The Butcher of Gadobhra

From inside the burning building came screams of rage and pain. The assembled butchers and apprentices backed away from the heat. Ozzy strode toward the closed doors, preparing to break in, when one of them pushed open from the inside, and a man with his clothes on fire staggered out. Stavros was badly burned and in pain. Ozzy grabbed him as he went by and pulled all the heat from around his body, instantly extinguishing the flames. Ozzy carried him away from the fire and set him down on the cobblestones.

"Healer here, I've got him!" Seven members of the Order of Heracles had arrived. Three clustered around the burned man, and one signaled the closest tavern keeper for a round of beer. With the burned man in the hands of someone that could help, Ozzy ran back to the burning warehouse, only to have Myrna run into him as she raced out of the building carrying a bucket. "Fat Fingers! Hurry! Save Myrna's shinies from thieves and fire!"

Ozzy started into the warehouse. "You're OK?"

Myrna hissed in anger. "Not OK. Nasty human thief kicked Myrna and woke her up. Will hunt down and eat!" She looked at the crowd around Stavros and clarified. "Eat when not so many other pesky humans around. Grill him slowly with onions and black beans. Rub horseradish up his nose. Kick him until he's tender!"

"Sounds like a plan; I'll go get the wagon." Ozzy made a mental note not ever to piss Myrna off.

His wagon was in good shape. The smoke-infused wood was fire-resistant, and with Myrna on the grill he had used a fire-proof awning purchased from the local merchants. Unbothered by the smoke and heat inside the warehouse, it only took him a moment to pull his wagon out of the inferno and into the courtyard.The wooden buckets in the back looked charred, and the coins were hot. He pulled the heat from them before they melted. More and more people were coming to see the fire, but Ozzy didn't see anyone moving close to help fight it. Stavros looked much better, but he started screaming at the butcher when he saw Ozzy bringing the wagon out.

"You! This is your fault! My building is on fire!"

The Butcher tried not to smile. "You stole my wagon and attacked my boss, who happened to be sleeping in the back of the wagon, after a hard night's work feeding soldiers. Didn't you know that kobolds can breathe fire? What the hell did you think would happen when you kidnapped her, assaulted her, and tried to steal her money? You caused this; you can find a water mage to extinguish the fire."

The angry man stood up and approached Ozzy, still screaming, which was proof to many of the people watching that he was not right in the head. "You owe me for my warehouse and my stock. I'll sue you in the Duke's courts and imprison you until you pay."

Ozzy considered the large stone warehouse with a burning roof. "Yeah? And how much would that be? I'm a bit low on cash right now, seeing as how I had to catch of my local Butchers Guild's back dues. But go ahead, tell me what you think your building and contents are worth. And a word of advice, that singed banner hanging from the front of the wagon was awarded to me by the Duchess just recently. The Duke's Court may not be as friendly as you think, especially after an angry kobold presses charges against you and your gang of wagon thieves."

Stavros yelled out angrily "Ten Thousand gold pieces and not copper coin less!"

Ozzy whistled and looked over at Abelard. "What's your opinion, Guild Master? Is that a fair price for that chunk of land, and what's on it? Seems a bit inflated."

Abelard stroked his beard and considered. "There is considerable stock of lower-grade meat inside, and the building is in a prime location and on desirable land. There is a good chance of a local court siding with Stavros. On the other hand, the value of the meat is diminished once it turns into charcoal, and the building will take a considerable amount of repairs. Which Stavros might have to pay of the Duchess weighs in on the situation. I'd rather not see a fight between butchers go to court. Only the lawyers win."

The Butcher nodded. He casually turned to Stavros. "I'll give you five thousand for it all, paid today, either in hard coin or bank transfer."

"You're insane! Only five thousand?! I said Ten!"

Ozzy started counting on his fingers. "One, the building is worth less every second. Oh, sure, you can sue for value, but I'm offering you a sale. Two: Courts are tricky, and I'll warn you that I have one damn fine lawyer. Three: Lawyers fees and assorted rebuilding permits will eat away at anything you get from me. You might end up with less than seven thousand. And four: I can walk home to Gadobhra, tell you to piss up a rope, and Myrna and I will sue you in the Baron's Court for theft and assault. But that's up to you."

Stavros looked at the building, belching smoke and flame. An inquiry would show far less burnt meat and far more empty barrels than he'd like. And the fire brigade on the way would want to be paid immediately. "Nine Thousand, and I want a bank transfer to the Butcher's Guild. I'm not chancing hard coin with all the thieves in this city."

Ozzy nodded. "Yes, I've heard the area has a theft problem. Six Thousand. Last offer. Turn it down, and I'm going to walk back to where an apple pie is waiting for me." Vandalis, nearby, heard his words and had a moment of guilt. He sent off one of his sons with a message to Doris to make sure a second pie was on the table.

Stavros looked around, finding only people watching a fire and a Guild Master who shrugged and spread his hands in a gesture that said, "This is your problem to handle."

One more look at the inferno was all it took. "Seven thousand and I will be done with you. But I want the money now!"

Ozzy stuck out his hand. "I'll transfer it as soon as you shake on the deal." Stavros shook, his hand looking like a child's. He grimaced as Ozzy flexed enough muscles to grind his tender bones together.Seven Thousand gold was transferred from The Gnomish Bank of Wolfsburg to The Butcher's Guild of Wolfsburg. "Thanks for doing business. Excuse me while I go look at my building."

Vandalis yelled to Ozzy. "I have sent for a Sea Sorcerer and a Weather Worker; we will help you save what we can."

The Butcher smiled back. "I appreciate it. I'll see what I can do for now." He walked to the doorway of the burning building and held up his hand. A huge, ornate pole arm appeared. It glowed red-hot with waves of heat radiating off of it."

Vandalis stared at the weapon, recognizing it as an unusual type of wizard's staff. He turned to Eliza, "Look at the head of the weapon; there is a mark there that shows our new friend, Ozzy, is an artisan in the service of the Goddess, Artemis. I find that very curious, and it makes me happy we didn't press him harder. She is very protective of her people." Eliza nodded, agreeing with him. They and several others came close to watch what the Butcher did.

Ozzy planted the butt of his Ancient Billhook of Entwined Fates on the ground. "Time to get to work, Chainy." The tattoo of chains on his arm slithered to the Billhook and wrapped around it several times, then a half dozen black chains attached to the burning warehouse or slithered inside. Ozzy started to pull the heat from the building.

There was a lot of heat! "Dammit, Myrna! Did you have to set the whole place on fire?" Myrna didn't answer the question. She was dancing on top of the wagon, high on too much Mage's Delight and worshiping the fire, as any proper kobold would. Ozzy strained against the fire, cooling stone and wood and transferring the Heat to his Pit in Sedgewick. Chainy was enjoying itself. Ozzy got the distinct feeling the Daemon thought this was a game of tug-of-war, and it was determined to win.

After a minute, the flames started to diminish. Smoke poured from the doors and disappeared when it got to Ozzy. Another minute and the fire was extinguished, and the interior was cold and dark. The watching adventurers clapped loudly. Ozzy leaned against his pole arm for a moment, then straightened up. A fire brigade showed up and, finding their job was done already, headed to the tavern.

Ozzy approached Guild Master Abelard.

"I've got a favor to ask of you and a business deal. I suddenly own quite a few charred barrels of meat and other contents of my warehouse. If you sell it for me, at whatever price will move it fast, I'll split it with you 50-50."

Abelard liked that deal. He'd make a few inquiries but was sure he could shift the damaged stock to other butchers in the surrounding buildings and pocket a nice fee. "Consider it done. What are your plans for the building? It will take extensive repairs. The fire was brief, but the interior is ruined, and some of the roof will need replacing."

"I'll have a crew here within a couple of days to start on the work. As for a business, I need a good warehouse and a small butcher shop here in Wolfsburg. This will do nicely. I've had some orders come in lately, and I think the city could use a steady supply of my sausage." He showed Abelard an order for 1000 barrels of Sedgewick Sausage. The signature and embossed emblem was not lost on the old Guild Master.

"Ah, yes. I see. I see. Well, welcome to Wolfsburg, Butcher Ozzy. You are officially registered with all dues paid, and I see a special dispensation from the Duchess on the side of your wagon. I don't foresee any problems with you taking over that location and opening up. There's never enough sausage in this town."

Stavros was only just now realizing what this meant to him. "Wait, that's my place of business. You can't just steal my business."

Ozzy grinned at him. "I didn't steal it. I bought it. You agreed to the price. I bought the building and everything in it. And let's be clear: If I catch you stealing from me, sabotaging my business, or mistreating a kobold, I will find you and rip off your arms before I turn you into sausage. Do you understand me?"

Stavros turned white and trembled. Myrna growled at him from on top of the wagon, and her tail swished back and forth aggressively. He looked around at the people nearby, not finding anyone sympathetic to his plight. Seven thousand gold was a lot of money to pay for a burning building, and everyone had witnessed the deal. The man nodded once, then turned and walked off to find someone to complain to.

Ozzy stretched and yawned. "I'm tired, Myrna. Long night, let's get a piece of pie and go home."

She looked affronted. "Shopping, Fat-Fingers. We go shopping now!"

Ozzy sighed. "Guess I'll grab that pie to go, then." He shook hands with Abelard and some of the Order. "Nice meeting you folks. Hopefully, you come to visit us in Sedgewick. I'll stop by for another visit when we start rebuilding in a few days. But it looks like the boss wants to go do some shopping now." He picked up the yoke of his wagon and walked back up the street, heading to wherever Myrna wanted to go. Behind, people went back to work or back to breakfast. In his tavern, Vassily was serving beer and platters of breakfast to his early morning patrons as fast as he could. Business was booming.

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