Jia Hyson's gaze moves to where Da Gong's were and felt the familiar feeling of meeting a recent ex-girl slash boyfriend while in an ambiguous position with his new lover. His eyes slide back over to Da Gong and had to amend his analogy.
It was more like the familiar feeling of meeting a not so ex-stalker while in an ambiguous position with his new lover.
However for once this was really a big ridiculous misunderstanding ah!
Bebe: '...This is karmic gold lol.'
However, Jia Hyson was not your typical stupid shou who would create misunderstanding after misunderstanding unknowingly. He was an author with strong emotional intelligence and an experienced slag man. One could tell this solely by the fact that he didn't die earlier by a lover's hands ah.
Bebe: '...' 눈_눈 This explanation started off so well and then it died a swift and scummy death.
Taking a deep breath, Jia Hyson scuttles up to Da Gong and, under the rooster's cold silver eyes, boops the bird's chest with his nose. His golden eyes go wide and watery as he coquettishly whines, "Brother Gong, Brother Gong, don't be angry. This really isn't what it looks like. You know I like you the most~"
He rubs his face affectionately into the soft black feathers, his breath tickling Da Gong and inadvertently thawing the ice in the bird's eyes. "Please Brother Gong, I don't want you to be angry, let me explain oh~"
Bebe: 'What disgusting display of shameless kissing up and thigh holding is this.'
Jia Hyson: 'Hey, don't knock it till you try it, my stalkers and more yandere partners loved this stuff.' ╮(╯∀╰)╭Straightforward and cute is a solid combination. If you try and hide it or act nervous people, especially in an emotional high strung state, will definitely overthink and overreact ah. It's like seeing delusional stalker serial killers kidnapping people because they believe they're the 'one'- if you panic, act hysterical and fight back mindlessly it's merely seeking death. The best thing is to go with the flow, play along and either figure out an escape route or gave yourself enough time for someone to save you.
Bebe: 'That's very specific.'
Jia Hyson: 'Eh, that shit always pops up on crime shows.'
Bebe: 'Oh.'
Jia Hyson: 'How else do you think I learnt this messy stuff from ah? It didn't help that most of those killers were very attractive, tsk, tsk. I suppose this is what we get for beautifying murder with hot people in the media.'
Bebe: (¬_¬) 'And there it is.'
No matter how Jia Hyson learnt it, it did seem to be quite effective. Da Gong's hackles had been lowered by half and his feathers were no longer puffing up to reflect his aggressiveness. "Explain then," he clucks shortly.
Jia Hyson opens his lying little mouth and says, with his words slick like oil and sweet as honey, "Think about it Brother Gong. How could I have kids with Little Fatty ah? I barely speak to him much less touch him!"
Da Gong paused before nodding. This was true. Out of all the animals, Little Fatty was not very interactive with the little worm. The little worm apart from himself, will hang out with Xiao Shua, Da Shen or the paddy snake Little Paddy. And even then it couldn't compare to the time the little worm clings onto him.
Thinking that Da Gong felt even better. But before his feathers could relax they stood up again.
No! That still doesn't explain the three babies that have his little worm's color and other traits on them!
Jia Hyson who was an old driver in handling crazy, could easily see the normally incomprehensible jump in logic from the rooster's body language. He poked his arm with one of his claws to try calm himself. His family's Da Gong was so stupid and cute ahhh!
He was seriously considering the logistics of getting fucked by a rooster now. It was either that or killing and eating the cutie alive ah~
Bebe: '...So the options are beastiality or vore.' How classy.
Jia Hyson: 'Technically it's interspecies sex or vore. You know, because I'm also a beast.' You fucking dumbass.
Bebe: '.....That you are.' A beast, that is.
Ignoring his own excitement, Jia Hyson communicates to the summoned mice helpers telepathically. Similar to his own situation with Tang Muxin, the mice can be mentally prompted to do things. The main difference between his bond with the mice and his bond with Tang Muxin's is that no matter what form, he can also communicate verbally with the mice as well.
Giving the mice some mental instructions Jia Hyson then calls them out verbally, "Babies, come here!"
He watches them roll and crawl quickly and obediently to him. They were only level two so they didn't have any complex thoughts and weren't able to think for themselves or actively solve problems. Right now they were more like simple high tech robots. If you told them to do something they won't question it but they also won't do much else.
Jia Hyson didn't mind. Right now he didn't need much IQ to accomplish his goal.
He points a claw at himself.
"What do you call me?" He asks.
"Mummy Cinderelly!"
If Da Gong was a human, one could tell his expression was very dark right now. However before he could throw a fit Jia Hyson then pointed a claw at the rooster and asked,
"And him?"
"Daddy!" All three chorused.
Da Gong: ⋋(☉⊝☉)⋌ !!!
Bebe: '...Are you fucking serious?' 눈_눈
Jia Hyson: 'Heh. Works every time.'
Bebe: 'You've done this more than once?! How?!'
For a second Da Gong looked swayed but he quickly shook himself out of it. He can't be fooled! Those were clearly mice! Mice!
Listening to Da Gong huffily point this out, Jia Hyson was not panicked. Even though Da Gong was very smart, it was only smart for a rooster. Real logic doesn't necessarily have to be applied to convince him.
Bebe silently recalls the two people who successfully albeit temporarily locked down his slag host's heart. Drake Lanzoni, who was so dumb he didn't even know Adrian's sister was Maddie, and Sefu Karamoy who's brains were full of pits and convoluted stupidity. The only other thing these two shared was strong doting capabilities and good sexual chemistry.
Bebe: 'So it turns out your type is the brain dead stupid and handsome ones ah.'
Jia Hyson: 'No, wait, that's a coincidence, I swear!' He doesn't have such inclinations! He's only interested in top tier domineering daddies!
Bebe: 'Heh.' A manipulative scum man and a foolish wolf pup type. It's a little fitting.
Ignoring his system, Jia Hyson focuses on his foolish little rooster. Patiently and calmly like he was imparting general knowledge to a child he chirps, "Brother Gong, you don't know but it's very hard for different animals to make babies with each other. When they do they look a bit funny right?"
"I know that." Da Gong nods. There's not much entertainment in the countryside so there were many children who try encourage cross species breeding with their chickens and ducks. It was very rare but occasionally their attempts were successful, producing chickens with webbed feet or vice versa, containing both traits of the birds to certain degrees*.
*This isn't really true ah. Chickens and ducks are capable of mating but there's no scientific proof that they can actually produce a hybrid. My mother's family had a small farm slash animal clinic and they produced a ducken so I believed duckens were real albeit rare occurrences for a looong time, however most duckens are usually just caused by a mutation rather than an actual product of chicken duck love. However this is ancient times so most people who see this occurrence will obviously believe it's a crossbreed. Especially a stupid domineering cutie rooster~
Da Gong had also been curious about this but since this sort of thing didn't happen often and the little cross breeds end up dying quickly, he was too lazy to pay attention to it.
Seeing he more or less understands Jia Hyson continues, "If the different animals are both birds the baby will also be a bird. But what about us? I have scales and brother gong has feathers. Therefore our babies must be something in the middle."
"That's why they have fur!" Da Gong clucks, putting two and two together. Using this strange logic, willingness to agree with his little worm and unwillingness to wear a green hat, his little rooster brain turned quickly and produced other explanations from this premise. "Between black and gold is also brown! No ears and sharp ears produce round ears! I see!"
Bebe: '...' The only thing Bebe sees is a blind person, ah, no, a blind rooster.
As for why the thought about the fact he and his little worm never copulated made things impossible in the first place…. truth be told, after some thought he had concluded he must have accidentally done it. Yes. That must be it.
After all, rooster mating is a bit different to normal animal sex. For starters, they don't have a penis. Instead they have a papilla in their cloaca which is really nothing like male genitalia other than the fact semen comes out of it.
Generally roosters mate by getting on top of the female, dipping their tails downward and letting their cloacas 'kiss' the hen's. This all takes only a matter of seconds. Roosters also had a very high sex drive and can mate up to 30 times a day.
However Da Gong, after the initial maturity where he had been overcome with an urge to mate, had never really felt the compulsion to act on it since. This was considered very abnormal in a rooster.
Da Gong also felt that way but, he didn't see a need to change it. Hens were too clucky anyway. Not as good as himself. The only hen he did mate with at the beginning also died from a fever. His eggs had not survived either, so he felt less inclined to try it again.
His human is the same way. Ever since he's been a chick his human did not like to be too intimate with other humans and was very wary of women to the extent he would try scare them off with a constant stream of babble from his mouth. Da Gong felt they really were well matched. Two abnormal animals.
But he had noticed Ye Cheng, unlike himself, could not completely ignore the sexual urges and would often touch himself or occasionally leak a little on the bed. Ye Cheng had told him it wasn't urine and it was a perfectly normal thing and while Da Gong didn't really believe him, he figured it was best to just believe it. Having a leaky human is a bit embarrassing after all.
But what if it was a normal thing?!
Da Gong had sat on his little worm many times, sometimes when it was cold at night he would let the worm sleep under him to keep warm- what if he accidentally did a night leak as well???
Therefore, to Da Gong who lived with humans more than his own kind, it felt like it was perfectly possible for him to accidentally knock his little worm up.
Thinking like this he not only felt half convinced but very guilty. After all while it wasn't necessary to roosters, Da Gong thought his little worm deserved some courtship or wooing before they mated. His little worm was so small and cute, it must have been hard for it to deal with this unexpected birth.
If Jia Hyson and Bebe had understood Da Gong's thoughts they would have stood up and applauded. Unexpectedly the rooster had such amazing logical deductions ah. It really.... it really was... very on par with the other people Jia Hyson had slept with actually.
Dumbass Drake Lanzoni and Stupid Self-abuser Sefu Karamoy: '...'
Jia Hyson who insists he isn't attracted to morons: '...'
Bebe who is only proven right with each passing world: 'Heh.' 凸(¬‿¬)
"Exactly!" Jia Hyson couldn't clap but he stamped his tiny feet happily, "Brother Gong you're so smart!"
"Daddy is so smart!" "Daddy!" "The best!" The three mice squealed.
Da Gong who had brainwashed himself to believe these might really be his and little worm's children puffed up. "Hmph, of course," he arrogantly clucks.
"Big boss is so great ah!" Little Fatty didn't really understand what was happening but everyone was cheering the big boss!
"Shut up!" Da Gong flapped his wings at the field mouse, making the little thing cough at the sudden dust hitting his whiskers. Even if he now acknowledged his children, he still didn't feel too good about this rat that coincidentally looks so similar to his offspring. Looking at brown fur on both Little Fatty and the baby mice summons, he felt that something must be done. "Go change your fur!"
Little Fatty was stunned. This was the first time he had been given such a fucking weird task!
Sucking up was so difficult ah! QwQ
...
"Fuck!" Ye Cheng suddenly swore.
Tang Muxin and Meng Meng rushed over at the shout while Yan Huizhong who couldn't move from his seat could only stare at them bitterly, his hands clenched tightly as his muscles strained toward Ye Cheng's direction. He was originally a very petty and insecure man. How can he not feel helpless and jealous seeing these two fools so healthy and strong in physique?
Forget helping Ye Cheng, he couldn't even see what was wrong.
Jia Hyson and his three summoned mice were sitting on top of Da Gong who was lazily trotting toward the cart where Ye Cheng was and saw the 'I am so weak, I hate it so much, I must get stronger in order to protect what is important to me,' appearance of the eighth prince. Jia Hyson clicks his tongue. 'A bit cliche ah. But it's not bad.'
Bebe thought a bit and also agreed. Generally male lead love interests already come out fairly OP despite having some sort of flaw like being (temporarily) blind or ill or physically weak. There's quite a few in historical romances where they just fake their weakness in order to be tigers pretending to be pigs because of the lack of power in their backgrounds.
However all of them will have the 'I am so weak, I hate it so much, I must get stronger in order to protect what is important to me,' monologue somewhere in the middle of their emotional development to the protagonist which will be the turning point to their fate and increase their OP levels to over 9000.
It was rare for such a potential male lead slash villain to not only be part of the possible side CP, but to also genuinely be helpless in this situation. Who knows what General Duan Mengyao had done or if it was even him who had personally caused the injuries, but the fact is, unless they find a mystical herb or medication, those legs really couldn't be cured naturally.
Even if Tang Muxin had really good luck now courtesy of the soul bind with Jia Hyson, the little golden dragon of fortune, it was mainly things to sell or things for beauty with some medicinal properties. Those like the 200 year old ginseng which were medicinal were mainly for internal injuries and required other equally rare if not more so treasures to produce a medication to help heal Yan Huizhong.
Maybe if it was 10,000 years old like in proper cultivation novels it would do something but that sort of ultra rare SSS item could not be simply stumbled upon with even boosted protagonist luck. That sort of treasure is probably only in heaven or hidden safely by an old family, maybe even the imperial family themselves. Needless to say, unless they unlock some secret side mission, there was no way Yan Huizhong, this unfavored crippled prince, would be gifted such a godly thing.
Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses in this little group. Tang Muxin has modern knowledge, a lucky dragon mascot and some combat abilities. But her historical knowledge and street smarts in this era are lacking. Duan Mengyao still retains common sense, and his great physical abilities and fighting strength but he has no memory. Ye Cheng is the mood maker with high EQ, a loyal network of friends and acquaintances, strong street smarts and intelligence. But his intelligence is limited by his status and lack of schooling and his combat is so-so below average.
Yan Huizhong however is the most flawed. His ability to fight is now nearly at zero with his currently unrecoverable legs. His scholarly intellect was quite useless other than to help count money. And while he has some general knowledge, he lived mainly in the palace his whole life and was the type of villain that disdained the common blood running through his veins, how could he actually pay attention to the ants beneath his feet? In short this man only had intelligence and nothing else.
Well. That's not true. He also had a nice face.
Eighth Prince: '...'
Tsk, it seems like the side CP's plot will be quite slow. Even Jia Hyson had trouble predicting how it would turn out in the future. For now it seemed his job in regards to them is to make sure Tang Muxin doesn't get anything too heaven defying so early on in the story that could affect Yan Huizhong's condition before he humbles himself a bit more.
"Do you want to check on the crippled human?" Da Gong clucks generously. Usually he would sulk at seeing how once again his little worm looked at another animal in a daze but this was before he had children ah! Now he has proof of their love there is no need to be too vinegary.
...Also in the animal kingdom, seriously injured animals with disabilities were deemed immensely unattractive as a mate so in Da Gong's eyes, out of everyone, he was least worried about the eighth prince.
Unattractive to the entire animal kingdom Yan Huizhong: '...' In the middle of my angsty monologue I suddenly feel like I've been hit out of nowhere by a stray arrow.
"No, let's just head to where Ye Cheng and the rest are," Jia Hyson refuses. It's best to let the prince have some angst filled solitude by himself.
"Mn." Da Gong bobs his head in agreement. "I will also get my human to serve us some food. The babies will be getting hungry."
He twists his neck to look at the three summoned mice who look back at him with wide eyes, blinking dumbly. They were very stupid looking, not a shred of intelligence like in their parents. Da Gong felt like something was a bit off still, but he quietly scolded himself the moment he thought of it.
Weren't they just born? It would be too harsh to expect them to be quick witted at such a young age. Besides, many cross breeds had a lot of problems.
Jia Hyson glances at his summoned mice before using his flexible noodle body to curl around them and give the three soft creatures a full body hug. 'You guys did good ah,' he praises with a tone full of affection and love.
[Ding, ding! Cinderella's Little Helpers (Active) has increased to Level 3!]
Jia Hyson watches the mice intensely but didn't see much consciousness in them. They were still just obedient summons with no free will or their own individual personalities slash intelligence.
'Tch.' It seems he'll have to try level them up quickly to make them more lively.
Bebe: '...' Can even scum children now. How awful.
However it does seem that Da Gong, despite his naive deluded mindset in regards to how cross breeding works, still had a shred of common sense and suspicion clinging on in his rooster brain. While the rooster definitely trusted Jia Hyson, it would be impossible for the smart bird not to feel a little doubt secretly. It was already very good for him to even believe such a ridiculous lie in the first place.
Jia Hyson sighs. A lie is only as good as it lasts. As long as Da Gong never finds out the lie, then he would never get hurt. Now that he bullshitted like he did, he has to be prepared to follow through. It's the same as murder really. If you have the conviction to kill a man, you must also have the resolve to bury the body and destroy the evidence. You can't just puss out and turn yourself in ah.
Bebe: '...None of that.. none of that was even remotely good morally.'
Bebe looked at the still innocent blank expressions on the three summoned mice and felt a large responsibility on it's shoulders. While the mice are preset to have certain personality traits once they reach level 5, they will also be influenced by their host as well. What jobs they are given, how they're treated, and what they thought would be a large factor in their resulting personality.
Aiyah, it couldn't, in good conscience, watch as its spicy chicken host corrupt three more babies while it could still do something about it.
With that thought Bebe quickly messaged some of his system friends that currently specialized in these sort of things like the Character Correction system YeYe or the Raise the Villain Right system MeiMei. They should be willing to give Bebe some tips in exchange for the cute animal videos it had saved up just for this sort of thing. Bebe can then use it to educate the baby summons at nighttime when it's scum host was sleeping.
As they reached the carriage where Ye Cheng and the others were they quickly realised why the man had swore so vehemently.
In the cluttered carriage filled with merchandise, there was splatters of red everywhere. Ye Cheng was staring fiercely down at the heart of the mess- a very red coloured Little Fatty. "Bad Little Fatty!" Ye Cheng scolds, "What were you thinking?! That cinnabar powder could fetch us a very high price!"
Jia Hyson's eyes widened. It seemed Little Fatty was quite creative ah. In order to follow the Big Boss' orders, the mouse had broken one of the oil bottles they had and wet his fur with it. He then found the box containing natural cinnabar powder that they had bought from an old miner a while back, and rolled around in the red dust.
Cinnabar powder mixed with oil can produce a very long lasting effect. It seems Little Fatty would be known as Little Red for a long time ah.
'Hey, will Little Fatty be alright?' He consults Bebe silently. Cinnabar is actually very toxic in certain conditions such as heating and inhaling the gas produced, as the red pigments come from it's mercury content. However generally it is classified as non toxic by itself and can be safely used in certain amounts in fine traditional chinese medication, paints and jewellery. Still, because of the fine line it has between toxic and non-toxic, the individuals with more vulnerable immune systems like children and pregnant women should avoid it. As a little rat, there may be problems being exposed to so much powder.
'Don't worry, Little Fatty has consumed a lot of the protagonist's cooking and the spiritual energy absorbed is enough to improve the rat's constitution five-fold. The cinnabar won't affect Little Fatty much. At worst maybe a fever or something.' Bebe replies after a pause.
Only Little Fatty and the other small animals can absorb the spiritual energy and produce a great physical change in a short time. Their bodily demands were lower and so they were more affected by the small amount of spiritual energy produced by Tang Muxin's cooking. Of course unless they had some sort of hidden bloodline, they would soon hit their upper limit and will no longer be able to improve their strength, lifespan and health unless they somehow learnt how to cultivate. It's the opposite of Jia Hyson's situation where he requires a great deal of energy to grown and improve but his potential is essentially limitless.
Hearing Bebe's reassurances, Jia Hyson settles down and proceeds to eat melon. Afterwards he and Da Gong went to comfort the wronged looking Little Fatty. After all, it was very much their fault he had gotten into trouble.
Da Gong was also moved by Little Fatty's desperate attempts to curry favour and solemnly appointed him to be the babysitter of his and his little worm's children.
Little Fatty who somehow loosely grasped the situation had a face full of question marks. He felt like his little ears were clogged with red powder. "Wait, Boss, whose kids did you say-?"
"Mine and little worm's." Da Gong clucks proudly, "Don't you see how we look alike?"
Little Fatty: '…' You don't look alike at all! As a mouse how can it not see these were also mice! They were fellow mice! Even if they were a bit special as they were servants of a dragon they were still fucking mice! (┛ಠДಠ)┛彡┻━┻
However Little Fatty could only swallow his retorts down under the sharp gaze of the small golden dragon boss sitting on top of the big rooster boss. The beautifully shining tail twisted and gently wrapped around Da Gong's neck possessively, showing off how much the bird trusted the other. It was really like the appearance of an evil empress twisting the emperor around her finger.
Little Fatty swallowed his saliva. "Yes ah, they're really a mix of Big Boss and Small Boss's best traits." He replies dryly.
Da Gong nods. Little Fatty and Little Paddy were his most observant subordinates. Even though he preferred Little Paddy more he still didn't underestimate Little Fatty's strengths. If the quick witted mouse couldn't sense anything off then he can rest a bit easier ah.
Taking this opportunity to leave, Little Fatty scampered off to inform the other animals about these new big changes to the dynamics of their little hierarchy. After all, if anyone else let slip that those three baby mice weren't Da Gong's…. then wouldn't he, who said they were, also bear the brunt of the blame later?!
Sucking up was so fucking difficult ah! QWQ
~~~
So guys, today me and the discord channel just did our first proper official Q&A event! Got it's own channel and everything! Yay~! (thanks @immortal tree)
Discord member could come at a certain time and ask this author, Jia Hyson or even Bebe and others any questions about themselves or the story. So for the extras I'll be putting a few of the fun Q&A here ah~ If you want to check out all of it head to the discord (https://discord.gg/9SbFE9JtrZ)!
~
@memeos: Hmmm my only question for Jia would be what kind of pets would he be happy to own besides his beetles and the more common pets(cats and dogs)?
Jia Hyson: 'Eh I wouldn't get a dog anyway, as a homebody I'm not that into overly energetic animals to keep. I guess probably I would like a lizard or a snake to keep. I quite like the idea of raising them a lot plus other than the setup their fairly low maintenance.'
Bebe: plus they're just like you ah. Cold blooded and carnivorous.
Jia Hyson: ...yes. That too.
~
@ally: Does Jia Hyson have any officially diagnosed mental problems?
Jia Hyson: Do I have mental illnesses? Yes. Officially diagnosed? No.
Jia Hyson: I killed people ah, I didn't want the police to find any red flags ╮(╯∀╰)╭
~
@the immortal tree: Where does JH's name come from?
Author: Hahahahaha that's a good question tree. Jia (family name) originated from the third king of the Zhou dynasty. I think it means kin or something. Hyson (his first name) means flourishing spring but.... there's also a green tea by that name too. Soooo it could also be interpreted that he's a green tea bitch hahahaha
(This author doesn't know chinese names too well, if this author is wrong then… deal with it, there's over a hundred chapters and I'm used to Jia Hyson's name now lol)
~
@the immortal tree: Is Jia into furries?
Jia Hyson: furries? Not really ah. Like cat ears and tail plugs are hot. And collars. But full on mascot costumes and stuff? Ugh no, huge turn off
@the immortal tree: I felt that was the case. Doing the do in a big fursuit sounds hot and gross
~
@Aiden: Oh!!! So we talked about how jia's preferences stay, does he have any allergies or anything like that, that also stay with him?
Author: Other than car motion sickness (well more like heavy nausea, since he only wants to puke but doesn't) nah. He's got no food allergies and such.
~
@the immortal tree: How do bebe and Jia feel about this discord?
Jia Hyson: it's quite nice in its small size. I mean I also had many fan sites dedicated to me but you know, this is very nice too. Very quaint.
@the immortal tree: …I feel like Jia just insulted us but I'm not sure.
@Ally: Backhanded. Very.
Bebe: Even my followers on SystemBook alone are higher than yours lol but yeah this is cute too.
@the immortal tree: ...wuwuwuwu
~
@ally: Do you think jia would make it up the ranks as a system?
Bebe: Host would probably sleep his way up the ranks ah
Jia Hyson: ...
~
@the immortal tree: What world would Jia like to go to next?
Jia Hyson: One where I'm rich and hot again.
Bebe: ....
@the immortal tree: What world would bebe like to go next?
Bebe: One where Bebe's host is poor and ugly.
Jia Hyson: ...
~
@Eevee: which body did JH like the most?
Jia Hyson: Farrell's. Hands down the best one. I was rich and sexy and I didn't have any pressure to work hard.
Jia Hyson: fuck I miss being rich
~
@goldfish: What books do Jia and Bebe like the most? And what genre?
Jia Hyson: Transmigration, Quick Transmigration, Unlimited Flow, System stories. I prefer a good amount of faceslapping, decent humor and minimal stupidity.
Bebe: Bebe likes anything funny and with faceslapping. Currently Bebe likes rebirth stories. Bebe doesn't really like system stuff though since humans seem to make systems seem boring or stupid.
Other system stories: ...
Author: ...please don't ban me ah
~~~
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