The Butcher of Gadobhra

Sedgewick was used to odd things happening. One day, it might be an invading army of squirrels, and the next could be a drinking contest between six goblins and a guild of human adventurers. Today was calmer, simply a wagon train carrying barrels of gold guarded by Fae Warriors, Gnomish Strike groups, and a Sphynx. Banker Coppertwist led the way, opening the doors of his bank for business. His first customer was Prince Ragothorn, who brought with him forty-nine barrels of gold coins representing the ransom of seven Fae Princes. One by one, the Banker sealed and numbered the barrels for shipment to Cinderstein, where the coins would be counted and polished.

A crowd of people had assembled in the square to watch the affair but drew back as the Sphynx entered the town square and lay down in the center. She watched as her 176 barrels of gold were brought from the wagons and deposited to her account, opened just that morning. Hordes of coins were for dragons. Princess Sahkmet preferred her treasures to be in a safe place where adventurers and tomb robbers couldn't reach them.

When all of the gold was accounted for, three very nervous gnomes came forward pulling small wagons holding enchanted barrels holding three Weapons of Magical Destruction. These were credited to the Royal Gnomish Bank of Sedgewick and immediately teleported to the main bank in Cinderstein. As they disappeared, the ground seemed to vibrate. Banker Coppertwist was writing in his account books and looked up with a smile. "Just enough." He took out his pocket watch, checked the time, and ensured it was in sync with the clock tower above his back. By now, all the gnomes were staring and holding their breath. Tiberius held up his watch by its chain, watching it spin and change color from gold to silver. Likewise, the key to his bank was also now gold. He put the key in the door and turned. Somehow, the building grew three sizes bigger yet still fit between its neighbors. Hinges, doorknobs, and every single nail took on a golden shine to match the hands of the clock in the tower. Banker Coppertwist turned to the waiting crowd and bowed halfway, accepting their applause.

Then he spoke. "The Bank is now open but will close in one hour. I have an important dinner to attend. We will be open for regular hours the rest of the week."

Rumors flew around the gnomish capital of Cinderstein, with much of the truth too outlandish to be believed. Tales of mythical beasts, huge battles, and war with the Fae Lords flew from banks to libraries and anywhere else that gnomes gathered to drink heavily and talk politics. While much of it was disputed with little proof, four things could be proven:

-A joint force of Lawyers and Bankers armed to the teeth had made a combat assault into the heart of Fae territory.

-A Duchess of the Fae, arguably one of their most powerful mages, had been declared a war criminal and destroyed.

-Fae gold was flowing like a river into the main horde, along with artifacts with a value so high they were hammering out more zeros.

-The King himself was hosting a grand feast to celebrate the ascension of two of the Coppertwist Clan because nowhere else was big enough.

The King's Heralds had proclaimed the news throughout the city that Lawyer Coppertwist was ascending to the 8th Tier, and Tiberius Coppertwist had become the youngest Banker in history to gain his gold watch. Besides the clan itself and all their sub-clans and extended relatives out to 11th cousins and Uncles seven times removed, the top thousand nobles, Bankers, and Lawyers in the realm had been invited. The palace had received a thousand times that many requests to be included; all had been returned. Royal Guards were stationed outside the Coppertwist Clan House to keep back the crowds. But one group was being difficult, and the guards were having a rough time keeping them back.

Word of Tiberius Coppertwist's gold watch had gotten out immediately, and mothers across the city and far beyond were converging on the Coppertwist clan, eligible daughters in tow. Who would claim the prized bachelor was a topic of much drinking in the beer halls and banks, but all agreed: His days of being a footloose and fancy-free bachelor had come to an end. Despite the upcoming event, Hibernia Coppertwist was in the parlor, accepting visitors and giving each mother their three minutes to introduce their daughter, present their letters of recommendation, and leave a small gift for the family. Arranging marriages was the serious work of women, and the menfolk knew to keep clear.

Tiberius was not present, except for his watch, uncontested proof of his promotion to Gold Banker. Behind Hibernia was a large mural showing the terrible armies of the Fae led by King Oberon, and on the other side of a flimsy fence stood a small but courageous force of gnomish guardsmen who sought to protect their clients huddled behind them. On the fence itself stood Tiberius, a list of demands in one hand and the other held stiffly in front of him toward the High King of the Fae, as if by his will alone, he held back an army. A gold plaque proclaimed the title Tiberius at the Gate. The paint had been almost dry when the first guest was let into the parlor.

Hibernia's latest guest was just leaving. She had come with a lovely daughter and a beautiful gift but only five letters of recommendation. She had been horrified when Hibernia had insisted on a minimum of seven letters, one of which simply had to be from a Lawyer and another from a noble of the rank of Baron or above. "I'm sure you understand, Portia dearest, that I must safeguard my son's future. He is a brave but delicate boy who throws all his energy into his work. He needs the correct wife to accompany him through life and see to his needs. The life of a Gold Banker in the heart of the realm is fraught with peril from politics to picking the correct tie."

Portia was aghast at her faux pas but carried on the best she could, presenting her lovely daughter. "So it's true? Will they be bringing him home to take over the 9th Street bank? Well and good. Old Mathian needs to retire and play with his great-great-great-nephews. He's blind as a bat and has to check the coins by chewing on them. Congratulations, dear, your boy will do splendidly. And take your time choosing a proper wife for him, would you?" They bowed and smiled as she and her daughter left. Hibernia expected the next applicant immediately, but there was a pause in the flow. She knew there were more to come. Indeed, the line was getting longer and longer. She didn't correct Portia's bad information about Tiberius's plans. While he had been offered a bank here in the capital, he knew better than to take it. What he was building in Sedgewick was far more prestigious. And such

She had only two applicants so far that met her standards. Saretha Argyle was from a successful law firm, even though she had yet to argue a case before the high court. Her family wasn't in the hundred richest, but family mattered in these cases more than wealth. However, wealth was nice, too, especially for a Banker. Felice McScrunge came from a family so rich they had to rent out space in other families' hordes to hold all of their gold. Their gift had been a solid gold statue of their founder, Scrungey McScrunge. Hibernia was going to melt it down for buttons if she didn't choose Felice.

Her butler entered and bowed low; he seemed red in the face with a black eye, a pronounced limp, and, shockingly, his coat showed wrinkles. Still, his voice was steady as he announced the next applicant. "Madame Hibernia, I am forced to be pleased to announce that Helga of Hardstone Vale, Daughter of Hilda and Granddaughter of Hildegard, is here to present herself for consideration of marriage." He turned and limped quickly away.

Hibernia asked him a question before he left, "How many more applicants, Frederick?"

"Just this one, ma'am. All the others are leaving. Take a look outside, please." Hibernia did. Where there had been an orderly line before, with dowagers and matrons jockeying for position and waiting their turn, it now looked like a battle had been fought. Stretchers were carrying off the wounded, and seamstresses and hairdressers had been called in to repair the damage.

"What happened, Frederick?!" She was horrified that a brawl had broken out.

"I have it on good account, ma'am, that some people need to mind their own business and not laugh at some other people's freckles. But what do I know."

Into the room walked a girl who could have been from any of the Law Firms or Banks the Coppertwist Clan owned. Her clothes were clean but inexpensive, in a style preferred by stenographers. She had dark brown hair that refused to be tamed, a tanned face, and too many freckles. Hibernia couldn't help but think of the difference between her and every other girl that had been presented to her. She walked into the room confidently and bowed. "My ma is too busy with the harvest and too far away, so I'm presenting myself if you don't mind. I plan to marry your son."

Hibernia sighed. "What do you bring to this marriage, Helga of Hardstone Vale? And yes, I know where that is and how far away."

Helga shrugged. "My family has no influence at court and no money. I've got enough to buy a cup of tea. But that doesn't matter. I'm going to marry that boy. He needs someone strong at his back, not some pretty thing that faints at the sight of a charging army." She nodded her head at the painting.

"Ah, you were there? It must have been thrilling."

The girl smiled. "Oh, it was. I got to pound a pretty elf captain into the dirt. My mama will be so proud of that, and Daddy's armor didn't take a scratch."

"Ah, you're the one. Tiberius has been telling stories of you. You put him on that fence."

Helga nodded. "I sure did. And I'll pave the way for him and back him up in anything else he sets his mind to."

Tiberius's mother sighed. The girl had the right attitude but no money and no family. "I'm sorry, but there are rules for this sort of thing. The absence of your mother is understood, and the disparaging of freckles is something every one of good breeding should know not to do. Still, it is traditional to bring a gift and a letter of recommendation. Several, actually."

Helga nodded. "Expected that, and rules are important." She pulled something out of her pocket. The ring was gold with a diamond the size of a small bird's egg. She handed it to Hibernia. "That came off the Fae King's finger in thanks for my help straightening things out. And I have some letters."

She handed Hibernia a stack of papers, hastily written, in the last day.

A page of white parchment expressed gratitude from King Oberon and offered her a position in his Royal Guard if she ever wished to return to his realm.

Formal letters from Prince Ragothorn and Elgebert Coppertwist expressed their gratitude and confidence in her, wishing her the best in whatever she chose. In Elgebert's small, spidery handwriting was a note in the margins. Grab this one. If I were even a few centuries younger, I'd be asking my wives to add her to my family.

Commander Tarragon of the Royal Fae Guard attested to her skill in combat and her graciousness in their duel.

There were letters from other notable people known to her family, all with interesting titles that spoke of important connections:

Countess Suzette of Silverthorn Glade

Captain Ozymandias Ship Breaker

Roland, Lord of Ducks and Knight of Typhon

Benjamin Franklin, the 7th, of House Franklin

Princess Squirmie of the Hive

And a strange one from Princess Sahkmet of Aethiopia asked the question, "What prevails? A house built of steel or one of glitter?"

She read through the letters twice and thought how lovely this ring would look on her finger. Maybe she could start a fad for wearing Fae jewelry and drive her friends into bankruptcy. "Have you discussed your wishes with my son?"

Helga blushed. "Well, we looked at each other a couple of times, but he's a shy one. Truth be told, ma'am, I'd take him if he only had a copper key or was selling insurance on the streets. That gold watch just polishes up what was already there."

"I see. Well, Helga of Hardstone Veil, I see no reason to discuss his marriage with him. He'll understand. I'll admit that I was getting tired of the endless stream of hopefuls and was only doing it for the gifts at this point. I'm glad to be done, and I can't wait to show off this lovely ring. Why don't we go upstairs and find you suitable attire for a battle-tested stenographer? I think it only appropriate that you are escorted tonight by Lawyer Coppertwist, and I'll announce your engagement to Tiberius tonight."

"Thank you, ma'am. Tiberius will enjoy a formal wedding." Her plan B had involved absconding with him aboard a stolen airship, but this was simpler.

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