“I don’t have a clear direction yet. I’m busy dealing with the other members’ issues at the agency level.”
Hwijin’s words made Ise, on the other end of the phone, sigh briefly before answering.
“Are you okay, Hwijin?”
Of course not. I wanted to vent my frustrations, but I couldn’t afford to do that in this uncertain situation.
Especially to a much younger leader of another group.
“Yes, I’m… I think I’ll be fine. I don’t have any major problems. Just some members I’m worried about.”
He must have known about the pre-contract issue that was causing a stir. I didn’t need to tell him the details, just that I wasn’t involved.
“I see. Okay.”
Ise’s simple reply was followed by an awkward silence. Come on, say something. Hwijin felt a twinge in his stomach and clenched it.
“Hwijin.”
“Ah, yes.”
Is this why he gave me soup instead of rice? Hwijin rubbed his sore stomach when Ise called his name in a low voice.
“Have you thought about what you’re going to do after Floss disbands?”
Hwijin shrank his shoulders at Ise’s calm question and answered.
“No, not yet. I still have some time…”
That’s what he thought. But now things were going in a direction that left him no time.
“Well, Hwijin… You have such outstanding acting skills, you must be busy starting your work as an actor.”
Hwijin racked his brain to figure out what he meant. Is he asking me if I’m going to act after leaving Floss?
“No, no. I haven’t received any scripts yet.”
He was still getting audition requests for web dramas, but if he wanted to pursue a serious acting career, he had to move to the screen or the TV.
Unfortunately, he hadn’t received any concrete love calls from that side.
“If you want to return to acting… You could try challenging stages like theater, or musicals since you have a good voice.”
Hwijin felt dizzy as Ise rattled on, as if he was planning his future for him.
No, not yet… He hadn’t decided whether he wanted to continue as a singer or if he had enough and wanted to go back to acting.
Hwijin stuttered as Ise snickered on the other side of the phone.
“Idol. Do you want to keep doing it?”
Hwijin couldn’t answer right away. He wasn’t indecisive for no reason.
He couldn’t make up his mind in this absurd situation.
He knew in his head that he should focus on his acting career if Floss disbanded, but he couldn’t let go of the stages he had experienced as an idol.
At this critical juncture. He didn’t even know if he could get proper support, and he risked losing both if he tried to catch two rabbits at once. Hwijin swallowed his dry saliva along with his words.
Naru, who was left alone in the room after Hwijin left, was curled up under the blanket like a snail.
He didn’t know what face to make, so he stayed in his room, but his stomach faithfully demanded new fuel and growled.
‘I wonder if I should eat something…’
Even though I felt like I would gain weight no matter what I ate, my stomach was so upset that I couldn’t bear it. Naru stared at the fruit box that Hwijin had left behind, wrestling with himself for a while before slowly reaching out his hand.
The fruits were neatly prepared so that he could just pick and eat them. They looked like they were made with care.
They were probably not meant for me, but for Hwijin hyung. He must have shared them with me.
Naru grabbed one and bit into it with a flinch. He had been crying non-stop since the contract dispute started, and his face was swollen, but the fruits tasted fine.
I can still eat something in this situation. He felt pathetic.
Flash, the screen of his phone lit up. As he looked down with an apple in his mouth, he saw that it was a call from his mom.
“…”
Why is she still calling me? She didn’t seem to give up even after I ignored more than twenty calls.
“Stop, please…”
He had received a decent amount of money from his Floss activities, but it seemed that he didn’t meet his parents’ expectations.
You can do better. You’re only nineteen, you can endure more until you’re twenty-four.
Look at the seniors from other groups. They work hard and earn a lot when they can, and then they do whatever they want after they finish their military service in their mid-twenties. They look so cool and admirable.
You can do it too, right? If you want to have a long-term career, you have to capture the public’s attention now.
Do you know how much I begged the PD for this opportunity? This is the spot that I got for you with a lot of effort. You can do well, right?
Do your best as if you can’t go home if you don’t get it in one shot. You know that you have to be the best there today, right?
‘It’s all for your own good. I’m doing this because I care about you.’
He knew what she would say just by looking at the number on his phone screen.
The conclusion was simple. You have to be the best. You have to be the most noticed. Even if it’s hard, it’s better for you in the long run.
Don’t give up or be lazy like those pathetic kids. Do it properly.
If you’re going to do it half-heartedly, you should quit. Do you know how many kids are trying to take your spot?
Is this all you can do?
‘Do you know how much I’m backing you up for this?’
It was the same old repertoire that he had been sick of since he was young. His mom, who had been an amateur model while in college and met his dad, who was a graduate, had their wedding the year after she graduated.
She had to give up her own dreams and start a new one before he was born, because of the marriage and childcare that came before she had a chance to experience social life.
I’ll let my child live his own life. He’ll be the most noticed and loved wherever he goes.
He started his first career as a baby model when he was barely one year old. He was always a tool and a goal for his mom’s dream.
When Naru began to work as a kids model, the conflict in the family started.
‘It’s good that you care about the kid. But the head of the household is still me. Do you think I’m earning money to be treated like this?’
Every time his dad raised his voice, his mom didn’t back down either.
‘The kid has potential, why are you wasting it? Do you know how important it is to secure your position at this age? Naru is not only my child. He’s your son too.’
Whenever he failed an audition, they would argue until he fell asleep.
But when he was lucky enough to pass or get paid, his dad would keep his mouth shut.
So all he had to do was do well. He had to do well. If he didn’t get a satisfactory result, everyone would suffer.
‘I have to be the most noticed and do well no matter what.’
It was the day I secured my debut with a top-ranking score on the My Idol stage. My parents, who were on the verge of divorce, showed up at the filming site for the first time in almost three months.
I thought that as long as I did well, everyone would be fine.
The day my first debut preparation fell apart. I never wanted to remember the flower pots and utensils that were thrown at me and rolled on the floor.
‘I just have to do well.’
The sentence that kept me going like a spell followed Naru around like a shadow.
I didn’t know how the other guys wrote their pre-contracts. But mine was a death sentence for my Floss activities.
It was a contract that guaranteed my appearance time for the first four episodes, and in return, I had to pay back some of the revenue from my debut activities to the production company as a commission.
If I showed my face often in the early episodes, before the fandom was established, and raised my popularity, I would have an advantage over the other contestants who would naturally emerge as the elimination and evaluation progressed.
It seemed like an unreasonable condition that the production team would take all the risk if Naru failed to debut, but Naru was a popular contestant who had been in charge of the buzz since before the appearance, with a record of winning the top ranks in other audition programs.
If I did well, everyone would be happy, and Naru managed to debut as the production team and parents wanted, despite the pressure.
All that was left was what seemed like a smooth group activity, something I had never imagined would end like this.
“Stop, stop… Leave me alone… This is enough, isn’t it…?”
All that was left was to fall. Even if I earned my rank with my own effort, how many people would believe me?
No matter how I explained, I was at the center of the manipulation scandal. It was clear that everything was over, and all that was left was to agonize, biting my nails and suffering.
The news I heard in the morning was that Chanhyung’s contract had been leaked.
In the afternoon, it was Sunghyun. And other contestants who had signed pre-contracts but failed to debut were revealing their contracts one after another in retaliation.
Most of them were contracts that guaranteed their amount or position in exchange for a commission, just like mine, but there were some unusual clauses.
Some of them agreed to cooperate with the casting of certain contestants or to play the villain in the directing of certain episodes.
I briefly hoped that maybe I could get away with it without anyone noticing.
[- I get annoyed every time I see the fake work. Do I have to watch it on TV until the eve of Eve?]
As expected, the comments asking for my withdrawal were pouring in.
I shouldn’t look. It’s all over anyway. It’s over now.
As I sobbed and flipped the blanket over again, the phone screen lit up again.
Don’t you have to give up if you don’t get this much?
Why are they so persistent when they know through the manager that I’m not hurt or doing anything extreme?
Naru sniffed and checked the screen.
[010-XXXX-XXXX]
It was an unregistered, unfamiliar number. I shouldn’t answer. It was the worst thing to do in this situation, to answer a call from an unknown number.
It could be a malicious fan who wanted to provoke me. So I shouldn’t answer… It would obviously be better.
But I had a strong feeling that I had to answer it now.
As Naru picked up the phone nervously, a low voice greeted him politely.
“Is this Mr. Shim Naru’s number?”
It was the calm voice that annoyed me when I ran out of the filming site before.
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