Chapter 193
When she heard these words, Huo Shao Ting's eyebrows frowned slightly as he gestured for Assistant Zhang to go out first.
"Shao Ting, do you have time now?"
Rong Dai changed her shoes and went into the room to check that the little sister had already gone back.
She went to the kitchen to pour herself a glass of red wine and took a light sip. The slight sourness was followed by wisps of fruity aroma between her teeth and lips.
"I have time. Drink less when I'm not by your side."
Huo Shao Ting answered her. Hearing her pouring wine, his voice gently advised her.
He was very nervous. He had listened to the recording and seen the video too.
Rong Dai was his wife. This time, Yang Wanwan had provoked his reverse scales, so he could not possibly let her live.
Yet Rong Dai did not object at all to what happened with Zuo Ran and Wen Shi Lan previously. What was different this time?
A faint smile appeared at the corner of Rong Dai's lips as she lazily curled up on the sofa with a blanket over her lap after turning off all the lights in the room.
"Shao Ting, it's not that I'm being merciful. I want to let go of my past self. There are some things that I really should let go of now."
Her voice was very calm but full of vicissitudes.
On the other end of the phone, Huo Shao Ting pursed his lips tightly, glanced at the time on his watch, then quickly wrote a line on the document and beckoned Assistant Zhang to come in.
Assistant Zhang hurriedly came in to take the document. Seeing the words written on it, he couldn't help but twitch inwardly but didn't dare say anything. He hurried off to book plane tickets.
"Shao Ting, I want to let it go."
Rong Dai's voice sounded a little low.
Yang Wanwan's desperate counterattack had almost drowned her in the pond.
She remembered all this very clearly.
The testimonies from Zhu Li were like a pair of hands strangling her throat, making it a little hard for her to breathe.
In the dressing room, she had thought about how to make sure Zhu Li wouldn't change her testimony and how to make sure Yang Wanwan would get what she deserved.
It was only right that Yang Wanwan should die for trying to murder her.
But when she thought of Yang Wanwan's voice screaming desperately over the phone and her vicious cursing, Rong Dai felt a little disoriented. She thought of those imperial concubines from her past life who died in the cold palace like her.
They had harmed others and deserved to die.
But she had also stained her hands with others' blood when she languished and died from heartbreak as the dignified empress of a nation.
Although Huo Shao Ting had guessed her identity, she had never admitted anything about her past life.
She was avoiding it, because she couldn't let go and couldn't face it.
But tonight's events made her realize that she really should let go now.
She had always thought she was trying to survive here in the best and most proper way, whether towards Huo Shao Ting or the Huo family.
Yet she had always held back a part of herself.
With Yang Wanwan's current fate, it was indeed what she deserved.
Rong Dai had given her a chance, but she didn't cherish it.
But now that she thought about it carefully, wasn't it also Heaven's grace that allowed her to be reborn in this afterlife?
She had always been cautiously, fearfully and anxiously trying her best here, for fear that this was Heaven's punishment.
How was this any different from Yang Wanwan's current desperate counterattack?
Because of fear, because of being afraid that disappointment would exceed expectations, she didn't dare to hope.
She had just been unable to let go of herself all this while.
Even if she stated her identity aloud, how many people would actually believe her?
The bizarre things in this world were endless, she was merely one among them.
"Shao Ting, I want to tell you about myself."
She took a sip of red wine and found a comfortable position to lie in before speaking.
Hearing her say this, Huo Shao Ting's slightly furrowed brows relaxed. His voice was gentle as he said, "Don't force yourself, it's fine if I don't know..."
But he was interrupted by Rong Dai before he could finish speaking.
"Shao Ting, it matters to me."
"All this while, I was the one who couldn't let go. I couldn't forgive myself. I was avoiding it. I just wanted to hide in that shell and not come out, so that no one could hurt me."
"But I don't want to become like Yang Wanwan, pushing myself into a desperate situation until I destroy myself one day."
She took a deep breath and looked at the lights outside the window in the night. Her heart was exceptionally calm.
Yang Wanwan had pushed herself into a desperate situation. While there were external factors, she had not spared herself, which led to her downfall.
The ten years she spent suffering in the cold palace in her past life were her punishment of herself.
She needed warmth, a new beginning and a new life.
She had people around her who were warm, and she wanted to be a warm person too.
"That would... also destroy you."
Huo Shao Ting was silent for a few seconds. "I will listen with care, as long as you're willing to say it. But don't force yourself."
He was very happy that she could have this reconciliation with herself.
But at the same time, he was also very worried that if she pushed herself too hard, it would make her feel awful.
"I'm not forcing myself. I just want to tell you, to talk about those things. I've always had a mental block. We're husband and wife."
"You're trying your best to be a good husband. I also want... to try my best to be a good wife to you."
Rong Dai explained with a faint smile.
She took another sip of wine, closed her eyes, and placed the phone on her chest. After taking a few deep breaths, the memories from her past life floated up in her mind.
The details, which she thought would have faded, were actually surprisingly clear in her memory.
Huo Shao Ting didn't interrupt her and just listened quietly, occasionally giving her a soft murmur to indicate he was listening.
Rong Dai rambled on about how she met and got to know the Emperor, going from an imperial concubine to Empress.
Then vying with wit and strategy against those other concubines, the rise and fall of her clan.
Until those last ten years when she languished in the cold palace before finally dying from heartbreak, and appearing in the hospital room in this afterlife.
She recounted everything in great detail.
In the story, there were people who harmed her, and people she had harmed. She didn't avoid anything, and told it all completely.
"Shao Ting, all this while, I believed this was Heaven punishing me, because nothing could be more painful than being alive."
"But I forgot that being alive is also the most beautiful thing."
"With how things were handled with Wen Shi Lan and Zuo Ran previously, I didn't feel much emotional impact. I only felt that they harmed me, so this was the fate they deserved."
"In the past, I always said those concubines who used despicable means to compete for favor were cold-blooded and heartless, using others' blood to warm themselves."
"But Wen Shi Lan and Zuo Ran, while they deserved to die, I was also cold-blooded and heartless enough that I had unknowingly become the same as them."
Rong Dai opened her eyes and looked up at the pitch black ceiling.
The boulder that had been pressing down on her heart all this while disappeared, and she felt extremely relieved.
"Zhu Li said I was warm and kind. Did you know that? It had been a very long time since I last heard those words."
"Those words made me realize that I was still living here with my old self from the past, not truly living."
"Shao Ting, I want to let go now, to truly live, together with you."
Rong Dai picked up her phone and placed a hand on her chest, speaking sincerely.
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