Last time she felt pleasure?
Never...
Fourteen years ago, her undesired fiancé from the Lionheart family had overstepped his bounds, he sought her body before marriage was due, abusing her... and as a consequence, she gave birth to this child, back then... nothing more than a monster in her mind, several times she thought about killing that fetus, but using the marriage as an excuse, she, Isabella Greenwood, condemned herself to live with a man she didn't love and raise this child.
But fate wasn't that kind.
It wasn't until she gave birth to that beautiful child that she realised, this was no monster, sadly... the Lionheart family wasn't willing to take responsibility and the engagement was called off... her family a low-tier noble family couldn't possibly rival the Earl family of the Lionhearts... her own family betrayed her for no longer being 'pure' and with a child even, as if it had been her fault.
'It wasn't my fault!' was not something she could tell a hungry child.
Thankfully, some members of the family were willing to help her, until they weren't.
She struggled to not hate this child, what she believed to be the cause of her misfortune. it was so hard to not hate him, eventually, she realised that the best she could do was to ignore him.
But she was his mother, and this child was her son... she couldn't ignore him, at least her heart didn't allow her to do so.
Isabella's mind regained its lucidity with realisation, the realisation that this little monster -her son- just gave her pleasure in a life of pain, was beginning to dawn.
And it came along several other minuscule realisations, how this 'little monster' had done his best to make their lives easier, she didn't work as hard as before, because he helped... she didn't fend off the thieves or angry neighbours because he did... she didn't have to always clean the house, because he helped.
Her life was easier, because this little monster that she decided not to kill and instead raise as difficult as it was, was here and he became indispensable in her life.
Even now, fired and unemployed, she didn't feel compelled to go out there and whore herself out, because he was here, and as ridiculous as it was, with merely fourteen years of age, he was putting more money on the table than she did, regardless of the method.
He had become a young man, no longer a kid. It was more than evident, that this person was no longer a 'son'.
Not after today.
And her silence indicated that she didn't know how to cope with it.
...
"Mother, are you okay?" He saw that for the longest while she didn't even move and began to get worried, 'did I get carried away?'
"I-I am... are you finished?" Her gaze didn't even look at him, how? what gaze would she look at him with? A mother in love with her son? A woman in love with her potential mate? she no longer knew what she felt... and tears were threatening to come out as that realisation continued to dawn, what she did, what she allowed him to do with her body.
"Yes, I finished but... you stained yourself, I should clean it." He said still stuttering, a young man that tasted the ultimate forbidden fruit and wanted more, sadly, she wasn't up for it now, there were more important things in her head.
"Leave me... I'll clean it... leave the bath, Constantine... go to sleep, it is late." She needed to think, by herself.
Obediently, he stood up and departed the room, only to be stopped midways.
"Constantine."
"Yes, mother?"
Hugging her knees in apparent vulnerability, she saw her son, standing up in front of her and seeking the objective of her vision, she saw 'it'.
There it was, standing erect proudly, bigger than what a boy his age should have, she wondered where he took those genes from... in any case, a smile made way to her lips before she dismissed him.
"Don't do this to anyone else..." Her meaning was apparent, 'what we just did... that you're very aware of, I don't want you doing it with anyone else.'
"Yes."
Having left the room, Constantine stood there, naked and with a raging palpitating heart, with a raging and painful boner wondering what he just did... what they just did.
Wondering if things would ever be the same. Whilst at the other side of the room, Isabella hugged her knees, ignoring her furiously palpitating heart, and failing horribly to do so.
Swinging between two worlds, one where she condemned herself... one where she rejoiced.
The feeling of condemning herself was all too common for the last fourteen years when she regretted not having kicked that bastard's balls before he ruined her life. It contrasted horribly with the much more happy and fulfilled feeling.
The feeling experienced for the first time by a lady in her twenty-eight years of age... that considered herself for once... a desired woman.
Isabella Greenwood remained there, thinking for at least two more hours before finally cleaning herself down there and departing.
...
That night Constantine had been trying to sleep after a deep time of consideration when the door opened, giving way to a much cleaner Isabella who used a cloth to dry off her hair, her naked body couldn't be seen properly in the darkness as there was no candle burning... her bed should have been empty, they used her bedsheets to cover that bastard's corpse.
But that wasn't the case, Constantine lay raw on the bed while his sheets rested on her bed.
She smiled and walked up to his bed, sitting on the edge, regarding her son's 'sleeping' face.
An agglomeration of thoughts and intentions had just brought a cataclysm of feelings, those that she had denied for the longest while and that due to the nature of their relationship, she could bear to deny stubbornly.
Until now.
Unlike him, reluctant, she knew deep inside it wouldn't ever be the same.
Once the silhouette of this individual fully transformed from 'son' to 'man' she knew there was no going back.
And as taboo as it felt to think that, the world had been so cruel that little did she care about what it thought of their private affairs.
If the world wasn't concerned enough to care about how they fed each other or the struggles they went through, then surely the world is not qualified to impose on her how she chooses to love her son.
It all had a start and it would certainly have an end.
When she heard the rumours, about that silver-haired brat that women got for pleasure... about that brat that was apparently so good in bed, those sluts wouldn't say names... they had husbands to conceal the truth from, but she knew.
And she knew she didn't feel offended that her son was doing such a nasty thing behind her back, no... that was what began the mush that her brain currently is.
She felt jealous that they were doing that with HER son, when she could only look at him from the distance and silently regret having been so cold, having not cultivated their relationship... not having been a good mother, even when he had been the best son there is.
It was too late to be a good mother, the barrier between them couldn't be easily toppled by either of them, a barrier that she had created herself as sad as it was.
But she realised today that she could be something more.
Looking down she saw him still ragging hard and gulped taking her hand there without much thought, gripping him by the base.
!!!
Constantine's eyes opened abruptly in the darkness where he could merely see a silhouette as well as the wet silver hair falling on top of his face, dripping.
"Don't say anything..." She said softly, pumping up and down.
"M-Mother..."
"It must be painful, right?"
"Yes."
"Then... I'll relieve it just like you did to me... and then we can go back to sleep."
"O-Okay ugh..."
"Does it feel good?"
"Yes..."
"Then... once you feel like... you need some relief, just tell me... Constantine, you don't need to tell anybody else."
He gasped, she was suggesting...
"And when I need it, I'll tell you too... no one else." Her eyes contained seriousness.
"..."
"We're mother and son... so doing this, shouldn't be unnatural for us." She had lost it, and she didn't care.
"M-Mother I-" He felt it coming under her ministration, faster than usual, his resistances seemed to crumble whenever she was involved.
"Let it out." It was like a command that activated his senses, only she had the 'commandment' to order his body, a right that she would use throughout their lives. Soon he'd also realise that his voice had the same 'commandment' against her body, but it wasn't today.
Today they just broke a barrier that would crumble to never raise again.
"Ugh!"
...
Constantine opened his eyes abruptly, feeling a moist, wet and delicious feeling in his mouth.
He found himself out of that cluster of memories, instead... there she was, that silver-haired elf goddess.
Once feeling him regain his consciousness she pouted with tears in her eyes.
"M-My Champion!"
"Aurelainne..."
Oddly enough Constantine saw that world filled with trees and life, her private world.
'How did I end up here... and... Isabella...'
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