My vision faded in and out. One moment I was beside Cephur, Maya under my arm, supporting me as I staggered towards a horse. I blacked out. When I came to, Orben was carrying me on his back through the city walls. Through the blurry haze, Tamara saw me open my eyes and waved a small wave, her face rife with concern. I tried for a smile, but my vision faded once more.
Thoth’s parting words needled at me, lurking in the dark parts of my psyche, taunting.
I’ll let you go. But there’s a price. I’ll take something from you, and you won’t even know what it is until it’s gone.
It wouldn’t be an object. Sad as it was to say, there really wasn’t all that much in my life I cared for. That left people. My father was unlikely. Our antagonistic relationship was a matter of public record. Lillian was just as unlikely, albeit for a different reason. She just wasn’t that well known. Our courtship was very private, and until the night of the coronation most had never heard her name. Maybe Sera, if Thoth didn’t know me as well as she thought she did. But my Mother and Annette came to mind immediately as the most likely targets. The thought of losing either of them, after everything I’d done to survive up to this point, was staggering. But there was a third possibility. Thoth seemed to have future knowledge. She constantly referred to it. It was entirely possible that she would take steps to eliminate something that could help me in the future. But worrying about something as nebulous as that would drive me mad. I needed to send another letter to the capital, get my father to increase the guard detail around my sister and mother.
If only I could stay conscious long enough to do so.
A single lumen lamp floated above me, bright and uncomfortable. I was supine on a physician’s table, unclothed from the waist up. The man poked and prodded at me with frigid hands. My consciousness ebbed and flowed.
"—massive internal bleeding. You’re saying magic did this?"
"—severe soul damage," Maya’s voice. "—cobalt phosphorus, anything to staunch it temporarily while we travel—"
Despite the pain, I smiled a bit. Excellent diagnosis. Maya had really taken the apothecary lessons to heart.
"That ain’t happening." Cephur cut in. "I was fine with this little quest of ours until the Crown Prince of Uskar started bleeding out of his eyes—""At this point, we’re closer to the magus enclave than we are to any other institution," Tamara said, "It’s three days from here if we push it. The closest human institution would be the Magician’s College, and that’s fourteen days of crippling horses from hard riding, the sort of trip that would be tough for a child even if he wasn’t injured—"
"—That won’t matter if they just kill ‘em." Cephur said vehemently. "Sorry little purple, but your folk and mine haven’t exactly been on friendly terms over the last century—"
"—I won’t let them!" Maya shouted. The arguing quieted at that, all voices ceasing.
"You’re young, Maya," Tamara said in a soothing voice. "It wouldn’t be your call."
"I will stake my life on it." Maya snapped. There was a foreign sensation. I looked down to see her tail had wrapped around my ankle protectively. "My family is politically neutral between the factions. If I bring him in under the Rite of Shaliat, then that would ensure his life, at least long enough for him to recover."
Orben had turned away from the others and studied me thoughtfully, seemingly the first one to notice I was awake again. "What do you think?" He asked me. I thought of what I’d done to the man in the alley.
"We’ve come too far to go back now." My voice was unsteady. My chest hurt from the vibrations of simple speech. I pushed myself up with one arm, ignoring the flaring pain. "Cephur, the infernals are the closest thing to an authority on the soul that Uskar has. Beyond that, it’s hard to explain, but please trust me for now. There are things I must do there. It’s too important to play it safe."
"Is it more important than your life?" Cephur challenged.
"Yes," I said immediately. What good was my life if I lost everyone around me?
Cephur stared for a moment, then shook his head and chuckled. "What kind of kid are you supposed to be, anyway?"
The physician gave me strained poppy for the pain, as well as cobalt phosphorus for the bleeding. I could walk, but it was as if my legs had forgotten the motions. The slightest distraction or change in elevation and I would lose my balance, threatening to topple over.
Lucius outfitted a carriage for us personally, waking a wheelwright to make modifications to the interior to make the ride smoother. He grabbed me by the arm to help me into the carriage.
"I’m going to need you to get better. There’s no honor exacting revenge on a sick man," Lucius said.
I started to laugh, then immediately groaned. "Here I thought you were going to offer a different sort of payback. Come on, I did you a favor. She really took a shine to you."
A pause.
"You think?"
I looked at him dumbly. "Lucius. Don’t fall in love with her just because she was the first woman to pay attention to you."
He blushed scarlet. "I’m not in love!"
"Sure, sure."
"I’m not!"
"Okay, alright, I believe you." I lied.
Lucius cleared his throat. "Seriously, though. Get better. Come back through here whenever you return from the enclave. I swear your second visit will be less stressful than the first."
I clasped his arm. "Will do. Relying on you anyway. See what you can find out from your father about the metamorphosis cult. I intended to stick around for a bit, but all this happened." Then I hesitated. "Be careful. Don’t put yourself at risk."
"Trust me, I have no intention of being captured twice," Lucius said darkly. "Take care of yourself, Cairn."
Had I known how miserable the ride south would be, I doubt I would have sounded so confident. The floor of the carriage was flush with thick blankets and pillows, yet I still felt every bump and jostle like a lance through my back. Beads of sweat pooled on my forehead and dripped downward from my neck to my spine. My blood felt like it was on fire. It was completely irrational, but I couldn’t help but imagine the demon-flame, slowly cooking me from the inside out.
The shadow panther lounged on the opposite side of the carriage like an oversized house cat. It had chased us into the open road until Cephur finally slowed down, then when he’d opened the door to ask me about it, it had jumped in as if invited.
Tamara reached down and dabbed my head with a damp handkerchief. My companions had been taking turns in the wagon, monitoring my condition. She pressed the back of her cool hand to my forehead. She frowned. "You’re sweating. That should mean the fever is broken, but you don’t feel any cooler. If anything, you’re heating up."
I hacked, heavy and full. Tamara leaned me on my side so I could spit bloody phlegm into a nearby bowl.
"How do you feel?" She asked.
"Fuckin’ awful," I shuddered, settling back.
"Well, you look pretty awful."
"Thanks." I settled back down on my back, only for a bump the size of a small child to jolt me. I moaned.
Tamara winced. "Sorry."
"Just, distract me," I said through grit teeth, "Talk to me about something, anything."
"Well…" Tamara said slowly, amusement creeping into her voice, “if you want to talk about Maya—"
"I’m reporting you for child abuse."
"Fine. But you’re kind of putting me on the spot here."
"Anything." A thought occurred to me. "Tell me about the elves."
Tamara fell silent at that.
"In pain and intoxicated. Sorry if that was rude."
"It’s not rude, it’s just… strange." Tamara said. "People usually just ignore that side of me. Or they focus on it completely."
Ignoring it I could see, but focusing on it seemed strange. "How so?"
"There’s the racists, of course. And then there’s… never mind. I’m not explaining fetishists to a twelve-year-old."
"Ah." I cringed. "Yikes."
"See, you act all innocent, then something that should be very over your head comes up and you react like that." She leveled a condescending look at me. "I’m not buying it."
"Nine through eleven were my wild years. I’ve calmed down since then."
Tamara rolled her eyes. "Elphion save me, when is my shift up?" She slapped her knee. "Alright. So. The elves. What do you know already?"
I thought back. "I know it’s a tribal system. Light elves don’t really mingle with dark elves. They’re isolationist, even amongst themselves. Their take on magic is much more eclectic and spiritualistic. They claim it isn’t even the same system, though many of the powers seem similar.
"The magic is different." Tamara must have seen the question before I could speak it. "No, I don’t have the talent. But I’ve seen it. Before my parents brought me to Whitefall. A village shaman’s son disappeared in a mountain cave. They looked for him for days. No one could find him."
"A locator spell then?" I asked, not really getting it. Applied magic beyond the basic elements was rare, but not entirely unknown. The enclave was famous for it.
"No," Tamara smiled, shaking her head in amazement. "She took the mountain down."
I blinked. Surely, I hadn’t heard correctly. "She did what?"
"She stood at the base for hours. Tree, dirt, and stone were sundered as if torn by massive invisible hands. She tore it apart, layer by layer. Slowly, a mountain tall enough to blot out the sun until early morning was brought to the ground. Eventually, she found him stuck in a deep passage. They would have never found him otherwise."
That sounded like someone I wanted on my side. "What happened to her?"
"She died the next day."
"Damn."
"The average age of an elf used to be just under a thousand years old. Now there’s only a few of them over a hundred. And most shamans with that level of power were well over a thousand. Most of them…" Tamara looked away. "Well, you know."
I did. My father was as thorough as he was cruel, and the elves had put up more of a fight than any other race. He had responded the only way he ever did. With brutal efficiency.
"Do you still have any contact with them? Your tribe?"
"No. They’re not a fan of half-breeds, less so half-breeds who live in the city, and utterly antagonistic to those who mingle with, ‘the enemy’" Tamara emphasized the last two words with air quotes.
Quietly, I thought on that, a newfound respect forming for her. It can’t have been easy. It made sense that she’d ended up with Cephur. They were both fish out of water, in a way. The image of Tamara kneeling over Cephur’s body crawled up from my subconsciousness.
"Tamara..."
"Yes, Cairn?"
I thought through my wording carefully. "I’m going to ask you something, but before I do, I want to give you permission to tell me to fuck off."
"Fuck off, my lord." Tamara smirked.
Now it was my turn to roll my eyes. "I mean you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to."
"Ah."
"Is there an elven last rite?"
That wiped the smile off her face. "What do you mean?"
"It was…" I thought up a lie, "It was something I saw at Inharion. My father brought me there to watch the raid, before the caravan was attacked. It was awful."
"I heard something about that, yes." Tamara said grimly.
"There was an elven woman tending a dead man. She reached to her chest and withdrew a glowing sphere." I paused as Tamara took in a quick breath. "Then she placed it over his heart. It didn’t look like any magic I’d ever heard of."
"The woman was a fool," Tamara said harshly, startling me.
"What was it?"
"For the record, you owe me for making me talk about something so awful. Alright. Fine. According to our religious texts, the elven soul is infinite. Unlike humans, our goal isn’t to make it to Valhalla, or Elysium. Living well is the goal. Until then, we are destined to be reborn with no memory of it, over and over. Only when we achieve enlightenment can we fade away to nothing. The closest word in your language would be a ‘cadence.’ Though that doesn’t really capture the whole."
Some parts of what Tamara was describing were too close to home to be a coincidence. But I still didn’t understand. "So, what was the significance of what she did?"
"She tethered her soul to his. My mother called it the ultimate expression of love. I would call it foolishness."
"Why?"
Tamara looked at me sadly. "Because there’s no guarantee it works. You give up reincarnation to be with someone forever. But if the one you love doesn’t make it to Elysium, or Hades, or whatever the dwarven equivalent is—gods spare that poor couple—they are reborn, while your soul is lost, stranded in nothingness forever."
A sudden anger washed over me at the utter cruelty of what Tusk had done.
There was no question in my mind that Tamara and Cephur were good people. They had died for me, even if they couldn’t remember it. And they also had a hard road ahead of them. There was the fact that Cephur was an officer while Tamara was not, but that was dwarfed by the racial divide. It would cause them both no end of grief. I thought long and hard. They were the sort I would need the night of my coronation, when everything came to an end. An idea started to form. A solution to my absence in Whitefall, and a way to reward them.
"How close are we to the enclave?"
Tamara blinked. "Cephur said we should be there by the end of the day."
"Get me a pen and some paper. A bunch of it."
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