The Beautiful Monster

Elias shook his head as he took a step back from her. He looked tense.

"Forget it. I have to go," he said as he started to make his way toward the door of her dorm.

Alyssa reached out and grabbed his arm, stopping him in place. He couldn't just leave like that. They were having a conversation. Well, more like an argument, but they weren't finished yet.

"Why won't you tell me anything?" she asked him. Her words came out quieter than she meant for them to.

She was faced with the issue of her own boyfriend, the person who she loved, gradually shutting her out of his life. She was worried that he would shut her out altogether.

Elias' face softened for a mere second, like the curtain came down at that moment, but the vulnerability didn't last. He narrowed his eyes at her.

"Because it doesn't concern you. I respect your privacy. Can you please respect mine?" he asked. His expression shifted into a pleading one.

Alyssa lowered her eyes, wondering if she had pushed him too far. At the end of the day, he was right.

It was his privacy that she was trying to invade, and she wouldn't want anyone pressuring her to reveal things that she wasn't comfortable with talking about.

Just because he was her boyfriend didn't change that situation.

"Yes. Sorry," she said with a nod. She had to back off of him. He was obviously stressed about Scott and his family.

Just because she became comfortable enough to talk to him about her own family drama early on didn't mean that it would be the same for him. She couldn't expect that of him.

Elias nodded back before sighing.

"I love you. I have to go," he said. He stepped forward and pressed a faint kiss against her forehead before leaving her alone in her dorm.

The sound of the door closing behind him echoed throughout the room as Alyssa turned to stare at the candle.

She still couldn't shake the thought of how weird it was for the candle to flare so wildly. No rational idea came to mind, but she couldn't think of anything irrational either.

But why worry about a candle when the real issue was the tension between her and Elias lately?

The communication between them had been awful, and she wanted to fix that before it negatively affected their relationship even more. If she wanted him, which she did, she had to try harder and fight harder for them.

With a sigh, she walked to the bathroom with a lingering frown on her face. She would still take her bath and try to relax after everything that had been happening lately, but she had a feeling that she wouldn't light another candle for quite a while.

***********

Every move of Alyssa's was nearly robotic as she prepared the exam room for the next patient.

She walked over to the cabinet near the examination table and checked all of the supplies, ensuring there was enough of everything.

When she got to medical school, she wouldn't have to do so much administrative and busy work.

She would be far more involved with the patients, but she knew that she had to pay her due diligence. Everyone had to start somewhere.

Alyssa wasn't thinking about medical school, though. She was thinking about seeing Elias tonight.

He still had been a little distant since he confronted her about Scott, but he did text her and ask her to come over to his place tonight. Maybe things would go back to normal soon.

She only had so much of her undergraduate college career left, and she wanted to enjoy every day that she had left as much as she could.

She wouldn't be able to get this time back. So far, the last semester of her senior year had been mostly stressful, but she wanted to look back on this time fondly one day.

So, she would go over to Elias' place tonight and try to get them back on track. Then, everything else would gradually fall into place.

She just had to have a lot of patience. As she grew older, that came harder and harder to come by.

She wanted things to work out as soon as possible so that she didn't have to worry about them any longer. Worrying was torture.

Alyssa checked the time, seeing that it was almost the end of her shift. A relieved sigh drifted from her as she closed her eyes for a second.

Truthfully, she was exhausted. Some days, she didn't know how she juggled it all, but she was determined on getting where she wanted to go.

After all of the loneliness and disappointment that she experienced growing up, she figured that getting to achieve her dreams would make up for all of that.

Why would she focus on how bad her past was when her future was so bright? She would be everything that her parents thought that she could never be, and she could become everything that she ever wanted for herself.

That was why she kept going, despite everything that threatened to crush her.

Alyssa rolled her neck a few times, rubbing at the tension in the back of it before walking out of the examination room. She headed down the hall toward Dr. Shields as he walked and read a chart.

"Exam room 2 is prepped and ready," she told him as she stopped in front of him.

Dr. Shields stopped and looked up from the chart at her.

"Good. Got your groove back? I don't want to waste your potential for too much longer on mediocre tasks," he said as he eyed her.

Alyssa lifted her chin and nodded, feeling relieved to hear that he finally wanted to let her back near the patients again.

He had basically grounded her this week after she jabbed that patient's arm over and over. She never wanted to keep messing up like that again.

"I'm ready," she assured him. She already felt like she was behind the other students learning here, who got to work with the patients. It was embarrassing having to be left behind to do little tasks.

She needed to be out on the front lines with the patients if she wanted to learn what she needed to.

Dr. Shields offered her a faint smile before nodding.

"See you on Monday," he told her before walking off down the hallway.

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