The Butcher of Gadobhra

Brandon woke up with overlapping blue screens in front of his face and Timmy screaming hysterically in his ear about poisoned rat-kin beer. He nearly planted his mace in Timmy's face – but was prevented by a horde of rat-kin appearing from the dungeon portal. Since Timmy took a step back, Brandon bashed in the snout of a rat-kin instead.

Their position was horrible - he could see that right away. They needed out of the basement. "Lori!! Big Flash!! NOW!!"

Lori Lightingale was a Sparkle mage. Her spells dealt in fireworks, glitter, the colors pink and purple, and blinding light. In almost any situation you'd rather have an old-fashioned fire mage rather than someone who belonged in a dance hall conjuring special effects. But she did have a few very useful spells. And the big flash Brandon had just called for was one of them. Lori struck a pose, one arm out to the side, the other straight up, and shouted, "Go for it!" Light filled the entire tavern and the area around it. If you were an ally, things were just really bright. But if you weren't, your eyes exploded and shut down. This was especially true for the dark dwelling rat-kin.

Brandon used Command Voice to get people moving. Some of the idiots were bashing blinded rat-kin, not realizing hundreds more would be pouring through the portal. After a few bashed-in skulls, he got them moving and up to the first floor.

"I want the stairway down sealed! Toss furniture down it, build a barrier. Vostok, Frothing Dan - you two are guarding that exit and keeping it sealed. Tubagirl and David, you're on the front door. Joeseph and Lootmaster, go handle the kitchen door. Rogues and Ranger, get up on the windows and roofs and give me a status report."

He turned to Timmy, "And you, Mr. Dungeon Keeper, can tell me what the hell is going on. You said you had that under control!"

Timmy was hurting bad and trying to concentrate. His mana was bottomed out and his stamina was low. The rat-kin poison was nasty stuff. His poison resistance was still gaining EP. He was lucky he wasn't dead. Joseph had hit him with a Purify spell, but some of the poison seemed to linger in defiance of the healing magic. And he shouldn't be drunk and hung-over at the same time. It wasn't fair - he only drank so much because he didn't get hangovers! Damn those evil Rats! And now Brandon was yelling at him like it was his fault!

"I don't know! I checked it! It was at under half the whole week since we went inside. And it was going down tonight! When we went to fight the Daemons, it was actually at 0%. This isn't something I did."

Brandon wasn't letting him off easy, "And yet it happened. For all we know killing those Daemons let something loose. Seven Hells, but I hate magic. Never makes any sense at all! Did you check it after the fight?"

Timmy hadn't. He'd been on a high after the fight; lots of EP, Core Skill Points, a successful quest. He was a great hero. Suzette was so happy with him all night and told him so several times. And everyone had been enjoying the beer and having a victory party. How was he supposed to keep track of a dungeon during a party?

"Uh, no. It wasn't important at the time."

Brandon sneered, "Timmy didn't think it was important so he forgot. You were spending too much time leering at all the female players and that barmaid. Speaking of which, what's this about poisoned beer. Did the little bitch do it?"

Timmy got angry at those words, "Leave her alone! She had nothing to do with it. The beer came from downstairs, I saw the barrels. It was left by the rat-kin. They knew they were attacking and sabotaged us!"

"And where is the poor, innocent little barmaid now?"

Timmy looked around and didn't see Suzette. That was bad. He needed to protect her!

Lori came running down from the upper floors. "Guys! Guys! Come look! It's so cool! Suzette is dancing on the battlements of the barracks and taunting the rat-kin! It looks so awesome."

The three of them went upstairs to a window with a view of the barracks. Hundreds of rat-kin were coming out of tunnels in the ground, and filling the town. Suzette was on the top of the barracks wall, leaping and spinning from one crenelation to the next, floating at times, surrounded by a sparkling aura of hundreds of fireflies. The few spears or arrows tossed her way missing the fast-moving apparition.

Timmy's jaw dropped. Brandon’s, of course, did not.

                      =*=

As dawn broke and the first rays of light shone down on the battlements of Rowan Keep, a gaggle of very tired junior paladins arrived, escorted by four of the senior brothers. Senior Brother Eustace had a bad knee that was acting up, so he had elected to come mounted. Senior Brower Towers had decided that it just wouldn't do to have three Senior Brothers trudging on foot, making Senior Brother Eustace stand out. All the Senior Brothers had mounted their chargers and escorted the twelve junior brothers who ran along side of them.

Junior Brother Sundiver expressed his colleague’s feelings, quietly of course, "This is bullshit, why the hell are we running for two days!"

Junior Brother Bartholomew answered, mostly because he liked to wind Sundiver up a bit, "It's conditioning. We got fat and lazy sitting around waiting to continue onward. And of course, time is of the essence when evil stirs." He said the last part sounding almost exactly like Senior Brother Otto.

Sundiver made a rude noise, "If time was of the essence, why did we sit around so long getting fat?!"

"Well, Senior Brother Towers was concerned that we didn't have horses, and Senior Brother Eustace has a bad knee, and Senior Brother Otto thought the roads might be in poor shape from the autumn rains, and Senior Brother Thomas likes the way the leaves turn colors in that town and was loathe to leave until they dropped. There really is a reason for everything if you look for it, Sundiver."

Sundiver massaged his aching calves. Marching double-time in heavy armor was torture.

Senior Brother Towers came riding up, his horse scattering mud and other things as it slid to a neat stop. "Rejoice brethren, for Evil is afoot. And that's Evil capitalized, not normal evil."

"Inquisitor Diego has told me of some remarkable occurrences in a nearby town which borders on the secret location of the ancient fortress-city of Gadobhra."

"Firstly: A suspicious civil war has broken out among the populace despite the emperor, long may he live, sending one of his best generals to quell it."

"Secondly: A mysterious stampede of cows was seen rampaging around the land, led by a ghostly doom bull ridden by the Devil himself."

"Thirdly: Deer have been heard talking and men are acting like dogs."

"Fourthly: Strange lights and explosions from the heavens manifested just last night."

"Fifthly: A beacon of hellish fire was lit spewing fire to the heavens."

"Sixthly: Local maidens were plied with drink and their cloths stolen."

"And I want my kilt back," came a shout from a window where said maidens were recovering.

"And lastly, a dungeon has overflowed and the town is beset by hundreds of marauding rat-kin. Never in my days have the signs been so clear as to where we should be going. Mount up! We have rats to slay."

Sundiver just shook his head and started walking, "Mount up he says. Can we at least have some hobby horses to pretend with."

Senior Brother Towers turned and smiled, "Sorry lad, that would be undignified, if fun. Maybe at the next spring picnic we'll have races. But fear not, for Inquisitor Diego has a pair of coconut halves that he will employ to help you keep pace."

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