As an afterthought, I took Teddy out and stood him in front of me. He was eight feet tall, so it was quite easy to hide behind him. He also blocked most of the elevator's doorway. The elevator dinged softly and the doors opened.
“Hello, there! A-huh!” I said in the worst possible accent I could muster and waved one of Teddy's arms. “What can I do for you agents? A-huh!”
“Uh... you can... step aside?” One of them said, as if unsure what to say.
“I'm sorry! You're interrupting my party! I can't allow that! A-huh!”
“Just push it aside.” Someone else said.
Thanks to the Detect spell and my zoomed in Map, I saw one of them reach for the bear. I swung Teddy's arm at him as I switched the spent Detect ring for a different one and cast Lionel's Force Push spell to hit the man's hand away. It was the very last ring I had enchanted. I really needed to buy more.
“Don't touch! A-huh!” I said. “You can't manhandle me, I'm a bear! A-huh!”
The agents all stood there, shocked at what just happened.
“You better leave before I call my magician friend! A-huh! He doesn't like party crashers, either!”
“What... friend is that?” One of them asked, which I thought was quite brave of them.I used another Detect spell for hidden cameras and things and saw they had a bunch of them. I stored them all. “He means me.” I said and stored Teddy. The look of pure shock on their faces was absolutely priceless, so I stored their weapons, IDs, handcuffs, cell phones, and keys. I even had enough time to take a picture with my own cell phone. That took a couple of them out of their shock.
“Sir, you are wanted for questioning in a serious matter.” One of them said.
“By who?” I asked and he didn't answer. “No, thanks. You can go back to your boss and tell him to suck my...”
“Sir. You are coming with us.” Another said.
“I don't think so. There's only twelve of you.” I said and a few of them exchanged glances.
“Please don't resist.” One of them said.
“Or what? You'll handcuff me? With what?” I asked and all twelve of them reached for their belt loops where the handcuffs used to be. “Maybe you better draw your gun on an unarmed civilian instead.” I suggested and they all reached for the spot their holstered guns used to be. “Isn't mass hypnotism a wonderful thing?”
The twelve men exchanged glances and looked back at me.
“You never know what could happen.” I said. “Oh! Here's Teddy again!” I popped Teddy beside me and put my arm around him. “Hi, buddy! Say hello to the idiots.”
“Hi idiots! A-huh!” I said in the horrible accent and made Teddy's arm move.
“He can pop in and out of your consciousness as many times as I want.” I said and Teddy disappeared. “The mind is a funny thing when you learn to manipulate it.” I said and then whispered. “Once I'm in your head, I'm in there... forever.”
The agents gave me wide-eyed looks at my words.
“I suggest going back to your offices and stop bothering me, because I won't be so nice next time.” I warned them. “You do not want me to stop being nice.”
“You can't threaten an FBI agent and get away with it.” One of them said, his anger overriding his fear.
“It's not a threat. A threat would be telling you that I know where you live and I'll be sure to have Teddy come and visit you if you bother me again.” I said and three of them looked angry. “I'd direct that anger at your boss, or whoever told you to come here. They knew what would happen and they sent you anyway. It's their fault, not mine.”
“You can't honestly think that you can get away from the FBI.” The same angry man said.
“Get away? What for?” I asked. “Do I look like I'm running?”
“You've committed crimes that...”
“Your government stole a hundred million dollars in gold coins from me, besides a lot of other money in my accounts that they emptied. Your fellow agents committed crimes against me, as did the NSA and Secret Service. I'm neither running nor ignoring what happened, so you can go back to your boss and tell him that I am taking my revenge on this country's government as soon as I can.”
The twelve men just stared at me and didn't respond.
“Before you think you've just gathered damning evidence against me, you might want to check your hidden cameras. Oh! What's that, Teddy?” I asked and made Teddy appear beside me. “You took them already? Oh, you scamp!”
The men checked their pockets and a few let out sighs.
“Have a great day, gentlemen.” I said and looked at the one holding the door open.
He looked a little scared, so I tossed Teddy at him and stored it just before he hit. “AH!” The man yelled and jumped back, as did two others. “Did you see that? He... he...”
The elevator door closed and cut off whatever he was going to say.
I took Teddy out and pat his head. “Thanks a lot, buddy. You did a great job.” I said and stored him and went to the apartment. I unlocked the door and Nat was right there listening. “How much did you hear?”
“Most of it.” Nat said. “You really shouldn't antagonize them like that.”
I smiled. “Wait until they get downstairs and see that their cars are gone.”
“You didn't!” Nat said loudly and ran to the window. “They're gone!”
“I got their keys, too.” I said. “Hey, Nat. Do you want an FBI vehicle with the hidden lights and siren on it and everything?”
Nat gave me a surprised look for a second, then she burst out laughing. “I do not want to be pulled over for having stolen federal property, thanks.”
“I'll have to keep my promise and buy you one, then.” I chuckled and then pointed down.
We both watched as all twelve agents swarmed over the spots where the six cars used to be. They darted all over the place to see if the cars would reappear somehow.
“I don't know how they can look so hard at an empty space.” I said.
Nat laughed. “I can't believe they bought that whole hypnosis bit, too!”
“The mind sometimes needs a plausible explanation, even if it's a lie.” I responded.
Nat gave me a concerned look. “Damon...”
“Yeah, I know.” I said. “We better go if we want to get actual food for the kids to eat.”
“What about the comedy troupe down below?” Nat asked as we left the apartment.
I cast the lock spell on the door and switched the ring out instantly. “Service elevator.”
Nat nodded and we rode down to the ground floor and left through the back of the building. We walked next door to the parking garage and climbed into the car, then drove out the front. It was a bit funny to see them all gesturing to the empty spaces, then one ran inside, I assumed to call someone.
“You're not going to give them their cars back, are you?” Nat asked.
“Oh, I will.” I said and gave her an evil grin. “You don't mind a quick trip by the FBI building downtown, do you?”
“Oh!” Nat gasped, then she started laughing. “Oh... oh, no... don't... that...” She laughed hard as tears rolled down her face. I couldn't help but laugh, too.
We went to the building in question and it was fairly busy with people. I used Search to get a map of the place and then Detect to see if there were any clear spots inside. I described it to Nat and she chose a conference room. I had to get out of the car and walked over to the building to get close enough, then I stored the large table and dropped two cars inside.
“That's two.” I said and had to move about fifty feet down the building. “You said the stairwell, right?”
“Y-y-y-yes!” Nat said between laughs. She couldn't even see me because her eyes were so tear filled.
“Okay.” I said and positioned it so that it would fit and let it go. A loud thump could be heard as it landed and slid a bit.
“BWAHAHAHA!” Nat laughed loudly.
I was running out of time, so I dropped one in an empty office, put the desk and the conference table out in the hallway, then had to run around the side of the building to reach an external stairwell. It let me get close enough to the shorter part of the roof and I dropped the other two cars there.
“Oh... god, oh... my god!” Nat kept laughing and I ran over to the car and climbed in.
I drove out of there with an hysterical Nat beside me and the both of us laughed our asses off. The guy at the drive-thru window could barely understand me when I ordered.
“Hey, are you two okay?” He asked as I pulled up to the window to pay.
“We're... fine! Just fine!” I said and handed him the money. We were still laughing when he handed over the food and I had to wipe my tears away before I could drive.
“Hooooo.” Nat sighed as she finally calmed down. “That prank was epic! EPIC!”
I handed her a box of tissues and she took some. “You don't know how happy I am that I have you here to share this with.”
“Me... me, too.” Nat said. “Now hurry up and give me my memories back.”
I barked a laugh. “I'm going as fast as I can, you know that.” I said. “I've been hiding so much from everyone about the things I can do and I'm not going to do that with you. I mean, it's almost unbelievable what I can do and no one except someone as awesome as you would accept it.”
Nat gave me a disbelieving look. “Are you saying if you found someone as awesome as me, you'd tell them everything, too?”
“No, I don't trust anyone else like I trust you.” I said. “I didn't even tell my sister a quarter of what I've told you.”
Nat fell silent for several seconds. “Maybe that's what happened between you.”
“No, it isn't.” I said and she gave me another disbelieving look. “I told her almost everything that happened to me the first time I was kidnapped, except for some of the harsher details, and the fact that I was in another world.”
“You did?” Nat asked, surprised.
“Yep. I told her about my struggles to get stronger, my constant fights to survive, and even killing people.”
Nat caught her breath. “You... you really do love her.”
I slowed the car down as I pulled over and came to a stop. “I've already told you that it's not the dirty version of me wanting to be intimate with her. It's just... I thought I would always have her by my side, and then...”
“...being taken again ruined everything.” Nat said and I nodded.
I stepped out of the car and took Teddy out of inventory and put him into the back seat. “I was so glad that I didn't tell Jenny everything, because she told the agents everything I had told her.”
“Damon, you know she was under a lot of pressure.”
“I understand perfectly what she went though. I know it was hard, because I know what it's like to not have a lot to eat, or have any money, or even a change of clothes.”
Nat didn't even have to think about it. “Your first kidnapping.”
“I started with nothing but the clothes on my back, which were still brand new and unseen in that world. I traded them for cheap common clothes and a good sword, then I got to work.” I got back in the car and sat behind the wheel.
“How long?” Nat asked.
“I was only 18 at the time and didn't have any clue how to be a hero.” I said and then chuckled. “After about a year or so, I finally bought my first full set of armor.”
“Oh, wow.” Nat whispered.
“It was great.” I said and pulled back out into the street to head to Crystal's school. “No more piecemeal armor plates for this guy. I was hooked. It was a full set or nothing from then on.”
“You worked a lot harder after that, didn't you?” Nat asked.
“I really wanted to get back home.” I glanced at her to see her nod. “It wasn't having to do the task I was assigned or getting to eat better food or even becoming stronger that kept me going. Those were all a means to an end. It was getting to go back home to my sweet little sister when it was all done. That's what mattered to me.” I said and turned into the school's parking lot. “That was my only motivation.”
“Then you did.” Nat said.
“Yes, and I found out that I was really gone for as long as I was. Ten years had passed on both worlds and I lost all of that time with her.”
“Now you're both different people.”
“Unfortunately.” I said and parked the car. “We both changed and I pretended we hadn't.”
“Well, love can make people do crazy things.” Nat said with a sad smile.
“Tell me about it.” I huffed and we got out of the car, then went inside the school to wait for Crystal to get out of class.
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