Stranger Danger

Chapter 180: A Mysterious Cook

“It’s time. I’m counting on you, Brother Incense.”

It was night. Ye Qing shot the round, bright moon in the sky a glance before lighting a bright yellow incense stick. While holding it reverently with both hands, he bowed three times in a row toward the sky, the earth, and humanity. [1]

“Please help me find that mysterious cook, Brother Incense!”

As soon as he said this, the incense stick suddenly burned at an accelerated rate and emitted a thick blue smoke. There was no wind, but the smoke floated down a certain direction of its own accord.

“Thank you, Brother Incense!”

The incense stick Ye Qing was holding was of course, the Incense of Fortune. He had created it just yesterday.

Technically speaking, it was much easier to create the Incense of Fortune than Incense of Misfortune’s. For starters, it could be created on any hour that was considered lucky on any day. The true difficulty lay in collecting the ingredients necessary to make the incense in the first place. Both the Lucky Flower and the agate of the Moon Seeing Stone were extremely precious spirit materials that were rarer and more valuable than any single ingredient that was needed to make the Incense of Misfortune. This was why it was easier to create the Incense of Fortune.

Of course, the success rate of creating the Incense of Fortune was a different story. Take an MMORPG for example. So what if you spent months hunting for the ingredients necessary to craft a legendary item? If the heavens willed it so, you could still fail with a 99% success rate.

Ye Qing had two things going for him though. The two key ingredients—the agate of the Moon Seeing Stone and the Lucky Flower—needed to create the Incense of Fortune were of exceptional quality. The Lucky Flower was over a century old, and the agate was pure and flawless. As a result, Ye Qing didn’t just create one Incense of Fortune, he managed to create six with one set of ingredients, a lucky number according to Chinese superstition. Their quality was superb as well.

That said, Ye Qing wasn’t sure that it would work. He didn’t even know if the story the Annon Sutra told him was real, and the Incense of Fortune could hardly locate someone that didn’t exist.

Thankfully, it would seem that his worries were unfounded. The Incense of Fortune was clearly responsive. Not only that, this mysterious cook seemed to be quite formidable. He said this because the incense stick was burning at a prodigious rate. It would last fifteen minutes at most at this rate.

Ye Qing didn’t dare to waste the Incense of Fortune’s literal sacrifice. He immediately chased after the smoke like the wind.

The hunt for the mysterious cook continued for over half a teatime. He went from Pacification Street, to Qingshi Alley, to over half of the commandery. It wasn’t until the Incense of Fortune was about to run out that the smoke finally stopped next to a small alley and faded into nothing.

“The mysterious cook is here? That can’t be right! You’re not toying with me, are you?” Ye Qing scanned the area with his spirit but couldn’t find anything out of the ordinary.

As if offended that Ye Qing would question its efficacy, the Incense of Fortune suddenly emitted a new puff of smoke. It slipped into Ye Qing’s nostrils before he could react and choked him so hard that tears and snot poured profusely down his face. It took a while before he finally managed to stop coughing.

“Cough! Cough… for someone who failed its job, you’re quite the feisty little fella, aren’t you?” Ye Qing muttered while glaring at the used Incense of Fortune. After he put it away, he shot the empty alley another look, sighed, and stepped inside.

As soon as he entered the alley, the space around him suddenly rippled like he was entering another space. The next thing he knew, he saw a faint flicker of light at the distance and heard the sounds of eating.

Ye Qing looked. He saw three people—two men and one woman—sitting at a low wooden table and holding a bowl of food each. Judging from the way they were guzzling down their food, it must be very delicious.

The guy sitting on the left side of the table had a down-to-earth appearance and wore shabby clothes. He was probably a real farmer. He was smiling widely and enjoying a massive bowl of oil spill noodles.

The thin guy at the center looked like a scholar. He was eating a bowl of rice with a generous topping of roast meat slowly and elegantly. That said, his face was overflowing with happiness as well.

The woman on the right side of the table looked like a gentlewoman who came from a wealthy family. She was pecking at a bowl of beef bone noodles with an intoxicated expression.

All three diners came from different stratums of society, and normally they would never run into each other, much less enjoy a meal together at the same table. Right here and now though, they were all enjoying a delicious meal, and they were all brimming with happiness and satisfaction.

There was a food stall right behind the trio. The stall’s cooking equipment—a simple kitchen stove, iron pot and the like—were set on the left, and the food ingredients such as flour and vegetables were on the right. A table was set at the center of the stall, and behind it was a kind old man dressed in simple rags. He looked to be in his seventies, and he was currently rolling some noodles. A huge pot was placed on top of a stove, and the pot was bubbling with hot air and a rich, delicious scent.

Warm, red flames were dancing wildly in the night, a fragrant scent was permeating the air, a kind, hard-working old man was making some noodles, and the customers all looked happy and satisfied. If nothing else, it certainly chased away the cold and darkness of the long night.

The world invented humanity, and humanity invented fire. Together, they painted a warm and picturesque scene. However, this scene only sent a chill up Ye Qing’s spine. It was because he couldn’t sense anything at all when he was standing outside the alley. The light, the sound, the aura, nothing. It was as if this part of the alley existed in a completely different world.

Is that… the mysterious cook? Ye Qing thought to himself. The old man before him could very well be the mysterious cook mentioned in the Annon Sutra’s story.

The story had mentioned that every full moon, a mysterious cook would appear in the streets of Luo Shui. Only those who were kind, noble-hearted, or lucky would have a chance to meet him. Besides that, the cook’s food was so delicious that it could make his customers forget all of their sorrow and worries, and feel the beauty and joy of this world. As far as he could tell, the scene in front of him fit with the description very well.

“Another customer? Come, come! Take a seat!”

When the old man noticed Ye Qing, he immediately set down his rolling pin and welcomed him warmly. Ye Qing narrowed his eyes slightly before chuckling, “Hahaha! I wasn’t expecting there to be a food stall here, and right as I was feeling hungry too!”

While walking toward the dining table, Ye Qing asked, “What do you have, mister?”

“Hehe. I can cook you anything you want, customer. Veges, meat, stir-fry, deep-fry, dry, soup… anything. Just say the name, and I shall make it for you,” The old man replied smilingly.

“That’s a bold claim. Do you even have the ingredients to make, well, everything?” Ye Qing raised an eyebrow doubtfully while sitting in front of an empty table.

The old man chuckled, “I wouldn’t dare to lie about such a thing, customer. Just give me the order. If I fail to cook you the meal you desire, then feel free to trash my stall later!”

“Haha! I shall take you up on your challenge then.”

Ye Qing chuckled, grabbed a pair of chopsticks off the table and twirled it. “If you really can make anything, then I’d like some time to consider my dish carefully. Is that okay?”

“Take your time, customer. Just tell me when you’re ready,” the old man replied unhurriedly.

“Hmm… what do I really want to eat?” Ye Qing set down his chopsticks and put his hand on his chin. He looked like he was considering his options, but he was really sensing his surroundings with his spirit.

He didn’t scan the area earlier because he was afraid of alerting the enemy. Now that he was up close, he carefully spread out his spirit until he could sense everything around him. He could sense the down-to-earth man’s contentment, the scholar’s joyful eyes, the gentlewoman’s satisfied expression, and the old man’s busy figure. It looked like everything was normal, but in reality it was not.

For example, the three customers had not so much as glanced at him since he walked in. It was like they were so absorbed in the food that they were physically incapable of comprehending their surroundings.

For example, the world within his spirit was completely dead besides the cook, the three customers, and himself. There were no birds, no cats, no dogs, not even a single insect.

For example, the old man had been working non-stop even before he showed up, but he was one customer, and he hadn’t even ordered his dish yet. And yet the old man would roll his noodles for a bit, then cut up some vegetables, then wash his rice and more. It was as if he was preparing to serve at least a dozen customers.

Suddenly, Ye Qing felt the iron pat shaking without warning. Then, it said, “Another idiot has come to our stall. What do you think he would order?”

“Noodles. Noodles are the tastiest of them all, and the noodles I make are especially chewy!” The rolling pin declared arrogantly with a little jump.

“Hmph! What’s so tasty about noodles? It’s dry, insipid, and only fit for a farmer! It’s nowhere as sweet, soft and delicious as rice!” A rice jar on the ground replied disdainfully while wobbling on its bottom, causing some rice to jump in the air.

“Since when are noodles only ‘fit for a farmer’? Are you looking down on noodles!? You better give me an explanation now, or I’ll destroy you!” The rolling pin was so angry that it lifted itself up on the table and looked like it might take a swing at the rice jar at any moment.

The rice jar said disdainfully, “So what if I look down on noodles? It is a fact that only farmers, blacksmiths, dog killers and other lowly, disgusting people would enjoy noodles,”

“Now look at those who eat rice. They are either well learned scholars who carry boat loads of knowledge in their heads, gentle beauties who are experts in drawing and calligraphy, wealthy merchants or powerful authorities. They are all elegant and influential people.”

“Yeah, yeah!” The rice in the rice jar echoed in agreement.

“Hmph! You understand nothing! My eaters are manly, and your eaters are either women or sissies!” The rolling pin retorted.

“You… you barbaric brute!” The rice jar shot back.

“Sissy!”

“Barbaric brute!”

The rolling pin and the rice jar started arguing—actually, it wasn’t even an argument, it was just pure vitriol and shouting—back and forth like housewives on behalf of their factions.

“...”

What kind of world is this? Even the food is practicing class discrimination! And why is meat not part of this ‘conversation’?

Ye Qing barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes. But jokes aside, it would seem that the situation was more serious than he thought. He had no idea that the kitchen equipment were all Strangers until they started talking among themselves.

“I cannot believe the gall of you people. How dare you argue that rice or noodles are the most delicious food of them all when there is not a sliver of oil between the two. Hell, the two of you combined are still not a hundredth as delicious as me, lamb meat! I can be used as the ingredient of a soup, stir-fried or deep fried! I can be the main course or the second course. I can sate one’s hunger and nourish the body!”

A massive lamb rib floated out of a pot, bubbling with rich aroma. It was none other than the one who had been disparaging the duo. “You bunch of garbage are nothing compared to me, lamb meat!”

Ye Qing: “...” Speak of the meat.

1. If you didn’t notice, there’s been a short time skip of several days. ☜

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