Stranger Danger

“Interesting,” replied Ye Qing while rubbing his nose.

That was what he said, but he honestly did not believe the rumors or feel tempted by this so-called Prince Xian’s hoard. The same could not be said for the others though. It was immortality after all. Be it a lowly pawn, a meek hawker, a terrible emperor, or a lofty Sage, most of them dreamed of becoming a celestial and living forever.

It was only natural for a human to fear death and desire immortality. Those who could resist its allure would forever be in the minority.

Of course, even if this so-called way to becoming an immortal celestial was fake, the martial arts and rare treasures he collected were still worth a fortune. It was only natural that everyone would be excited by it.

“Patience, please.”

Gong Wuwei raised her hand to silence the crowd before continuing, “First things first, I would like to apologize to you all. About Prince Xian’s hoard, it was just something I made up to bring you all together.”

“... What did you just say, Gong Wuwei?”

Feng Xiong, the head of Hawk Fort abruptly stopped toying with his iron balls. As soon as the shrill noise ceased, some people let out a muffled groan and were overcame by a wave of dizziness. At the same time, blood poured out of their orifices.

“It is exactly what you heard. I do not actually know where Prince Xian’s hoard was.” Gong Wuwei smiled. “It was a lie.”

Imp Zhu, the gang boss of Imp Gang let out a dark, harsh cackle. “Head Gong, your joke isn’t funny at all.”

Cheng Xiuyi, the head of the Soul Calming Fort spoke up next, “He’s right, Head Gong. In this world, some jokes are fine, and some are not.”

He opened his hand, and the crimson tree peony he just finished sewing abruptly started bleeding. When the blood hit the ground, they grew into more tree peonies. He was surrounded by them in just the blink of an eye.

The tree peonies were gorgeous, enchanting and strange. Red as fire or blood, they gave off a rich scent as they swayed in the wind.

The people around him did not seem to like it though. They immediately stepped away from him—or more specifically, the tree peonies—like he was the deadliest snake in the world.

Cheng Xiuyi snapped off a tree peony and sniffed it. His tone was utterly cold unlike his current action, however. “Death is usually the outcome when you make a joke that you shouldn’t make.”

“I have made plenty of jokes in the past, but I can assure you that I am definitely not joking right now.”

Gong Wuwei paid no attention to Imp Zhu or Cheng Xiuyu’s threats, however. She continued to smile brightly as she said, “I know that you’re annoyed, but please stay your anger and listen to my explanation first.”

“As I mentioned earlier, the reason I did this is to bring you all together for a serious matter. However, I am a weak, soft-spoken woman, and I was afraid that you wouldn’t answer my invitation. That is why I made a harmless joke. I hope you all can forgive me for this.”

Feng Xiong, the head of Hawk Fort threatened in a dark voice, “A serious matter? This better be good, Gong Wuwei. Otherwise, I do not mind turning your Celestial Cave into a Ghoul Cave.”

Imp Zhu, the gang boss of Imp Gang, let out another dark cackle. “Kekeke… unlike you, Head Gong, Head Feng is a man of his word and detests joking around. You better watch out, Head Gong!”

He wasn’t the only one. Everyone was chuckling or wearing malicious grins on their faces as well.

The Celestial Cave had invited nearly every bandit faction in Mount Qi to their residence today, and notable factions such as the Green Wolf Brigand, Seven Killing Peak, Hawk Fort, Soul Calming Fort and more were among them. Just one of them was a match for the Celestial Cave, much less dozens of them combined.

Whatever this “serious matter” was, the Celestial Cave had made a fool out of all these factions with their “joke”. Even if the serious matter did turn out to be gravely serious, it was doubtful that they would let this slight go. The Celestial Cave would be lucky to escape annihilation.

That was why everyone was chuckling or smiling maliciously at Gong Wuwei.

Gong Wuwei couldn’t seem to feel their malice, however. Her smile grew even brighter as she said, “Do not worry, everyone. I promise to give you a satisfactory answer, for this is so much more important than Prince Xian’s hoard. After all, it is a matter that will affect your lives directly!”

“Is that so? I can’t wait to hear it then,” scoffed Feng Xiong while crossing his arms. He did not seem to believe her one bit.

Gong Wuwei’s smile never faltered. “I have invited all of you here today to inform you all one thing: from now on, I am the master of Mount Qi.”

“Excuse me?”

Feng Xiong, Imp Zhu, Cheng Xiuyi and everyone else were caught off guard by the declaration. Thinking that they had heard wrongly, someone asked for clarification, “What do you mean by that, Gong Wuwei?”

“I’m not sure how I can be clearer, but I’ll try.”

Gong Wuwei stroked her hair and explained smilingly, “In the past, there were three brigands, five peaks, nine forts, eighteen gangs and thirty six caves in Mount Qi. But from here on out, you will answer to one and only one master: me. Is that clear enough?”

“You… want to rule over Mount Qi?” Feng Xiong asked as if he couldn’t believe his ears.

“As expected of you, Head Feng. You understand me immediately.” Gong Wuwei clapped her hands and let out a cute giggle. “That is exactly what I’m saying.”

“Haha… hahaha! Did your boytoy fuck you too hard on your bed last night, Gong Wuwei? Do you even know what you’re saying?”

“Seriously. If you’re sleepy, then you should go get some sleep. Otherwise, you’re going to say silly things like you are right now. If you’re too restless, I can serve you in bed! I promise to drain every last bit of stamina from your body!”

“You must be joking, Liang Mo. You think you can satisfy Head Gong with your puny body? Nah, it’s gotta be me. I swear she won’t be able to climb down her bed for three days and nights by the time I’m done with her.”

“Fuck you! They call me the Little White Dragon of the Waves; the Little Silver Spear Tyrant! Like hell I can’t!”

……

Everyone was laughing at Gong Wuwei. It was only natural.

“You want to become the master of Mount Qi, Gong Wuwei? Did you ask for our permission?”

Cheng Xiuyi took a step forward. Red tree peonies immediately grew around his foot.

“I’m asking you right now, aren’t I?” Gong Wuwei replied smilingly. “So? What do you all think? Just a friendly reminder, but people will die if you don’t choose your answer carefully!”

“People will die, she says!” Imp Zhu laughed like he just heard the funniest joke in the world. “Hahahaha! I’m right here, Head Gong. How are you going to kill me?”

“Hahahahaha!”

Everyone started laughing again. It lasted until Imp Zhu and a dozen or so people started bleeding from every orifice.

The blood flowed quicker and quicker as if someone was turning an invisible tap that controlled the outflow of their blood. Just a few seconds later, Imp Zhu and the group had lost every drop of blood inside their bodies. All that was left behind was a flesh sack that, somehow, was still laughing despite their condition.

Feng Xiong, Cheng Xiuyi and more subconsciously backed away from the victims. They were all staring at the laughing flesh sacks in shock and horror. Nine breaths later, they abruptly ceased all activity and collapsed lifelessly on the ground.

“The Laughing Poison… Have you gone mad, Gong Wuwei?!” Someone shouted.

Everyone was staring at Gong Wuwei with shock and disbelief. No one actually thought that Gong Wuwei would go through with her threat until she did. What on earth was wrong with the woman?

Feng Xiong and Cheng Xiuyi’s shouts snapped the rest of the group from their shock. They immediately unsheathed their weapons and surrounded Gong Wuwei completely.

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