Chapter 565 - [Bonus ]Not Cut Out For It
It was a surprise that Sam invited me to take a walk outside the estate while leaving Law in Fabian's care. Sam told me it was better if I saw nothing to our son. I hesitated, obviously — doubted him even. But… I wanted to believe Sam was being sincere. So, I followed him, walking through the pathway going outside the estate.
It felt strange that despite the matters at hand, he was calm. I glanced at him, catching him staring at the gates with his hand on his back. This was the first time I've seen Sam wear the royal mantle. How? How did he come here so soon? Even if he heard the news an hour after it all started, they would take a few days if they ran like their lives depended on it.
"I didn't stay in the Capital." I snapped my eyes when Sam suddenly spoke, glancing at me and chuckling. "I only stayed there to show my face once and then came back. If they needed anything, I set up a temporary office in the borders between Minowa and the city going to the capital. It's not close, but also it's not too far. Just enough distance not to gather anyone's attention."
"How did you know no one is keeping an eye on the emperor's envoy?"
"There are lots of eyes, wife. That's why I rode using a carriage with no insignia or anything and moved with discretion." Sam cast me a knowing look, giving me enlightenment.
"Then… you've been close for quite some time?" he nodded at my question, so I queried once again. "You also knew that an uprising will happen?"
"Yes, and no. I was uncertain, love. An attack from the west and east. Although that news is concerning, what's even more concerning is how bold it was." Sam peeled his eyes away from me as he gazed ahead. "Zero and Stefan weren't the types of people who will fight me head-on. Although it is smart to attack me from all sides, it's suspicious in itself. What will they gain? Not that they were fighting for honor or for their people since I had been preparing my soldier in marching across Spade."
He slowly cocked his head to me while the side of his lips curled into a smirk. "What those two want is not control over the empire, but my life. And there's only one way to kill me. Do you have any idea what it is?"
"Harming Law?"
"My family," he corrected in a knowing tone, waving his index. "If they harmed Law and you, that is the same as killing me. Although Zero had probably a different motive than Stefan, their desire for my wife is an unchanging fact. Ah… that's pissing me off."
I studied Sam as he rubbed his chin lightly. I bit my lower lip, taking a deep breath as I looked away. There were times I couldn't understand Sam's train of thoughts. He would just do whatever he wanted and even if we're married, he wouldn't tell me everything. Not that I didn't understand his reasoning, but it was… a little unfair.
He had already guessed Minowa would be in danger and yet, he didn't give me a clear heads up. All he had given me was a hint. I was too blinded by the thought of living as a commoner's wife that I didn't dwell on it. Now that I thought about it, I couldn't really blame him, since it was partially my fault for getting blinded by our disguise.
"But I can't believe you will come with Stefan, my wife! Do you still have lingering feelings for him?" he and I frowned at his question, looking at each other dead in the eye. "Just tell me so I can kill him right in front of you."
"I am more appalled that my husband would assume such things than the thought that you will kill anyone I am fond of."
Sam shrugged nonchalantly. "My dearest, I am a simple person. I can't take my eyes off of you for a second because too many men desire you." He then leaned to my side to whisper in my ear.
"You are, after all, the most desirable vampire in the empire."
"Stop it, Sam." He chuckled when I slapped his shoulder lightly. "You're obviously stating that this desirable blood running through my veins is a curse."
"It is a curse!" Sam intoned before tapping his temple. "I told Alexander about it."
This time, I halted and gazed at him. I had forgotten that Sam stole the core from me and the remaining Bloodfang's consciousness was inside his head. That included the consciousness of the Head of the clan and some strong vampires. Now that I thought about it, Sam… was carrying more burden than what it appeared.
My jaw tightened as I looked at him. "It's heavy," came out a whisper, making his brows raise. I took a deep breath, treading carefully as I looked ahead.
"While I was fighting earlier, I realized how hard it is to protect our people. Even if I wanted to protect everyone's lives, I couldn't. Deaths under my command are inevitable — be it enemies or allies, their deaths were all my responsibilities." Sam stopped, but I still sauntered towards the gates. "The second I took up my weapon, I was scared. How will my son see me now? I asked myself just how many more lives do I have to take to finally see the end to it? And things like if only I didn't do something despicable in the past, would this happen in here?"
I paused to breathe, clasping my hand into a fist as I got closer by the gates to see the ongoing battle outside the estate. "All those kinds of things hovered over my head and I realized one thing, Sam."
This time, I halted and pivoted on my heel to face him. Sam had this incomprehensible expression as he raised his brows, gazing at me curiously. I neither smiled nor frown. I just gave him a blank look as I swallowed down a mouthful of saliva.
"I am not someone who deserves the title of the Empress, Sam.. This may sound like cowardice, but… I don't think I am cut out for it."
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