The Butcher of Gadobhra

As the sun rose over Sedgewick, a lone figure appeared in the village square. Everyone was used to McTeeth resurrecting each morning by now, but it was still fun to watch. He always made a production of stretching and yawning as if he was getting out of bed and then dove into the village fountain for his morning bath. Stepping from the fountain he somehow pulled a clean, dry towel from his sleeve and dried himself off.

Following this he took off his pack, and pulled out thread and needle, and clothe patches. Someone was always there to place a stool for him to sit down, and a small table to hold his sewing kit. After carefully laying out his tools the process of patching his torn and cut clothing began. This is where the show really started for the half dozen rogues who showed up each day to watch and listen.

McTeeth would pull off a sock, or his tunic, even his pants, and then show his audience a large hole in his attire. He would then explain in extreme and gruesome detail the trap that had made the hole in both his clothing and in himself, killing him. To encourage his stories, the other rogues brought him tea and food from the tavern, setting up his breakfast on a small side table. McTeeth would repair his worn vestments and regale his fellow rogues with tales of pit traps, pendulums, exploding mice, and other deadly traps. He always had an enthusiastic audience. He liked to end things with a piece of pie and a short question and answer session.

Q:"Yo, Teeth! First of all, aces to you on finally getting past the exploding mice, but why not give us a few hints on how you did it?"

A:"I don't want to steal that from you guys. When you finally get lucky enough to get an invite to the castle, I want you to score all the sweet experience I'm collecting."

Q:"How long until they open that castle up? It sounds awesome. Dungeons never have enough traps to get skill increases from."

A:"I'm working with the Baron on that. Don't worry guys, it will be soon. And then three lucky thieves will get a chance at all the riches and experience I'm getting."

Q:"Why the hell do you get a cut of it all the treasure and experience we earn? This sounds like some daman Ponzi scheme!"

A:"Screw you Larry, if you don't like it, stay the hell out. I think a third of your treasure and experience is cheap compared to what I'm going through! No hints, not warnings, just lots and lots of painful death. I think my mentorship program is quite fair. Plus, you'll be able to charge the same when it's your turn to bring people in. We can all get rich. Except for Larry. Sod off, Larry, you're out of the mentorship program."

Today McTeeth had a tale about a combination trap of a large rolling rock, and a greased floor. His clothes were ok, but the buckles were completely flattened and had to be bent into shape. Then he finished his tea and prepared to leave.

"OK, that's it for today, I have an important briefing for the Baron, and I can't be late."

Billy scowled at the half dozen silver coins and a twisted copper bracelet. "This is it? I was expecting a bit more."

McTeeth spread his hands. "What can I say? I spend hours and hours in that madhouse, advancing room by room trying to disable the traps and find a treasure chest. Chests always have traps, or are traps, or both. One time I disabled four traps on a chest that only had broken traps for treasure."

Layla's ears perked up. "Broken traps and locks can be sold to mechanicians to practice their skills on, we should get half of those as well as half the treasure you find. Make sure you keep those."

McTeeth nodded his head humbly. "Oh, yes ma'am. I'll keep those from now on. Good point! We can both make a bit more coin."

Billy looked at the small thief. So far, he wasn't producing a lot of gold, but it seemed to keep the city happy. Billy had earned 100 building points for tossing in a thief to run the gauntlet in the castle, with the promise of 500 more when he managed to get to the second floor. and more beyond that. Billy didn't understand what Gadobhra wanted, other than thieves to test the castle defenses and die horribly. He really didn't care though. McTeeth was a positive on the balance sheet, and the city was happy.

"How long until we can toss in more thieves. You say you have that lined up?"

McTeeth nodded affirmatively to Billy while he stuffed his pack with some food from the table, and a half bottle of wine. Daily breakfast and lunch were part of his deal. "Yessir. I had to promise each one an upfront payment of 10 gold and another 5 gold a week in salary. You can't just order them in their like you did me, after all. And no one is thieving anymore in Sedgewick. Just give me the money and I'll handle payments each week. I think one more week and things will be ready for them. The castle keeps saying 'not quite yet, go die painfully in this room next' every time I ask. Believe me, I'd love to be done. Plus, I think that the amount of gold they can earn will be higher. I’ll have briefed them on all the dangers and fewer chests will be left unopened."

McTeeth approached the castle carefully, scouting for stray monsters. Daytime was mostly safe, but not always. Dying out here cost him a full day of working on traps. When he was near the entrance and fairly safe, he pulled a bag from behind a hidden panel near the door. Then he waited for Rufus to meet him. The craftsman was late today. "Took you long enough. What the hell, man, you can't keep me hanging here. Shit roams about sometimes. I don't feel safe until I'm inside."

Rufus wasn't looking good. He'd lost weight and there were bags under his eyes. "Sorry, 'teeth, not much sleep. We were working in the smithy on parts for the new ballista until past midnight. Then I got caught up working on the gear design for the new gates at the keep. It's awesome, I learned the Castle Engineering skill and I'm almost at level 2. Plus, I've maxed smithing and several other skills until Tier 3. But these guys are madmen. They work all day, every day, and most of their 'sleep time' is down in the bar. I'm pushing hard to keep up."

McTeeth was actually a little concerned. After all, he didn't need his partner in crime getting sloppy. "You need your shut-eye. Don't kill yourself over some crafting experience."

Rufus made a rude sound and dumped the contents of the bag into his pack. "Says the man who dies four times a day spends half his time offline waiting to resurrect. Sleep is for the weak. I'll be fine. I'll get all of this melted down and cast into bars, like usual."

"Yep. Let’s make it easy to unload. I've been hitting bigger and bigger treasures lately and I can smell a big one somewhere. I've got to be more careful though, it's getting harder and harder to get a nice score each day, even with the first three deaths just putting me at the start of the castle. Oh, and I need you to bring back the locks from now on. Fix them, then break half of them and bring them back. The Baroness figured out they have value."

"No problem. I can only get experience once off of them. Don’t let the castle wear you down now. I've got faith in you, just keep at it. We'll come out of this rich and with a hell of a skillset to head into Tier 3." He turned and left, moving carefully through the city. McTeeth turned and entered the castle.

"Back Finally! I should never have let you talk me into taking a break every fourth death. I'm thinking of changing that. I think ten deaths is a better choice, maybe twenty. We're behind schedule. Where are these three new souls to torture?"

McTeeth sat down in a comfortable armchair and brought out some wine and cheese from Billy's table. He liked a nice nap after the walk up from town. "Nearly ready. I have them eager to get in here. They've agreed to my mentorship program. You need to take out a third of all their experience and earned gold, and give it to me. Then when they find three thieves, they get the same deal."

"And you get a third of what they take from the next tier down! So Evil! I like it so much I'll allow it. But only so long as you're ahead of them. If one of them get to the next level before you do, they take over."

McTeeth wasn't worried. "Agreed, but not a chance of it happening. Not with all the blood I've spilled helping you make this place into a better deathtrap. I'll be looting the third level before they hit level two. You say it's really nasty up there?"

"Oh, truly horrible. I even have my doubts you can increase the deadliness, even after all the nice improvements I've seen to the first level. How is the work your little friend is doing for us?"

"Oh, I'm working him to death. Did you see the man? He's so scared of me he looks like a scarecrow. He'll have the improved locks up here tomorrow, and he can start producing Dark Steel blades for the pendulums next week."

"Outstanding. That will increase the chance of permanent limb loss by 10%. Granted, I'm limited to making 'permanent' only a week, but it's the thought that counts. Now quit slacking. I'm getting anxious."

McTeeth finished the bottle of wine. "Yeah, yeah. Don't get your boxers in a twist. I'm on it. Two more rooms and that meat grinder at the end of the hall and then I'm done with this level.”

"Make it so, number one, make it so."

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