The Butcher of Gadobhra

The King met the party of travelers at the border, where the Silverthorn Gates had been replaced by a simple white picket fence, notably without a gate, which, of course, was not simply a fence but the actual boundary between two Fae Realms. Oberon stood ten feet behind the fence. Five feet behind him were a row of his royal guard in enchanted plate armor with spear and shield. Four further rows of pikemen backed up these twenty soldiers, the entire formation forming a deadly kill pocket for anyone who tried to climb the fence or threaten the king. The pike formation was marred by the presence of the Sphynx sitting to one side. She ignored the royal guard as they formed and glared at them. No one had asked her to move, and she was happy where she was.

"Greetings, travelers from the mortal realm. I have observed your negotiations with Duchess Midnight and applaud your attempt at dealing with her in what mortals call 'good faith.' I believe that you tried to end negotiations amicably. Her attack on what was thought to be a Hound was observed by all of us, as was the ensuing battle with Duchess Midnight, once a member of my court and now former ruler of the lands where you walk. While not all of those who rule lands in my Kingdom will agree with your escalation of events, none can argue that the outcome was not in your favor."

The King paused, and the travelers stayed silent, preparing for a long speech, except for a small giggle from the butterfly.

"We must converse for a bit before you may pass over the border into the common lands or to any other part of the realms. There are complications and nuances which, being strangers to these lands, you may be unaware of. You have already experienced misunderstandings and events that led to a great battle. I'm sure we all wish to avoid such an event happening again."

The mortals looked at each other but said nothing. The shepherd petted the wings of the butterfly. The gnome stood straight with his hands behind his back, waiting with a smile on his face that didn't go to his eyes. The barmaid's smile was as radiant as her hair as she looked from one person in the crowd to the next. The Courier held his tongue, barely, with many words held in check.

And the Butcher pulled out another cigar, lit it, and blew out a perfect smoke ring that sailed into the air and floated away over the tumbled hills of the broken realm.

Oberon had dealt with mortals before and had expected at least one of them to immediately begin talking if only to explain their perception of events. Did they think they didn't have permission to speak? Their silence was interesting and made many of his court tense. Silence often preceded something happening.

"You may speak if you wish, and we can discuss the paths of your next journey and how it may happen."

Ozzy took out his cigar, flicked the ashes to the barren ground, and smiled slightly. "We want to go home. You don't want to let us pass. If you don't mind, we have someone coming who can help us with this dilemma." The gnome smiled in anticipation.

Oberon felt the gateway forming but allowed it to happen. The new arrival would appear behind the group of travelers and was weak in raw power. He wondered who they could have summoned but remembered that the Butcher was known to the human Emperor and a minion of the Baron of Gadobhra. There was also the gnome to factor in. That proved to be the correct answer as a portal formed just long enough to disgorge a young gnome with uncombed hair and a banker's coat thrown over flannel pajamas. He stepped forward, running a hand through his hair to slick it back, and stepped up beside the Butcher.

He bowed correctly to Oberon and then spoke in his loudest voice. "I am Banker Coppertwist of the Royal Gnomish Bank of Sedgewick. I understand you have business with several of my best customers, and I am here to help negotiate."

There were smirks and laughter from some of the Fae watching from behind the rows of soldiers. The gnome heard them but pretended not to. The Butcher shook hands with his banker. The barmaid did as well and spoke, "Thank you so much for coming here so quickly. I'm sure we can settle this matter with your help." The Banker stood taller and looked at the King confidently, but the situation changed once again before he could speak.

This time, Oberon barely had time to notice the intrusion into the fae realms and couldn't have stopped it without a vast use of his power. Midnight's barriers were crumbling, and the holy fire had smashed through them, leaving a gaping hole. The high-powered teleport spell was unimpeded as it impacted at three spots behind the Butcher and his group. Lightning bolts struck, and thunder rolled away as three gnomish strike squads formed. Behind them was a group of bankers bearing clipboards, abacuses, and three enchanted barrels. Commanding the strike squads was a full Captain of the Royal Gnomish Guards.

This alone would have caused the Elvish Guard to tighten their formation and prepare to defend the border, but something worse came with them. A Lawyer walked forward in full court regalia. His smile was that of an eager dragon going to battle and sure of his place at the top of the food chain. He motioned for the strike teams to hold their ground and strode to the front, where he purposefully chose to ignore Oberon and greet others first.

"My, I'm getting slow in my old age. You were the first to arrive, Banker Coppertwist. Well done, I say, well done." The younger gnome beamed at the appreciation.

"And thank you, Butcher Ozzy and Miss Suzette, for once again putting your faith in me and my firm. I appreciate the little opportunities you throw my way. Please allow me to introduce you today to my assistant, Helga.

If Helga was shell-shocked by her sudden addition to the strike team and subsequent deployment, she didn't show it as she was introduced to their clients. Despite the size difference, the Butcher warmly shook hands with her, sparing her fingers. She looked at Banker Coppertwist, noted both the family resemblance and the pajamas, and smiled widely. She shook his hand as well. The barmaid, Suzette, took both of her hands and smiled, "So good to meet you, and thank you for coming."

The Lawyer turned and looked at the troops arrayed behind the King of the Fae and the general chaos of the situation. "Things may progress quickly. Helga, if you would allow Tiberius to escort you behind the strike teams, I would feel more confident of your survival.

There was a small pause, and then the young woman looked up at the Lawyer several centuries her senior and glared at him. "If you think, sir, that I took all those courses in Combat Stenography to sit mildly out of a fight, you are mistaken. You chose me as your assistant, and I'm staying right here to be of assistance." She held her notebook in one hand and a very dangerous pen in the other with an attitude that wasn't to be argued with.

No less stubborn was the Banker. "I'm terribly sorry to disagree, Lawyer Coppertwist, but my client requested my assistance. I was on-site first, and nothing will discourage me from doing my job." He placed both hands on the lapels of his jacket for emphasis. "The Royal Gnomish Bank of Sedgewick does not back away from a fight, nor does its banker!"

Elgebert Coppertwist was rarely told no, and certainly not twice within the span of a few seconds by two gnomes whose age together was less than a tenth of his own. But in this case, he was proud and happy to see that the steel that ran through the gnomish race was not lacking in the younger generation. He turned and glanced at Prince Ragothorn, who smiled and nodded to him, also pleased.

"Very well then, I am happy to have both of you by my side. And now, let us confront this problem and see what we can do about it." He turned to the King of the Fae and bowed. "Greetings, Your Majesty; I am Elgebert Coppertwist of the Law firm Coppertwist, Fellrock, Kindfeld, and Bumplasonek. I have been informed of a dispute you may have with my clients. Could you please state the nature of the problem as you see it?"

From the Fae side of the fence came gasps and a rattling of swords at such blunt speech directed at the King. For his part, Oberon waved a hand behind him negligently, and the murmurs quieted.

"The situation is quite complicated, more so, I must say, by the appearance of gnomes armed with weapons and lawyers weaponizing words."

The Lawyer smiled. "Ah, but those are complications on your side of the fence. And it is a poorly trained lawyer who comes to a confrontation unarmed. From where my clients are standing, things look much brighter. And did this entire affair not start because a Duchess made a poor decision and then compounded that fault by mangling words and trampling upon her guest's rights of travel? A brisk discussion where the truth is laid bare with plain talk will have us all home in time for dinner."

Oberon was more careful of his words than normal. "That is one way to look at it. There are other perspectives and complications. One of which is a dead Duchess. Surely you understand that questions must be asked and answers found?"

Elgebert paused and cleaned his glasses, then shrugged and continued. "I'm surprised you even wish to bring the deceased Duchess into the conversation, but very well. Let me summarize:

1. The Duchess known as Midnight did, with forethought and malice intended, lure Prince Ragothorn of the Gnomish Court to a dinner where his body was murdered and his soul imprisoned for several hundred years in an artifact known as The Ivory Soul Trap.

2. Duchess Midnight did this with the urgings of seven members of the High Fae who wished to instigate a war between the Court of Oberon and the City of Cinderstein in the hopes of increased profits and flights of fancy that your realm would be victorious. In any event, they would gain much from selling the enchanted weapons needed by the lesser fae to wage war.

3. When the plot was brought to light by Lady Mourninglade and several members of the conspiracy were apprehended, Duchess Midnight had them poisoned to seal their voices. The scheme went underground, resulting in Prince Ragothorn being held captive, unable to return to the cycle of life for many centuries.

4. Duchess Midnight, when...." He paused, looking at the Fae King.

"I'm sorry. Did you have something to say, your majesty?"

Oberon had always wondered about the curious affair and the whereabouts of the lost prince. An unsolved mystery was always a good topic of discussion. But it seemed such an ugly thing when laid out in this fashion. He had started to speak but now thought better of it. "No, please, continue. The Duchess is dead; let's get this out of the way, and as you say, go home to dinner."

"As you will:

4. Duchess Midnight, when first meeting Captain Ozzy, made an error in assuming he was the full owner of the Smokejammer, Splinter. When she later heard of the trade agreement between the Captain of the ship, the Baron of Gadobhra, and Alwyn, The Lord of Summer, she erred in assuming her brief discussion with Captain Ozzy constituted a breach of trade and a personal affront to her dignity. Instead of doing due diligence to ascertain the true facts, she held a grudge based on ignorance.

5. Rather than discuss said grudge when given the chance, she instead invited Alwyn and his party on a mission of mercy to restore Prince Leporidon, into her domain. But then, through a ploy of wordage, she refused to allow Suzette, the lonely Barmaid, to leave her estate. Demands were made to have Captain Ozzy present herself.

6. Complying with the demands based on ignorance and laziness on her part, Captain Ozzy traveled the fae lands and, indeed, was welcomed. No one had a problem with his entering these lands, and nothing was said to him at all by Your Majesty or your court or your messengers.

7. Captain Ozzy complied with the Baroness's wishes and challenges, which normally would have seen him rewarded with his lady love. Instead, he had to negotiate. During negotiations, the Baroness demanded that he give over two Legendary Artifacts into her keeping. Captain Ozzy complied.

8. While the bargain had been struck and Captain Ozzy and Suzette should have been allowed to leave, the Baroness, in a fit of anger, insisted he retain the objects, which he took back—again, ending negotiations.

9. As clearly stated by the Baroness herself, she attempted to kill a Hound that she assumed belonged to Lord Alwyn with the expressed purpose of causing him pain—a blunt assault on the sanctity of Hounds. Luckily, the Hound in question was actually Princess Squirmie of the Hive, aiding the Butcher in his brave quest to rescue his lady love. The princess took offense at the blatant attack; at that point, things got messy, and she died.

10. As the aggressor, the mortals cannot be blamed for defending themselves, even to the death of the Duchess. In a spectacular display of ingenuity and forethought, Suzette had armed herself with the Duchess's letter opener, which was revealed to be the Ivory Soul Prison containing the essence of Prince Ragothorn. This concluded the battle with the dual benefit of effectively slaying their foe while releasing a prisoner long held by her. How strange that know one in your realm has known a thing about he disappeared all those long years ago."

"I believe that covers things in a brief manner." The lawyer quit speaking and looked at the king, who was deep in thought."

Minutes ticked by with the only sound that of his stenographer's pen as she wrote furiously in her notebook.

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