Stray Cat Strut

Chapter Forty-Four - Jennifer

Chapter Forty-Four - Jennifer

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***

I knocked.

The typing noises stopped.

Then after about twenty long seconds, they started again. Are you serious? I asked.

There is a personal computer on in the room. It isnt connected to the buildings power grid. Its likely that its being powered by a battery pack since the entire system is running on as few resources as possible.

I shook my head, then tried the handle, which of course didnt work.

So I kicked the door in.

This wasnt some high-security place, the door was made of some cheap laminate stuff that caved in with the first kick. The biggest problem after that was unjamming my foot from the hole, but I managed without falling on my ass. Then I shoved the door aside and looked into what was clearly some degenerates man-cave.

The lighting was poor--only coming in from the corridor--but it was enough to see the wall-to-wall posters of women in barely any clothes. There were shelves with figurines, of course, and enough clothes on the floor to keep a family of six warm.

And then, right there in the middle of the room, was a thin figure sitting behind a lit up screen. They turned their head slowly, and I found myself looking into a pair of eyes that were too blue to be real.

What? they asked.

I felt like asking the same. I had expected someone, not something. But what I found was a petite woman with clearly artificial skin typing away on a laptop without even looking at the screen.

Is that a fucking sex bot? Manic asked.

I think so, I said. Hey.. who are you?

My name is Jennifer.

Well, thats... a very plain name, uh, are you human?

The android paused in her--its?--typing. Pardon me, but you have broken into my masters home. I have filed a report with the local authorities.

Were samurai, I said. Also, even if we werent the local authorities, I dont think it would matter much. Theres an incursion ongoing. Uh, you dont know?

The sex bot blinked at me. I am aware. My master didnt give me instructions regarding the incursion. I must work.

What are you working on? I asked. The screen next to her seemed to be filled with text.

Erotica.

Ah, I said.

Manic poked me with an elbow. We should get going. Not saying it wasnt worth checking to see if there was someone here, but lets not waste our time?

Yeah, I said. Hey, uh, youre coming with us, I said.

What? Manic asked.

Im not leaving her here.

Stray, its a robot, Manic said. Its probably got an off-site backup or something. And I bet its insured.

Yeah, but... no, it feels wrong to leave someone behind.

I am not supposed to leave, the sexbot happily informed me.

Youre leaving anyway, I said, putting my metaphorical foot down.

I am not programmed to obey you, Jennifer the sexbot said.

I felt my frustration rise, especially as I noticed the shit-eating look Manic was giving me. Im not leaving you here, I said. I bet I can carry your plastic ass out of here.

I cant tell if youre being an ass towards the bot or if you actually care too much, Manic said. Its plastic and bolts, I get that it looks human, but AI have ruined plenty of human stuff, including some poor assholes sex life, apparently, so I dont see the point.

The point is... I dont know, I admitted, but Im not going to leave Jennifer here all on her own when were literally planning on blowing up the building. In fact... Myalis, how sure can you be that theres no one else left in here?

Ninety-seven percent certainty. Before the cameras went out, they logged the exit of every tennant still in the building. Its entirely possible that someone remains that wasnt noticed, though its unlikely. I could pinpoint the few potential locations a person is hiding in still, if you wish?

Are they all conveniently close? I asked.

No.

Right, give me some cat drones. How many places do you need to check?

I see where youre going with this. Three drones would be sufficient to inspect every location in the amount of time I predict it will take you to set up the explosives.

I nodded along. Youre perfect. Three drones then, and help me get Jennifer here to leave. I feel bad about leaving her behind.

Certainly.

Youre not bothered that Im trying to save a dumb-AI machine? I asked.

I am greatly amused, actually.

Of course she was. It took a bit of effort to convince Jennifer the bot to stand up, then I had to scrounge around on the floor for something she could wear. Sure, she had a sports bra on, but it really didnt work with the thigh-highs-and-nothing-else she was wearing below. The android might not have had a sense of dignity, but I did.

Manic cackled at me while I tossed an over-large hoodie at the bot. Put this on, and lets go, I said.

Is it going to follow us? Manic asked.

We can hide her in a closet or something then fetch her on the way up, I said. Not like she makes much noise.

I am trained in six million forms of sexual intercorse noises, Jennifer informed us. I am a top of the line Boston Statics life-partner android.

Six million? Manic asked.

Jennifer nodded. From breathy, seductive moans, to realistic animal sounds.

Nevermind, Manic said.

We started down the corridor. I took point and Manic walked next to Jennifer, her bass cannon pointed at the ceiling. So, what were you working on there? You said it was erotica?

Yes. My master has me write erotica. Since I am not a legal entity, I can write materials of dubious legal quality without being penalised. That was the task I was set on before my master left seventy-six hours ago.

Thats fucked up, I muttered. Couldnt an AI just generate a few million words of that kind of stuff in an instant? I asked.

Most modern writing platforms check to ensure that all writing comes with accompanying keystrokes. It needs to be entered manually with a slight variance in speed and writing tempo.

So... youre cheating? I asked.

I wasnt programmed to care about that.

I shot the sexdroid a look. Youre candid about it.

I was programmed to be a good conversationalist. She turned and locked eyes with me. How are you feeling today?

Yeah, no, I said, nixing that entire conversation right there. Lucy would be so mad at me if I had an in-depth conversation with a sex bot instead of her. Just keep quiet, please, we dont need to alert the aliens that were here.

Understood, She murmured.

You think her being quiet will be enough? Manic asked.

I shrugged. I dont know. Maybe? Shes not... fleshy, so they probably wont find her from the smell or whatever.

Shes wearing a sweat-stained hoodie and while I havent given her a sniff, I bet she smells like latex and bad sex, Manic complained.

I shrugged some more. Spritz her with some deodorant if you care so much about the smell.

We made it to the stairs, and as I predicted, there were aliens climbing up from below. A few were missing some bits, and I could hear the thump-thump of Manics bass turret going off echoing in the stairwell.

Right, drones, go check for survivors, I said with a gesture and the trio of cat drones Id ordered up ran past me on silent paws. And were heading down, I said for Jennifers benefit.

I barely made it five steps before I had to open up on a model three scurrying up the stairs. Soon, Manic was next to me, the wider spray of her bass cannon coming in handy in the tight confines of the stairs.

I tossed a resonator down, less to kill the aliens and more to turn them into slush so that we wouldnt end up tripping over a corpse on the way down.

The further down we went, the more aliens started to pour into the stairwell.

Shit, Manic said. My turrets down.

Huh, I said. Well, thats something. Any idea what got it?

Just some little ones, she said. But enough of them did it.

The advantage of a swarm, I supposed. By the time we made it back to the ground floor, I had alien guts staining the front of my armour and had had to reload twice. Jennifer was still following us, her stockings squishing with every step.

Its nice to get out of the house, she said.

***

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