Return of the Runebound Professor

“Haggling depends on your starting offer,” Moxie said, not missing a beat. “Open strong or we find a different merchant.”

“Would you really rob my family–”

“Sons or daughters?” Moxie asked, cutting Thaddius off.

The merchant blinked. “Daughters. Beautiful little girls, but every day is a struggle to put food–”

“How old?”

Thaddius’ brow furrowed in confusion. “Nine and ten, respectively.”

“Adopted?”

“No, sired myself. I’m not quite sure I understand–”

“You had no wife or children when I was last here,” Moxie said, flashing a cold smile to Thaddius. “And that was less than nine years ago. Unless you’ve developed a way to bend time itself, you don’t have any kids.”

Thaddius was still for several moments. Then he cursed under his breath. “I forgot we spoke of that the last time you were here. Who remembers such an unimportant detail?”

“Family is important,” Moxie replied. “Now give us the offer already.”

“Bah. Gold is important. Family can be bought – and for you, I will offer two thousand three hundred gold.”

Noah’s eyes nearly bulged out of his head. Two thousand. He’d still yet to register with Arbitage to get his new pay as a Rank 3, wanting to avoid all the excess attention he’d draw from ranking up twice so quickly, but that was still… well, magnitudes above anything he’d ever had. It was a ludicrous amount.

“Too low,” Moxie said immediately. “Three thousand five hundred.”

“Three thousand?” Thaddius slammed a clenched fist into his table, making it shudder. “Do you wish to strip the clothes from my back and spank me raw?”

They stared at him silently for several seconds. Thaddius cleared his throat and adjusted the collar of his shirt.

“Figure of speech. Are you trying to run me dry? Cruel indeed – no good merchant would give you a hair over two thousand three hundred, I tell you that. But, since I am giving you the benefits of a friend, I will settle for two thousand five hundred.”

Moxie crossed her arms and pierced Thaddius with a glare. Noah had been subject to that particular disdainful look before, but it had been quite a while. He still remembered feeling it the first time he’d ever met Moxie, and it wasn’t a pleasant feeling. She had the disgusted stink-eye down to a science. Thaddius held her gaze without blinking. It was like watching an unstoppable force strike an immovable object.

“Twenty-seven hundred,” Moxie said.

“Twenty-five is already a fantastic price. You are delusional if you want any–”

“Twenty-five hundred for everything other than the horn,” Moxie said, slapping a hand on the table. “The horn we auction, and you get ten percent for arranging the sale.”

Thaddius tilted his head to the side. “The horn? Why would I care–”

“It’s the only thing that you showed more than a few passing seconds of interest for aside from the poison sac, and you had to inspect that to make sure it hadn’t burst. That means you want it, so it’s worth a lot.”

Thaddius interlaced his fingers and let out a patronizing chuckle. “Ah, Moxie. You are an optimistic girl. This horn is worth nothing. Nobody will buy it in an auction. I will give you twenty-six for the entire lot. How’s that?”

“Nope. You definitely want the horn. Three thousand for everything other than the horn and I let you keep ten percent of the auction price.”

Thaddius pushed back from his chair and rose to his full height, standing easily two feet above Moxie. He thrust an accusatory finger in her direction. “You’re going the wrong way. You’re meant to haggle the price down, not up. Are you trying to make fun of me?”

“The next offer is going to be three thousand five hundred.”

“Bah. Your horn isn’t worth that much anyway. No other merchant will give it a second of thought. It is just a colorful little bone. Who would pay any significant amount of money for that? Ludicrous.”

“Noah, can you start collecting everything back up?” Moxie asked, not taking her eyes off Thaddius. “We’re going elsewhere.”

Noah shrugged and reached for the horn. Thaddius’ hand shot out with surprising speed, moving to grab his wrist. Thaddius was considerably faster than Noah had expected, but after spending as much time as Noah had fighting, even that wasn’t enough to completely surprise him. He jerked his arm back, avoiding Thaddius’ grasp, and snagged the horn off the table.

“Wait!” Thaddius said hurriedly. “We have not finished bargaining. Don’t be so hasty, Moxie. Think of my children.”

“You don’t have any.”

“I am working on it. You attempt to rip even the barest profits from my hands. How will I find a wife if you leave me bereft of any way to feed myself, much less someone else?”

“You could try a hooker.”

“Alas, they also cost money. Twenty-five hundred and ten percent of the auction price.”

“Twenty-eight.”

Thaddius pursed his lips, considering Moxie for a few moments. His eyes watered like Moxie had just kicked his dog and stolen his lunch. Finally, letting out a heartbroken sigh, he held his hand out. Moxie reached out and grasped it, her hand looking like a child’s in comparison to his.

They shook, and a huge grin stretched across Thaddius’ face. He clapped Moxie on the shoulder, then beckoned eagerly to Noah. “Horn. Give it back, my friend.”

Noah returned the horn, now completely baffled as to what was going on. He’d watched videos of people haggling back on Earth, but this felt more like he’d stumbled into two people speaking an entirely different language. He’d been certain they were about to leave and find a new merchant until just a few seconds ago.

“So, what is it?” Moxie asked.

“No idea,” Thaddius replied with a shrug and a hearty laugh. “I am not an expert in rare items, but I know a valuable piece when I see it. To the right collector, this will sell very well.”

“Through an auction house?” Noah guessed.

“Not an auction house. We are not important enough for that, my friend,” Thaddius said with a chuckle. “No, it will go through a private auction. I will reach out to my contacts and get the deal accomplished within a few days. I trust that is sufficient?”

“It’s acceptable,” Moxie allowed, uncrossing her arms and putting a hand on Lee’s shoulder before she could wander off into the store. Thaddius counted several stacks of gold out onto the table, then pushed everything into a cloth bag and handed it to Moxie.

“Is there anything I could interest you in my shop?” Thaddius asked, gesturing to the clutter surrounding them. “It is of only the highest quality. A great way to lighten your load on the way out the door.”

“And for you to make your money back. We’re done for today, but if something specific we want comes to mind, I’ll come find you,” Moxie promised.

Thaddius bid them farewell as they headed out of his store, a cheerful note to his tone. Noah got the feeling that Moxie probably could have gotten a better deal if she’d pressed a bit harder, but she’d done far better than he would have.

“Holy shit,” Noah said once they were out on the street and walking once again. “Have you done this before, Moxie?”

“Occasionally,” Moxie replied. She made little effort to hide the smug grin on her face. “Not half bad, I’d say. I could have driven the price higher, though. You saw how happy Thaddius was when we left.”

“I did, but I think you did better than I would have, and certainly better than Lee.”

“Hey!” Lee protested, tearing her eyes away from a street food vendor and glaring at Noah. “I’m a great negotiator.”

“All he’d have to do is offer you a few pieces of food and you’d fold.”

Lee opened her mouth, then closed it again. “Okay, maybe. But gold buys food. A thousand gold is a lot of food. I probably would have taken that first offer he gave.”

“Then you’re both equally bad.” Moxie laughed.

They walked for a few more minutes, heading deeper into the city. The crowd grew a little thicker as they approached the center of Dawnforge. Moxie took them up to a long, four story building that ran down an entire street. Large windows at the bottom revealed a populated dining room, its wooden tables lit by warm orange light cast by torches hanging from the walls.

They entered, finding themselves in a large waiting room. Two lines stretched before them. The longer of which led up to a wooden stand near the entrance to the dining room, where a waitress was going about seating the newcomers.

The other went up to a table beside a wide stairwell. A woman – identical to the waitress at the head of the other line – sat behind the desk, scratching away on a sheaf of paper with her quill.

Both lines moved quickly, and it wasn’t long before Noah and the others found themselves before the woman. A small wood plate sat at the top of the desk, identifying her name and role.

Bethany – Assistant Innkeeper

“Welcome to the Stirring Sprawl,” Bethany said, looking up at them with a polite smile. “Are you looking to get rooms?”

“Yes please,” Moxie said. “A week to start, I think. How much per night?”

“Seven silver for a large room, four for a small one.”

“Does that come with food?” Lee asked, eyeing the dining room. “I see people eating.”

“Breakfast for everyone staying in the room. Lunch and dinner are on you lot, though.”

“A large room will work,” Moxie said, setting a single gold on the table. Bethany plucked it and the coin vanished into a pocket in her apron.

Bethany pulled a key out and handed it to Moxie. “Room 415. Fourth floor.”

“Thanks,” Noah said. He and Lee hurried to keep up with Moxie as she strode up the stairwell.

Their room turned out to be a little larger than Noah had expected. It had two big beds on either side of a huge window overlooking the city. Faded purple curtains hung open on either side of the window, and a desk had been situated just beneath it to catch the light as best as possible. A small basket of fruit had been set out on the top of the desk.

“Huh,” Noah said with an approving nod. “I’m not sure what I was expecting, but this is actually pretty nice.”

Lee made a beeline for the desk and grabbed a purple fruit. It resembled a banana, but was far larger and its skin had a woody texture. Lee raised it to her mouth and bit straight through it with a loud crunch.

“If that had been me, my teeth would have all shattered,” Moxie said, watching Lee with a mixture of jealousy and awe.

“It’s tashty,” Lee said through a mouth full of crunching wood and fruit pulp. She held it out to Moxie. “Want some?”

“You’re meant to peel those,” Moxie said. “It’ll probably break my jaw if I bite into that.”

Lee’s grip tightened around the banana, shattering its hard shell with a loud crack – and mushing its insides in the process. She held her hand out to Moxie. Moxie opened her mouth, raising a finger. Then she closed it and instead reached out, taking some of the mush. “Thank you.”

“Welcome,” Lee replied with a cheerful smile. She stuffed the rest of the fruit into her mouth, crunching twice more before swallowing and turning her gaze to the rest of the fruit basket.

“So, what now?” Noah asked. “Do we have something we need to do? Setup for–”

“We relax, Noah,” Moxie said, putting a hand on his shoulder to stop him. “Don’t you already have enough on your plate? Stop looking for more. There’s a lot of time to get around to doing work and explore later.”

Noah winced. Moxie, as usual, had a point. There was time, and as tempting as looking around the city was, it would almost certainly result in more things on his endless to-do list.

“You’re right,” Noah said, sitting down on one of the beds. It wasn’t the softest bed he’d been on, but it was still nothing to complain about. He pulled his list out of a pocket and unfolded it, reading over everything he’d written down.

“Going to try to actually cross a few tasks off before starting a new one?” Moxie sent him an amused grin.

“Well, I can’t do much about a good number of these yet,” Noah grumbled. He pulled the primer on Formations that Revin had given him out. “But for the ones I can do - yeah, I am. Starting with this thing. I’ve been meaning to take a look at it.”

“Good luck,” Moxie said. “Formations are brutal.”

Noah flipped the small book open, skipping the first few pages to jump right into the meat of the content.

And then he froze.

“You okay?” Moxie asked, the worry in her voice evident. “Did Revin do something to the book?”

Noah didn’t respond. He barely even registered her words. Sitting before him, in the book of what Revin called formations, was something he hadn’t seen in thousands of years.

It was a musical score.

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