On one side where Nian celebrated the joy of finally officiating his relationship with Xing Bi, the silence and awkwardness on Jin's side between him and Shui hit an all-time record high.
Jin drove while glancing at Shui's side from time to time but not knowing what to speak. The awkwardness in the air was suffocating enough to drive him crazy. Since he was alone with her, there were many things in his mind he wished to talk to her about.
He peeked at Shui once again who was idly playing around with her phone, looking calm and composed. But only she knew in her heart how this atmosphere was equally killing her.
Jin clutched the steering wheel, remembering his father's words.
'I thought you stopped running away from the things that matter.'
For how long will I remain a coward…
He parted his lips but found it difficult to find his voice. He could feel his heart pounding loudly back and forth in his chest.
Was apologizing always this tough?
Jin took a deep breath and focussing his attention on the road, he quietly said, "I know an apology is not enough, but I sincerely ask you to forgive me."
Shui, who wasn't expecting him to speak, slightly jerked her head sideways and looked at him. It was a little dark inside, but she could faintly see his tense expression and the creases on his forehead.
"Apology for what?" She blinked.
"...For my behavior in Shanghai."
Shui stared at him, her body unconsciously freezing up with the mention of Shanghai. His cold gaze and even harsher words when they met at the fest and near the lake sprung up fresh in her mind.
'What will it take for you to get the hell out of my life?'
'Will it be enough for you if we slept together?'
Shui felt at a loss for words. She was yet to heal from his deep knife-life piercing wound to her heart that his words gave her that night.
"I am ashamed of the mistakes I have made and the disrespect I showed you. I won't give any excuses for that. You are free to hate me for the rest of your life."
Back at Sky some time before the chaos ensued, Jin felt stupid as to doubt why Shui was so quick to diffuse his concern of Jinhai or Zhou Yichen misunderstanding their relationship since they had seen them in a not so innocent position at Liu Corps' balcony. It was when Jin had a flash of the past when he accidentally touched Shui's forehead.
It pricked and saddened him to feel that Shui seemingly easily glazed over the incident which he couldn't take off from his mind. But when he remembered his own cruel behavior in Shanghai, it made sense to him why Shui would act like that.
He wryly smiled, feeling disdainful and disgusted towards himself.
Nobody would want to hear that shit again. Not from the person you like…
"I acted like a complete piece of garbage there, and I admit I went way beyond my boundary. Please don't blame my parents or my family. They didn't raise me to become someone to speak such insolent words to a respectable and dignified woman. It was my choice at that moment, and I bear the complete responsibility."
Shui felt breathless, silently clasping her shaking palms together.
"I am well-aware that even an apology isn't enough. That's like taking a selfish shortcut. You didn't deserve to go through such humiliation," his voice trembled. "Feel free to punish me however you want. If you want, I can drive us to one of Dad's underworld bases."
"U-underworld base? Why?"
Jin replied without batting his eyelid, "To skin me alive if you want."
"..."
"Or choose whatever other punishment you have in your mind. We have all sorts of tools lying in there."
Shui stared at him aghast. "How can you carelessly suggest such a horrific punishment for yourself?"
He took his eyes off the road for a moment and blankly stared at her as if he didn't get her point at all. "I didn't think twice before carelessly hurling insults at you so why should I be cautious towards my own punishment?"
Shui in turn blankly stared at him herself, unable to give a reply.
"Besides, Dad would have given me the same punishment if I confessed my crimes to him. Actually, even worse. Torture is his forte. He doesn't hold back on that and wouldn't towards his own son either," he shrugged.
He then furrowed his brows as if weighing and comparing the depth of affliction in his mind. "Or maybe an eternal silence from Mom and her refusal to acknowledge her son anymore would be fitting. I admit that would be more effective than being skinned alive. It hurts the most when women in our house are angry and disappointed."
Shui had this urge to twitch her mouth.
Wait…is he seriously suggesting options to give him the worst punishment?
Jin looked at her and asked, "Why are you making that weird face?"
"Why are you talking about weird things?"
"How is talking about my punishment weird? It will be more strange if we don't after what I did," he frowned and then commented. "You are weird."
Her jaw dropped, feeling incredulous.
"Are YOU in any position to call me weird!?"
"It's normal to get punished for the mistakes we make."
"It's not normal to be skinned alive!"
"It's normal in the underworld," he replied in a matter-of-fact tone as if it was an everyday occurrence.
"It's not normal to suggest OPTIONS of crueler punishments yourself either!"
"Dad would have done the same if he had made a blunder towards Mom. That's how my brothers and I are raised. That's normal too."
Shui felt like she was banging her head on the wall.
She angrily laughed, not knowing what to say, "I feel like I will die of blood loss, but the wall won't budge an inch."
Jin looked blank. "Which wall?"
"..."
At this point, she felt completely drained of her energy. "Oh my God, have you been fooling people with your fake intelligence all this time!?"
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