Return of the Runebound Professor

Rin’s voice echoed out through the amphitheater, fading into the distance behind Noah. The auction wasn’t quite at a close yet, but he was out of gold, and nobody else had enough gold to afford any more purchases.

It’s a good idea to leave early, regardless of money. No matter what the Troupe claims about safety and our identities being concealed, I’d rather be out early than trying to maneuver my way around the other people leaving.

The large double doors were still cracked open, so they were able to slip out of the amphitheater and set off down the hall leading back into the dressing room. Lee led their party, her long strides taking her considerably farther than the rest of them. She kept turning corners, then pausing and twitching impatiently for the others to catch up.

Noah kept his senses peeled for anyone that might have been watching them, but at least as far as he was aware, there didn’t seem to be any problems. They reached the dressing room and broke off into their respective rooms to retrieve their clothes and goods.

As soon as Noah’s hand touched the Imbued door, the energy within it shimmered and faded. The door swung open, revealing his belongings along with a few new additions. There was a bundle of Catchpaper protected by two thin pieces of leather lying on the ground, just in front of his grimoire.

And, poking out the top of the grimoire, was a tiny triangle of paper. Noah’s eyes narrowed. He shifted the bundle of paper to the side and picked his grimoire up. Even as he flipped it open, the little triangle of paper vanished into its depths – he could almost imagine a slurping noise as the book slurped what had likely been his Runes up like a noodle.

“Figures,” Noah muttered, flipping the book open. Its pages were blank, but he’d expected that. “I hope you didn’t eat any of Lee’s Runes. We’re going to need those soon. Actually, I’m going to need mine soon as well. Don’t get too attached.”

The book closed itself on his hand. Noah cursed, yanking his hand free and shaking it off. It hadn’t hurt so much as stung, but he still glared at the grimoire. The eye on its cover rippled, blinking up at him before fading back into the leather.

“Brat.” Noah changed into his normal clothes and gathered the rest of his belongings. When he was done, he flipped through the leather wrapped bundle of Catchpaper. Luckily, it looked that whoever had sold Lee’s Runes had wrapped them for safety, and that had kept his grimoire from eating any more.

Noah tucked the bundle into his travel bag and slung his grimoire over his shoulder, striding back out into the main room. The others had all already finished and were waiting in a small group in the corner. Lee had returned to her normal form and size.

“Sorry. Technical difficulties,” Noah said. “I’ve got your Runes, Lee. Do you want them now?”

“Can you hold onto them until we can actually fix stuff?” Lee asked. “I’m not very good at keeping things that aren’t already inside my body. I lose them. Or eat them.”

“Consider it done. In that case, I want to–”

“Get food!” Lee exclaimed, thrusting a finger up. “We’re going to Pillen’s Fishhouse. I paid a lot of gold for that information, so we can’t waste it.”

Yeah. And then you shared it with literally everyone in the auction house before we could stop you. Besides, I want to upgrade my Runes…

“We can go some other–”

Lee’s eyes bored into Noah’s, large and watery. Her lip trembled – and he could swear that her eyes were actually growing larger. Lee was changing the shape of her face to better mimic the pleading eyes of a small, starving puppy.

“Oh, goddamn it. Fine,” Noah grumbled.

Lee’s face snapped back to normal and she beamed. “Great!”

“I think you just got played,” Moxie said as they all followed Lee up the stairs.

“The jokes on her. I don’t have any money,” Noah said with a grin. “She’s going to have to pay for my meal.”

“You know, didn’t we have a bet about having to cook a meal that got interrupted by… well, a lot of shit?” Moxie cast a glance in Karina and Contessa’s direction, clearly not wanting to say too much in their presence.

“Huh. Yeah, we did,” Noah said. “As I recall, I’m pretty sure we all lost. We should get around to doing that. It’s been a while since I’ve cooked anything, but it could be fun. Just make sure Lee isn’t the one that chooses the ingredients when we get around to it.”

They continued up the stairs, soon emerging from the small house and stepping back into the starry night.

Lee held up the piece of paper that she’d bought at the auction, squinting at the back before lowering it and glancing around. She pointed down the path. “That way.”

“Do you still need our help?” Karina asked, shifting her weight from foot to foot. “Because, if not, I’d like to go to bed.”

“As would I,” Contessa said. “I need to get some food for Mascot as well. I don’t know if he’s eaten today.”

“Yeah, sure. Thanks for your help getting us in, ladies.” Noah started to nod, then paused. “Wait, Mascot eats?”

“Yeah. You didn’t know?” Contessa frowned. “He eats a lot.”

“Huh. I guess he always just hunted for food… or something? I didn’t think he needed to eat.”

Why does a manifestation of my Rune need food? Or does it just find eating fun? I wouldn’t put it past the little bugger.

Contessa and Karina both broke away while Noah was lost in thought, setting off for the T building at a brisk pace. Lee grabbed Noah and Moxies’ hands.

“Come on! Let’s go. I’m hungry.”

For a moment, it felt like a child pulling their parents through a theme park toward her favorite ride. That feeling immediately vanished when Lee nearly yanked Noah off his feet. He started off with her, reminded that Lee was more than capable of sprinting the entire way over to the restaurant waving him and Moxie over her head like kites.

“Where’d you put the directions?” Noah asked as Lee led them down the road. “I thought you needed them.”

“Memorized ‘em,” Lee replied, taking a turn down the road and accelerating. She licked her lips. “How many fish do you think I can buy with nine thousand gold?”

“I think you should probably save some for a later date,” Noah suggested. “If you spend it all now, then you won’t have any money to buy food with later.”

“That seems like a problem for me to deal with later,” Lee said, scrunching her nose. “I want to eat now.”

“By the way – Lee, why did you call out to the announcer about the restaurant?” Noah asked. “You easily could have found it just by asking an attendant or just by smelling it out, no?”

Lee slowed, nearly coming to a stop as she turned to look back at Noah.

“Yeah. I probably could have.”

“Then–”

“But, this way, lots of people will be able to find out about it and enjoy the food.” Lee shrugged. “Why would I try to hide that? It’s not like I can’t eat if they can’t, and most of them probably wouldn’t spend money on buying something like a restaurant name.”

Lee set back off, moving faster than she had been before and forcing the others to jog to keep up. Noah mulled over her words, but he didn’t have much time to think. Lee jerked to a halt and Noah nearly tripped over her. He managed to catch himself at the last second, stepping to past Lee to avoid bulldozing her.

They stood next to a long, single-story building made of wood. A rickety sign hung from the top of the open door, so old and faded that Noah had to squint to make anything out. He was fairly sure there had once been a fish and some words carved on it, but now all that remained was a vague, ovular outline.

The building was one strong breeze away from falling over. There weren’t any windows – just holes in the wall to see out of. They’d been placed just above head height so he couldn’t see inside through them.

“This is it,” Lee said.

“It looks… interesting,” Moxie said diplomatically.

I think we might have gotten scammed.

“It smells good.” Lee pushed the door and it opened with a loud squeak to reveal the interior of the restaurant.

It was made up of a single, large room with an open door to what Noah suspected to be a kitchen on the back wall. The room had several long tables running along its middle, each large enough to seat a dozen people.

There were a few smaller tables sized for six at the sides of the room, but there weren’t any smaller ones. And, to Noah’s surprise, almost every single table was full. The room was bustling. Low chatter buzzed in the air, far quieter than it should have been.

A swirling pattern on the wood to his side caught Noah’s eye. He peered closer at it, but he already knew what he was going to find. It was an Imbuement. And, now that he’d seen the first swirl, it wasn’t hard to locate the other patterns covering the walls and ground.

This whole place is Imbued like a fortress. Holy shit.

A man with a thick mop of black hair wearing a blood-splattered white apron strode up to them, and Noah nearly reached for his magic to defend himself. There was such an intense scowl on the man’s face that he looked like he was an inch from trying to run them through.

“How many?” the man spoke with a strong accent that Noah couldn’t place, and it wasn’t helped by the fish bone he was using as a toothpick.

“Three,” Lee said. “We want food.”

“We don’t seat three. You fine sharing a table?”

“Don’t care,” Lee said. “Just give me food. I smell it in your kitchen.”

A corner of the man’s mouth quirked up in what was possibly the smallest smile ever recorded in human history. He nodded over to one of the smaller, six person tables where a man and a woman already sat. “Good. That’s the only damn thing you’re going to get. Go sit down over there. Those two just arrived, so you won’t have to sit and watch them eat while you wait for your own meal.”

“Thanks!” Lee said. She strode through the room, slipping by waiters – all of whom seemed to wear a splattered apron. Noah wasn’t sure if the blood was part of the uniform or if they all just liked brutally murdering the fish they worked with, but he decided not to ask.

They approached the table. Noah almost missed a step as he got a closer look at the two people at their table. The woman’s skin was so pale that it was practically pure white, which only made her dark red, almost black lips stand out even sharper. Long, black hair framed her face and hung low at her back. She had a spiked choker around her throat – and the spikes looked like they were real. The woman’s features were beautiful, but in the most unsettling way that Noah could use the word. Haunting might have been more accurate.

The man across from her only made the woman stand out even more. If she was a freezing winter, then he was the warm summer. His face was plain and kind, clean shaven of any hair. While his cheeks weren’t exactly round, they certainly weren’t chiseled either.

For a moment, Noah felt like the man seemed familiar, but he couldn’t place anything about him. Lee sat down on the long bench beside the woman, not even bothering to introduce herself.

“What are you doing?” the woman asked, her eyes sharp as she turned to glare at Lee.

“I am sitting. This is our table,” Lee replied. She spotted a menu lying between the man and the woman and snagged it.

“What is a d–”

“Garina, please,” the man said hurriedly, holding his hands up. “This is a group restaurant. They seat people together. Look at the other tables.”

“I did not ask to be seated next to others. You try my patience, Ferd.”

“Ferd? Why are you – ah, never mind. This is just how it works here. We could always go somewhere else if you’d prefer?” the man offered, giving Garina a placating smile. Noah didn’t miss the flicker of worry that passed through his expression.

For a moment, Garina didn’t respond. Her lips pressed thin and she shrugged. “Fine. If this is how it’s done, then I suppose I would be remiss in being standoffish. What a pain.”

Nice lady.

Noah took the spot beside Lee, and Moxie sat down beside him. Lee’s eyes darted over to the menu between Garina and Ferd. Noah was pretty sure that Garina was studying it, but for some reason she hadn’t picked it up.

Lee didn’t notice – or, more likely, she didn’t care. She reached over, snagging the menu and bringing it over to herself. One of Garina’s eyes followed the menu’s path. Noah cleared his throat.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Vermil. The little one is Lee, and this is Moxie.”

“A pleasure to make your acquaintance,” Ferd said with an easygoing smile. “Garina and I are… traveling through the empire. We heard that this location was interesting, so we decided to make a stop. Please excuse my companion’s harsh tone. She means nothing by–”

There was a thump, and Ferd grunted. Noah was pretty sure Garina had just kicked him under the table. Moxie sent Noah an amused look, and he gave her a small shrug in response.

Looks like we got a table next to some weirdos. The guy seems nice enough at least. As long as we don’t interact with them too much, it should be fine.

“So, what are you going to order?” Ferd asked Garina, clearly trying to keep her attention on him.

“There was a dish called the Weeping Sawtooth. It sounded fun, so I’ll get that.”

That sounds like a weapon.

“I was going to go with a plain sunfish. It seems like a good spot to start,” Ferd said.

“Nice and plain,” Garina said, a small grin pulling at her lips. “What a coincidence. Just like you.”

“I am sure I will enjoy it regardless. Appreciating the finer things in life is one of Her greatest teachings. We must enjoy–”

“Is She here?” Garina asked, leaning forward and arching an eyebrow.

Ferd cleared his throat. “No.”

“In that case, the only woman whose teachings you should be concerned about are mine.” Garina gave him a grin – and Noah caught a flash of pointed, sharklike teeth.

Ah, fantastic. Definitely weirdos. Whatever. I don’t care. It looks like they’re occupied with each other, so as long as –

“Whoa,” Lee said, staring straight at Garina. “Your teeth are really pointy. How do you avoid biting your tongue?”

Goddamn it.

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