Return of the Runebound Professor

“It’s a bit… larger than I’d imagined,” Noah said. “I can see why the Linwicks didn’t care that much about this. It’s a bloody shield, not a book.”

“Are you complaining about extra Catchpaper?” Karina sent him an annoyed look. “This is an artifact. And the size isn’t the reason they stopped using it.”

“What is?”

“I… well, I don’t know,” Karina admitted. “But the book is problematic. That’s all I could find. I suppose it could have been the size, but that feels like a bit of a stretch.”

“Well, only one way to find out. Can I pick it up?”

Karina examined the edges of the coffin. She walked in a circle around it, then shrugged. “I think so? I don’t see anything connecting the book to any hidden Imbued traps. It’s… probably fine.”

“You don’t sound very confident.”

“I’m not,” Karina said tersely. “I might get blown up at any second, and you aren’t helping. But at least I’ll die my own woman, without Father hanging his sword over my head.”

Noah shrugged. He tapped one of the skeletons bony fingers. When it didn’t respond, he pulled the hand to the side. It wasn’t particularly hard. Skeletons weren’t great at resisting much of anything – if it had wanted to try something, it would have had to do it back when it was still alive.

Just to be safe, Noah brought his fist down on the skeleton’s skull. Karina flinched back at the loud crack. Noah shook his hand off to get rid of the dust covering it.

“What was that for?” Karina demanded.

“It’s a skeleton in a creepy crypt. It’s definitely going to come alive when I touch the book,” Noah said.

“I told you that there weren’t any Imbuements left on it. Probably.”

“The probably is the part I was pre-reacting to.” Noah pulled the skeletons other hand away, then touched the book with a single finger. When nothing happened, he picked it up. Despite its size, the book was actually surprisingly light.

He lifted it out of the tomb and held it out before him. The motion shifted the skeleton, and Noah spun toward it – only to find that the book actually had a long strap on it. A strap that had caught right on the skeleton’s spine.

Noah ducked as he mistakenly yanked the skeleton from its resting place, using the strap of the book to slingshot it across the room. It crashed into the wall and crumbled to pieces, sending a puff of bone dust up into the air.

Karina stared at him as he straightened back up, brushing himself off.

“What?” Noah asked. “Evasive maneuvers.”

“It’s beyond me how you’re the one that managed to make Father agree to anything,” Karina muttered. “At least you’ve made sure the skeleton isn’t going to be attacking anyone.”

“All part of my plan.” Noah held the book out before him. He was tempted to open it. Had it been the Noah of a few months ago, he would have. Instead, he slung it over his shoulder and let it rest on his back. “I’ll wait to screw with this thing until we get out of here. We don’t need more things to deal with.”

“Good idea,” Karina said, starting back out into the path. Noah stepped after her, still half expecting the catacombs to come down on top of them.

No such thing happened, and they made their way back up to Lee and Moxie without any trouble. As they stepped out into the main hall, Lee’s eyes went wide.

“That’s a big book.”

“That’s what I said.” Noah chuckled, though he kept his voice low. It didn’t feel like a good idea to make too much noise. “It wasn’t too hard to get thanks to Karina, though. Did anything happen up here?”

Moxie shook her head. “Nothing. We heard some noise coming from the hall, though. For a moment, I thought you’d gotten into a fight.”

“Nothing like that. I just accidentally flung a skeleton across the room.”

“Accidentally?” Moxie arched an eyebrow.

“It was holding onto the book and needed some special encouragement to let go.”

“Sounds fun. Can we get more stuff now?” Lee asked. “There are so many hallways. There’s got to be good things, even if this whole place mostly smells like dust and dead people.”

“We should just leave,” Karina said. “We got what we came here for.”

“Actually, we were able to walk into that room without any trouble,” Noah mused. “If we don’t touch anything, can’t we look around? Passing up on something useful could be a mistake. Who knows when we’ll get a chance like this again.”

“Or you’ll get yourself killed,” Karina said, crossing her arms. “Stupid decision. I don’t want to die because of your greed.”

Noah exchanged a look with Moxie and Lee. He pulled the artifact off his back and handed it to Moxie. “Here. I haven’t opened it yet, so we should probably leave it that way. Can you all head out?”

“You’ve got a death wish,” Karina said. “You’re going to stay here alone?”

Noah shrugged. “It’s not like the place is a maze. It was a straight path. Why are you concerned? You can leave safely.”

Karina opened her mouth, then closed it and shrugged. “Good point. Let’s get out of here. If you want to kill yourself, feel free.”

“I can’t stay?” Lee frowned. “I wanted to look around.”

“Probably better to be safe,” Noah said. “Let me take the risks. I promise I’ll bring you anything that looks interesting if I can get my hands on it.”

“Okay!” Lee spun and started heading for the exit without another word. Moxie shared one last look with Noah, then herded Karina along and followed after the demon.

“Make sure you wait for long enough to get out of here before you do anything,” Karina said, craning her head back to look at Noah. “If you mess with the wrong thing, the catacombs could collapse on all of us.”

“Noted,” Noah said.

He watched their backs recede into the darkness, then counted down in his head. Noah didn’t remember exactly how long it had taken them to get down to where he was now, but he didn’t want to risk anything.

Fortunately, as much as he didn’t like it, Noah was good at letting time slip by. He’d had a lot of training. Before he knew it, half an hour had gone by. He blinked, shaking himself out of his reverie.

The dark surroundings, illuminated only by the fading light of his burning Flashgrass, were eerily similar to the line. Noah shook his head and rose to his feet, brushing the dust off the back of his pants before choosing a path at random and starting down it.

At the moment, his goal wasn’t to take anything. It was simply to see if there was anything worth risking a death to take.

And that was what he did. Over the course of an hour, Noah wandered through the catacombs, checking every room in the hall.

Nobody could say the Linwicks were poor. The room that Karina had taken him into was probably the smallest of the lot – and the least tempting. Many of the others were chock full of gold, riches, and weapons that were so clearly Imbued that even a fool couldn’t have missed it.

In one room, a sword humming with energy floated in the air above a pedestal, just begging Noah to take it. He made a mental note of the room’s location and returned, not willing to touch anything until he had a better understanding of what would be worth taking.

His trek through the catacombs led him deeper and deeper, until he actually found the end. A single room at the far side of the long hall, only a short walk down a hallway. It was circular, and the only thing within it was a thick, towering book upon a dais. It was nearly two feet tall, and adorned with only a single word on its cover.

Records of the Deceased

“Huh,” Noah murmured. “That’s interesting. Not super useful, but interesting.”

He turned to leave, then paused. Given how many rooms were in the catacombs and how thick the book was, there was probably more information than just who had died in the book.

Could it have information about the artifacts here? If it does, that could be invaluable. I could figure out what I should risk trying to steal. Then again, this very book could also be trapped.

Noah stood, staring at the book in consideration for several seconds. He could always snag one of the more interesting weapons he’d seen and sprint for the exit, praying he made it in time.

That was the easy answer – but it wasn’t the smart one. If he could just figure out what the best artifacts were in the cave, he’d have the best chance of making this worthwhile.

I just hope Moxie and Lee put some distance between themselves and Karina. I really don’t want to revive next to her if things go wrong.

Heaving a sigh, Noah made his decision. It was a bit of a stupid move, but it was a calculated one. Even with the risk of setting off a trap, the book’s information was just too useful. He’d just have to be fast. And, if he wasn’t, the worst that could happen was death.

Noah crept toward the dais, scanning the ground for Imbuements. There didn’t seem to be any, but they could have easily been only below the book.

He drew up alongside it, then made the plunge and set a hand on the front page, flipping the book open. A faint tingle ran down his fingers and a buzzing filled his ears. Noah froze, but nothing else happened.

He’d come this far, so Noah turned the page and read the foreword.

The Records of the Deceased contains the name of every Linwick that has lived and died. This book exists to ensure that the records of our family remain in perpetuity. The artifacts housed within these catacombs are catalogued within these pages.

It is of utmost importance that no record of this book exists. If you were able to open this book, then you are of Linwick blood. The Imbuements woven into the threads of the paper will strike down any who do not possess the bloodline of our family, but the book is only truly safe so long as none are aware of it.

To speak of The Records of Deceased aloud is to commit grave affront to the entire family. Ensure that its secrets live and die only within its pages and your mind.

Noah swallowed. He was suddenly glad that he’d sent everyone else away. If Lee or Moxie had touched the book, it strongly implied that they would have just dropped dead on the spot.

That explained why there was so little defense around it. In the eyes of whoever had left it here, the book was the defense.

I wonder how many people from the Linwick family actually know this thing exists. It looks ancient… and you can’t keep a secret when a lot of people know about it.

Noah flipped through the pages. They were plain, bearing only people’s names, a brief description of them including their status as alive or dead, and occasionally, the location that they had been buried in.

He continued thumbing through the pages, scanning over each of them. He was mostly just skimming in search of the people that had died in the Whiterock Catacombs. He found several of them, taking note of their artifacts.

The book appeared to be in order of birthdate. A bout of curiosity struck Noah and he flipped past a large chunk of the book. It thunked as he pushed over to the latest pages, flipping through pages in search of himself.

It took him a while, but he found it.

Vermil Linwick. Deceased.

“Well, shit,” Noah muttered. “That’s not ideal. It’s definitely magical, though.”

The temptation to rip the page out was strong, but he was pretty sure that the book was some form of artifact if it was magically updating itself. He was actually pretty sure the best thing he could do was leave the book entirely alone.

He flipped the page idly. If he was here, then Brayden probably was too.

Brayden Linwick. Living.

Sure enough, Brayden was right beside him. Noah only spent a moment looking at Brayden’s page before the blood in his veins froze as he caught sight of the page beside Brayden’s.

Father Linwick. Deceased.

Noah slowly reached into his pocket and pulled out the paper that Father had given him. It was pristine. He was still alive – which meant, according to Karina, that the person who had given it to him was still alive.

It didn’t make sense for the book to be wrong, though. And that meant that – the person that had given Noah the paper that currently sat in his pocket…

…wasn’t Father at all.

“What the fuck?” Noah whispered.

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