at me with a mix of pleading for her life and begging me to save her.
I looked away.
You said it yourself after all, now you need to take responsibility. Gathering her resolve she grasped the cuff of her skirt and pulled it up.
Triangle―― that is to say, her panties became exposed.
White with a little tie, really cute.
I said.
“‘I love you, Master Noir,’ I believe it was.”
It was a little different, but it seems like she wasn’t in a state to notice. With a deep red face she repeated after me.
“I-I-I l-love you, M-master N-n-noirueeeh――”
It’s not something to start crying about!
It started to look like I was some kind of criminal so I hastily urged her to put down her skirt.
While thinking ‘Thanks for the sight.’
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Thanks for reading. Next chapter sometime this week. Special thanks to everyone pointing out typos and mistakes.
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