RE: Monarch

Her opponent, a violet infernal with moderately powerful fire magic had been goading her for weeks before the bout. Her father’s position should have reasonably insulated her from the psychological assault—the Honor Guard of a High Councillor was generally not a person to be trifled with. But it was common knowledge her father didn’t care for Bell much.

Bell knew this most of all. She had been born with a great debt. Her mother endured a long labor to bring her into this world, an effort that proved too much for her in the end. And when she lay there, awash in blood and viscera that blended with the color of her skin, her debt grew. She was a red, born to two violet parents. It was an uncommon shame, but not unheard of.

It was hard at first, before she could understand. Her father told her early on that she killed her mother, but Bell didn’t know what that meant. The words held little weight. Erdos was practically a stranger, leaving home for days at a time, seldom returning. Her first source of love and affection came from her nanny, Shawure. The woman was eventually fired after a string of valuables went missing and never replaced. Shawure came to the estate garden for weeks after the dismissal to bring Bell treats and see how she was doing. But the visits slowed after a few months, eventually stopping completely.

There were still people in the house sometimes after that, mainly tutors, and cooks. Bell learned that if she pleased them, studied hard or praised their cooking, they would show her affection in return. But the attention was never given as freely as her nanny once had. And there were long spans of time when Bell was alone.

She began to climb trees around the estate, searching for birds. They were rare in the enclave, but the sounds they made were so pleasant, so lovely and free. Other children had pets, after all. If she could just find one, she could perhaps convince it to come home with her. And the house would be not so quiet. As Bell climbed countless trees and found many birds of all colors and species, she realized quickly that they were not amenable to even the most banal persuasion.

Bell captured her first bird, trapping it with a simple fishing net. Her prize A vibrant blue pratin with a song that sounded like ever-descending notes, a half-step apart. Bell named the bird Sunrise, after the mythical orb beyond the enclave that gave those on the surface light. Bell fed Sunrise bits of bread and fruit, and in return, its song cheered her through the colder season.

When the cold faded as bhaedent arrived, however, the bird became anxious. Irritable. It refused to perch near her, pecking at her hands when she attempted to feed it. Eventually, it escaped into from her room into the estate itself.

Bellarex was inconsolable. This had never happened before. She tried recapturing it with the net, but the halls and ceilings of the estate were simply too high, and unlike the trees outside, there was nothing for her to climb on. Ignored her tutors. Stopped eating. All she could focus on was her bird and the possibility it might escape through an open door.

Eventually, Erdos returned, irritated with the many reports given by servants and tutors. She begged him to save the bird, but he ignored her, using a simple blast of fire to knock the bird out of the air.

Bell covered the bird with her body, neck craned up to face father, an entirely new emotion crashing through her. “Why, Daddy?”

“It was being a pest.” Erdos shrugged. The words seemed so cold, so callous. “You should have been focusing on your studies instead of bringing vermin into the house.”

“He was my bird. My pet.”

Her father brushed a hand through his hair, looking more inconvenienced than anything else. “Well, sometimes, Bellarex, life takes away things you care about. If you took care of it better, kept it in your room or wherever you hid it away, we wouldn’t be in this situation.”

“You killed him.” Bellarex accused.

“No,” Erdos shook his head. “That’s your job.”

“What?”

“Look at it, Bellarex.”

With a hollow pit in her stomach, Bellarex looked down at the bird. Its entire body was singed, it’s once vibrant plumage burned away to reveal raw red skin. It made small noises in a sad imitation of its once bright song.

“It won’t last long,” Erdos continued.

“What about a healer?” Bell asked through teary eyes.

Erdos rolled his eyes. “Even if the healers had time for such trifles, they can’t regrow feathers.”

“But—“

“If you care for it, it’s your responsibility to end its suffering. Or don’t. Not like it matters to me. Just take it outside, so I don’t have to hear that damn squawking.” With that, her father departed, his destination unknown and undisclosed.

Not long after, Bell killed Sunrise with a carving knife. The action itself was easier than she expected. It was everything leading up that was hard. Once his heartbeat stopped, she gently rolled him in a napkin, placed him in a leather bag, and buried him next to the tree he’d seemed so anxious to return to.

Emotions rolled through her, on after another. How could her father be so cold, so callous? Anger, pure and righteous, roiled within her.

Then something, in her mind, clicked.

”Daddy, what happened to mommy? Nanny Shawure says she went somewhere far away, but won’t tell me where.”

Her father was sprawled out on a sitting room couch, hand on his forehead, smelling strongly of something Bellarex could not identify. ”Your mother didn’t go anywhere, Bellarex. She’s in the family plot outback. You killed her, the day you were born.”

”I’m sorry.”

”Not like you meant to.”

But she had killed her mother. And whatever Bell felt she was owed for the bird, dwarfed in comparison to what her father had lost. And that was how, on the same day she learned of death, Bell became aware of her debt.

Bell was met with new purpose. She had to make it right. She had to be useful. And as hard as she worked, and studied, and tried desperately to be useful, that feeling of debt only grew. She discovered that her skin was wrong and that her magic was weak. So she tried harder. Pushed harder. When her father ran her through drills, over and over, she accepted the grueling pace.

All she wanted was to be useful.

And so, over the roaring crowd in the arena, Bell looked for her father, finding him in the elevated box he always sat in. She waited for it. The reward. The small crumb of approval she would use to sustain herself to the next bout. And the next. And the next.

And there it was. The nod was too small to be called subtle. But it was there.

/////

Bellarex was still reeling. Her father’s death itself had come as a shock, and worse yet, it wasn’t due to an outside force. Infernals within the Sanctum had killed him. She was almost hysterical until Ralakos sat down and explained the situation, then found herself strangely comforted by the elder. She’d never spoken to the councillor. But he told her in no uncertain terms that despite his betrayal, he still considered the man a friend. He would look after Erdos’s estate, but wanted Bell to live with him for the time being, offering to take care of everything for old times sake.

Though she had her doubts, she found herself agreeing in a daze. But she found Ralakos’s estate a cold place. The soldiers all eyed her like they expected her to break out in rebellion at any given moment. Ralakos made sure her needs were met, but he was a busy man who was seldom home. Supposedly he had a son who lived in a neighboring cloister with his wife.

Her only real solace there, strangely, was a human. Bell had never spent time with a human before or seen one in person. His yellow hair was blindingly bright, with undertones of red when the light hit correctly. More disturbing were his eyes. Bright blue jewels with little pinpricks of black in their center, instead of the typical Infernal white. There was no denying that he looked strange.

Which made it even more odd that she felt comfortable around him. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that their backgrounds were equally notorious. Her, the daughter of a traitor, and him, the son of a tyrant.

Cairn was completely absorbed in his study and always brought a book to dinner, but being an outsider, he was completely free of the usual prejudice that simmered just below the surface when others became aware of her void orientation.

Rather, he paid her special attention, which was a strange sensation for someone so used to being ignored. He always spoke to her at dinner and asked questions about how she was adjusting. Even more strangely, despite being even more of an outsider than she now was, he seemed to have no problem making friends. Bell envied him, in more ways than one.

And after a sparing match wherein Bell found her performance desperately lacking, Cairn had asked her to join them.

She showed up the first day at the outer chambers, finding the blue infernal boy she’d sparred alongside Cairn with the previous day.

After introductions were settled, Bell placed her bag on the ground where she could easily retrieve it in case things went badly. People didn’t like her. It was better to be prepared.

“Where’s Cairn?” Bell finally asked.

“Probably sleeping in.” Jorra rolled his eyes.

“Ah. He was still awake when I went to bed.”

“Might as well get warmed up.” Jorra began to stretch.

Bell blinked. She had been certain the boy was deferring to Cairn, and the moment he had her alone the looks of judgment and distrust would begin. “Shouldn’t we wait for him?”

“Nah. He’s not a fan of stretching.”

“Is it okay for me to be here?” Bell asked, finally, unable to stand waiting.

“Why wouldn’t it be okay?” Jorra asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m a void mage.”

“Yeah,” Jorra chuckled. “And a kickass one at that. I’m still exhausted after yesterday.”

Bell was perplexed. Of all the reactions to her element she’d encountered, this was not one of them.

“Look,” Jorra released his arms from an upward stretch. “I know why you’re asking.”

Bell waited, fearing the worst.

“Void isn’t the strongest element, or the most flashy. The other concern from a tactical standpoint is if there’s nothing to void out, there’s very little for a void user to do.”

“I—“

“But,” Jorra continued, “It’s incredibly useful when you’re up against anything with magic, which we will be, in the Sanctum. And if we fight against anything without magic, you’re probably the best martial fighter out of the three of us. Frankly, I don’t know why anyone wouldn’t want you on their team.”

“Oh.” Bell was overwhelmed, unsure of how to respond.

Jorra eyed her. “But seriously, you want to stretch. Cairn is brutal on the training field.”

“I can take him,” Bell joked.

“You haven’t seen him when he’s backed into a corner.” Jorra scowled. “He cheats.

“Okay.” All throughout the exercise, Bell was waiting for the levy to break. But Jorra never snapped at her, made her feel anything less than welcome.

A few weeks later, she’d realized how much she was missing. Her circle of friends grew quickly, Cairn, then Jorra, then Maya. Bell found the older infernal so beautiful and stern looking it was almost intimidating. But they all cared for her. Listened to her when she had an observation, gave her advice when she struggled.

Friends. Real friends.

All throughout those early months, Bell held a piece of herself back. Knowing that there must be a reason Cairn picked her, of all people. But over time that piece became smaller and smaller.

It was almost gone completely.

Then, she met Infaris.

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