The Butcher of Gadobhra

Not a lot got done repairing the barracks the next morning until after the treasure chest dispensed its goodies.

The Tier 4 Treasure Chest was quite a bit larger and grander than the others that had appeared in the dungeon, as if to say "Why even bother with lesser chests! I'm the one you want". The dark, polished wood was trimmed in gold with brass rivets and it glowed in the morning sun. The workers and players had gathered around it like toddlers around a Christmas tree. They'd agreed to claim their rewards one at a time, and enjoy seeing what each person got.

Billy and Layla were there, watching. Layla was taking notes of everything that came out of the chest. They'd already offered to help sell any item that a worker didn't want, with ACME taking a cut of the profits. Layla had suggested 50% at first. Suzette had eagerly started haggling on behalf of the workers and countered at 10%. They'd finally settled on 25% after a short but heated argument. Ozzy and Billy had started a conversation about the weather and stayed out of it.

In the back was sitting a small group of nearly naked players. These were the people who had fought for MOMCO. and also, been in the fight with the rat-kin and Ubermaus. Losing the war hadn't taken away the accomplishment of killing the huge rat. There had been a short discussion about whether they should be let into the barracks to claim their loot. While there was still some bad blood, anyone who had been there knew they would have all been dead if not for everyone working together to fight the common foe. It helped that Brandon hadn't been among them.

Ozzy had been delighted to see Makken walking into the barracks. The dwarf was smoking his pipe as he came. "I brought the rest of the peppers I promised you." He eyed the huge chest. "Hmm, I take it something big came through? And here I was thinking your houses just fell down in a stiff breeze." He took a seat on a chunk of rubble to watch the show.

Zephyr had been nominated to go first, as the youngest person there. She was fast becoming friends with all of the workers, and the fact that she and her family had stayed to help them win the war wasn't something most of them would forget. She nervously approached the chest and opened the lid. She held up a metal stave that widened to a diameter of 5" for the last foot of it's length.

Boom Stick of the Battle Alchemist

This sturdy metal staff increases the power of all explosions caused by alchemical concoctions by 20%. Four potions may be loaded into the wide end of the staff and stored. Stored potions may be fired one per round, creating a loud booming noise. The potion will be propelled to a distance of 150' in a flat trajectory, or something gets in the way. Potions will not break inside the staff. The staff also makes a handy weapon to bash in skulls with. If used with the Staff skill, it does +20 damage.

Adrianna put her foot down. "Absolutely not. We have a lot of cleaning up to do before get tangled up in dungeons. But maybe later tonight we can go out and find a few rat-kin that are roaming around."

Aliester and his wife went next. He received a fancy potion pouch. His eyes got wide as he examined it. "Oh My! This is a storage device. It holds 64 potions! Astounding."

Adrianna was happy with her treasure as well. Four large bolts of magical cloth had her smiling and planning sewing projects.

The rest of the workers went up one by one. Jorges slowly walked away hugging his Dwarf-Forged Self-heating Anvil +2. Makken had seen such things before. He explained to the blacksmith that not only would the anvil heat the metal he was pounding to save time reheating the metal in the forge, he would effectively be 3 levels higher in his smithing skill while using it. The dwarf had a talk with Layla, letting her know he'd pay top dollar if ACME came into possession of any type of magical hoe or cooking pot.

Jon and Cham arm wrestled to see who would go next, and as they did Betty skipped them to claim her loot. Dying had hit her pretty hard. Getting slowly crushed by a ton of stone wasn't something she was going to forget soon. "If this chest gives me something dumb like a sword magical helmet, I'm going to be upset. You better give me something I can use, you overgrown cooking pot." Whether the chest heard her or not was debated hotly later. She was quite pleased with what she was given. It appeared to be a well-made wooden bucket.

"Oh, this I can use. Thank you." She patted the chest affectionately. When asked, she explained it was a bucket for milking animals and that it would hold up to 100 gallons of fresh milk, even if from multiple types of animals.

Jon got a toy wagon. After experimenting with it for a bit, he found that it could be commanded to enlarge to a full-size wagon, and would follow him around without need for a horse. Cham was all smiles for a second when he got an ax. It was a beautiful tool with a broad head made out of mithril and a handle made from ironwood. He was less happy when he tried it out on a beam of wood from the rubble. The axe bounced off the wood without leaving a mark.

              Stone Cleaver Ax

For when you're tired of chopping boring things like wood.

Shrugging, Cham brought it down lightly onto a large stone block that had been part of the walls. The axe hit the stone, there was a loud 'crack' and the stone block broke neatly in two.

Themis strode up to the chest. She had an assortment of magical weapons already but was as curious to see what she got as the others. Tier 4 chests weren't that easy to come by even when you had achieved Tier 4 yourself. She pulled out a 10-foot-long spear with a beautiful leaf bladed point over 2 foot long. She whistled as she identified it.

          Thorn-Runed Spear of Deadly Ground

Base 60% to hit. Base 150 damage.

Spell: Runic Thorns. Mana Cost 300. The spear casts forth a spray of projectiles in a 30-degree arc, 50' long doing damage as a longbow to anyone in the area of effect.

Spell: Deadly Ground. Mana Cost 500. Casting Time: 10 minutes. One area of ground equal to a square acre sprouts sharp thorns equal in damage to caltrops. Troops moving through the area will take damage to their feet and soon be unable to move. Calvary charges will be stopped.

Themis cradled it like a baby, running her hand down the wooden shaft. "Oh, you and I are going to be best friends. I can only imagine how this is going to let me ruin someone’s day.

On and on the loot flowed. Much of it was crafting material, money, and odd tools that the workers could use. A few things got handed over to Layla, but overall, most of the items could be used. Money of course was always greeted with cheer.

Suzette got a leather bag that clinked as it dropped to the ground. Inside were 100 gold coins. "Well, that doesn't suck. Too bad we don't have anywhere to go shopping. Ozzy promised to take her up to the keep and its gaggle of merchants as soon as they could manage it.

When it was Ben's turn, the chest coughed up a small cloak.

            Half Cloak of the Wandering Gentleman

This stylish cloak will look good whether you are on the road, or heading to the opera. It has powerful enchantments that will protect against inclement weather. Never fear the rain again and sneer at tornadoes.

Rolly read the description. "I suggest testing that thing a bit Ben. It only says you can sneer at a tornado, not that it protects against one." Ben didn't like that idea at all. "Point taken."

For his part, Rolly pulled out a magnificent long sword. He flourished it around before leaping up on some rubble and shouting. "Fear not my fellow laborers. I swear to defend our home from all foes monstrous or corporate!" The sword glowed like the sun before bursting into white-hot flames.

            Fabled Sword of Mighty Deeds

The power of this weapon is only exceeded by the zeal of its wielder.

Rolly looked at it and exclaimed, "Oh, neat. I bet this thing is great for cooking a steak." He sheathed it and hopped down from the rubble. Sir Timothy was standing, eyes wide and mouth open.

Ozzy took his turn. From somewhere a voice rang out.

"Better than Mr. Microphone! Easier to use than a Cap Snaffler! More fun than the Pocket Fisherman! Be the first on your block to own the newest Ronco product: Instant Stump! That's Right, it's Instant Stump, just what you've always wanted! How many times have you needed to butcher some poor animals you just slaughtered but didn't have your stump handy to work with? Well, no more! The folks at Ronco have put our magical-sealteam-scientists to work to invent the latest in teleporting emergency products! Just mark the ground with an 'X', break the magic pencil, and stand back! Your Stump will be dropping from the sky in just a second!

But wait! There's more! We're including a set of Ginzu Choppers! They're double-edged blades made from recycled airship propellers can cut through just about anything a cleaver can normally cut! But twice as fast and they weigh half as much! And they're free for shopping at Ronco!

Two small cleavers and a carpenter’s pencil clattered to the ground. Ozzy put them in his apron and shouted "next!"

The players went next, gaining an assortment of magical armor and weapons and generally quite pleased with the outcome. The exception being Sir Timothy. He got a bone. He waved it in the air and it turned into a small ham with the bone protruding 6" out of the small end of the meat.

            Plentiful Ham of Multiple Servings

Never run out of Ham again! Seven times a day this bone will summon a five-pound ham for your eating pleasure!

Rolly leaped over the crowd and ran up to the paladin. "OMG...That's awesome. I'll trade you for my sword."

Timmy stared from the enchanted ham, to the sword, and then to Rolly. "You can't be serious...?"

Rolly looked sad. "You're right bad trade. How about I throw in some money, and two healing potions?" He pulled a handful of copper and silver coins out of his pocket along with two potions.

Timmy grabbed the scabbarded sword and shook Rolly's hand. "You drive a hard bargain. Deal."

Outside the barracks, a crack opened in the ground, spewing sulfurous air and sparks. A large form rose out of it and looked around. "Wow. What a dump. How humans live in this squalor is beyond me. Even rat-kin have more pride in their cities." He took a puff on his cigar and tossed it to the ground. "Not that I give two cherub-farts. Time to collect a year’s payment on this contract and be on my way."

Leroy was a firm believer in not quitting until the last leg was broken and the last payment collected. He prided himself on being a professional in one of the oldest professions.

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