Return of the Runebound Professor

Fortunately, the bill that Silvertide left them with was only a gold – but still, for tea, that was a pretty ridiculous amount. Moxie had ended up covering the tab, but Noah suspected it was mostly so she’d have an excuse to make him speak with her at some point in the future.

For someone as rich as Silvertide, there’s no way he’d actually need to stiff anyone from a single gold. Old bastard was just screwing with us. Do we not know anyone that doesn’t have a completely screwed up sense of humor?

“I want some tea,” Lee said.

“Sure, but you can’t eat the kettle,” Noah said absently, only half paying attention.

“Oh. Never mind, then.”

“Well, that was enlightening,” Moxie said with something between a sigh and a laugh. “At least Silvertide will show the dagger to the others. The Enforcers should have access to a lot more information than I do, so hopefully they figure out something useful.”

“It’ll be nice to have someone else do something for once,” Noah agreed.

“To be fair, I’m pretty sure we’ve gotten ourselves into most of the shit we’ve had to deal with,” Moxie pointed out. “Not that I’m arguing. But… what now? Do we just wait around and wait for news on the dagger to come back to us?”

“That is exactly what I plan to do,” Noah said, rising from the table. “Wizen has a whole bunch of people on his ass now, and I’ve got no desire to stick my nose further into his business until the time comes to deal with him. We’ve got a group of students that still need training – not to mention that competition we’re running.”

“Isn’t your pattern basically just eating?” Moxie asked.

“It’s valid. If you chew in the right way, it’s a pattern.”

Huh. I wonder if that pattern would actually have anything to do with Lee’s Demon Rune. If it’s actually Gluttony overlaid with the Broken Master Rune, then mastering the pattern of eating might actually be pretty beneficial. I don’t know if encouraging Lee to eat any more than she already does is a good idea, though. She might end up popping.

“Patterns are patterns. Getting back on track isn’t going to hurt anyone. Just don’t eat too much,” Noah said. “I need to get some practice in myself. I still need to push my Formations farther, and I got interrupted the last time I tried to work on them. I imagine the advanced track will start doing things fairly soon as well.”

“Probably,” Moxie agreed with a nod. “Especially since the puppets have been dealt with. I doubt they’re going to want to sit around and waste time when exams are already creeping up around the corner. I wouldn’t be surprised if some of the professors were already practicing together.”

“Well, we’ll get around to that whenever it happens. We’ve got our own training to handle,” Noah said. “But that can come tomorrow, after I find Tim and help him fix up his Runes. For today, I think the only thing I want to do is relax.”

And figure out what I can do for a date. I can’t take Moxie out to a restaurant – Lee would feel left out, and I’m not sure she’d actually understand the concept of a date if it involved food and didn’t involve her. Are there movies on this world? Plays, I guess?

That seems kind of lame.

“Is something wrong?” Moxie asked. “You look kind of troubled. Are you thinking about Wizen?”

“No,” Noah replied honestly. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I’m not concerned about dealing with that crazy bastard – I just have other things I want to do. I can’t afford to worry about all the powerful assholes we’ve somehow managed to piss off, since that number seems to grow every time I turn around.”

“That’s probably because you’re flipping them off as you turn,” Moxie said with a wry smile. “But I certainly wouldn’t say no to a little relaxation before we really get into the swing of the year. A rest day sounds great, especially after… well, you know.”

“Yeah,” Noah muttered. “Same. Let’s go home.”

***

“Oh, I’m looking forward to this. Perfect timing, really,” Decras said, a grin pulling across his lips. “Wouldn’t you agree?”

“You’re an asshole,” Renwewal said. “I want to see them do something cute. Can’t you keep your stupid surprise held off for a little longer? You could at least wait until after Noah takes Moxie on a date. He’s clearly planning on it.”

“Are you kidding? No. It’ll be far more interesting if I speed my surprise up so it shows up during the date. Think of the drama,” Decras said, spreading his arms wide. “I can’t time it that perfectly, unfortunately. My influence is constrained, but this should be more than enough to give us entertainment.”

“I was going to get entertainment already,” Renewal said with a cross frown. “Not everything has to be death and slaughter, you know.”

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“Says the woman who was perfectly thrilled to see the surprise just a few short blips in time ago,” Decras pointed out. “You change your mind like the seasons.”

“What’s the point of having a mind if you can’t change it? I forgot how cute it can be to watch mortals play around. They’re so… innocent. Their stakes are so infinitesimally small in the grand scheme of things. So unimportant. And yet, they place such value on those worthless stakes. It gives those moments of peace a lot more meaning than the endless sea of nothing that we’ve got to deal with.”

Decras leaned back in his chair and sighed. “Have you already forgotten that you’re mad at the stupid little thief? He took our Runes, and he took your avatar.”

“Maybe he’s going to put them to better use than we would,” Renewal muttered, sinking into her chair. “Don’t you ever get exhausted of this shit, Decras? There has to be more to the universe than what we have.”

“Oh, every single day,” Decras replied. “But I’ve learned that there’s nothing I can do about it. Compared to those little specs running around on the world we’re watching, we’re the peak of power. But… in the grand scheme of things? Nobody would notice if we vanished, Renewal. If you really want to challenge the way things work, then go push your Rune farther.”

Renewal gagged. “Oh, yeah. Lovely. Spend all the energy I’ve gathered and lose an enormous amount of time for what – a promotion to watch a bigger line of mortal souls? The real freedom only comes with power greater than what my talent will ever let me claim.”

“And yet you won’t abandon your line,” Decras observed, interlacing his fingers and kicking his feet back. “Do you care about your job or not? You could always just leave. Become a rogue god.”

“I’m not nearly strong enough for that,” Renewal said. Her eyes drifted to the shimmering image, where Noah was walking back toward his room with Moxie and Lee. “But things might change. This mortal has been progressing at a ridiculous rate. He may actually discover something that I can use.”

“If he survives,” Decras put in.

Renewal sighed. “Yes. If he survives. But do you really think it likely he runs into anything that can actually kill him? His companions are the ones at risk. As long as he isn’t captured, he’ll be fine.”

“Does it matter?” Decras asked. “There’s more than one way to die. Because of his little bout of thievery, Noah kept all his memories of the afterlife. He’s not mentally stable. If he loses the others – he’ll snap.”

“Which is why he’ll protect them,” Renewal said. She went to say something else, then paused and sent a look at Decras. “Wait. You just used his name.”

“What? No I didn’t.”

“Yes you did,” Renewal said, a grin stretching across her lips. “You’re just as invested as I am, aren’t you?”

“I most certainly am not. That’s why I’m doing my utmost to kill him in an entertaining way,” Decras snapped, crossing his arms in front of his chest and glaring at Renewal. “Unlike you, I’ve never been a fan of this sappy garbage. The only thing that forces mortals to grow is their greatest fear. Death.”

“That’s a miserable outlook on life. I can see why you can’t advance your Rune any farther.”

“Says the one who can’t advance hers.”

“I’m probably still farther along than you are.”

“Do you want to find out?” Decras asked, his eyes narrowing. “I’d be happy to oblige.”

“If you want me to chop your hand off again that badly, you can just ask,” Renewal said, not even looking over to Decras. “Be honest with yourself and admit you’re just jealous of Noah and Moxie. Their relationship is cute.”

“Your brains must have gotten rattled loose over the years,” Decras said, flopping back into his chair and rolling his eyes. “You’re like a child playing with dolls. If you really care that much about them, you really shouldn’t have let me send them that surprise.”

“It’s not going to be that big of a threat, is it?” Renewal asked. He didn’t respond. Renewal glanced at him out of the corners of her eyes. “Decras? You just said it would be a challenge. How big of a challenge is this?”

“Well, one of them might survive.”

“Show me the damn creature you sent their way,” Renewal snapped. “I swear, if you kill Moxie and Lee in such a stupid way, I am going to be pissed. What’s the fun in watching Noah on his own?”

Decras reached out toward the screen and the image rippled. Noah and the other mortals vanished, replaced by a grassy field. A huge figure strode through it, a wicked double-bladed axe strapped to his back and a dark hood pulled low over his face.

“You sent one of your apostles?” Renewal said, her voice raising in disbelief. “I thought you said you were going to send a challenge that would give them a good gift if they managed to survive!”

“I did!” Decras said defensively. “If they actually managed to beat him, think of the Runes they’d get!”

“He’s Rank 7!” Renewal exclaimed. “Are you an idiot? They’re going to die! Call him off!”

“I can’t,” Decras said, rubbing the back of his head. “The idiot isn’t talented enough to hear my voice. I can only communicate to most of my apostles through their head. The rest of them are a little… tone deaf – and Garina is ignoring me. Can’t you contact your bald churchgoer?”

“He barely even follows me. He’s too busy flirting with your little temptress,” Renewal snapped. She nearly rose out of her chair before she caught herself. It wasn’t like she could actually interfere herself.

Not without drawing the attention of the other gods – and that was the absolute last thing she wanted to do. But, as she watched the screen, a frown crossed her lips.

“Wait. Why is he walking? Shouldn’t he be at Arbitage already?”

“I told him to go slowly so he wouldn’t arrive too early,” Decras said. “It’s not going to change anything. An extra day or two won’t save them.”

“Damn it,” Renewal muttered. She glared at the screen, strongly considering splattering the apostle, consequences be damned. It had been so long since she’d found something of interest that even the ridicule of the other gods felt like it wasn’t as bad as losing the flower blossoming before her.

The apostle skidded to a halt in the grass. Renewal let out a relieved sigh.

“You managed to get through to him?”

“No,” Decras said, confusion muddling his words. “I didn’t do anything. I–”

A shadow stretched out across the ground before the apostle, and a scythe carved up from within it. From within it rose a man with a shit-eating grin plastered across his face.

“Hullo,” the man said, slinging his scythe across his shoulders and draping his arms over it. “Care to direct that murderous stride of yours somewhere else? I’m conducting an experiment in that direction.”

“Who is that, Decras?” Renewal asked. Decras didn’t respond. He was too busy staring at the screen.

“Revin,” the apostle said, his voice a mixture of derision and poorly hidden unease. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, come on now.” Revin’s grin widened, revealing his pointed teeth. “That’s no way to greet an old friend, is it?”

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