Return of the Runebound Professor

Noah was glad that the pizzas had turned out to be larger than he’d expected. Moxie returned with Emily a little over ten minutes after the other professor had set out. In that time, they’d only manage to go through a little over half of one of the massive pizzas.

It had tasted every bit as good as Noah had hoped, but he’d been struck with the very unfortunate realization that he’d forgotten food tended to go best when you had something to drink together with it.

So, when Moxie walked into the room beside Emily carrying several waterskins, his eyes lit up in delight.

“You brought drinks!”

Moxie just sighed and shook her head, tossing two of them to Todd and Isabel. She handed the last one to Noah.

“Thanks,” Noah said. He nodded to Emily. “Congratulations on passing your exam. Nice to formally meet you. Help yourself to some food.”

The next thirty minutes went without much of anything other than eating. Between the five of them, they had eaten everything other than a bit less than a quarter of the last pizza. It was the first memorable meal that Noah could recall having in a very, very long time.

“Are we going to do this after every exam we pass?” Todd asked, slumping back in his chair. He wiped some tomato sauce from his mouth and grinned. “I don’t think I’m going to fail a single one if you do.”

“I think I can agree to that,” Noah replied. “Let’s focus on getting there first, shall we?”

“Deal,” Todd said. He glanced at Moxie out of the corner of his eye and straightened up slightly. “Uh… not that I’ve got a problem with it or anything, but why is Magus Moxie here?”

“Why does she get the honorific when I’m just Teacherman?” Noah complained. “And Moxie is going to be shadowing my class with Emily for a little while.”

Emily’s eyes widened and she shot a look at her teacher. “What?”

“He’s got some interesting methods,” Moxie said with a shrug. “I think a little variation would do you well. I might have overlooked some things.”

“He makes his students fight monsters without shields!” Emily exclaimed. “I don’t want to get killed.”

Todd and Isabel exchanged a smug glance.

“We’re done with monkeys for the time being, actually,” Noah said with a reassuring smile. “That was mostly just for this exam. Now that it’s over, we’re going to be moving on.”

Emily let out a relieved sigh. “Oh. That’s good.”

Moxie looked considerably less convinced. “When you say that, do you mean you’re done with the shieldless training? Or do you mean it’s getting worse?”

“Worse. Definitely worse,” Noah said, his grin turning predatory. He clapped Todd on the shoulder. “My students here are determined to shoot for the top, you see. That’s the only way they get pizza parties. It’s a good motivator, right?”

“Why do you keep calling it pizza?” Moxie asked. “I’ve never heard that word before.”

“Come on,” Noah muttered, the wind falling from his sails. “That was supposed to be a cool moment. You were supposed to be impressed.”

“I’ll be impressed when I see results.”

“What are we going to be doing?” Isabel asked. “Are we going to be training in a different area now?”

“At some point, yes. But there’s something more important that we’re going to start with,” Noah said. “And it’s something that I need to work on just as much as you do. We’re going to be splitting our classes from here on out in half. Every other one will be taught by a different professor.”

Everyone turned toward Moxie, but she shook her head. “Not me.”

“It’s me!”

Lee sprung up from behind the desk she’d been napping at. Isabel, Todd, and Emily all flinched, nearly jumping out of their desks.

“The shade here is so nice. Very comfortable.”

Todd looked from Noah to Lee. Then he exchanged a knowing look with Isabel. They both just leaned back in their chairs, content to see what was going on. Emily looked considerably less convinced.

“I don’t mean to cause any offense… but is this a joke?” Emily asked, looking to Moxie in befuddlement. “I get wanting to see what Vermil is doing, but that can’t possibly be a professor. She’s not even in a uniform.”

“Sure I am,” Lee replied. “I’m wearing armor. That’s a uniform.”

“No, it isn’t. Uniforms are things a lot of people wear. Do you see anyone else wearing armor?”

Lee pursed her lips. “Just because they aren’t here doesn’t mean there aren’t people that wear armor. Lots of soldiers wear it.”

“We’re mages, not soldiers! We haven’t joined the army. Magus Moxie, come on. Tell me if you’re playing a joke or not.”

“I’m afraid not,” Moxie said. “I’m sure that Vermil plans to demonstrate just how effective his friend is.”

“Of course I do.” Noah crossed his arms. “It does strike me that it would have been wiser to introduce her at any time other than right after we ate, but too late for that. This is Lee, and she’s going to be instructing all of us in hand to hand combat.”

Emily glanced over her shoulder at Isabel and Todd.

“You’re just taking this at face value?”

“Do you still have the Slasher claw?” Todd asked Noah.

He blinked, then nodded. “Somewhere in my room, yes. Why?”

“Because as long as you’ve got that, I’ve decided not to question anything you do until it’s done.”

Isabel nodded. “Same here.”

“Don’t worry,” Lee said cheerfully. “This is going to be a lot of fun.”

“Do you want any pizza before we get started?” Noah asked.

Lee shook her head. “No. I prefer meat. Eating grass doesn’t really suit me. Can we start now?”

“Depends. Moxie, do you think you can keep your food down? I’d like you to spar with Lee.”

Moxie’s eyes narrowed. “Why me?”

“Because you’ve decided to shadow my class, of course. It would be rude of me not to make sure your student didn’t completely believe the validity of my claims, and I doubt she’d think much of any demonstration I was to make on my own. Also, you’re a lot more impressive of a fighter than I am.”

Moxie heaved a sigh and rose from her table. “Lovely. Let’s get on with it, then.”

“Outside, please,” Noah said quickly. “I don’t want my classroom destroyed right after you fixed it.”

Noah snagged the last pieces of pizza as they headed out, stuffing them into his mouth. If nobody else wanted them, he wasn’t about to let good food go to waste.

A few minutes later, Noah and the students stood in a semicircle, watching Lee and Moxie as they squared off in the grass.

“What are the rules?” Moxie asked.

“Physical attacks only. No magic,” Lee said. “And we go until one of us loses their footing or otherwise falls. It obviously favors me, but it’s a demonstration and not a real fight. How’s that sound?”

“Works for me,” Moxie said, rolling her neck and lowering into a fighting stance. She’d clearly had some training already.

“And no injuries,” Noah added, sending a sharp glance at Lee. “I don’t want to have to waste a healing potion on this.”

“Noted,” Lee said. “Feel free to attack whenever you’d like. I’ll let you make the first move.”

Moxie shifted her weight from foot to foot, bouncing softly on the balls of her feet. Lee just stood, watching her as stiff as a board. Moxie shifted forward, thrusting her leg to sweep Lee’s feet out from under her.

Lee blurred. Moxie slammed into the ground, grunting as the air was knocked from her lungs.

“I win,” Lee said.

“I didn’t even see her move,” Todd said with an impressed whistle. “That’s got to be magic. Did she cheat?”

“Maybe the lesson is don’t follow the rules,” Isabel mused.

“What is he teaching you?” Emily demanded. “That isn’t a good lesson!”

“Yes it is,” Noah replied. “But it wasn’t the one I was trying to get across. Lee, help Moxie up, would you?”

Lee extended a hand down to Moxie, who accepted it and let the Skinwalker help her up. She brushed some grass off her back and shook her head.

“I have to agree with the students. I was under the impression you’re going to be teaching us something, but speed like that can’t be taught.”

“Come at me again,” Lee said, ignoring Moxie’s observation. “I’ll move slower this time.”

Moxie rolled her shoulders. This time, she didn’t wait for Lee to give her an okay. She lunged forward. Lee stepped around Moxie, dodging the attack easily. Moxie twisted, whipping her leg toward Lee’s chest in a spinning kick.

Lee arched backward and let the kick whistle past her nose. She sprung back to her feet and took a step toward Moxie, who immediately hopped back defensively – but Lee didn’t even try to attack. She just closed the distance, forcing Moxie to jump back again.

Moxie tried to sweep Lee’s legs out from under her again, but Lee jumped forward and grabbed onto Moxie’s shoulders. She lifted herself up into a handstand on the professor, then spun her legs violently.

The force of the move spun Moxie in a circle, and Lee pushed her away, dropping to the ground behind Moxie and hooking her foot out. Moxie’s leg caught on it and she tripped, hitting the ground in a roll.

She staggered upright, but the round was already over.

“How can you move like that?” Todd asked in awe. “You’re so…”

“Smooth,” Isabel finished. “And bouncy.”

“Because I’m cheating!” Lee exclaimed before doubling over in laughter.

“You were using magic?” Moxie asked, lowering her fighting stance and frowning.

“Nope. At least, not in the way you’re thinking.”

“So how are you doing that?” Todd asked. “There aren’t that many ways to use magic. Either you cast it actively, or you–”

“Imbue something.” Emily’s eyes widened. “You imbued yourself?”

“Point to silver hair!” Lee exclaimed. “Yes. I’ve been Imbuing my own body ever since I was young. It’s taken a good portion of my magical reserves which does make it so I’ve got less to work with when casting magic, but I think the results speak for themselves.”

“That’s a common technique at higher Ranks, but doing it as a Rank 1 is almost unheard of,” Moxie said, crossing her arms. “I’ve done it myself and find it very effective – though not effective as yours seem to be – but is it really viable for Rank 1 students? I was Rank 2 before I dared attempting it. Also, Imbuements draw energy from their original Runes. They're much more effective when you've got higher Rank runes with bigger capacities. Is it wise to restrict them now?”

Lee waggled a hand from side to side. “With how many monsters they kill, their max Rune capacity will be filled back up in no time, and I think the drawback is more than worth it. There’s more to fighting than just magic. What do you think the most important trait for a warrior to have is?”

I didn’t think we’d actually start the lesson today. Whoops. I hope nobody throws up. No point wasting good time, though. Good job, Lee!

“Strength?” Todd guessed.

“Wrong,” Lee replied without missing a beat. “Bad answer. Do better.”

Aaaand ruined. Damn it, Lee.

Noah sent Lee a sharp glare.

“Uh… I’m sure you can do better,” Lee corrected, clearing her throat. “Anyone else?”

It was Emily and Isabel’s turn to look at each other. Neither of them said anything.

“Intelligence,” Noah offered.

“That’s a very good one too, but not the one I wanted you to say, so also wrong. The answer is flexibility. Having control of your body is what lets you make sure you avoid enemy attacks and land your own. It doesn’t matter how hard you can swing a hammer when you can never land a blow.”

“What about the intelligence part? If you outsmart someone, they lose the fight before it starts,” Emily said.

“I am going to ignore that sentence,” Lee said with a frown. “Mostly because I’m not actually a very good teacher. I’m sure Vermil or Moxie could give you a good, well thought out answer that explained things better. I’m just good at hitting things, so that’s what we’re going to do.”

“We’re going to start now?” Isabel asked.

Lee nodded. “Yep! It’s going to be fun. For the next hour, we’re all going to get started with the routine that you’re going to begin doing every day.”

“What is it? A special technique?” Todd asked.

“Stretching,” Lee replied with an evil grin. “I hope you’ve got good pain tolerance.”

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