The next morning I checked out of the hotel and used my cell phone to look for a local used car dealership and found one several miles away. I wasn't wasting money on a taxi anymore and walked over to it. Luckily, there were several car lots all on the same street, so I had my choice of cars to buy. I knew which one I wanted, though. It was the economical one I had bought over two years ago.
There were several of them at the first dealership and I chose one that was pretty close to the same color as my old one. I wasn't surprised that there were so many, even years later, because it was only an okay looking car. Average would be the description, if I had to choose a word to describe it. That was fine by me, because my joking words to Jenny were entirely true. If I bought an expensive car, it would get way too much attention.
I didn't spend a lot of money, even with the registration change and changing insurance companies. I had to, even with the explanation that the bank had screwed me over. Apparently, non-payment of the premiums for six months made me a bad customer, even though I was paying through the nose for full coverage for a couple of years. The dealership arranged it all for me, for a small fee, and I drove the car off of the lot.
I was quite happy to be in a familiar vehicle, even if it wasn't my actual car, and I used the GPS map on my phone to go to the Smithsonian Museum. I had a very specific plan in mind and needed something to convince a few important people that I was seriously pissed off. I parked in the parking lot and locked the car. I was tempted to store it, since it was brand new, and waited until I was relatively alone before I stored it.
I walked over to the main entrance to the art gallery and went inside. I detoured to the gift shop and went right to the posters. I started browsing through them and picked a few out that I thought were of expensive paintings.
“Are you looking for anything in particular?” A woman's voice asked me.
I turned to see a handsome young woman, with her long dark hair pulled back on both sides of her head, and intelligent deep blue eyes. “Yes. I am specifically looking for copies of the most expensive paintings that are currently on display.” I said and gave her a warm smile. “Would you be so kind as to give me a hand?”
“Of course.” She smiled back and we spent a good twenty minutes digging through what they had. “I think that's everything.” She said and put a hand on the small stack of fifteen posters.
“Are these the correct size? I don't want to mount them and have them not fit.”
She nodded. “We always have the printers print without borders, just for that reason.”“That's great.” I said and put my hand on hers. “I'll take them all.”
“Wonderful.” She said and I helped her take them over to the main counter. “Have you always been interested in art?”
I shook my head. “I'm usually too busy slaying beasts and pleasing women to admire any artwork.”
She laughed a laugh that most men would consider flattering, because she was laughing to make them feel good about themselves and not about what was actually said. She rang everything through and at thirty dollars a piece for fifteen of them, plus tax, it came to almost five hundred dollars.
I took out the leather pouch and counted out five one hundred dollar bills and her eyes widened at the pile of bills. She gave me my change and I put it in my pocket.
“I get off for lunch in half an hour.” She said, quite boldly.
I turned my head and looked at the clock and saw that she had her lunch break an hour before actual lunch.
“It's so I can have the store open during lunch time for everyone else.”
I smiled and waved at the store. “Since I have half an hour to waste, why don't you show me some replicas of expensive things? Perhaps you can get a few more sales out of me.”
She beamed a smile at me, knowing I was intentionally staying around to spend the time with her, and she did her best to show me what she had and believed were expensive items. I bought a few more trinkets and asked her where I could see the real things. Luckily, the store also sold maps with directories and we spent ten minutes going over it and I marked the spots on it with a colored pencil.
“That's an odd choice for writing.” She said.
“I'm best friends with the most beautiful little girl on the planet.” I said and she let out an 'aww' sound. “I haven't seen her since yesterday and I've got to get back to her soon.”
“Is she yours?” She asked with an odd tone to her voice.
“She almost was. Legally, anyway.” I said and she gave me wide eyes. “I asked her mother to marry me someday just before an unexpected trip. When I came back...”
“She had someone else.”
“Worse. She went back to someone else.”
“Oh, no.” She said and she put her hand on mine. “That's horrible.”
I was tempted to tell her about Diane getting arrested and changed my mind. I wasn't planning on sleeping with her, so giving her too much information wasn't a good idea. There was a soft chime and she gave me a big smile.
“Lunchtime.” She said and let my hand go. “There's a great food stand about ten minutes walk away.” She walked over to the door to flip over the closed sign and I stored everything I bought. “Unless you know of somewhere else?”
I walked over to her. “This is my first visit to the city. That's why I wanted to see the most expensive things, just so the trip isn't a total waste.”
She chuckled and we stepped out for her to lock the door. “If I wasn't working, I would give you the whole fifty cent tour of Washington D.C. and tell you the worst tourist spots to avoid.”
“Oh? I have to suffer because you're working?” I asked and she laughed.
“Yes, you poor, poor soul.” She said and we walked together out of the main art building. “I'd call a friend of mine to help; but, I'm sure she'd try to sleep with you as soon as she saw you.”
I gave her raised eyebrows and she laughed again.
“She loves tanned men.” She explained.
“Is this the point where I ask if you do, too?”
She beamed another smile at me and avoided answering. We chatted about nothing in particular as we walked to the food stand. It was a mix of cautions and warnings for the traffic, overcharging taxi drivers, the weather, her uncomfortable shoes, her hobbies, what I did for a living, what car I drove, what else I planned to do, and a few other things.
I paid for the food, french fries and onion rings for the both of us, and we sat down on a nearby bench and kept talking as we ate. I had to admit that it was nice to just sit and talk with someone without ulterior motives or plans for anything in the future. I didn't get any flashes of Divine Sight, which meant what was going on wouldn't impact my future adversely. I was actually a bit disappointed, because she seemed like a nice woman that was around the same age as I was.
I hid that feeling and after we finished eating, we went back to her store. I put back my purchases where we had left them and she bagged a few of them up. I stopped her from rolling up the posters, because I wanted to keep then flat. She nodded and picked up a large envelope like thing made of poster board and carefully slid them inside and handed it to me with the bags of my other things.
“Thank you very much. I appreciate all the help...” I started to say and looked down at my occupied hands. “My hands are full.”
She gave me a huge smile and came around the counter. “What would you have done if they weren't?”
“I would have at least shaken your hand.” I teased and her huge smile softened and she gave me a sexy look.
“Then let me.” She whispered as she put her hands on my chest, leaned in close, and lightly kissed my cheek. “How was that as an 'at least'?”
“You missed.” I said and she laughed.
“We need to go on a date first for you to get a proper kiss.” She teased.
“That wasn't a date?” I asked and her huge smile was back.
“That was just lunch with a friend.” She informed me and I nodded. She led me over to the door and opened it for me. “It was very nice meeting you.”
“Likewise.” I said and walked away. I went outside as if I was going to my car, then I emptied the bags of all the individual things I had purchased and stored them. I stored the large poster board portfolio as well. I wouldn't need it opened yet. I walked back inside and took out the map and I wasn't surprised to see the woman looking out the shop window at me. I waved to her, pointed to the map, and started my own personal tour.
My tour of collecting very expensive collateral.
I used Search and Detect to find the individual items like small antique sculptures, which were easily replaced with the replicas. I barely had to look at them and had them in my inventory. The portraits were a bit more difficult. I had to Detect each one specifically and then searched through the portfolio to find the poster, then did my switching trick and put the real one into the envelope and the fake into the frame.
It took me two hours to gather them all and I was glad to have the large portfolio to put them in. By the time I was done, I had an estimated hundred million in paintings and artifacts stored, which was fitting, and I left the museum to head to the most famous house in the country. I found a secluded spot and took my car out of inventory, then drove to the White House.
I was stopped at the gate and I wasn't surprised that you couldn't just drive up to the White House. I told them that I was there for a tour and I was directed to park in the visitor's parking lot. I didn't try to store my car this time, since I assumed there were cameras everywhere. After using Search and Detect spells, my guess was confirmed.
I walked over to the security station and was checked, my name and ID recorded, and I was given a visitor's badge. I was led inside to a small waiting area that was full of couches and told that the next tour would be starting in forty minutes.
“I'm sorry for showing up early.” I said and the man chuckled.
“You're the first person to ever show up with nothing on them.” He said. “It's too bad that everyone else isn't as considerate as you.”
I chuckled this time and nodded, knowing I made his job that much easier. He left me there all alone and I checked with Detect to find that there were four cameras in the room with me. I remained on my best behaviour and sat down to wait. I wasn't sure if I just lucked out and caught a tour group going through or if they were humoring me to try and sweat me out. Either way, I didn't mind waiting.
Thirty minutes later, two young women came into the room and they were laughing and talking about the hunk of a security guard that tried to not stare at their breasts.
“I swear, if they didn't have the security camera there, he would have groped me.” The blonde on the left said happily and her friend laughed as they sat down on the couch closest to the door.
“If you weren't so hot, you wouldn't have to worry about that so much!” The blonde on the right said.
“I know, right? Some guys must not see a lot of breasts or something.” The left one responded.
“We could see hundreds of breasts and if there's a chance we can get a glimpse of just one more, we'll take it.” I said and the two girls let out yips of surprise and quickly turned their heads to stare at me.
“Who're you?!?” They asked as one.
I tapped my visitor's badge. “I didn't meant to startle you.” I said and stayed sitting down.
“So, all men are lechers.” The one on the left said.
“No, we just... how can I say it and not make myself sound like an ass?”
“Don't.” The one on the right said and I laughed.
“Okay, that's fair.” I said and repeated something that Bonika had told me on the last world I was on. “Men, as a general rule, are always on the hunt for a healthy mate.”
“Huh? What's that mean?” The one on the left asked.
“We're constantly looking for a good woman with nice breasts and shapely hips to have sex with.” I said and the two blondes stared at each other for a second and then looked back at me.
“That's what I said. Lechers.” The one on the left said.
I chuckled. “You're confusing need and desire with lewdness.”
She looked confused and I waved her to come over. She gave her friend a look, who shrugged, so she stood up and walked over to me. She was wearing black full length exercise pants and a nice red top that had a v-neck. Her breasts were a nice size and you could see some good cleavage without having to stare.
I looked her over as she approached and then looked at her face. “Did you see what I did there?”
“Yeah, you were checking me out.” She said and put a hand on her hip and leaned slightly to the right.
“I was.” I admitted. “Did you feel uncomfortable about it at all?”
She gave me a slightly surprised look. “I... no, actually. I didn't.”
“If your friend wouldn't mind, I'll do the other way of looking.” I said and looked at her friend who wore a similar outfit, with blue pants and red top. “I apologize beforehand for it.”
The other blonde chuckled. “Yeah, sure you do.” She said and stood, then she walked over to us. I pointedly looked at her and imagined doing her, licking her all over, and having my way with her. When I ended at her face, she was blushing and wouldn't meet my eyes.
“Wow.” The blonde on the left said. “That... that look was... really lewd.”
“I told you.” I said and stood up. I took the blonde on the right's hand. “Please, forgive me for using you as an example of how a guy shouldn't look at you... unless you're dating.”
She turned her head to look at me and her blush didn't fade. “I... well... I want to forgive you...”
I had to laugh at that and then I gave her Angel's supermodel smile. Both of them caught their breath. “If you can't forgive me, then at least allow me to take you out to eat.” I said. “If we go on a date, you won't have to feel embarrassed that I looked at you like that.”
She looked at her friend. “Can we both go?”
I looked at the other blonde with a question on my face and she gave me a firm nod. “It's a date.”
Just then, the door opened and a group of seven people were there with a female tour guide that was dressed like an airline stewardess for some reason.
“Thank you for waiting. We're running right on schedule, so let's go.” The woman said.
“Come on! I've always wanted to see the oral office!” The blonde on the left said as she grabbed my hand and pulled. I still held the other blonde's hand and pulled her with us.
“I think you meant the 'oval' office.” The tour guide said.
“I know what I said.” The blonde said with a mischievous smile and the tour guide blushed a little.
“Our first stop is right this way.” The tour guide said and started to lead us around.
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