I approached Kastramoth. My feet felt heavy, as if I was walking through a swamp. Kastramoth didn’t look at me. Rather, his posture was solely focused on her.
“You’ll go to Jorra next, won’t you? Given the circumstances.”
Kastramoth huffed. “Do not speak as if I have we have a choice. The blood oath is absolute.”
I sneered. “Right. As if you would care. Though she showed you mercy. Spared your legion the decimation.”
His eyes grew dark, and he leaned down with his head to the side to peer at me closely. “It would be wise not to provoke us, human.” I stared him down, and after a moment, he looked away, and the tension that had bubbled between us fizzled out. He opened his mouth, then hesitated. “Despite not letting us sate our baser desires, she was a better master than most. We do not think her brother will hold a candle.”
I nearly looked back, Maya’s body hovering in the corner of my vision before I tore away from it, looking out into the crimson canopy of the trees.
“I need a favor.” I said, finally. The air shifted as Kastramoth moved.
“As if we would—“
“You owe me.” My frustration and grief boiled over. “I wanted to banish you, seal you away with the demon-fire. And yes, Maya might have intervened, but ultimately the choice was mine.”
“What do you want? An award? Our gratitude?” Kastramoth chuffed out a breath.“When I die. Tell them to take my body back to the heart.”
“What?” Kastramoth jerked, not understanding. But I turned away from him and made the return trip back to Maya’s body. As far as preparing for the possibility this might not work, that would have to do. The last thing I wanted was for them to continue on half-assedly in our honor. If I did not come back, their part in this was done.
My amulet burned—Vogrin had heard what I said. He wanted an explanation, no doubt. There was a reason I’d relayed the instruction to Kastramoth rather than Vogrin. Partly, I simply understood the hulking demon better. Kastramoth had his own demonic proclivities and tendencies, as well as a terrible temper, but at the end of the day he was more concerned with his own survival than any greater agenda.
I couldn’t say the same for Vogrin. His greater loyalty would always be to Ozra. Not to mention, I had no idea what would happen to him after I died. The amulet burned brighter until it sizzled against my skin. Grunting, I yanked it free and the thin chain around my neck broke. The amulet slid from my fingers and bounced off the ground where it continued to shift and vibrate.
There was no reason to keep putting it off. I poured maya into the inscription on my chest, sending it through the maze of lines and pathways until it activated. Almost simultaneously, my vision went black.
////////
The void welcomed me. But something was wrong. There was no feeling of being dragged backwards or any movement. I hung there, suspended in nothingness, unable to see or feel, as a deep-rooted fear began to fester. Fear that I had been right. That I had over tapped my gift in the enclave, wounded it, and it was not something that regenerated over time.
I tried to preoccupy myself with numbers—simple math to keep my mind occupied, only giving up when I reached the thousands.
My despair reached a fevered pitch. Was this all there was for me, after? I would take an eternity in hades over this, this horrible, gaping, endless nothing in which nothing was born, and nothing died. Time-stretched on. I willed something to happen, anything. But there was nothing there but the darkness. The fear and anxiety came in crippling waves, rationality only staunching the outflow of emotion intermittently.
Of all the beliefs I’d encountered, reincarnation was the through-thread. Everyone started over eventually. But what if things were different, for me, because of the gift I’d been given? What if all my lives were destined to be lived out over the same timeline, and when my time was up, I simply retired to the void, and floated alone forever.
As much as I tried to push the fear down, my mind came back to it, over and over, every thought circular, leading back to that single terrifying thought.
If I had a mouth, I would have cried out in relief when I finally felt movement. Not my own, but external. The great black beast approached slowly. As before, I didn’t see it so much as I sensed it; a massive, hulking outline that approached, dwarfing me with its size.
”You were warned of the dangers of your vanity.” It rumbled. I shrunk back. The beast had been displeased with me before, but never like this. Anger poured from it in waves.
“I don’t understand.” I cowered before it, my very essence shuddering with each spoken word.
”You have one purpose. Sunder the lynchpin. End the cycle.”
“I will,” I said, not quite finding my nerve, still confused by the sheer enmity that was directed at me. “I will kill Thoth. My resolve has never wavered.” At my answer, the void itself began to shake. It felt like my entire essence was being crushed, compressed.
It is unwise to speak falsehoods in my domain.
“Stop,” I gasped out. “Please.” The pressure lessened, and in its place, I felt rage. Rage at this monster in the dark. This invisible force that sought to control me, and punish me when I went astray. “I have begun to build an army and gather allies. I have traded my very soul. I have endured torture and torment, and I have done it all in the service of stopping her.”
And this? I could hear the mockery in the voice, and an image of Maya was conjured within my mind.
“As I said. I need allies.” I reiterated the point. The surrounding pressure increased.
Weak. You are a child playing with forces you cannot possibly understand. All your talk of working towards greater goals, and you risk it all for a single life. The power you hold is not meant for such petty avenues. Perhaps, I should withdraw her blessing now and leave you anguishing in the dark.
A lance of fear went through me. My mind worked furiously. This was the most the beast had ever spoken to me, and if there was even the slightest chance it could follow through on what it was threatening to do, I needed to come up with a damn good reason I’d taken the risk of dying to bring Maya back. But, from the way it spoke, it seemed almost omniscient. So, I needed a lie that wasn’t a lie.
I spoke carefully. “Maya is crucial.”
”Because she is your ‘light?’” the beast mocked. Further confirmation that nothing was hidden from his sight.
If I had fists, I would have balled them at my side. “No. Because of my mother. The queen is the key to reining in my father. In my first life he grew crueler, angrier in her absence. If Maya dies, my mother dies from her illness, just like before, and my father becomes impossible to maneuver.”
”Shortsighted. There are other healers.”
“Yes. But few that would go before peace is formalized.” I shook my head, mind still racing. “Which would be too late. And even if they did, it would cast everything I have done and will do for the infernals in the wrong light. Manipulative. Transactional, instead of symbolic. They will no longer be in our debt, and be far less likely to aid us later on.”
The beast didn’t respond right away.
“Perhaps there is merit in that.”
For the first time I felt a flare of hope. I dared to ask a question. “Are you saying that because it makes sense, or because you’ve seen something similar happen before? During the cycle?”
”I am forbidden to speak of other iterations of the cycle. And your justifications do not stand in the context—
Then, there was something new. Another presence. A light like a dying star descended from above, so weak it threatened to extinguish at any moment. The beast seemed to shift, to face the light. Though there were no words, there was an abstract feeling that they were communicating, conveying ideas at a velocity too quick for simple speech. And as quickly as it had appeared, the light was gone. The beast’s focus returned to me. I could feel its irritation.
”She has spoken.”
“Who?”
He ignored me. ”There will be others who fall. You cannot save them all. That is not your purpose. Sunder the lynchpin. End the cycle. Abuse the power again, and face the consequences. For now, let this be a lesson.”
Before I could ask what he meant, the darkness pulled me back, sending me hurtling into nothingness
Again.
//////
There was a wave of nausea as I snapped back into myself. My vision blurred, obfuscating constant movement in my surroundings. I was breathing hard. My left arm felt heavy, constricted. It came slowly into focus as blood and viscera ran down the razor sharp tips of my blackened fingers.
Sound came next, roaring into my ears. The pitchy screech of magic flying overhead. The scent of burning trees. A choked groan, the captain on the ground below me, clutching his ruined arm trying to stop the bleeding.
Let this be a lesson.
Horror set in. I’d indeed gone back. But not nearly far enough. Again Jorra froze, staring at what I’d done to the captain.
“Behind!” I shouted, and began to run. Jorra turned back to the abomination, but I’d only bought him a second, if that. It wiggled out from beneath another body and leapt atop him. This time Jorra managed to hold on to his whip, pushing it up against the abomination’s neck. It’s ruined mouth snapped down at him.
When Maya ran forward this time I was ready. There was no time to think. I sent a quick burst of air at the back of her legs, sending her tumbling to the ground.
Was this the lesson? Was the beast mocking me, putting me in an impossible situation and making me choose between two allies?
No. I would never accept that. I called the wind, sending considerable swathes of powder crisscrossing in front of me, immediately detonating in a series of explosions that stunned both Jorra and the abomination, praying that Jorra wouldn’t lose his grip in the distraction.
The abomination recovered first, and charged towards me. I brought my sword down, the blade squelching as it sank into it’s back. I was prepared for it’s muted reaction having seen the way it reacted to Maya, and jumped back. But the creature was smart. However it had been made, it maintained some of the same intelligence of its host. It feinted towards me first, and once I was unbalanced, leapt at me again. I managed to twist out of the way, but a fang took me in the arm.
With a practiced motion, I swung my sword edge up against its throat and began to saw. Even as it died, I felt the temperature leaving my body. My gut tightened. The venom was a death sentence, I knew that all too well.
I’d killed it, but without the display of power and brutality I had before. I watched, numb and helpless, as the remaining mercenaries tried to finish the fight quickly.
Jorra was saying something to me, trying to pull me up, as I saw a small form trapped in a sphere of water, slowing drowning. Bell.
Why dammit? She’d been fine before. What had changed? Had the series of events in the center distracted her?
I tried to point to her, but my movements as sluggish as my mind. It did answer the question of where Bell had gone in the chaos. She’d been pushed back into the tree line and was fighting along the left side until now. Bell struggled within the sphere, swinging her sword, trying to hit the edges of the spell with void.
The last I saw of Maya, she was struggling against an earth magician, trying to fight her way to me when a spike of dirt shot upward, piercing through her middle. She looked down at it, surprised.
I swore. No. Not again. I wouldn’t let it be for nothing. Weakly, I pushed the mana through the inscription at my chest, hoping that I wasn’t interpreting the cryptic message wrong and the beast wanted me to struggle, rather than fail.
Blackness.
Again.
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