The Black Swan Behind (Beauty of Fire)

119 The Fate

Emma was not a girl with no feelings. But she was a girl who hid her feelings. All this time, it was not that Emma didn’t miss her mother who was always understand and accompanied her whenever she got into trouble. She just pretended that she was able to move forward from the good memories of her mother. But when serious problems approached her, it would be the time for Emma to stared missing the person who was usually by her side to give her a warm hug.

“Mom.. If you were still living, I wouldn’t have chosen this path. If you were still by my side, I would have a real family, like the others.” She mumbled before burying her face in the knees she was hugging.

“I miss you, Mom. I don’t know what to do. What should I do?” Emma muttered to herself as her body shivered from the cold inside and outside she was feeling.

She didn’t know how much time had passed. Emma was just making up her mind, allowing the side of herself that she had always kept tightly closed to open and take a breath of the outside, just for a moment.

Suddenly, she felt something heavy pressed against her head. Then, she raised her hand above her head and held a fairly large lump of snow perched on it. Slowly, she raised her face as she took it. It was cone-shaped snow that looked like a birthday hat. Emma immediately turned to the side, to find a pair of shiny brown loafers standing next to her.

“Y-you?” Emma stammered when she saw the face of a male figure was looking at her with a confused look. Emma woke up and hastily wiped the tears that were running down her face.

Levi sighed softly and then smiled lopsidedly, “Even though I purposely came early in the morning to be alone here, still, I met you in the end.” He said, sitting down next to Emma.

Emma turned her face the other way. She felt very embarrassed because Levi was caught her crying. No one should ever see her weak side. She tried to catch her breath and continued to clean her face which must have looked puffy.

“It seems this place is indeed suitable for calming the mind. I guess I’m the only one who thinks so.” Levi muttered with a glance at Emma for a moment. The girl kept her back to him. Levi understood that a girl with a high ego like Emma would not like it when people saw her in such a state.

.....

“Letting go of some tears doesn’t mean you’re weak. Even a newborn should cry as a sign that it’s healthy.” Levi mumbled again.

Hearing what Levi said, Emma then turned to him for a moment. Then, she returned her gaze to the front by occasionally brushing the snow off her head.

“No need to return this. I don’t want to use second-hand stuff,” Levi handed a handkerchief to the girl beside him who sounded busy pulling her snot.

Emma took the blue handkerchief and used it to wipe her nose and tears.

The two people who met again by chance didn’t talk to each other anymore. It seemed Levi was trying to respect Emma who was gloomy. Levi also came to that place because he had a problem with his mind. Without realizing it, it seemed that their original agreement at that time had become a common thread that kept the two of them together.

“Why are you here?” Emma asked after a long time they both sat in silence, enjoying each other’s atmosphere.

“I guess, it was the same as yours,” Levi answered. “Cool air. Pure white scenery.. Is the best medicine for a troubled mind, right?”

Emma shook her head, “Not really. I don’t like snow, actually. But somehow.. this place feels comfortable. For some reason, I instinctively came here instead.”

Levi smiled faintly, “Could it be that we are looking for something in this place?” he muttered to himself.

“Do you always come here?” Emma asked, turning to him.

Levi nodded, “This is a place.. where I see my other side. A place where I can think about myself only.”

Emma nodded in understanding. Then, looked back at the front, “Sorry, I have to cry in front of you. I thought.. I won’t find anyone here.”

“Maybe I should be the one who apologizes for seeing a side of you that you don’t want to show other people.”

Emma immediately turned to the man with a surprised face.

“What? It’s not hard to see what kind of person you are.” Levi also looked at Emma. Then, his expression softened, “Maybe I understand because I’m like that too.”

“Seems like you’re right,” Emma looked down, “Why do we have to live like this? Trying to look strong. Putting the ego first.”

“Sometimes, the thing we think is the thing we want is actually the thing we hate. But in the end, we manage to fool ourselves.” Levi said.

“What’s bothering you, Levi? Why did you come here?” Emma asked flatly. Maybe, if she heard the stories about other people’s problems would make her mind realize that she was not the only one who was suffering, so that the problem she was facing would feel lighter. That way, she would feel that the world had treated her fairly.

Levi took a deep breath. In fact, he wasn’t the type of person who would share his problems with other people. But somehow with this girl named Emma, ??he couldn’t help but open his mouth.

Every time he told Emma a little about his problems, it was as if the weight that was piling on his shoulders could be reduced by half. Perhaps, it was due to the feeling of security between them. The fact that the two of them were strangers who didn’t know each other’s life at all, made the two of them never worry about being judged.

“This is a problem at work. I made a mistake that hurt some people. Even so.. I still have to pretend that it wasn’t a mistake, so that other people don’t think it was wrong. With the privilege I have, I insisted to say that I was right, so that everyone would say the same.”

Emma looked at Levi with a straight face, “That was a very selfish thing to do.”

Levi nodded, “I know. It’s something I have to do. Even though my heart hurt, I have to keep smiling. Therefore, don’t think that you are alone in hiding your feelings in this world.” he smiled at the girl beside him.

Emma, ??who was still showing a gloomy face, finally smiled too. She knew the annoying Levi was comforting her.

When someone who used to make you angry, now made you smile, the feeling of happiness that was generated seems to be doubled. It was true what Emma had expected. Levi was a good man.

“Thanks, Levi. Now I don’t feel alone anymore.” Emma replied. She knew it must be hard for him to admit his weakness in front of Emma. But he still did it anyway just to cheer her up.

“Then, what’s bothering you?” Levi asked, looking at Emma.

“Hmm..” She looked up at the sky which was getting brighter. Unknowingly, the snow had stopped falling. “I have a secret that I’ve been keeping very tight. However, in order to do what I think is right, in the end, someone knew my secret. Maybe after this, people would see me in a different way. I feel helpless and scared.” Emma explained. Slowly, her tears fell again, which she quickly wiped away. “At this time, I miss my late mother. That’s what makes me unable to hold back tears. The sadder I get, the angrier and disappointed I am at my weak self.” she continued.

“Fear, helplessness, and sadness are really annoying. But it’s a natural feeling that every human being has. I could get through it. But I don’t know what about you.” Levi smiled mischievously.

Emma immediately put on an annoyed face, “Do you think I can’t?” she challenged.

Levi immediately chuckled. With a seemingly heavy burden, Emma was still a young woman with an unstable ego. Levi was happy that Emma’s reaction was what he expected.

“Then prove it,” He said.

“You’re just one point ahead of me, Levi. It’s best not to feel so superior.” Emma bent her face.

“Hm?” Levi’s face turned confused. He looked at Emma questioningly.

“Well.. Despite having burdens, you still have your mother and brother by your side. You are lucky because your family is by your side and supports you. I think.. a mother’s love is what a child needs most. Someone who risked her life to give birth to you and take care of you until you grow up. They are a symbol of true love.” Emma said.

Emma’s explanation made Levi pause for a moment before he finally nodded, “You seem to be very close to your mom to even think like that.”

“Of course. Unlike you and your brother who are very indifferent. If my mom were still alive, I certainly wouldn’t ignore her for a second. Unfortunately, fate said otherwise..” Emma replied sadly.

“It’s what fate does. It’s you who think only the beautiful side of it.” Levi laughed as he stood up. “Let’s go,”

Emma frowned, “Let’s go where?” she also stood up from the pile of snow.

“We’re eating. Your stomach’s been making a lot of noise.” Levi answered without stopping his steps.

‘Oh.. I just realized that I’m hungry because I haven’t had breakfast before I’ve gone here. Very embarrassing!’ Emma said in her heart.

“You didn’t bring a car, did you?” Levi asked by pressing his car key to make the blue car beep with the lights flashing a few times.

Emma nodded, then got into the front passenger seat at Levi’s signal for her to come in before opening the driver’s door himself.

“Where are we going to eat?” Emma asked.

“Hmm..” Levi rubbed his chin with a finger, then looked at Emma, “You decide,”

“Me?” Emma pointed at her own face.

Levi nodded, “I just remembered that I had rarely eaten outside.”

“Are you serious?” Emma asked, getting a casual nod from Levi.

“Um.. Actually, I know a place that serves quite good seafood menu. But it’s a bit far from here. Do you know Redvalley street?” Emma asked.

“Redvalley?” Levi repeated with a pause for a few seconds. Then he nodded, “Of course, I know. Let’s go there.”

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