Reject Humanity, Return to Monke

"Wait, magic is real on Earth?" Drake got up from bed the moment he heard the terms "Magic exists" and "Earth" in one sentence. "Holy shit… What kind?"

"That, I have no idea about yet." I cupped my chin as my ass sat comfortably on the couch near Drake's bed. As for why there's a couch in Drake's bedroom, why the hell not? "But from what Catalina said about her… espionage sessions… There was something about slinking into the shadows, and possible teleportation, as well as divination."

"…Damn, the common folks have been missing out. But that's probably for the best." Drake sighed. "Think about it. With the world as it is, you think the appearance of magic would benefit human society as a whole, but noooo… Bunch of assholes and idiots up top might as well push for a new world war, because reasons."

My fingers tapping rhythmically on the armrest, I leaned on the backrest as I savored the comfort of the couch.

"Yeah, anyway, that's not what I'm here to tell you about." I leaned forward, elbows on my knees and hands interlocked with each other in front of my face. "I'm here because I want a bodyguard."

"… You want to go out? Where?" Drake quickly caught on to what I meant as he narrowed his eyes."

"To meet with the president or someone who can give my suggestion the go-ahead. I have a proposal for them, and if their firepower is much higher than I anticipated, then you'll be my shield."

"… Of fucking course." Drake sighed as he palmed his face. "So, when do we go?"

"Now." Standing up from the admittedly comfortable couch, I eyed Drake as he groaned and got out of the bed.

"Alright, you slave driver." Drake put on his fuzzy slippers as he yawned. "Let me go take a bath first and get ready. If you want to go meet them, why not dress up for the occasion?"

I blinked at his suggestion. Actually, why hadn't I considered doing that?

"Damn, Jionni. Even if your body has changed, you are still the same as that antisocial guy from back then." Drake snorted as he covered his mouth with his hand, laughter threatening to burst out. "You had no sense of formality, unless you were forced in school."

"… Right…" I facepalmed, before leaving the man to himself. While he did so, I quickly headed back to the Dungeon Core Room so that I could take a bath, and get dressed.

Would a gorilla wearing a tuxedo look weird? I dunno, I might as well do so. At least I'll look classy.

[]

[]

[]

"… Drake… I… What… How… Okay, I admit, you caught me off guard with that suit." Drake's mouth quivered as he stared up at me.

Why? Do I look off? When I looked at the mirror, I didn't see anything wrong.

"What's wrong?" I asked the flummoxed man, his eyebrows twitching slightly.

"What's wrong? What's wrong!? Your entire suit is what's wrong! It feels like I'm staring at an abomination!" Drake cried out as he grabbed the tuxedo with his hands. "Your coat isn't buttoned up properly! Your collar is messy! What's worse, the entire thing looks like it's a size too small for you!"

I winced at the volume of his voice. Thankfully, we were inside his house, so nobody could peer inside since all of the people here knew not to mess with the man living inside this house.

"Ugh… Just… Just let me fix this, alright?" Drake sighed before he continued to do what he had just said. As he did so, I stood still and silent as he fixed up everything that was wrong with my current attire.

After a few minutes of standing still, Drake went silent, his grumblings finally quieting down as he clicked his tongue.

"Alright, no matter what I do, you won't look any better. At least you're presentable now." Taking a look at the mirror, I hummed as I took in my figure… I didn't look any different, however, aside from the neatness f my clothes.

Looking back at Drake with a questioning gaze, all he did was sigh and facepalm.

"I know that look. Just… Just trust me on this, okay? Your fashion sense is out of whack." Drake took in a deep breath as he looked straight at me. "Alright, let's go?"

"Sure. We need to hurry though. Time is not on our side for this plan." Drake nodded before we both ran out of the house and sprinted towards the entrance of my Dungeon.

Various monsters, humans, and demi-humans waved to us, but otherwise stepped aside from our path. Thanking them in my mind, it took a few minutes to reach the Dungeon exit with our sprint.

Thanks to my stats, I didn't sweat or feel winded. The same could be said for Drake, who was looking at the exit with a neutral face.

"So, how are we going to get past the guards out there?"

"Just announce ourselves. They won't take the shot when we come up front that we want to talk with their leader again." I shrugged and hoped that my first option would work. "Plus, I doubt they will, seeing that we are impervious to their bullets."

"No, you are impervious to their bullets. I can still stop and dodge them though." I cocked my head at his statement.

'For all his strength, even a bullet can damage him. Well, I guess that's the downside of not owning a System that literally makes your body as hard as goddamn steel.'

"Anyway, we should get a move on." Both of us stared at each other for a few moments before we moved towards the exit simultaneously.

[]

[]

[]

"Good day to you, gentlemen." Even as gun barrels pointed themselves at me and my companion, Drake, I stayed neutral. "I assure you, we aren't here to cause any trouble. We're here to make a deal with your leader, and the current predicament you are going to face… Was it tomorrow? Yes, tomorrow."

The two people guarding the entrance to my Dungeon tensed as their aims shook slightly.

"It's about the super typhoon coming to this city. I wish to help the people here." The two of them tense up even more. Letting out a mental sigh, I continued with my words. "Please just call your superiors. If you shoot, well, you wouldn't want to know what happens next."

As much as threats don't work against soldiers with guns here, the only reason it worked was because I am an iron wall, capable of deflecting bullets with my bare skin. They knew how futile it was to shoot me, and so, without any options left, one of them took a radio and messaged one of their own about movement.

Even with how quiet they were, I was able to hear them clearly with my enhanced hearing. No doubt, Drake heard them as well.

"Uh… Jionni, sir?" I nodded, a bit glad that they remembered my name. "Our captain would like to speak with you."

They lowered their guns, but were prepared for any hostile intent from both me and Drake, which would not happen unless they gave us a reason to.

One of them opened the door and, standing outside, was our escort. She was a young one, probably fresh out of boot camp.

And totally expendable in case something goes wrong.

"Sir Jionni, please follow me." The girl stood ramrod like a statue, her limbs trembling slightly, but her voice was clear and fierce. Even if her body showed what she was currently feeling, she was ready to lay down her life for her country.

Impressed by the girl, I nodded and followed her through the hallways. Drake was trailing behind me a meter away.

The trek was silent, with the occasional soldier patrolling the hallway giving us a mean glare. All in all, things were going well.

A few minutes of walking later, and we were approaching the exit of the school. As we got out, the sun shone brightly against my face, causing me to raise my hand to shield my eyes.

'This one hot day… Well, the typhoon will be strong then, no doubt about it.' I mused as a man in green fatigues and various badges decorating his chest greeted me with a stern gaze.

"Greetings, Sir Jionni. Lieutenant Colonel Jared Barker, commanding officer of this here garrison." The man put his hand forward, and I moved to accept it. Shaking each other's hands, we both retracted them and he stared at me with suspicion in his eyes. "May I ask the reason for your visit this fine day?"

"Yes, fine day. Tomorrow, not so." I shook my head slightly. Jared was already catching on to my purpose here. If he was stationed here, he must've been informed about my Dungeon, as well as the specifics.

Most importantly, the part where I get currency for the number of people staying in my Dungeon.

"To be frank, I'm here to help you with evacuations for the people staying in this city. I will gladly take them all, free of charge, until they can move back to their homes after the typhoon." The lieutenant colonel narrowed his eyes even more at my offer. "Of course, I will treat them all with respect. You have my word on that as a leader, and as a former human who lived here in the past."

For a while, Jared stayed silent, the rest of the soldiers around us tense for an order. Until the silence was broken...

"Let me call my superiors to see if they will accept your offer."

Visit and read more novel to help us update chapter quickly. Thank you so much!