Taming the Queen of Beasts

AARYN

Aaryn swallowed hard, and forced himself to read the rest of the letter from his dead father.

…THERE IS ONE THING I SEE IN THE PEOPLE OF OUR TRIBE NOW THAT GRIEVES ME, AND THAT IS….THAT WE AS A TRIBE ARE BEGINNING TO SHIFT BLAME. WE ARE SEEING OURSELVES AS VICTIMS WHERE WE HAVE ONLY HAD TO DEAL WITH DIFFICULTY.

NO ONE IS ALWAYS RIGHT. NO ONE IS ALWAYS NOBLE.

BUT SOMETIMES, SOMEONE ELSE IS BETTER. AND SOMETIMES WE SHOULD BE THAT PERSON.

WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH MATING, YOU ASK?

I'M GOING TO TELL YOU THE KEY TO A SUCCESSFUL MATING LIFE. AND YOU AREN'T GOING TO WANT TO HEAR IT. BUT IT IS TRUE. AND I CHALLENGE YOU NOT ONLY TO REMEMBER IT, BUT TO LIVE IT:

BE THE BETTER PERSON.

NOT JUST IN A MOMENT. NOT JUST ONE TIME. ALWAYS.

IF YOU WANT TO HAVE THE DEEPEST AND BEST KIND OF LOVE IN YOUR LIFE, BE THE ONE WHO IS WILLING TO BE HURT AND KEEP COMING BACK. BE THE MALE WHO IS WILLING TO BE LET DOWN, BUT STILL HOLDS HIMSELF ACCOUNTABLE TO DO WHAT HE SAID HE WOULD DO.

FORGIVE.

FORGIVE.

FORGIVE.

NEVER ASK YOURSELF IF IT'S WORTH IT, OR IF SHE DESERVES IT. ALWAYS LOVE, ALWAYS OFFER, ALWAYS GIVE.

HERE IS THE THING NO ONE TOLD ME, THAT I HAD TO LEARN BY ACCIDENT: WHEN YOU LOVE HER EVEN WHEN SHE DOESN'T DESERVE IT, SHE WILL LOVE YOU BETTER.

HERE IS THE OTHER IMPORTANT PART THOUGH: LOVE DOES NOT MEAN GIVING SOMEONE WHAT THEY WANT. IT MEANS GIVING THEM WHAT IS BEST FOR THEM. ALWAYS. WHAT WILL HELP THEM IN THE LONG RUN. WHAT WILL MAKE THEIR LIFE BETTER—EVEN IF IT'S A STRUGGLE.

SOMETIMES WE NEED TO STRUGGLE, SON. SOMETIMES WE HAVE TO DO THE HARD THING BECAUSE WITHOUT IT, WE WILL NEVER TAKE THAT IMPORTANT STEP, OR LEARN THAT LESSON, OR MAKE THAT CHANGE.

AND SOMETIMES THE HARD THING IS PRESSED ON US BY SOMEONE ELSE. IF YOU HAVE A TRUE MATE, WHO ACTUALLY CARES FOR YOU, THAT DOES NOT MEAN THEY WILL NEVER HURT YOU. BE WILLING TO FORGIVE. ASK TO BE FORGIVEN WHEN IT'S YOUR TURN.

DON'T LET ANYONE ELSE TELL YOU THAT THERE IS A LINE TO BE DRAWN BETWEEN MALE AND FEMALE. DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU THERE IS A LINE TO BE DRAWN BETWEEN TRIBES. DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU THAT IT'S NOT YOUR JOB.

LOVING YOUR MATE, PROTECTING HER, PROVIDING FOR HER, AND CELEBRATING HER IS ALWAYS YOUR JOB.

AND YOU ARE HERS.

THAT'S WHERE THE TRUE BEAUTY IS FOUND. IF YOU HAVE A MATE WHO LOVES YOU IN THIS WAY, THE TWO OF YOU WILL BE UNSTOPPABLE.

I PRAY THAT FOR YOU, SON, I PRAY I HAVE HAD THE CHANCE TO LIVE THESE THINGS IN FRONT OF YOU SO THAT YOU ALREADY KNOW THIS TRUTH. BUT IF NOT, IF I HAVEN'T BEEN THERE, OR YOU HAVEN'T LISTENED, LISTEN NOW.

LOVE GIVES.

LOVE WAITS.

LOVE ENDURES.

LOVE IS FAITHFUL.

LOVE LOVES, EVEN WHEN LOVE IS NOT RETURNED. ESPECIALLY IN THE MOMENT THAT LOVE IS NOT RETURNED.

I PRAY THIS DAY YOU ARE ABOUT TO MEET IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND FULFILLING OF YOUR LIFE. I PRAY YOU ARE ABOUT THE SHARE THE JOY I FELT WHEN I TOOK YOUR MOTHER—AND LATER WHEN WE HAD YOU.

BUT REGARDLESS, REMEMBER: LOVE. ALWAYS LOVE. LOVE FOR HER BEST, NOT FOR HER EASIEST. AND LOVE HER FOR YOUR OWN SOUL. BECAUSE YOU'LL FIND OUT VERY QUICKLY, TRUE MATES OR NOT, SHE IS ALREADY A PART OF IT. AND HARMING HER, JUST HARMS YOU.

LOVE, SON. JUST LOVE.

I LOVE YOU,

DAD.

The last words blurred with the tears that made his throat pinch and his nose run. He tried to push them away, but he couldn't.

This was the father he'd always wanted. This was the male he'd wanted to follow, to learn from, to live with.

What had happened to this male? What had happened to this wolf who wrote him a letter about the most important day of his life and didn't even mention his disformation?

What had happened to this male who had fathered him? And why had he been drawn to such a dark end?

Aaryn had never really let himself think about his dad. He'd trained himself for as long as he could remember not to think about him. Not to associate with him. Not to need him. He'd refused to talk to his mother about him because he didn't want to miss him. He didn't want to feel the loss.

But reading this, and the way it fed something within him that yawned wide, and empty, screaming to be filled… his appetite for his father was suddenly ravenous. He didn't just want to know the male, he needed him.

And he couldn't have him.

It was the pain he'd been trying to avoid his whole life, and it was as if he were suddenly cut down the middle and his guts spilled out.

He needed his dad. Here. Today. And tomorrow. He needed the hand that was older, and stronger, and could see around the corners that Aaryn didn't even know were coming.

He needed him to be there, and set him down, and make him submit. And he needed him to applaud and to cheer, and to laugh in celebration.

He needed his dad, and he couldn't have him.

Aaryn was startled by a sudden coughing cry, then realized it came from himself. From deep within himself. A groaning call of grief and injustice and rage.

Suddenly so full of hot, demanding anger that he could barely see straight, Aaryn shoved the pages into the satchel, ignoring the wallet his mother had given him, and the scent on it that he knew was his father's.

"Why did you do this now?!" he cried hoarsely into the growing dark. "Why didn't you bring me this years ago? Why didn't you show up sooner? Why break me now?!"

His shoulders sagged under the weight of his grief and the feeling he'd always feared, always tried to avoid, became a tidal wave, crashing over him, burying him, pounding him from every side.

His father was gone.

He needed his father, and his father was gone.

And he was never coming back.

Aaryn howled into the branches of the Weeping Tree, his face pointed to the sky. And across the wildwood, wolves howled back. 

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