Return of the Runebound Professor

A short walk later, the two of them arrived at the Office. Lee sniffed at the air as they approached the front doors, then licked her lips.

“I smell food.”

“You know what? I’m not surprised.”

In fact, I’m rather counting on it.

Noah pulled the door open. To his mild amusement, the secretary sat at the desk as she always did. And, as there always seemed to be, a pile of food was set out before her. The secretary didn’t acknowledge them as they stepped in.

“Is this where we’re getting food?” Lee asked.

“No. I’m still reporting my rank,” Noah replied. He walked up to the desk and cleared his throat. As he expected, the secretary raised a single finger, not looking up from her meal. And, based on how much food was left, Noah doubted she’d be done anytime soon.

Perfect. Now, just to make sure I’ve got plausible deniability, I should wait a bit.

Noah leaned against the desk, tapping his foot on the ground as he let minutes pass. Lee looked from him to the food, then slowly edged closer to the table. He pretended not to notice as one of Lee’s fingers slowly extended, slithering out like a small snake to snag a banana from where it rested at the base of a small pile of fruit.

With the precision of a master thief, Lee pulled the banana back to herself one inch at a time. She wound it past plates of smoked meats and steaming bread, weaving through a veritable minefield.

The secretary’s wholehearted focus on her meal proved to be more than enough cover for Lee to liberate the banana from its fate – only to stuff the whole thing into her mouth, skin and all.

Lee caught Noah watching her and gave him a sheepish grin, the sides of the banana poking at either side of her mouth. She chewed once, then swallowed it whole, not making a single noise.

Her eyes drifted back to the table.

I better do something before she actually gets caught.

“I’m here to report my rank,” Noah said. “It changed.”

The secretary raised a finger. She wiped greasy hands off on her shirt, then reached for a sandwich.

“I – Vermil Linwick – have reached Rank 3. I just wanted to make sure it was known so Arbitage could adjust their records and provide me with the appropriate pay.”

Lee slipped a cookie off the table. The secretary took a huge bite out of her admittedly delicious looking sandwich. She didn’t once do so much as acknowledge Noah’s presence, which was just fine with him.

“Well, that’s that.” Noah shrugged. “Shall we, Lee?”

Lee grabbed another cookie, then followed after him as he walked out of the building. She threw a glance over her shoulder before eating both cookies in one bite. “I don’t think she heard you.”

“That’s fine. That was the plan.”

“You wanted to be ignored?”

“Pretty much. Think about it. My Rank advancement is a little fast, and if I hit Rank 4 soon, it’s definitely going to raise questions. People would probably assume Father is giving me a bunch of Runes for some reason. But, if I can can say that I reported my ranks a while ago and nobody ever recorded them. The less concrete data there is, the harder it’ll be to pin exactly when I hit anything.”

“Does it matter that much?”

“No clue,” Noah admitted. “But I figure it’s better to be safe than sorry. Doing it this way gives me a way out that I can lean on if I really need it. I doubt I will, but you never know.”

Lee shrugged. “We’re getting food now, right?”

Noah’s stomach rumbled again and he nodded. “Yeah. Anything in particular you want? Ah – not squirrels. Not anything that’s still alive, please.”

Lee scrunched her nose. “You can’t knock it if you haven’t tried it.”

“Some things are better left untried. Besides, if I start eating them, then wouldn’t there be less for you?”

“Oh. That’s a good point. Okay. What about that?” Lee pointed at a food cart on the other side of the square, where a small line had built up before a man selling what Noah was pretty sure were hot dogs.

He’d chosen a good spot to set up shop. There was a garden just behind him with several tables scattered throughout it. Other students and professors sat around the garden, eating and talking.

“That works,” Noah said.

It’s been a while since I’ve had hot dogs. I get the feeling they probably aren’t called that here. How’d they even get that name in the first place? They don’t resemble dogs at all. They aren’t made from dogs either.

One of life’s great mysteries, I guess.

He and Lee stepped into the line, and they didn’t have to wait long. The merchant – a bushy-eyebrowed man with a double chin – moved everyone along quickly, taking money and practically flinging the hot dogs into his customers’ hands before shooing them along. They soon stood at the front.

“How many meat sticks you want?” the merchant asked.

Meat sticks? God, that’s an unappetizing way to put it.

“Ah… eight?” Noah said after a moment. The merchant’s eyebrows rose, but he didn’t so much as flinch.

“One silver a piece.”

Noah handed the man a gold coin. “Could we just get ten?”

Flashing him a gap-toothed grin, the merchant plucked several hot dogs – Noah refused to think of them as meat sticks – from his wagon and slapped them into bread buns. He poured a speckled orange sauce over the first and handed it to Noah.

Noah handed the hot dog to Lee, who slid the whole thing into her mouth and swallowed without chewing.

The merchant poured the condiment over the second hot dog and looked up as he handed it to Noah. He paused, a frown flickering over his face as he realized that Noah no longer had the first hot dog.

His eyes widened as Noah once again forked the hot dog over to Lee, who repeated her disappearing act and ate it one bite. The merchant readied another two hot dogs, not taking his eyes off Lee as he slid them across the table.

Like the previous two, they were devoured in less than a second. The merchant opened his mouth, then thought better of whatever it was he was going to say and settled for getting the other six hot dogs over to Noah.

Noah fed all but three of them to Lee, then gathered the remainder and inclined his head before heading off to the park with Lee at his side.

“Are they any good?” Noah asked, spotting a table in the corner of the park and changing course to head for it.

“They taste like meat. A lot of different kinds of meat, actually. I think there’s some–”

“Wait!” Noah said hurriedly. “I don’t think I want to know. Sometimes, the only way you can enjoy these things is by living in ignorance. I don’t need to be haunted by the ghost of whatever creatures got pushed into these things. If I find out there are squirrels in this, I don’t know if I’d be able to keep going.”

Lee tilted her head to the side, a thoughtful look passing over her features. Noah stuck a hot dog into her mouth.

“Don’t tell me that there’s squirrel in it now just to eat mine.”

Lee swallowed, then grinned. “It was a good idea, though. You gave me one.”

“It was yours anyway. I’m just making you save one until we actually make it to the table.” Noah rolled his eyes. “I’d have saved one for Moxie, but it’ll probably be cold by the time we get back. Better to buy it as we leave.”

He pulled a chair out and sat down at the table, taking a bite out of one of the two remaining hotdogs. It was actually pretty good – not exactly the flavors he remembered from back on Earth, though. The sauce the merchant had used was a lot stronger than he’d expected it to be.

Noah spotted Lee eyeing the last untouched hotdog. He held it out. “Want it?”

Lee started to nod, then paused midway through sitting down and scrunched her nose. “Hold on.”

“Is something wrong?”

“No. I just need to go relieve myself,” Lee replied.

Noah blinked, then shrugged. “I’ll be here.”

With a nod, Lee turned and strode off into the garden.

***

Faint tingles of magic danced across Aiden’s fingertips as he watched his target from the cover of a large bush. It would only take a single bolt of concentrated wind between the man’s eyes to kill him where he sat, but that almost felt too easy.

Jalen had been pretty insistent that his target was more than what met the eye. He probably had some form of Shield that would protect him from a silent, ranged attack unless it was strong enough – and a powerful attack drew attention.

Aiden watched the man happily take a bite of his meat stick, completely unaware of his presence. If he hadn’t been on the job, he would have laughed.

How is someone like this drawing the attention of the Family Head? He knows he’s being hunted, but he sits out in the open like it’s just any other day. Does he have a really powerful Shield that’s beyond his Rank?

Even if he does, that won’t stop a physical attack unless he’s ready for it.

Aiden’s fists clenched. There was a chance that the man was ready for it, though. Would anyone be stupid enough to just walk around in broad daylight when they knew they were being hunted?

No. Of course not. He must be so confident in his defenses that he doesn’t even see us as a threat.

The back of Aiden’s spine prickled. He released his grip on the magic, letting it fade back into his soul. His target wasn’t oblivious. No wonder the previous assassin had died. He’d fallen for the very trap laid before him.

Damned Plains. I nearly died. If I attacked, I would have given my position away. Yes, that’s it. I doubt he knows I’m actually here, so he wants to draw me out so I reveal my location and he can cut me down.

That won’t work. I’ll reposition and strike when he doesn’t actually expect it.

Aiden turned – and nearly let out a startled scream. A student-aged girl with reddish black hair leaned against the tree directly behind him, an inscrutable expression on her face. Somehow, she’d managed to sneak up on him.

“Damned Plains, girl,” Aiden cursed, keeping his voice low. “What are you doing?”

“Looking at you.”

The answer was so straight forward that it caught Aiden completely off guard.

Is she propositioning to me? Guess I’ve still got it.

Wait. No. I’m on the job. Jalen would have my head if I got distracted. I can deal with other matters once the target is dead.

“I’m flattered, but I’m afraid my current job is taking my full attention,” Aiden said with an apologetic tilt of his head. “I’m currently investigating this garden for pests. I hope I didn’t startle you, miss.”

“Nope.”

“What a relief.” Aiden gave her what he believed to be a winning smile. “I’d love to get to know you another time, though.”

The girl stepped toward Aiden.

Wow, she’s forward.

“Oh, not that.”

Aiden frowned. The back of his neck prickled and he resisted the urge to glance over his shoulder. “Not what?”

“I wasn’t saying no to being startled. I meant you weren’t looking for pests.”

Something cold pressed into the back of Aiden’s neck. Confusion exploded through him as he tried to turn, but found that his body wasn’t responding to his commands any longer. His legs buckled and he fell back, hitting the dirt with a thump.

Aiden couldn’t feel anything. It was like his entire body had gone numb. Something wet pressed into his back, and the sky swam above him. The girl’s face wavered in the air above him, but he wasn’t sure where it had come from.

“You can’t be looking for the pest,” the girl said. Her fingers elongated, sharpening into glistening points. “You are the pest.”

He tried to scream for help, but she slapped her other hand over his mouth, muffling his words. Her palm tasted like blood. Something deep in Aiden’s mind – the part that wasn’t erupting in panic – told him that his body’s failure to respond was because his spinal cord had been severed.

Aiden didn’t have much time to process it. The girl brought her other hand down, and Aiden knew no more.

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