Taming the Queen of Beasts

AARYN

The morning after the disformed meet with Elreth, Aaryn walked downstairs in his home, his steps dragging because he'd had very little sleep. He was startled by the sounds of dishes clinking in the kitchen.

It couldn't be his mother because he'd just checked on her on the way down and she was finally asleep after being awake most of the night, wailing, or muttering to herself.

So he trotted down the stairs and through the living area to the dining room, to find Eadhye pulling dishes from the cupboards overhead, and with a pot on the stove, the heat from the fire inside it warming that end of the room.

"Good morning, Aaryn," she said, her still-mostly-brown hair at conflict with her wrinkled cheeks.

"Good morning?" he said, rubbing his hand over his face. "What's… what's going on?"

"You're late to get up—a hard night I imagine. I have come to stay with your mother, to give her some support, and to manage her through the process. The herbs haven't helped her step out of this cycle yet, so I believe she's in need of more intensive care. And you are going to be a very busy male, so I thought, if you don't mind, I'll move in for a while. Stay with her. Help her through. Maybe there is somewhere you can stay for a few weeks? A… friend, perhaps?"

Aaryn blinked, his heart leaping with thoughts of nights with Elreth, but immediately plunging. He couldn't leave his mother in this state!

"I… I mean, yes, I could. But I don't think I should. She needs me right now."

"Actually, Aaryn, that's what I wanted to discuss with you. I apologize for just waltzing in, but I wanted to get started and I knew you were sleeping. Why don't we sit down for a moment. There's something I'd like to share with you."

He was a little uncomfortable with being invited to sit down in his own home, but the wise-women all seemed to be that way, immediately taking control of whatever room they happened to be in. And besides, he was still wiping sleep from his eyes. He didn't have the energy to fight. So he joined her at the dining table, sitting across from her.

She was a softly beautiful older female—someone who would have turned heads in her youth, he imagined. But had she never found a mate? If she was proposing staying here—

"You're a male, and a smart one, so I won't trouble you with the lengthy stories I could tell about how I share some of your experience with this—and have since nursed many of our females through this kind of affliction. But please trust me, I have seen this before. Many times. And there's two things I think it's important for you to know.

"The first is that this isn't your fault. I'm certain since you went through this when you were a pup, you harbor some fear or concern that she either fell into this because of you, or that somehow you should have brought her out of it. I know I did when I was your age. But I am here to tell you that that is not the case. What afflicts your mother is a condition of the soul. And she would have fallen into it whether you existed or not. So please, if you are plagued with thoughts of your own responsibility, don't be."

Aaryn swallowed and sat back in the chair. "I… I guess I do feel some… thank you," he said faintly.

She nodded. "The second is that, though you are not responsible for this, it is true that your presence can make it worse."

Aaryn blinked. "What?"

"Your mother, whether she shows it well or not, loves you and feels a sense of responsibility for you. But right now she is overwhelmed. Her soul is dying. Every time she sees you she is reminded of her weakness and her failure. She attempts at times to pull herself up, or through, to help you. But as soon as you are no longer looking those efforts only exhaust her and she falls deeper into this.

"I know the thought will feel uncomfortable, but I believe the very best thing you could do would be to leave her with me for the next week, at least, possibly more. In the event that it's healthy for her to see you, I will of course immediately let you know. But for now, let her be the one taken care of, instead of feeling like she should be taking care. Even that small respite may take a large step toward her recovery. But even if it does not, I can tell you from experience, it will give her soul a rest and help her make strides in other directions."

"But… but she'll think I don't care—"

"No, she won't. She knows you love her, Aaryn. She has expressed that to me many times already. She is well aware of how she failed you when you were pup. It weighs on her. If she were to know that you were out, living your life, growing in your…friendships, I believe that would help her focus her energies on healing and finding the answers she needs, rather than wasting it worrying about you."

Aaryn eyed her warily. The older lioness sighed with a sad smile. "I know it is hard, I know you wish to carry this, Aaryn, but you cannot. You are not equipped to handle it. I am. And when I have been able to help her reach a place where she can be a mother again, I will hurry you back to her. I promise."

They discussed it back and forth for almost an hour, Aaryn forming his arguments, but knowing that, deep down, he hoped she had answers for them all. And she did.

She did.

An hour later he found himself packing a bag in his room, offering his bed to her, and then standing in front of her, shuffling his feet because he wanted nothing more than to rush out and find Elreth. But he felt that to step out of the house was to betray his mother.

Eadhye reached up to place a soft hand on his shoulder and met his eyes. "You are a good son, Aaryn. She speaks highly of you. And I see how you watch over her. The very best thing you can do for her now is let me help her without interruption or distraction. Do you believe me?"

"I guess I have to?"

She smiled broadly then. "Yes, yes you do."

They stared at each other a moment, then he sighed and, on a whim, hugged her. She seemed surprised, but pleased.

"Thank you," he murmured in her ear. "I didn't know what to do."

"You're welcome," she replied. "I'm going to do my best to bring her back to you."

"Thank you," he said again, then pulled out her arms and picked up his bag, walked out of the room and didn't look back, because if he did, he would cry and he was far too old for that now.

Instead, he rolled his shoulders back, walked out of the Tree House, and started toward the trail to the royal cave.

Whether Elreth was there or not, he needed to be in the quiet.

And he needed to have his heart lifted by the thought of not having to miss her anymore.

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