The Butcher of Gadobhra

A group of contract workers, finished with their daily chores, having labored from sunrise to sunset, were traveling through Gadobhra to do even more work for their Baron. Tonight, they were going to slaughter many strange beasts and dump the bodies into the Butcher's dungeon to keep him happy. It was a dirty, bloody job, but someone had to do it.

The road from the gates of the city to the ACME building was brightly lit with oil lamps. The group waved at a fellow worker who was refilling the lamps, while another pulled along a small wagon with barrels of oil. The lamps were a symbol of progress and man's unwillingness to let the dark and the monsters invade each night. They also ate up a lot of oil each day.

As the group passed the ACME building, they smelled the distinct aroma of the cheap cigars favored by the baron. A figure stepped from the shadows and greeted them. "You folks just never quit, do you? Probably the best investment I made was letting Ozzy talk me into hiring you all." Baron William had a smile on his face, and compliments in his mouth, which immediately put the workers on edge, at least inwardly. Outwardly they smiled and bobbed their heads, looking like dutiful servants.

"That's nice of you to say so, sir. And we do like to work hard. Ozzy is taking us down to help him keep your dungeon happy." Rolly was all smiles and Squirmie had a goofy look on her face similar to a child's toy.

Billy was all smiles too. "Nice, very nice. Always good to keep the big, bad, Butcher of Gadobhra happy. I appreciate the effort." He turned to Suzette. "I appreciate the gold. It was worth taking that little walk down to Sedgewick to sign off on the deal."

He looked at each member in the group. "How you convinced some little merchant to buy up a house for 5000 gold is way beyond me. Maybe it's that smile Suzette has? Or the way Ben can talk anyone into anything? No complaints. I can use the money. It hurts seeing the other half go to the little village when the big city needs it more, but that was the deal I signed, wasn't it?"

Everyone just nodded.

Billy continued. "Humor me though, and explain to me how in hell you earned 6600 building points...no... that’s wrong. 8800 building points, and you generously sent me 2200 points to spend in the city. Don't get me wrong, 2200 points is nothing I'll turn my nose up at. Points are always good. Better yet, when Vern sees my report tomorrow, he'll be shitting a brick. Upsetting Vern is something I love to do. But it really got me to thinking."

"Which is why I'd like to have a talk about how you’re doing it."

Layla appeared at his elbow. "How do you want to do this, darlings? I’m ready to wear my fingers out taking notes."

Unnoticed by anyone at all, Runt took three steps towards the shadows and disappeared. He had horned rabbits to butcher and wasn't getting involved with boss stuff. That was smartass Ozzy's job, as far as he was concerned.

The Butcher stepped forward and crossed his arms. "You're mad that we earned you points?"

Billy shook his head. "Not in the least bit." Then he walked up to Ozzy and surprised the Butcher by and handing him a cigar, and then lighting it for the him with a fancy Dwarvish lighter. Looking questioning at Ben, Rolly, and Suzette only Ben accepted a cigar as well.

Billy started pacing, waving his hands for emphasis. "I'm jealous and impressed is what I am. And I want to know how I can duplicate your methods. I've earned a few points here in the city myself, but nowhere near that many. So rather than sit in my tower and gnash my teeth, I figured I'd come talk to the smart people who are getting stronger and building up their little village."

"You should all be taking this as a compliment. It means I think you'll be at least 25% truthful with me. If I tried this stunt with someone at ACME, they'd walk away laughing their ass off after charging me a year’s salary and giving me crap information."

Layla smiled fondly at Billy. "That was so much fun. But there were actually a few truthful statements in that report, they were just well hidden."

Ben looked at Ozzy and got a small nod, then spoke up. "What exactly is it you are wanting to know or learn? We could waste a lot of your time and bore you to death by telling stories about some of the stuff that goes on. Other things we hope to never repeat."

Billy inhaled and then blew a perfect smoke ring. "I want to go over how you got those building points."

Layla said. "And I would just love to know about how you are training skills you shouldn't even have in the first place. The Baron and I need to get better, both by training what we have, but also by training any other skills we can gain. There was some talk from a group of players about a shrine in the woods with skills? That seems to match one of the building point rewards and I'm sure you know all about it."

Suzette grinned and then moved closer to Layla. "So, you want to know our secrets? It's so much better if we show you? It's like a secret training method we do some nights. Great for your arm muscles and very slimming all around. Gets rid of a lot of stress too." Layla stared at the barmaid, trying to see past the perfectly innocent smile on her lips and in her eyes.

"I'm going to regret this, I know it, but sure. I could use some stress relief."

Suzette looked over at Ozzy. "You’re already finished with all your quests. How about you talk some to Billy. I'll escort Layla down to our special training area and she can fill in for you?" Without waiting for an answer, she grabbed the two cleavers out of Ozzy's apron and tossed them to Layla who caught both in mid-air and took a few practice swings with them.

Ozzy watched the two women walk off and glanced at Billy. The Baron nodded in the direction Layla was walking. "Won't be her first time swinging around a bloody cleaver. Let's head into the lobby, and I'll get a bottle of wine and you can enlighten me some."

Guild master Gristle was not prepared to meet the Baroness. He'd met them before, but always in ceremonies at the castle, not in his shabby little butcher's guild hall. "I can't tell you how honored I am to have you here, ma'am. But, why are you here? Is there a problem of some sort? We'll sort things out right away."

The Baroness was happy to see that at least someone knew the proper way to grovel. "Just a simple visit tonight. I get so little exercise in during the day, and it was suggested that I could work off a little stress here."

Gristle simply blinked. This he totally wasn't prepared for. "Of course, of course. We are happy to accommodate you."

Ben pulled over a large book. "Just sign here Baroness." Layla signed the book and began looking at the quests and options to spend points. So, this is what the busy little workers were up to! Some of them looked very interesting.

"There are some very nice skills here, I'm impressed. I can see that I'll be here for a bit. Summon Lesser Minion is a 'Must Have' as far as I'm concerned." Layla also saw quite a few other things of interest. Increasing her physical stats was difficult with her class. But there were multiple skills here that would help.

Gristle looked horrified. He finally got out a sentence after a minute of stammering. "I.. I am so sorry. Very sorry. But Perks and Combat Skills actually require the Butcher Class.

Ben rolled his eyes and then hung his head. "Oh dear, and things were going so well."

Rolly read the book carefully. "Actually, I think this is a bit smudged here. Doesn't it say 'a butcher class' and not 'the butcher class'?"

Gristle looked at the book and the smudged word. He was sure the wording had said 'the' before. What could have changed it? "Possibly, but still I'm not sure what that changes?"

Ben leaned forward on the counter to also look at the book. "Why, it changes everything! After all, that would make Honorary Butchers eligible for those rewards if they work hard enough. Every major university and guild hall offers honorary positions to those qualified or to visiting dignitaries!"

Suzette saw where the two were going. "It's also customary for a small donation when you are given such an honor. Just think of the benefit to the guild if you had more gold pouring in? I'd love to be an Honorary butcher, and Squirmie has always dreamed of it. I have a little gold on me that I can pay. Here's 25 gold pieces for the fees for all of us and I'm sure Runt won't mind putting up a testimonial on the wall with all of our names."

Gristle was a simple creature. He liked three things: Gold, Increasing the prestige of his Guildhall, and not getting killed by the Butcher in the dungeon. This met two out of three and might help with the third. "Why, bless you all for finding a way through this conundrum and noticing the exact wording in the book. Let's have a round of applause for our new Honorary Butchers."

Everyone clapped. Gristle scooped up the gold and breathed a sigh of relief, and everyone else went to the stockyards to begin slaughtering and slicing.

"So, what's my job?" Layla was slightly taken aback by the pens filled with horrifying animals.

Suzette grabbed a large, horned rabbit from a pile of dead ones. "Watch how I do this one. Hold the horn a foot out so you don't accidently hit your hand, then cut off the horn at the base and toss it in the basket. They cook up like lobster in butter. Very tasty. Then slice the belly, chop off the feet, and skin them. Set the carcass in this pile and Ben will chuck them in the dungeon. After that we'll do some Fur Snakes and Sedge Beasts."

Layla struggled with the unfamiliar task but gained speed as she went along. Sneaking a peek at Suzette, she saw the smaller woman making powerful cuts with speed and confidence. This was no worse than many of the jobs she'd done at ACME over the years. She started to imagine each rabbit was Billy, Vern, or Sammy. Her speed went up after that and she started humming a catchy tune

Billy was pondering his discussion with Ozzy when a hideous, blood stained apparition came through the door leaving sticky, red-brown footprints in its wake.

"Shit! Ozzy! Monster!" He ran for the stairs and didn't stop until he was two floors up.

Ozzy turned around from where he had been opening another bottle of wine. "Oh, hey, Layla. Have fun?"

The bloody Baroness put her two borrowed cleavers on a table and sat down in a chair, exhausted. Ozzy handed her a glass of wine. "It was great. I'm earning points to buy some skills, and I gained two points in STR. And Suzette was right. This is great for stress reduction. Seeing Billy run like a coward was the icing on the cake." She yelled up at him. "Since you're halfway up to our rooms, run my bath and lay out some new clothes for me Billy!"

"I take it you and Billy had a good talk? I can see that most of my wine cellar is now empty bottles."

Ozzy nodded. "We each learned something. I'll let him catch you up on it. Are the rest of my crew still butchering?"

Layla rose and started heading upstairs. "Done with that, and heading to the Beastwoods. I'm simply too exhausted to keep going. My new training partner, Suzette, and I are planning to hit the woods tomorrow."

Ozzy sketched a half bow and shut the door to the ACME building behind him. Suzette and Layla were friends? That actually worried him!

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