The Butcher of Gadobhra

While it might seem exciting to be part of a heroic last stand, there is also something to be said for running as fast as you can from the enemy when they have the advantage. You preserve your troops, and can use them better in the next battle.

It also really cuts down on bee stings and squirrel bites.

The workers had decided to move back to a spot just outside the town. People from the town were rushing out of the barracks. From one of the towers a bell was ringing. Suzette was running beside Ozzy as he lumbered along. His long legs and muscles meant nothing when compared to someone with sunlight in her steps and an agility of 15. As they got to the town, she gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Rally these guys, see what we have. I'm off to go gather some more firepower." Ozzy just nodded, watching her disappear as she sprinted for the tavern.

The angry forest was pursuing, but at a much slower pace. The squirrels wanted to move faster. Too many of them were in a fury in anticipation of the battle, foam dripping from their tiny, sharp teeth. They were barely restrained by the treants and threats of a winter with no acorns. The treants insisted that the squirrels stay and guard them from the sneaky axe wielders. With squirrels keeping the humans at bay, the treants plan was to split into three groups to attack and surround the village. Each group was advancing with half a dozen huge oaks in the front.

Ozzy saw the advancing forest split into three groups. They had a better chance attacking one group at a time, but that meant losing part of the town. But splitting up into three groups was going to force each group to be very outnumbered. Workers could kill squirrels, and some could chop trees, but all of it together was too much. No good plan came to mind, he'd just have to wing it and hope someone came up with a good idea.

Catching his breath, he leaped up on a wagon and clapped his hands loudly. Heads turned in his direction, none with any fear, just wondering what was on the menu for today. Sedgewick workers didn't spook easily at this point. "Folks, we seem to have pissed off a forest by chopping down a couple hundred oaks. And before someone starts singing 'Circle of Life' I'll point out these guys have an army of rabid, psychotic squirrels and they are waging a war of extinction against another forest. They aren't the good guys."

Jon raised his axe. "Darn right. The Ironwoods just want to live peacefully. Years from now, you'll be proud to look back and say, 'I was there! I fought in the great war alongside the Legendary Lumberjacks.' You really don't want to miss this fight."

Ben rode up on his horse, and as he reigned Mudhead in, the horse reared and flashed his hooves. "Miss a good fight? Never. These are the days when a village shows its courage. When we stand shoulder to shoulder and tell the evil marching upon us that they will not win! " He circled around the group striking a dashing pose and doffing his hat. All eyes were on Ben...for about thirty seconds.

Then the crowd turned and pointed to the sky.

A giant butterfly with rainbow-colored wings was swooping down out of the sky, carrying Rolly by the collar of his shirt. As they got lower the butterfly pulled up suddenly, and flipped its cargo into the air. The shepherd flipped twice in the air before landing in a three-point stance.

Ben stared as Rolly stuck the landing, and sighed. He'd been upstaged before, but not by a bug and a shepherd who could perform a super-hero landing. Rolly walked over and produced an apple for mudhead. "Hey, nice sparkly feather, looks cool."

"Thanks Rolly, I'm glad you noticed. It took me three days to get that trick figured out, and then I get shown up by a damn butterfly and his sidekick."

"Her sidekick, Ben."

Ben looked over at Squirmie, who was spinning in the air and doing tricks. "Squirmie’s a girl? I won't ask how you figured that out. Is she bigger? She looks bigger, and slimmer? More agile?"

Rolly smiled proudly. "We decided to do a little upgrade. A new friend of mine helped out. But that's a story for later. Did I hear that you scheduled a fight to welcome us back? That's really nice of you Ben. Squirmie will appreciate it."

Ben pointed to the forest that was moving closer. "Enough for everyone. Feel free to go kill trees or squirrels to your hearts content, but watch out for the one throwing beehives."

Rolly scanned the trees, searching. "Honey? They brought honey? Best fight ever! Thanks Ben!"

Rolly scanned the approaching army, his eyes turning silvery. "Oooh, I see him. I call dibs! Squirmy!! Come on girl, we have to liberate the honey from an evil tree.” The two ran off towards the left flank, where Honeypot was advancing.

Suzette got to the tavern, paused, considered her hair, and thought about what she had to say. Hopefully there were some players inside.

As luck would have it, the Thunderpunks had just started to celebrate their first semi-successful raid. They had made it down to the second floor, and killed four of the bosses there, only losing half the raid. The survivors had come to drink a toast to the guild, joined by the players who were gearing up for the next raid. With nearly fifty members, they were running two raids a day, gaining experience and improving their gear. They had just finished the first round of beer when Suzette came into the tavern with an anguished look on her face.

"Zephyr! I need you to find your parents right away, and then flee the town. A horde of angry trees is coming to destroy the village. We don't know how to stop them!!

Zephyr took off her apron and grabbed her staff. "Trees? Oh, I know how to stop them! Trees burn! I'll go get Dad and we'll just..."

Suzette ran to the girl and hugged her, smothering Zephyr's face with her shoulder. "Yes! The Trees Burn with Anger!! Get your father and flee. We will have to call in the Legion, for nothing can save us!"

Val stood up, wild eyed, all fatigue forgotten. "We'll save you!! Come on guys! Sounds like a special event."

"Yes, that must be it!" Zephyr yelled. "One of those terrible events where the monsters are evil and the rewards for stopping them are generous".

Suzette ran to Val. "Can your brave guild of heroes save us from this totally unexpected event? I would be so grateful!" Val was astonished when her new elf friend gave her a hug, so overjoyed at being rescued.

StrongArm was more pragmatic. "Does that mean free beer for heroes?" He was running low on coins again, and the beer in this town was rather good.

Suzette wiped her eyes and nodded her head yes. "Why, of course it does. Free beer all tonight and half off tomorrow."

That was enough for him. "Time to go fight! Thunderpunks! Thunderpunks! Thunderpunks HO!!"

Suzette watched the players rush out of the tavern and start running to the edge of town. Zephyr came over to her. "Dad's on the way, probably Mom as well, but you won't see her. I learned how to use a message gem last week and they make me pack one around now. Something about taverns and strange witches."

"Someday though, I want you to teach me how to manipulate people like that. Usually, it takes a quest to get players moving so fast."

The Doom of the Trees approaches Sedgewick!!

Somehow the people of the town have angered the psychotic oaks and their squirrel lackeys. Now nature is on the move and plans to teach the pesky humans of Sedgewick a lesson! Will brave heroes answer the call? Or will they lose the only place to get a beer for miles?

There's experience, loot, and magical nuts for everyone in this totally unexpected event.

And free beer all of tonight for the victors. And half off tomorrow!

Plus, don't forget that Bunny girls drink free on Fridays!

Suzette sighed. "Well, guess it’s official. Let’s go burn some trees."

Zephyr was astounded. "You're going to lose a lot of money on Fridays! I've watched those girls drink!"

Suzette waved it off. "We'll make it back double off of the guys that show up to watch drunken Bunny girls."

As the Thunderpunks massed for a charge at the trees, a horseman rode quickly up to them.

"Greetings, good people. I am Benjamin of the Emperor's Courier service. We seem to have a small war on our hands and I'd like to convey the emperor's thanks in coming out to deal with it. I'm sure the rewards will be commensurate with the heroic deeds I will witness your guild accomplish!"

There was a bit of cheering, and banging of shields, especially at the mention of rewards. Several of the more hot-headed members wanted to charge at the enemy, but had the problem of a horse and courier being in their way.

Ben asked the group a question. "Tell me though, do you have a plan?"

Someone yelled, "Charge and kill them all. How hard can it be to kill trees."

Ben considered, tilting his head back, looking at the army of trees, and then at the players. "Harder than you might imagine. But I was more wondering about the several hundred rabid squirrels that are running along through the grass with the trees. Having a horde of squirrels bite you to death is a bad way to die. What is your plan for dealing with them?"

Ben let them discuss it for ten seconds, ignoring the shouts to simply charge and kill them. "No plan then? Well, you are in luck. For I have a plan! A plan that has worked in many a great battle." Ben smiled down at Val in particular, catching her eye.

"But of course, I don't want to usurp the command of your guild from your beautiful guild mistress! Perhaps a compromise? We'll use my plan today, and your plan next time."

Val meekly agreed to the idea. She was still shaking from the casual mention of that many squirrels running at them.

Ben addressed the group. "How many of you have an area-of-effect spell you can cast at range?" Fifteen players raised their hands.

"Excellent. And how many of those are Fire or Holy Fire? Eight of you? Very good."

"How about Hell Fire? Three, good to know. I can handle some of that, but you might want to have a healer ready. Some of the darker aspects might get reflected back at you. Just a warning."

"What are the other type of spells do we have available?" The other four players could cast Poison Winds, Cloud of Acid, Rain of Arrows, and Plague of Frogs. Ben considered those. "Ok, very important. Don't mix the acid with the fire unless you want a much bigger fire! Might save that for later. Poison is fine, but won't last long with other explosions. Do Not Pincushion me with the arrows."

"Of course, if the squirrels kill me, let loose with all of it."

"And would we happen to have a Bard with us? One who's songs can irritate the calmest of men? A songsmith with the most insulting of verses? Ah, I see we do. You have the pleasure of riding with me sir. And what a ride it will be!"

The Bard's name was Coglin. He'd been tuning his harp in preparation for battle. At the mention of singing from horseback he set it aside and took out a small tambourine.

Ben looked at Val. "This will take some timing. Coglin and I are going to get their attention, bring back a horde, and group them up for you. It's up to you to call the attack, as we'll be too busy insulting squirrels and not getting caught. Don't worry about us. My spells will keep us safe from the fire. But don't let the other four start casting until we are clear. Understood?"

Val nodded. "Taunt, kite, circle, and burn. Got it. You can count on us, Sir!" Ben saluted the group and ran off to his horse. He mounted, and gave Coglin a hand up. Then handed him three potions. "Take the first, it's a Fire Protection potion. The second is a Healing Potion. The third is cherry brandy. You'll know best when to use them."

Coglin downed the first potion, thought about what he was about to do, and drank down the brandy, then stored the healing potion. "I hope you have a fast horse."

The courier looked back at him and grinned. "Well, let's just say that courier skills, Horseshoes of the Traveling Oatburner, a fine horse like Mudhead, and a bag of oats laced with a Speed Potion should give you a ride worthy of a song." As Coglin was considering that statement, Rolly was looping a rope around their waists. He made three loops and tied it tightly, patting Coglin on the shoulder and giving him some advice. "Don't worry if you haven't done anything stupid like this before. I’m a Master of doing stupid and heroic things. You just hold on tight and keep singing."

"Do you have a song ready?"

The tambourine started tapping out a beat. The Bard began to sing:

Oh, Your nuts are quite small,

If we can find them at all,

And your tails smell like a boll weevil!

And while we'd like to think,

The trees don't mind the stink,

That pong is just something primeval!

Mudhead started off slowly, building speed. The ground started to fly by. Stanza after stanza was yelled out by the bard. Ben listened to the chorus, and then joined in when he could.

"Damn, look at them go! How the hell do you get a horse like that??" Several players were highly impressed and vowed to spend less on beer and save money for a mount.

Zephyr was standing nearby. "It helps to be a courier, but any horse runs better on one of Aliester’s Spectacular Speed Potions. Sold singly or by the six-pack at your friendly local alchemy shop. Mention you fought in this raid for a discount." The alchemist and his daughter were standing next to the wizards, sorcerers, and clerics preparing their best AOE spells. Zephyr had out her staff sling and was loading several potions into it."

As they watched, Ben and Coglin raced towards the approaching hoard, cutting across the front of the lines, and racing around the group of treants. A few nuts and a beehive were tossed at them, but missed, killing some squirrels and further maddening them. Having made sure all of the fuzzy rodents had been properly insulted, Mudhead raced towards the town, drawing the squirrels away from the treants.

Ben started circling, staying out of range of the squirrels, and racing around and around in a circle, slowly tightening the mob up and leading it up to the raid. The squirrels piled on top of each other, scratching and biting, never able to catch the fleeing horse that seemed to always be moving away from them.

Strongarm was watching and commenting to all who could hear, as if they weren't also watching. "Classic kiting. He's got them bunched and now he'll deliver them."

A small boy ran out of one of the village shops, a large platter held in two hands. It smelled amazing. As the players gathered round, he started yelling to them. "Get your bacon here! Free bacon for all heroes. Just take one piece each folk. Two might make you spontaneously combust! Fire mages get an extra, eat them when your mana bottoms out."

The platter held thick chunks of smoked bacon. Each slice was at least a quarter pound in weight. Every player grabbed one and began eating. Runt had to slap a few fingers when people tried to take extra. One of the wizards, still tired from the raid saw his mana start to recharge rapidly. "Oh, shit! This stuff is hot stuff. Burns like hell, but look at your mana!! And I've got a buff that will increase my damage by 20%!!"

Runt yelled back over his shoulder as he walked back to the butcher shop. "That's right, folks. Tasty Battle Bacon is now on sale at your friendly local butcher shop. Just the thing a hero needs before every battle." The players finished their snack, many vowing to go shopping for bacon later. From the rear of the group there was the sound of a small explosion, and a scream. The players turned around to see that one of the thieves, Quickfingers, had burst into flames and collapsed on the ground, dead. Rufus grabbed a bucket of water from a horse trough and dumped it on the body. "What did we just learn, children? When someone says 'only eat one slice or you explode' you should take them seriously."

Ben made one last circuit, yelled, "Hold on tight, this is the rough part.", and came to a halt fifty foot in front of the raid. The rabid squirrel horde wasted no time in catching up. Val noticed that both alchemists were beginning their throws and yelled to the raid.

"Now! Fire! All the fire."

Aliester threw one Fire Bomb and then hefted another. Zephyr managed three at once with her staff and stuck her tongue out at her father. This was followed by all types of firebased spells coming down onto Ben, Mudhead, and a terrified Bard. The potions helped some. Ben was also wearing a courier's uniform made from Red Sedge Bull hide. Between the fireresistant leather, the potion, and his hat he could weather most of what was being thrown his way and survive.

Coglin wasn't going to be so lucky, but Ben had planned for that. He hoped that he, Mudhead, and his passenger might all benefit from his fancy, God-worn hat's fire protection, but just in case he began casting healing spells on the Bard as the apocalypse rained down on them.

The first squirrels made it to Mudhead and went to attack the horse, losing many of their number to stomping hooves. Others were leaping at the riders. When the first wave of fire hit, the rodents were washed away in fire. Hundreds more roared in, the sheer number preventing the fire from hitting all of them. Mudhead was starting to panic, and Ben kicked him hard. The horse bounded out of the area of the fire, two-dozen squirrels dangling from horse and riders, biting into them and making small wounds.

It was just as well Ben moved when he did. Later, he would remember his own words and wince. He'd told the mage with the acid AOE to hold off "unless you want a much bigger fire! " And who doesn't want a bigger fire when there are things to kill and experience to earn. To be fair, PHZero held off for at least two seconds before casting his spell.

The resulting explosion as the acid hit the flames caught Mudhead in mid-leap and helped propel the horse an additional ten feet. The landing wasn't smooth, but he kept his footing and didn't dump his riders. Mudhead made the decision to ignore any commands other than 'Run for your life' for the next minute. He finally slowed at the other side of the town, only when the fire was far behind him and all the squirrels had been shaken off.

Ben turned to his passenger. "How are you doing? I can drop you off here if you like?" The Bard was tempted, but after going through this much, he didn't want to miss the ending. "And miss the battle? Who would sing the tale? Lead on, sir."

Ben laughed and headed back to the battle.

With a sharp 'crack', a ball of iron was flung from an onager at the approaching treants. It hit one and knocked it backwards, breaking some limbs. Jorges was already reloading the machine as his crew cranked to build torsion. The onager was a small type of catapult used by the Romans. Instead of firing a load high in the air, the arm threw a weighted shot in a flat arc that would take out a column of troops or shatter wooden gates of a fortress.

They worked good against treants as well. The walking trees didn't dodge, relying on their heavy armor. That armor didn't work well against a hard flung ball of iron. Jorges wasn't happy with the first shot; the thing was still coming. His next projectile was solid steel. Steel was hard to make with medieval technology and he didn't have a lot of it yet. Hopefully they could recover the ammunition. The second shot hit the same treant who was still walking straight at the war machine. The steel ball hit hard, and the Treant split down the middle of the trunk, the ball embedded into it. It slowly fell over, branches moving, but out of the fight. One more treant bore down on the onager, moving fast.

"Crank harder, we only get one more shot at this."

The Thunderpunks had dealt with the few squirrels left alive, and then charged into the right flank of the trees. Jon and Cham were leading the lumberjacks and other workers against the left flank. The group of three that Jorges and his team were playing with had come straight up the middle.

Jorges pulled out a smaller projectile, made of shiny, dark-grey metal. Cham and Jon had brought back some of the bog iron from their mysterious glade. Some of the pieces were normal iron, but one chunk was pure Dark Iron. The tier 2 material had been tough to work with. Jorges was thinking he'd need to totally rebuild the smithy, or maybe build another? Either way, he needed more heat to work the Dark Iron, let alone process it into even harder Dark Steel.

Working as fast as they could, his crew worked the levers that wound the machinery, storing the energy used to launch the projectile. Jorges loaded the shot, and was finally able to fire as the last treant towered above them. The arm of the onager flew forward hitting the crossbar, the sling holding the shot whipped around and sent the ball of Dark Iron into the center of the angry tree.

And out the other side. Splinters tore into Jorges and his workers. They'd be spending most of the evening pulling chunks of wood out of their skin. The treant looked down to where its center was missing, and slowly fell into the onager. Jorges surveyed the damage done by the little machine. "Yeah, I think that Marcus will be happy with a dozen of these up at the keep."

The rest of the battle lasted only a half hour. Without their squirrels to protect their flanks, the treants found themselves out-maneuvered and out-numbered. Fire was deadly to them, and many of the players had firebased attacks. Several of the Thunderpunks also had axes they attacked with. The animated trees needed the treants to control them. This was hard to do when a treant was on fire.

Zephyr and her father rained down hell upon any tree withing range, showing the advantages of Battle Alchemy. Aliester showed off a little, mixing up the colors of his fire and tossing in some pyrotechnics. Zephyr delighted more in seeing how big of an explosion she could make. In the days to come, Aliester would have several players ask to apprentice to him. He thought it over and selected PHZero. The young man had taken acid-based spells over fire from a love of chemistry in college. But seeing actual Battle Alchemy convinced him to start his character over entirely as an Apprentice Alchemist.

Suzette, Ozzy, and Rolly supported the lumber jacks. Ben and the Bard joined them a few minutes later. Between Suzette and Ben, all of the treants were on fire within minutes. As they lost control of their trees, the lumberjacks took them down one by one.

Honeypot threw his last hive, and then tried to sneak away. Rolly and Squirmy stalked the old treant and then confronted it.

"I smell something sweet, Squirmie. Do you smell something sweet?" The butterfly took to the sky. Rolly's arms grew the scythes he normally wielded in battle, but now they were thinner, sharper, and their edges glinted with silvery glow. As the treant swung a branch, Rolly dodged and trimmed off a small bit of it. The treant pulled back with a snarl. "That..burns! What are..you!?" Rolly just laughed at it. "Hungry for something sweet."

Squirmie dove from the sky at high speed and the edge of her wing passed through a six-inch thick branch before she swooped back up to the sky, looping and coming in for another attack. It took time to whittle the tree down, but the outcome was never in doubt. Rolly took a few hard hits, but had the health and stamina to endure them. With a last shudder, the trimmed treant fell over, leaking a little golden honey from a crack in its trunk.

Less than an hour after the War of the Oaks had started, it was all over.

From a large bush far away from the battle, a large, black squirrel watched as the treants died one by one. Razortooth Fluffytail was disgusted. He'd ran from treant to treant telling them that this was a bad plan!

He had advised waiting a day and moving up on the village under the cover of darkness. The humans could be trapped in their stone lairs as the treants knocked them over. Any who escaped would be over-whelmed by his warriors diving from the rooftops. The treants hadn't listened, and so the treants had burned.

Razortooth signaled to the two-dozen large squirrels who comprised his personal commando team. All were veteran warriors, and had shared his horror at the frontal assault. They slunk away unseen into the deep woods. The day wasn't a total loss. Four of his squirrels carried large bags containing the magic acorns that would have been shared by his army. Now they were all theirs.

He needed time to consider how best to deal with the humans. He hated ceding them any of the forest, but he wouldn't make the mistake that the treants had made. He'd fight them on his own terms. The lumberjacks would learn to fear the woods.

Thunderpunks:

The War of the Oaks is over, and the Defenders of Sedgewick are Victorious!

All members of The Righteous Guild of Thundering Punishers of Evil who took part in the battle will receive one magical item and 1-10 gold pieces from the large, golden rewards chest that has appeared in the town square. Each guild member also receives 1000 experience that may be distributed to any skill and 5 core skill points.

To commemorate the event, a trophy has been mounted on the wall of the Guild Hall.

Coglin receives the Title: Famous Bard, for his impromptu performance and creation of a 13-stanza song. The song 'Rotten Nuts' has been entered into the songbooks of the Imperial Bardic College.

A reminder: Free Beer tonight and until noon tomorrow at the tavern! Bunny girls drink free on Friday!

Workers and Citizens of Sedgewick:

The War of the Oaks is over, and now you get to go clean things up.

To aid in the clean-up, each worker will receive a special tool from the golden rewards chest that has appeared in the town square. These tools are made of Dark Steel and oaken treant-wood. Choose from: Falling axe, adze, hand-axe, cross-cut saw, or nutcracker.

Each worker also receives 1000 experience that may be distributed to any skill and 5 core skill points.

The stock pile in the barracks will receive the following: 20 pristine squirrel pelts, 9 oaken treant-hearts, 90 board-feet of pristine oak wood, 100 magic acorns, 50 gallons of honey. This is in addition to any materials salvaged from the battlefield.

Suzette:

Your innocent town has survived an attack by horrible tree monsters, and diseased squirrels. Brave heroes stood side by side with the citizens of Sedgewick in defiance of nature gone bad.

(You won, so you get to write what actually happened. Isn't that handy? We won't mention your towns insatiable need for timber.)

Sedgewick receives a large number of resources that have been added to your stock pile in the barracks. You have earned 75 (100-25) Building points

The Glade of the Ironwoods requests a Treety with your town. In exchange for your protection of the young trees, you may gather bog iron from the glade, and harvest any dead wood from the Ironwood Trees. Other benefits my become available to your town. The workers Cham and Jon have been declared 'Friends of the Glade'. Other townsfolk are upgraded to 'Tolerated'.

Sedgewick has gained 300(400-100) Building points.

Your town has a source of bog iron, Dark Iron, and Rustblight Ore. Dark Iron is a tier 2 material. Rustblight Ore is a magical component in Corrupted Weapons, Ironblight curses, and the creations of Rustblight Beetles. Iron Wood is a strong, tier 2 wood.

Warning: Your town has gained a NEMESIS! An ongoing quest has begun.

Your town has gained a source of Iron Wood.

The threat of the Oaks and build-up of rabid squirrels has been eliminated. Sedgewick has gained 75 (100-25) Building points.

William, Baron of Gadobhra:

One of your villages was involved in a small fight with some neighboring trees. Nothing for you to worry about, it's over and you can take credit for your stalwart defense of the surrounding area that saved us all from the evil forces of nature.

You have received 150 building points.

One of your villages has signed a Treety.

One of your villages has gained a source of Dark Iron.

One of your villages has gained a source of Iron Wood.

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