The Butcher of Gadobhra

"How the hell do you get into trouble so fast, Woodrat? You were barely half a minute ahead of me!" The other derelict ships they had explored had been easy to climb into. Sargasso weed had grown up the hulls and provided handholds or the damage and rot had provided a way inside. Not this ship. The sides were mostly devoid of weed and what there was had been charred to a crisp. Ozzy had resorted to a running start and leaping to grab the railing and pull himself aboard. Somehow in that small slice of time Woodrat had not only found some sort of cyclone, but had pissed it off.

The cold green eyes turned towards Ozzy. He saw small flashes of lightning in the whirling white smoke. The creature didn't immediately attack, and he wondered if that meant there was a chance to retreat, or if it was just taking its time killing them. Ozzy had spent enough time around Joe to get a feeling for how truly powerful he was. If this creature was the same, they were in trouble. Despite how well they got along, there had been times Joe got annoyed with him, and when that happened a small spike of fear made it through Endure. It only lasted a moment and then the facade of the helpful old man made out of smoke would slip back in place. But for that instant Ozzy had sensed a much more powerful creature in front of him.

Woodrat stood, straightened his hat and winked at Ozzy. "Purely accidental. I went to see what I could see and I found a lovely bottle of Deadeye Red whiskey sitting on a table with a clean flagon next to it. An obvious invitation to take a sip. I opened it up to toast my new ship, and she came out. Angry from the start. And worst of all, there was no whiskey in the bottle! Just this little swirly missy."

The wind roared as the tornado spun faster. It turned from Woodrat and Ozzy, then back to the captain.

"Get off my ship, or die!"

Woodrat shook his head. "No, I don't think so. If this was your ship, you wouldn't have been in that bottle."

As soon as he said that, he went flying again, almost off of the ship, just barely catching himself on the rail with one hand. Ozzy started to interpose himself between the captain and the whirlwind, but Woodrat waved him back. "It's fine, Mr. Ozzy. She's just flirting a bit. If she wanted to, she could have knocked me 50 yards into the Sargasso."

Ozzy winced as Woodrat made that statement, pretty sure he knew what was coming next. He wasn't wrong. This time the winds picked up Woodrat, and toss him off the ship, significantly further than 50 yards. He landed on the burnt vegetation, bounced once and then slid out of sight behind another ship. The tornado turned and moved towards him

"And is your tongue so clever? Or will you leave before I make you leave?" The wind began to howl.

Ozzy flung his chain to the mast where it wrapped around several times. He was betting that his muscles were stronger than the winds this creature could kick up. "Let's see if you can actually budge me. That will help me make up my mind."

As soon as he said that, the winds hit him. His feet left the ground and he found himself holding onto his chain with his body parallel to the deck. But the winds couldn't break his grip on the mast and after a full minute that subsided. This was followed by a barrage of lightning. Bolt after bolt hit him, but his elemental mitigation from Monstrous took the sting out of them. He was losing a little over a hundred smoke from each bolt, but after a half dozen strokes of lightning had hit him, the tornados winds slowed a bit and he was pretty sure it was smaller.

Ozzy stood up and braced himself in case the winds came back. Woodrat chose that moment to come running around of the derelict he had slid behind. His sword was out and he was sprinting. Behind him came a half-dozen charred sailors, and a shambling creature that looked like it was made out of wilted salad. Woodrat was much faster than the horde behind him, so Ozzy wasn't worried.

"Well, now that we have a bit of a stalemate, maybe we can parley a bit? I don't think you can move me, and I'm doubting my ability to fight you without doing some damage to this ship. I don't think either of us wants to see that happen. How about we talk for a bit, and maybe find some reason to not fight?"

"You want my ship. That much is obvious!

"I also need information. I'm from the Conjunction and I'm stuck here in the smoke. Maybe you can answer some questions and give me some clues on how to get out of here."

"You are trapped here?"

"Yep, I sure am. And looking for a way home."

"Three questions, three answers, and I will not answer a question that goes against my responsibilities. If that shows you a way home, then you take your little captain and begone."

Woodrat paused to kill the charred closest to him, then turned and sprinted away. He started yelling when he got close to the ship. "Be a good mate and drop a ladder, would you?"

Ozzy yelled down to him. "Sorry, can't captain. I just negotiated a Parley, and you know what Ships Law says about that."

Woodrat mumbled to himself as he started to run. "Damned rules lawyers. Should have never taught him Ship's Law." He started running in circles, stopping to pick off a charred now and then as he kept out of reach of the pack.

"Fair enough. I think I met one of your kind before. Do you know Smokey Joe? Might also go by 'The Burninator', 'Smoking Death', or 'Ham Warden'.

For three heartbeats, nothing happened, and then the creature asked, "Where did you hear those names? What do you know of him?"

Ozzy leaned back against the mast and folded his arms. "That's a long story to tell. And I was the one who got three questions. Seems I might have some information you want as well."

The whirlwind advanced until it was almost on top of him, the whirling smoke just touching him. "You smell of the conjunction. Burned meat and an an ocean of blood. You're a butcher! A chain binder! A slaver! Where is the cyclone called Joe!? Tell me or I'll tear you into parts and scatter you in the smoke!"

"I'm a butcher, yes. But I'm not a slaver and won't ever be one. Might have chained an angel once, and I sort of regret that, but I made good by him and we're on friendly terms now. Joe is down in the conjunction. He's been teaching me tricks with smoke and sent me up here to learn from the Old Smoke. I got sort of sidetracked. Now that's quite a bit of info for not getting one of my damned questions answered. So back the hell off, or take your best shot and find out which of us is tougher."

Woodrat had finished off the charred, and was circling the shambling mound of salad, slashing it time and again and trying to stay out of its reach.

The whirling smoke condensed into a humanoid form. Ozzy saw that Woodrat had been correct in calling the whirlwind a lass and wondered how the hell he had known. She was dressed like a sailor in tight grey breeches and a long-sleeved shirt, lacing only half-closing a V-neck top. Her long hair was light grey and bound into a tight braid. Where Joe's skin was a deep black/grey, her skin was white. That was all the impression Ozzy got before a very sharp cutlass touched his throat. The sword was white hot, with a bit of radiance running along the blade. There was no humor or mercy in those green eyes as she asked. "Did you bind him? Because if you did, we'll see if cutting off your head undoes that."

Ozzy didn't move and answered truthfully. "Lady, I don't know what binding is. My pit summoned a smoke elemental to help me make bacon, and Joe showed up. He's as much in charge of the pit as I am, and like I said, he's been teaching me things."

She sheathed the sword and backed away, to Ozzy's relief. Slow clapping came from the bow of the ship. Woodrat was back, a bit battered but still smiling. "Bravo, Mr. Ozzy, bravo! You've tamed the lass in record time. Now as to who this ship belongs to..."

That was as far as he got before the cyclonic wind picked him up and tossed him to the Sargasso again.

"He is persistent and annoying!" Her voice was lower, but still sounded like it was carried to him on the wind.

"Eh? He's a captain who found both a pretty ship, and a pretty woman to flirt with. If he was serious about fighting, he'd have drawn his sword and you two could fight until one of you was dead. I'll have a talk with him, and then I think its time we lay our cards on the table."

"As you wish. But we play with my deck, and I'll cut."

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