Stray Cat Strut

A Tale of Nice Tails

A Tale of Nice Tails

Yuren Jie was not hiding, for he was not a coward.

He had merely... tactically relocated himself to a location where the bloodthirsty mistress of the forge wouldn't immediately see him. Yes, this was wise. Yuren Jie was certain that arriving at the Golden Hoarder Sect would teach him many lessons, and he was correct.

For example, he was learning the wisdom of discretion already. He was not so unwise as to not take this lesson to heart.

The medical pavilion still awaited, but it was atop a peak near the centre of the sect's great holdings. The other new disciples had taken the straight path, across bridges and over ravines, the mad cackles... polite tittering of the forge mistress behind them.

Yuren Jie had chosen a less direct path. Perhaps it would be somewhat slower, but only if he didn't move with great alacrity.

So he moved quickly... from statue to statue and from large stone to large stone, constantly on the lookout for a bloody, hungry smile from the shadows. He froze when he saw motion, but it was just a small cat who stared at him with about as much passion as one could expect from a cat. It seemed to sneer before sauntering off. He wondered if even the wildlife here was... peculiar.

After some distance was made, he felt a weight lift from his shoulders. it seemed as though he would make it in due time with no great risk to himself. This, too, was wisdom. Truly this sect was the greatest if it could impart such wisdom so easily and clearly.

"Why're you sneaking around?"

Yuren Jie started and spun to find... no one. He looked left and right, then cast his senses both upwards and down, but he felt no presence. Had the stress upon his core caused a deviation in his mind?

Turning, he started again as he discovered a woman sitting upon a statue on the path ahead of him. She was clad in strange garments, clothes that were tight against her body, and a large flowing coat like a robe cut down the front. More interesting were her ears. The ears of a cat sat atop her head, perked forwards at attention even as the woman smiled cockily.

Truly, she lacked the aura of a jade beauty, and instead felt like a cocksure, cockless, young master.

"Who are you?" he asked, his guard rising. Was this an older disciple of the sect?

The girl grinned, displaying slightly crookedy teeth. "I'm just a stray," she said. "What are you doing, sneaking around my neck of the woods?"

"This... is not a forest?" Yuren Jie said with a gesture to the area around them. This was one of the lower peaks, a flattened mount with several paths cut into its sides. There were archways here and there, and a few small garden pavilions with fantastic views of the ravines between the peaks. He could well imagine an elder cultivator sitting here and enjoying some ten billion year old ginseng.

The young woman blinked, then stared off into space. "You know, he's right, this isn't a woods, so that saying doesn't make sense."

She nodded. Then frowned.

"I guess it could be some language drift stuff," she continued to speak. He was quite certain she wasn't speaking to him, and was equally certain that she wasn't quite sane.

"I will just be on my way, then," he said.

"Hey now, no strutting off on my turf," Stray said, her attention snapping back onto him. "Where are you heading off too, anyway?"

"If you must know, the medical pavilion."

Her eyes widened a fraction, as did her smile. "Oh, you're a newbie!" she gushed. "Fresh blood! A little baby cultivator!"

Yuren Jie tensed, then glared. "I am Yuren Jie, and I will reach the heavens, defy them, and surpass them to become even greater!"

The woman snorted. "You don't look like you could handle a fight against a scarecrow," she said. "You're all thin, no muscles. No brains either. And where's your gear? Are you gonna reach the heavens with those pretty-boy robes? Flash the entire realm while you're up there?"

Yuren Jie stood straighter. "What is this juvenile taunting?"

"I'm not juvenile. You're juvenile," she said. Then she stuck her tongue out at him.

Yuren Jie spun on a heel and walked onwards. He was leaving this place and this discussion. He knew not where this woman had come from, but he wouldn't have minded if she crawled back to that place.

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As he came around a bend, he felt his heart constrict at the sight. There was another statue of a large cat, and atop it, the woman was lounging, one leg bouncing casually. She was eating grapes from a small bowl. "Okay, so I might have been somewhat immature," she admitted. "Tell me this, uh... Yuren Jie? Weird name. Anyway, tell me this; if you want to be so strong, why don't you let me take you on a little detour?"

"I will not follow you, strange woman," he said. Was this a test? A punishment for deviating from the straight path to the medical pavilion?

"You'll get treasures and new weapons and all sorts of neat rewards," she said temptingly.

Yuren Jie stood taller. "Treasures?" he asked. "Who are you, exactly?"

The woman grinned the kind of smile he'd only seen on cats who discovered a saucerful of cream. "I'm the Golden Hoarder Sect's quartermaster. You need a Heavenly Spear-Throwing Earth-Shattering Bursting Demonic Pillar Emitter to fuck up some local dragon and I hand you an ICBM."

He didn't know what either of those were, but the first sounded fearsome and powerful, the kind of legendary weapon oft associated with the Golden Hoard Sect. Was she truly the sect's quartermaster? If so, it would do him well to make her acquaintance.

He eyed her for a moment. Her clothes were strange, but of fine make, and while he couldn't discern the use of the items she carried, they seemed to be of exquisite craftsmanship. They also had small images carved onto them, of cats frolicking and staring and licking themselves.

On reflection, many of the stories of the sect's greatest warriors often mentioned that their swords of Rending Earth and their Heavenly Iron Arrow Hurlers had cat-like symbols upon them. Perhaps this woman truly was the sect's quartermaster.

He bowed. "What favours can I accomplish for you, Lady Quartermaster."

The lady smiled. "A quest, then! Hmm... there's a shop on the far end of the sect. It's just past the western gate. There you will find a woman who makes sweetcakes and sells artisanal teas."

Yuren Jie nodded along. Was this the fabled fetch-quest?

"I want you to go there, tip over her tea pots, and burn her cakes."

"Pardon?" he asked.

"Sabotage," she clarified. "Sabotage her shop. Don't kill her or anything, you know, just ruin her afternoon."

"Has this woman threatened the Golden Hoarder Sect?" he asked.

The lady quartermaster looked away, not meeting his eyes. "In a manner of speaking."

"That is not as clear of an answer as I expected," he said. Not that he minded too much. If the sect needed him to scythe through ten million innocent civilians to prove himself, then that would be a small price to pay. "Though I am curious as to her capabilities." There had to be something more here."

Stray Cat cleared her throat. "She gave my girlfriend a free sweetcake the other day."

"Pardon?"

"That's basically flirting, you know?" she said.

"You wish for me to punish a mortal because she has laid eyes upon your girl?" he asked.

"She didn't just lay eyes. Laying eyes is fine. My girl is the prettiest girl under heaven, so I can't blame either mortal or immortal for wanting to look. She gave my girl sweetcakes. That's crossing a line! Only I'm allowed to give her cake!"

Yuren Jie looked at her and took a moment to process what he was hearing. It was petty. It was petty and jealous. But it was also a task. One that would surely test his skills. "I accept, lady quartermaster," he said with a low bow of respect.

"Cool," she said. He wasn't sure what the weather had to do with anything, but he chose not to question her. "By the way, you're Yuren Jie, right?"

"Yes?"

"Oh, yeah, you're supposed to be at the medical pavilion. Like, right now. I'm pretty sure if you don't show up soon, Fairy Elaine's gonna be pissed, and between her and a live nuke, I'd rather piss off the nuke, you know what I'm saying?"

Yuren Jie glanced down the path, then bowed quickly before darting along. He couldn't afford to be late!

Once he was done with this medical examination, he would begin upon this quest. It would be one of the first steps towards gaining what he needed to defy the heavens!

***

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