Chapter 82 - Times Change~
Translated by Eve
Edited by Serefina, Kitty
13. Times Change~
Xie He looked up slightly, “You’re back.”
“Yes. I came back this morning.”
Yi Ze recalled what Jian Zihan had said last night. He was a bit nervous. Did...Xie He really still love him? After Yi Ze had hurt him like that, was he still willing to love him?
Xie He said ‘oh’ and then didn’t say anything more. He lifted his covers and tried to sit up. Yi Ze stretched out a hand to support him at once. His gaze fell onto the back of Xie He’s pale and thin hand. The numerous purple veins stung his eyes.
Yi Ze’s eyes dimmed. Although he had gotten detailed news of Xie He every day, it was much more impactful to see him with his own eyes. It made him feel even more anguished.
Yi Ze looked away. He brought over the clothes that were lying on the side and helped Xie He dress. His voice was soft and quiet, “Do you want to go take a walk?”
Xie He nodded docilely.
The weather wasn’t bad today. The sunshine felt warm on one’s skin. However, it still couldn’t warm Yi Ze’s heart. He gave Xie He a supporting arm and carefully helped him to the garden.
Xie He’s stamina was weak. After a short while, he could no longer move. He sat down on the promenade of the garden. Seeing Yi Ze fluttering about for his sake, he suddenly said, “Yi ge.”
Yi Ze’s heart rate slowed down. It had been a long time since he last heard Xie He call him ‘Yi ge’. Since that day, Xie He had always been silent. He had never spoken unless prompted. Even when he had to call Yi Ze, he would call him ‘President Yi’....No one knew just how badly he had wanted to hear ‘Yi ge’ again.
This made him think of the youth back then, who had stood in front of him shyly. Years and years passed. When he was by his side, it felt like he had no presence. But actually, he had always been there. The image of when he was happy, when he was shy, when he was calm, when he called him Yi ge affectionately...he remembered all of these.
Those memories had soundlessly imprinted themselves into his brain without even him noticing.
“I’m here.” Yi Ze looked at Xie He with faint warmth in his eyes.
Xie He looked up at him. His black, lucid eyes seemed to understand everything. His smile was clear but shallow. With a small voice, he said, “You don’t have to treat me so well.”
These words made Yi Ze’s heart sink. He forced himself to smile. “Why?”
Xie He didn’t directly answer his question. Instead, the corner of his lips drew up as he said, “I’ve been with you for so many years. Many people have said that you’re heartless, but I never thought so. I always thought that you were actually a really gentle person inside. You’ve always treated those at your side fairly. You also treated me very well all this time. So long as I don’t anger you, you’ve never gotten angry at me....You don’t know just how many people were jealous of me for being able to be with you. You have also never led me on. It was I who had been greedy, who had wanted what I shouldn’t want. I was just like all those others. In the end, I tried to step out of my bounds.”
“If a person loses their self-awareness and yearns for something they shouldn’t, then their ending definitely won’t be good. I have always understood this. I wanted to leave you, not because of you, but because of me....I didn’t want to embarrass myself further, so I decided to leave. I didn’t expect you to be so angry.”
“I know just how good you’ve been to me.” Xie He’s eyelashes fluttered. His voice held a suppressed tremble. He gave Yi Ze a deep gaze. His smile was pale and you could see a lucid helplessness and sorrow through it. “However, I’ve said it before—don’t sympathize with me or pity me. Even more, I hope you don’t treat me well...because....I’ll only misunderstand.”
And he already didn’t want to have any hope again.
Yi Ze listened to him calmly, eyes dim. Even so, he didn’t interrupt Xie He’s words. He waited until the other finished speaking before squatting down in front of him. With both hands, he cupped Xie He’s face. With a low voice, he said, “Misunderstand what?”
Xie He stared at him and his pale lips trembled. He didn’t speak.
Yi Ze smiled. This smile turned his originally cold and stern face gentle. He asked again, “What will you misunderstand?”
“I’ll think that you care a little about me.” Xie He shut his eyes, words sounding like he was smashing a cracked pot.
Because he didn’t want to be wallowing in despair, he would rather not see or think about it. When Yi Ze treated him well, it would remind him that he was a pitiful wretch. Even if he did his best, he would not be able to attain this person’s love...at most, he could only have his sympathy.
Yi Ze, “You’ve indeed misunderstood.”
He looked into Xie He’s eyes and enunciated each word clearly, “I don’t just care a little about you. I love you.”
Xie He widened his eyes, incredulous. It was as if he didn’t think he’d be able to hear such words from Yi Ze’s mouth while alive. From this person’s mouth unexpectedly appeared the word ‘love’.
When Yi Ze said this, he was actually extremely nervous. This ‘I love you’ had been brewing in his heart for a long time. Then, when he wanted to say it, Xie He wouldn’t give him a chance to do so.
That was, until today. Today, he was finally able to calmly tell the other of his feelings. He was finally able to express these feelings....It was the first time he ever told anyone he loved them. It was the first time he thought that love could make a person so apprehensive.
He couldn’t help but think nervously, how will Xie He react? Would he be happy and shocked? Or would he...disdain him severely...?
Love would make anyone selfish.
After a while, Xie He seemed to recover from his shock. He suddenly smiled and said, “Yi ge, thank you.”
From Yi Ze’s eyes came deep love. He couldn’t help but want to kiss the person he loved deeply. However, just before he touched the other, Xie He continued, “Even if you’re lying to me, I’m still very happy....Really, thank you.”
Yi Ze froze. Suddenly, it felt like he had fallen into an extremely cold place. All of his glee and apprehension disappeared. All that was left was grief and powerlessness. He said, “I’m not&#k2026;.”
However, before he finished his sentence, he met with Xie He’s black eyes. There was a deathly stillness and sorrow within his gaze. All of a sudden, Yi Ze couldn’t continue&#k2026;.It was likely that even if he were to dig out his heart right now, Xie He would still think that he was lying.
There was no happiness, disappointment, disgust, or glee. Because Xie He had never trusted Yi Ze’s feelings for him. He only calmly accepted this ‘lie’.
In the beginning, the one who didn’t believe that Xie He loved him, was him. Now, Xie He didn’t believe that Yi Ze loved him.
It was so fair that it could not be more fair.
What kind of person would treat the person they loved as cruelly as he has? How on earth would he be worthy of forgiveness?
He wasn’t worthy of being forgiven at all.
Yi Ze was silent for a while and then he chuckled quietly. “Then take it as me lying. I love you.”
He cupped Xie He’s face and kissed him, gently and lovingly.
Even if this was his punishment, it was fine. This was what he deserved.
..........................................
Since Yi Ze had confessed, he really acted like he was Xie He’s lover. However, he had never actually been in a real relationship before, so occasionally, he would make a childish mistake and fall into a fluster every now and then.
In the beginning, Xie He wasn’t used to Yi Ze’s actions. Afterwards, he adopted a laissez-faire attitude.
At a time like this, there was little meaning in differentiating between what was real and what was fake.
Yi Ze watched Xie He’s body grow weaker by the day. He finally understood that money could not buy love nor life. If he could use money to ensure that the person he loved could stay, he would give everything. Unfortunately, it was not possible.
He only realized this simple principle today. Now, it was too late for regrets.
Yi Ze almost never left the hospital. At night, he would lay next to Xie He on his sick bed and hold the other in his arms. He would use his hands to measure the other’s weight. It felt like the other got lighter with every day that passed by.
They didn’t have much time left.
Time was the cruellest thing in the world. It would not stop for anyone.
Today, the weather wasn’t bad, so Yi Ze carried Xie He onto a wheelchair and pushed him to the garden for a walk.
After half an hour, Yi Ze began to look rather nervous, and he suddenly turned to face Xie He. He knelt on one knee and pulled out a velvet box from his pocket. He carefully opened it and presented it to Xie He with both hands.
Inside the box was a simple pair of wedding rings.
After he did this, he—this thirty-something-year-old man—felt nervous, like a young man who was having his first awakening of love. Yi Ze gazed deeply into Xie He’s eyes and said, “I love you. Be my bride, OK?”
Xie He looked at Yi Ze for a long time, silent. He saw that Yi Ze was about to break out in a cold sweat and couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m a man. How could I be your bride, ah?”
Yi Ze didn’t even think before blurting out, “I can also be your bride, ah.”
Xie He: “....” Are you not a man?
After Yi Ze said that, Yi Ze looked embarrassed...he didn’t think that he would ever say such words. Whatever...so long as he could have his wife, did he need face?
Xie He slowly said, “But I can’t afford to take you as a wife, ah....”
The fact that Xie He didn’t reject him was incredibly good news to Yi Ze. Besides, this was a trifling matter! He said with a serious face, “That’s fine. I’ll pay for my own dowry. You don’t have to do anything.”
Xie He finally laughed. In his eyes was a lustre that hadn’t been seen for a long time. “Yi ge...right now, with what you’re doing, you really look like you love me.”
Pain flashed through Yi Ze’s eyes. “Consider it real, OK?”
Xie He suddenly fell silent.
Yi Ze didn’t give Xie He a chance to regret. He grabbed his hand and placed the ring onto his ring finger and then stood up, kissing him on the forehead. “From today on, I’m yours. You have to take responsibility for me.”
Xie He paused. Slowly, he smiled, “Yi ge, back then, I didn’t know you could make such jokes.”
Yi Ze said, “Back then, I also didn’t know that I could love you like this”
It was just unfortunate that I found out too late. By the time I figured it out, I realized I would soon lose you. The only thing that I can do is to give you all of my love in the limited time we have, because I already have no time to waste.
【Ding, the target Yi Ze’s Favourability Value +3. The current Favourability Value is 98.】
....................................
The next morning, Yi Ze said to Xie He excitedly, “Today, there’s going to be a news conference. I hope that you can take part with me.”
When Xie He heard this, his expression changed slightly. Although Yi Ze had suppressed the matter afterwards and the media sites stopped propagating it while his reputation began to become washed clean, gossip was still a thing to be feared. It was inevitable that people would whisper behind his back. His public image was not as it was. Now, with his present condition, he wanted to appear before the public even less. He knew that his days were numbered. Why would he bother with his posthumous reputation?
Xie He pursed and then said, “It’s not convenient with me like this, ba.”
Yi Ze said, “You’re the protagonist. You can’t be absent today! Relax, you don’t have to say anything. I’ll speak.”
When Yi Ze said this, Xie He did not continue objecting. He had no interest in any news conference, nor did he have any intention of inquiring about it.
However, it was clear that Yi Ze was very excited.
He personally helped dress Xie He in a tailored suit. It was just a pity that Xie He had lost too much weight. He didn’t look as good as he used to. It was obvious he was currently too thin and weak—it was clearly big on him. Yi Ze gently caressed Xie He’s face and then helped him put on a wig.
No one knew how tormenting all of this was for him. He watched with his own eyes as the one he loved walked towards his death, one step at a time. He however, could only face it with a smile.
After dressing him up, although Xie He still looked sick, he finally reclaimed some of his splendour of the past. You could vaguely see the extraordinarily charming big star that he once was.
Yi Ze carefully carried Xie He into the car. The reporters participating in the news conference had already arrived. The busting crowd made it difficult for them to go through so Yi Ze’s bodyguard had to go make way for them.
Xie He lowered his head, uneasiness in his eyes. He still remembered how the people online insulted him at the time. Although he was already used to the internet’s violence, it would still make him unhappy. He had only passively endured it because resistance was futile. He would only be cursed even more fiercely.
Yi Ze carried Xie He into the conference area under everyone’s eyes and carefully placed him onto the sofa. He had this sofa specially prepared for Xie He. Yi Ze’s movements were gentle and his expression was loving. From start to finish, his gaze never left Xie He. The reporters instantly exploded!
Yi Ze had said that he wanted to announce his marriage today. As the most famous, eligible bachelor, Yi Ze’s reputation was no less than the great star Xie He. Moreover, his marriage announcement was extra impactful because everyone was wondering which lady had the ability to marry Yi Ze! Did she save the entire galaxy in her last life? Who would have expected that Yi Ze would not bring out his fiance and would instead bring out the notorious Xie He?! He was even looking at him so gently and with so much affection!
The media was about to go crazy! Today, there would be huge news, huge news, ah!
All along, Yi Ze maintained a calm expression. He would only show a soft expression when facing Si Minghui. When he looked down, he immediately adopted his typical steady and apathetic expression.
He took the microphone, flashing the wedding ring on his ring finger without bothering to cover it up. With his left hand, he held onto Xie He’s. He said, “Thank you everyone for coming today. There is something that I want to tell everyone. Minghui and I have been in love for eight years. I’ve always loved him deeply. It was just because I didn’t want to affect his work and because Minghui didn’t want to expose this, that I have never made our relationship public. However, there have been inappropriate remarks on the internet as of late. They have severely harmed Minghui’s image and have tarnished our relationship. Therefore, I want to make it clear here that those rumours are baseless. From this day on, if there are similar slanderous comments made, I will take things to court.
“Lastly, Minghui and my wedding ceremony has been set for one week from now. I hope that everyone will wish us well. Thank you.”
From Yi Ze’s first words, Xie He had stared at him, astonished. He was completely stupefied.
Yi Ze smiled at him. Then, under countless flashing lights, he calmly kissed him on the lips. He said, “I hope that you don’t blame me for acting on my own. I don’t want to continue having our relationship be in the dark.”
His voice wasn’t loud or quiet. He spoke very calmly. As expected, the reporters all heard this.
The reporters all flared up again! Big news, big news, ah! What patron and being kept, it’s all nonsense! Would anyone keep a mistress like this? It was clear that he loved him to the bone, ah! The extremely wealthy President Yi acted so cautiously before Xie He—with one glance, it was clear that he was a hen-pecked husband at home, ah!
Moreover, why did Xie He look so feeble? It couldn’t be that he was sick? Could it be that because he fell sick, Yi Ze could not stand it anymore? All of this was gossip!
The reporters’ brains spun quickly. Coming here today was extremely worth it—the news was explosive!
Xie He looked at Yi Ze. Tears gradually filled his eyes. He promptly lowered his head. He didn’t want others to see him lose composure.
Yi Ze noticed this. He slightly shifted and used his tall body to block the line of sight. “Let’s go back, ba.”
He carried Xie He up and took him back to the car.
All the way, Xie He buried his face into Yi Ze’s shoulder. He shook slightly, as if he was too emotionally moved.
【Xie He：ZeZe is a capable person that can be taught. Dad feels very gratified. Just gave him a sense of crisis and he was enlightened. Smile.JPG】
【444：Oh! So there was a reason you wanted cancer? It wasn’t because you wanted to leave? ( ⊙ o ⊙ ) Ah!】
【Xie He：Of course. I can make his feelings brew faster and increase the speed of the Favourability Value’s rise, while also ascertaining how I will leave this world. An effective two birds with one stone strategy. If I didn’t get cancer, how would he think of all this so quickly? He might have even still been conflicted over whether or not to confess right now, hehe.】
【444：......】Suddenly feel a little sympathetic towards President Yi...._(:зゝ∠)_
【Xie He：Now, all that’s left is YuanYuan. Recently, he hasn’t come out. Is he being stopped by Yi Ze?】
【444：Yes! Yi Ze dispatched many people in the hospital and won’t let him come near you.】
【Xie He：ZeZe is truly such a vinegar jar.】
【444：O(∩_∩)O~】Maintain your smile, maintain your smile!
【Xie He：It’s time to max his Favourability Value. Find out where ZeZe is planning to have our wedding ceremony. Anonymously send it to YuanYuan. He definitely won’t miss this last chance.】
Yi Ze took Xie He back to the hospital. He waited until there was no one around before showing a nervous and uneasy expression. He asked, “Are you angry?”
Xie He gazed at him fixedly and a long time later, shook his head.
Yi Ze was instantly ecstatic. He couldn’t help but kiss Xie He. His kiss was very soft and there was thick love in his low voice. “We’re going to get married.”
Xie He’s finger twitched. He looked at him. “You don’t have to do this. Marriage isn’t a joke. I don’t have much time left....”
Yi Ze gazed into his eyes. “I’m not joking around. You are the one that I want. The only one.”
Xie He’s expression suddenly froze. A sliver of indifference came out.
Yi Ze noticed this. He suppressed the pain in his heart and said, “Aren’t I a very good actor? I’m pretty good with romantic lines, ba. It seems that if I go bankrupt, I have a future in acting.”
The corner of Xie He’s lips rose.
Yi Ze placed Xie He on the bed. Xie He’s body was worsening by the day. Today, he had spent a lot of energy. As soon as he laid on the bed, he fell asleep quickly. Yi Ze gently touched Xie He’s face with the tips of his fingers. Only when Xie He couldn’t see him, did he not have to suppress his own suffering and let out his own sorrow.
Xie He didn’t believe that Yi Ze loved him. He would rather believe that this was all because he sympathized with him and thought up this lie. He was not willing to believe in his love.
Because he was no longer willing to have any hope in him.
....................................
Yi Ze very quickly had everything arranged for their wedding. Although there wasn’t a lot of time, everything was methodically arranged. He did not invite many people. He only invited close friends. On the day of their wedding, Jian Zihan also came.
Xie He had eaten his medicine very early and regained some spirit. However, he could not walk anymore and could only reach the wedding hall by wheelchair.
Xie He looked at the man before him. He felt like everything around him was like a dream. The person he loved also loved him. They would announce their relationship beneath the heaven, obtain everyone’s blessings, and then finally enter the hall of marriage.
The host looked at the two of them warmly and said, “Mr. Yi Ze, are you willing to take Mr. Si Minghui as your lawfully wedded partner? To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do you part?”
Yi Ze said, “Yes.”
The host then looked at Xie He and asked, “Mr. Si Minghui, are you willing to take Mr. Yi Ze as your lawfully wedded partner? To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do you part?”
Xie He gazed at Yi Ze. This was what he had dreamed of all this time. How was it possible that he wouldn’t be willing? It was probably because God saw that he would soon die, that he would let him die within this beautiful dream, ba.... He suddenly smiled. There was no burden or haze in this smile. It was like he had gone back in time, when he was still innocent and without any worries or misgivings. Back then, he still had a firm faith that one day he would be happy. It was just that he had forgotten this faith.
Xie He opened his mouth and said, “I—”
However, before he finished speaking, he was interrupted by a clear, resounding voice! Fu Yuan strode over from the crowd and said with a stern voice, “I object!”
The author has something to say:
Because this novel was reported so the entire novel was locked. This author has changed things. Because of the edits, the contents within the previous chapters 82-85 have shifted earlier. The newest update is chapter 82. The next chapter will continue with the substitute arc. My dears who have already purchased this don’t have to buy it again. I’m really sorry for the inconvenience.
This author did my utmost in writing what’s to come next. What’s important though is that my motivation has withered from having to make changes. Moreover, in order to unlock the previous chapters as soon as possible, the contents need to be changed. It’s a bit hard to get into it when you’re not in a good state of mind. Only, I will do my best to adjust myself!
The update time for the next few days hasn’t been set. Everyone, don’t wait for it at night. This author will do their best to resume updates.
Lastly, I bow to all your dears in appreciation for always supporting me and encouraging me. It’s your support and understanding that has prevented me from being too downcast. So as to not let down you all, I will continue to write this story well! I won’t go die that easily! I love you all! Thumb heart!
PS: In order to keep this harmonious, please don’t mention h, smut, meat, or any similar things that will arouse attention. Thank you everyone for your cooperation~~ We can say that this text is pure, ah~~ Because it’s really pure, ah....
Eve: Also, YZ, you scum man. Don’t think I’ll be won over because you decided to be sweet. GRRR. But also, there you guys have it—the reason why JJWXC’s raws are different now (and some of the naughty stuff have been changed). The author had no choice but to because of China’s censorship laws. DOWN WITH THE CRABS.
sere: ok honestly i don’t think YZ is as shitty as some previous scum gongs... don’t bash me for this but the worst he did was treat JZH as a substitute... He didn’t love this (technically) sex partner, so there was no obligation to care for his feelings of love. This is all before XH comes in, duh, because it’s not technically JZH anymore. A better counterpart would be WTMT’s Wen Ruoyi. I’m NOT saying he’s not a shitty man, but he’s relatively better. (yes, he chains JZH to him, but i feel this is in part due to XH’s manipulations)
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