The Butcher of Gadobhra

Rolly could tell that something was wrong with his pet. Squirmie was hesitant to go into the Beast Woods tonight. "What's wrong bug?"

Rolly looked at his pet, checking for signs of illness. "You were excited about looking for the Menagerie all day. And I distinctly remember you wanting to do anything but cutting up more dead meat."

"I am quite curious as to what a little slaughter machine like Squirmie could be afraid of?" Ben was scanning the woods, and listening for the sounds of animals. Other than a dog barking, he heard nothing.

The night became momentarily darker as the outline of a huge bat eclipsed the moon before it landed in a tree fifty feet away at the edge of the woods. A large horned stag with glowing eyes stepped from the woods, accompanied by a horribly scruffy dog. The stag took a step towards them and spoke in an elvish accent. "She's afraid of broken promises and obligations cast aside like a rotten lemon. It's long past time you paid your debts, Fearless Leader."

Curse Removal. It's not Squirmies fault the potions didn't work!>

The bat tried to talk, but only managed and enraged "Squeeeeeee!". The dog turned out to be a human with long shaggy hair, clothing so rotten it was falling off, a profusion of fleas, and a smell that was a weapon in and of itself. Sadly, it was also a friendly dog and ran up to rub against Ben's leg and beg for a treat. The stag was insistant: "The deal wasn't for a bag of potions, it was for your assistance in removing our curses."

"Now, I'll point out that we've been quite patient and tried to deal with the situation ourselves, but we've been unsuccessful each time. We've explored the wildnerness, had many advantures, and maxed out a plethora of skills we never dreamed of getting before. It's been a fun adventure and we gave you quite a bit of extra time to own up to your obligations. That time has ended. If we progress into the fourth tier in these forms, they will become permanent."

"Manwar is upset over his inability to speak, and the difficulty of drinking an ale in a tavern. And poor Monger doesn't even seem to be intelligent at this point."

"Squeeeeee!"

"Point taken, Manwar. We had doubts about Monger's intelligence before he took on so many curses, but still, we are insisting that you help us deal with the terrible beast's riddles and aid us in the removal of these curses!" The stag stomped one cloven hoof in emphasis.

"I'm in. I love riddles." Ben doffed his hat and bowed.

"You had me at 'terrible beast'! Let's go fix things Squirmie!" Rolly was all smiles.

Suzette nodded to the stag and turned to her two butchers."This is leftover deals from the war? Then I'm in. Anyone who was killing Momco is a friend of mine. Ozzy? Runt?"

Ozzy looked thoughtful. "Sure. There was a mention of riddles at the shrine, and I'm curious now. And of course, Runt is always ready for adventure. Right Runt?" The ex-minion simply sighed and mumbled: "Smartass!"

The group advanced into the Beast Woods, led by the surprisingly eloquent stag named Greenberg. The bat flew overhead, scouting the path and reporting on large creatures in the way. Most of the strange animals avoided such a large hunting party. That didn't include the nearly mindless chimeras. The strange hybrid mixes of animals came in swarms of a half dozen at a time. They were easy to handle but they did make the journey much longer.

"At least we are working on those quests from the Hunters Shrine. I think the next milepost is Kill 500 Small Chimera." Rolly and Squirmie made sure to get all the bodies and toss them into Ozzy's bag. The chimera needed to be skinned before they were turned in, and were a great source of experience for the butcher skill Anatomy of a Monster. The assortment of strange feathers, scales, and hides went to the crafters in town for whatever use they could make of them.

Greenberg turned to them. "It will be clear from here to the Great Beast. Nothing else goes within this distance of its lair. Even the chimera have learned caution at this point. And some warning: Don't say a thing about its appearance or smell, it is easily insulted. It nearly tore Monger in half twice. He was lucky and just got used as a chewtoy and discarded. One of his curses seems to heal him quickly so he can't die and get some relief."

"And be careful of it's lair. No sneaking inside! It guards it very carefully. I suspect that the entrance to the Menagerie may be inside. The Baron has been asking about that, and we haven't found it anywhere in the woods."

The woods became very quiet. They moved forward along a small path for another ten minutes before entering a large clearing. The decayed remains of thousands of small chimera and other beasts were scattered in the brush around the camp, mixed with large clumps of foul smelling fur and excrement. A mound of bones and dirt was at the far end, a dark opening leading inward.

"Come no further, I can already smell that flea-bitten cur and want no more of his little friends. How can you have returned again? Are you not suffering from enough curses? Begone and leave me in my misery."

The stag moved forward. "Our apologies, O Great Beast of the Riddles, but once again we wish to test our knowledge against you."

"Go away. You're already cursed. The dog especially. Please tell him to quit asking for riddles. I have to give him one and then he only barks and gets another curse!"

The bat somehow produced a collar and leash, and tied Monger securely to a tree. As he started to whine, Manwar gave him a small chew toy to keep him silent. The stag continued his negotiation.

"We have brought friends who will answer questions in an attempt to win our freedom from your curses."

"I'm amazed you have friends. Double amazed you would bring them here, and amazed again they would come. I suspect Fools and Heroes. Tell them not to whine when they lose something they value."

The Great Beast emerged from the hole, preceded by a horrific stench. It's lair was a mess of old bones, fur, and excrement. The Great Beast wasn't much better. It was huge as an elephant and covered in filthy, matted fur that hung down to the ground. The face was covered except for the gleam of one eye, and long, cracked tusks that jutted upwards two feet from a hidden mouth. Four legs ended in cracked and blackened claws. A fur covered tail and humped back gave no clue as to what the creature was. Bugs and fleas dropped from its fur as it moved, even mice and rats. They raced back to the safety of the lair.

"The Rules are simple and ancient: I will pose you an answer, and you will supply me with a question. If you are correct, you may ask for gold, ask a question of me, or ask for a curse to be removed. If you fail , you will gain a curse of your own. Who will begin?"

Rolly raised his hand, jumping in front of Ben. "Me first!" The beast sighed and shook its head. "Ah, a Hero? It has been long since one of you has come to me. I will be sad to see what curse twists you, but it is your choice."

"The answer is: I am found in the sea and on land but I can't walk or swim. I travel by foot but I'm toe-less. No matter where I go I'm never far from home."

Rolly bowed and replied:

"What is a snail?"

"You have won the contest, Hero. What is the prize you seek?

"Take a curse off the bat, he's been hanging around for too long"

The bat immediately turned into a naked human who dropped to the ground and landed on his feet. "Thanks. I owe you one! Flying was fun, but eventually you get tired of eating bugs."

Ben stepped forward."I'll take riddles for 100 Alex."

The Beast paused then replied. "The answer is: My thunder comes before the lightning; My lightning comes before the clouds; My rain dries all the land it touches."

Ben stayed silent, thinking through the problem before answering:

"What is a Volcano?"

"Another victory."

"The dog, and can we start with the fleas?"

"A wise choice and a curse I regret ever casting."

The dog immediately quit scratching as a horde of fleas and lice fell to the ground. Ben fanned flames at them from his hand, crisping them before they could head to anyone else. Monger simply wagged his tail.

Rolly started to step forward, but Ben said. "Riddles for 200, Alex?"

"Very well, this foolishness continues. The answer is: Only one color, but not one size, stuck at the bottom, yet easily flies. Present in sun, but not in rain, Doing no harm, and feeling no pain."

"What is a shadow?"

"Thrice you have won. The wheel spins. The rules change. Numbers shall we play at."

"But first, your prize?

"Keep working on Monger please. He has several more curses." A huge amount of foul smelling fur disappeared from Monger.

At the mention of numbers, Ben stepped back and let Rolly take on the questions.

"If eleven plus two equals one, what does nine plus five equal?"

Numbers had always been friendly to Rolly. "Nine plus five yields Two O'clock, a wonderful time for exploring crypts and dangerous woodlands."

"The king demands eggs boiled exactly for two minutes. The chef has only a three-minute timer (hourglass), a four-minute timer and a five-minute timer, how can he boil the egg for only two minutes?

This riddle had Rolly wanting another breakfast. "The crafty chef should ignore the four-minute timer. He should begin the five-minute and three-minute timers together. The egg must be dropped in the boiling water when the three-minute timer ends, and removed as the five-minute timer runs out of sand.

There are two numbers whose product added to the sum of their squares is 109, and the difference of whose squares is 24. What are the two numbers?

Rolly had no hesitation on this one. "The answer is lucky fingers, sure to please any rogue. Mundanely known as 5 and 7."

Three victories, and once again the wheel turns. Will you continue? Your cur is now cured."

Monger was standing upright and stretching. Ozzy reached into his bag and tossed him a spare pair of pants. Ben burned his old rags.

Rolly nodded to the Beast. "Hit me."

"There was a man who was born before his father, killed his mother, and married his sister. Yet, there was nothing wrong with what he had done. Why?"

Rolly thought a moment, then replied. "Emperor Lucien, 5th emperor of Lasitania. Known as 'Lucien the Merciful ' in the histroy books."

The Great Beast seemed almost disappointed. "I am sorry hero, but that is incorrect. The correct answer is: His father was in front of him when he was born, therefore he was born before him. His mother died while giving birth to him. Finally, he grew up to be a minister and married his sister at her ceremony."

"Your curse will have to be something special. Are you ready to receive it?"

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