“Getting a license was pretty easy. I don't know. Anyway, you will get it quickly. You should get one too, hyung," said Goh Yoo-Joon.
“Why do I need one when I have you guys?" asked Joo-Han.
“Wow, I am so envious of you guys. Can you drive now, hyung? That's awesome!" said Jin-Sung.
It seemed that I had promised Goh Yoo-Joon to get my driver's license as soon as I became an adult with him. Goh Yoo-Joon urged me to finish this task as soon as possible before leaving for the shooting of Again After Rainfall, and I happily agreed to get the license with him.
I had driving experience from my past life, so I was able to get my license without much difficulty.
“Haah..." I sighed and looked at the scenery outside the car. The members were excited as if on a picnic, but I was not happy at all.
Today was the departure day for Again After Rainfall. Although everyone was looking forward to it, I was trembling with anxiety every day, even as I practiced hard. My heart was unable to calm down and my hands trembled nonstop. When I lifted my head, my eyes met Su-Hwan’s through the rearview mirror.
“It's about time for you to take your medication, Hyun-Woo." At Su-Hwan's words, the noisy car suddenly fell silent. All my fellow members stopped talking and looked at me.
“Uh... why are you looking at me?"
“Hey, do you have water there?" asked Goh Yoo-Joon. He then reached out from the front seat and handed me a bottle of water.“Ah, thanks. Can everyone please look forward now? It's really embarrassing for me."
Only then did they turn their heads away from me.
“Ha, that’s weird. He had never had a fear of heights before."
As Goh Yoo-Joon tilted his head and spoke, Joo-Han said in a low voice. “Things can develop as you get older, buddy."
It was funny because he was only twenty-two.
“Hyung, why are you shaking? Are you sick?" Yoon-Chan asked in a whisper as he sat next to me.
I shook my head and swallowed the medicine in one gulp. Just the thought of airplanes, airports, and being there was driving me crazy.
Meanwhile, the car arrived at the airport and stopped. “Please get off in order, and if the reporters take photos, don't panic and just greet them."
Reporters and Rings were spread all around. The Rings had been sending loud cheers ever since they saw our car, but things that usually made me happy were somehow terrifying today. I followed the members out of the car, my face pale hidden by a mask and hat.
The flashes came from countless cameras and cheers. The louder the noise and the stronger the flashes, the more I lowered my head just because this was an airport.
“Hyung, a greeting—"
“Let's greet them! One, two, three!"
“Hello, we are Chronos!"
Joo-Han quickly led Chronos's official greeting and helped me by ensuring I didn't have to take my hands out of my pockets to greet the fans. We waited in front of the reporters to take photos for a moment and then moved forward under the manager’s signal.
At the same time, people gathered around, and the Chronos team staff held them back.
“Kyaaaah!!! Hyun-Woo!!!"
“Oppa!!! Just take this!!! Just this—damn, don't push!!!"
“Don't push! I get it! Stop pushing me, gosh!!!"
“How do you feel about leaving?"
“Ah..."
People pressed in from all sides and weighed down on me. As I was pushed heavily from here and there, my body swayed, and the tone of the people around me became increasingly threatening and harsh.
This was terrible. Irritable tones like these weren't new to me as I had heard them more than once or twice before. However, this time, my breathing started to quicken. ”Ah..."
This shouldn’t be happening since I had taken my medication. However, as my upper body bent further and my breath became labored, my consciousness started to blur. If more symptoms appeared here...
It was unclear whether my vision blurred from the lack of air or from unwitting tears. I couldn’t even tell what was going on with me or my surroundings.
“Hey, I knew this would happen. You are not okay. It's not just a fear of flying, is it?" Goh Yoo-Joon approached, shielding me with his body.
“Hyung, please take a look at him for a moment," said Yoon-Chan. He lifted my hat to check my complexion. After that, he put his hand on my shoulder and shielded me like Goh Yoo-Joon was doing.
“We are almost there."
“Did you bring sleeping pills? Who has them?"
“...Hyun-Woo."
Everyone was wearing masks to cover their bare faces, acting naturally to make it seem like just a conversation among members. As I staggered slightly, Goh Yoo-Joon slipped his arm through mine to steady me and acted as if he already knew about my condition.
With the help of all the members and staff, I was able to safely board the plane. Once on the plane, I fell asleep with the sleeping pills, unaware of any conversation that might have occurred around me.
***
“Suh Hyun-Woo has been acting a bit strange lately. I honestly was surprised today."
“I told you. There might be something going on, but let's pretend we don't notice." Kang Joo-Han calmed Goh Yoo-Joon, who kept glancing at Suh Hyun-Woo in the back seat.
“He looked like he couldn't breathe."
No one knew what was happening or why. They only knew that Suh Hyun-Woo's condition was unusual. Since they all lived under the same roof, everyone somewhat noticed that Suh Hyun-Woo might be seeing a psychiatrist or that something was off. He frequently had nightmares or felt oppressed, as if he had sleep paralysis.
However, to say it was all due to a fear of flying or acrophobia… It made no sense.
After all, Suh Hyun-Woo had shown symptoms even before boarding the plane. As soon as the crowd started to gather, he seemed unable to breathe and was so pale he looked like he might pass out. It was almost as if he was having a panic attack. Of course, the crowd at the airport was overwhelming even for the other members.
Goh Yoo-Joon was visibly worried about his best friend's unusual behavior, almost to the point of feeling anxious himself.
“Hyung, should I just ask him later? Is it really okay to just leave him be like this?"
“…I understand your concern, Yoo-Joon. But let's just watch over him for now. If Hyun-Woo seems like he can't handle it, like today, just shield him from the spectators. That's all we should do."
“…Sigh." Goh Yoo-Joon turned his head away as he got frustrated by Kang Joo-Han's response, which sounded as if he was placating a child. Goh Yoo-Joon seemed a bit angry at being told to do nothing.
It was understandable to feel upset seeing a close friend in such a state... However, Kang Joo-Han simply closed his eyes and pretended not to see Goh Yoo-Joon's reaction.
What else were they supposed to do? Joo-Han had pressed Su-Hwan for all the details. Suh Hyun-Woo was suffering from unknown panic and social phobia, fear of flying, and it was said to be a state where counseling wasn't possible. Suh Hyun-Woo had sealed his lips shut.
Kang Joo-Han thought there was nothing to gain from forcibly probing into an area that even the person involved found difficult to speak about, and that even psychiatrists found challenging to understand.
“Hyung, if you find anything, please let me know," said Goh Yoo-Joon.
“I will," replied Kang Joo-Han as he looked back at Suh Hyun-Woo in the rear seat.
His pale complexion had returned to normal as he slept with an eye mask and earplugs. Park Yoon-Chan was sitting next to him, and he still looked worried. However, at least for now, he was a bit relieved as Suh Hyun-Woo was sleeping.
Kang Joo-Han's expression remained grim. “Sigh. This is really a problem."
As a member of Chronos, Suh Hyun-Woo would have to fly countless times. It was something he would have to overcome on his own.
***
[WELCOME TO NEW YORK STATE!]
The welcome sign on the wall and the American flags were everywhere.
‘Ah, this is definitely the USA. We've arrived at the New York airport.’
The thought of being in the USA, specifically New York, sent shivers down my spine due to past events, but it probably didn't show in my face. I was groggy and had a slight headache, so my whole body felt weak.
“Once we leave here, the shooting starts... Hyun-Woo, please try to gather some energy."
“Yes, I'm sorry."
Was it the side effects of the sleeping pill? Had it not worn off yet? I forced my eyes open and focused on Lee Su-Hwan's words with all the energy I could muster.
“In Again After Rainfall, there will almost always be a camera following us throughout the day. So, be careful with your words, whether you are in the hotel or in the car. If you are going to spend time personally, make sure to report and then go."
“Umm… do we have free time?"
“Of course. You are free to spend your time as you wish outside the scheduled activities. Sometimes, the camera might suggest following you, but other than those times, it's fine to just report your whereabouts and explore a bit."
“Okay!"
It seemed that Again After Rainfall was shot in a relatively free atmosphere. The possibility of acting freely without cameras when there was no schedule was a very surprising and delightful development for us, who had recently become able to make personal appointments.
“Anyway, we've decided to meet with the other cast members at our accommodation. Shall we start heading out now?"
As we followed the manager to the exit, the staff of Again After Rainfall came toward us along with cameras and various equipment. We could see some international fans who had come to see us, but the staff's intervention meant they could only send longing looks from a distance.
I secretly waved to the Rings behind the cameras.
“Let's greet them. One, two, three!"
“Hello, we are Chronos. Nice to meet you!"
- Yes! Thank you for coming. Shall we move to the hotel now?
“Sure!"
As we walked toward the car prepared by the staff, the accompanying cameras started to conduct individual interviews with each member.
- Hello, Hyun-Woo.
“Hello. It's been a while."
- Haha, it has. You seem like you are still half asleep. You look tired.
I smiled awkwardly. Indeed, my eyes were so swollen from sleep that I could hardly see. “I just woke up a few minutes ago. That might be why it’s so obvious, haha..."
- If you are sleepy, you can sleep more in the car.
“Really?...Is that okay?"
When I asked, the director said it was fine because it would look more natural than trying to stay awake.
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