——
“Well… Is there something wrong?”
——
As Tadano awkwardly inquired, the doctor looked directly at him and calmly spoke in a composed voice.
——
“It’s a brain tumor.”
“…A brain tumor?”
“Yes.”
——
In truth, Tadano didn’t know much about what a brain tumor was. However, with the doctor’s reaction and the mention of a “tumor,” he felt that it was probably not something ordinary. Still trying to grasp the situation, the doctor showed Tadano the MRI images and explained:
——
“First of all, these white masses you see here are tumors. The condition has already progressed quite a bit. It’s a very rare case, but there are quite a few tumors. Unfortunately, some of them are in difficult and risky areas, making surgery challenging.”
“….”
“Until now, did you not experience any discomfort in your daily life? Besides the usual headaches you mentioned, did you have any other symptoms like blurry vision or frequent vomiting?”
“Yes… nothing like that. Just recently, I’ve had trouble with my memory.”
——
Seeing Tadano nodding hesitantly, the doctor sighed deeply. Then, looking puzzled, he continued to examine the MRI images.
With a furrowed brow, the doctor seemed lost in thought. Tadano asked, seeking understanding.
——
“Well… Doctor, does that mean my recent memory loss could be because of this?”
“I can’t give a definite answer. The brain is still a largely mysterious organ, much like the universe.”
“Can it get better?”
“Hmm… In cases that have progressed to this extent, surgery is usually needed to remove the tumors. However, as I mentioned, the tumors have grown in a complex and risky area, making surgery challenging.”
——
The doctor continued to point at the MRI images, explaining various aspects to Tadano. He talked about how surgery should have been done before it reached this stage and how the current surgery would be too difficult due to the complexity of the situation.
——
“So… Doctor, does that mean I eventually have to undergo surgery?”
“To be honest, I’m not sure if it’s right for me to recommend surgery to the patient. Brain surgery is already challenging, and doing such a complex procedure, one small mistake could lead to… um.”
“….”
“To be blunt… if the surgery goes wrong, irreversible consequences could occur.”
——
Tadano was still perplexed, but he understood what the doctor meant by ‘irreversible consequences.’ To put it plainly, it meant he could die.
——
“So… What happens if I don’t have the surgery?”
“It’s like leaving a time bomb with an unpredictable detonation time. It’s grown like this, and even though it hasn’t metastasized to other organs, it seems like a benign tumor… Still, it will grow someday, and eventually, it will strain the brain.”
“….”
“And… it could become a serious problem at any moment.”
——
Surgery could be problematic, and not having surgery could also be problematic. It was a desperate situation. Despite that, Tadano remained calm. His heart didn’t beat rapidly in shock.
Perhaps it was because the news was too sudden.
Surprisingly, he wasn’t too bothered by it.
——
“Come to think of it… that woman was the same way.”
——
The woman whose name he couldn’t remember.
She was also remarkably calm about her impending death. Back then, he didn’t understand, but now that he found himself in a similar situation, he finally understood.
He understood the words she had spoken.
“Everyone dies. So, what’s important is what you do while you’re alive. That’s why she decided to live joyfully-”
Staring into space, recalling the woman, Tadano glanced at the doctor. Despite the doctor maintaining a composed expression, his eyes seemed to regard him as if he were already dead.
It didn’t matter.
More than that, what concerned Tadano now was –
——
“I wonder if I can meet that woman again.”
——
Perhaps because of the thought of imminent death.
——
Tadano became honest with himself. Until now, he thought he was frustrated because he couldn’t recall her name and face, but in reality, it was just that he wanted to think about her.
——
‘I’m not some unfortunate protagonist in a novel.’
——
Feeling oddly sentimental, Tadano let out a bitter laugh. It wasn’t a situation to laugh about, but the laughing Tadano startled the doctor. Smirking at the doctor, Tadano casually bid farewell.
——
“I understand, Doctor. Thank you for your kind words. I’ll be going then.”
“Huh? Oh, no. Are you just leaving like that?”
“Yes. If it’s equally despairing with or without surgery, there’s no time to be depressed here.”
“Well, still…”
——
When the doctor hesitated, Tadano spoke firmly, and he smiled subtly at the doctor’s perplexity.
——
“Instead of worrying about the surgery going wrong, I’d rather make good use of the time I have left.”
“….”
“Then, goodbye.”
——
Leaving the examination room, Tadano headed straight home. It wasn’t that he had nowhere else to go; it was more about not wasting even a second of time.
——
‘That shop where I first met that woman. I can’t remember what it was, but I vaguely recall where it was. It was an old shop in the alley near Sapporo Station. Let’s go there.’
——
Even if he couldn’t meet the woman at that shop again, there was another way. If he went to the bar where the woman with a relatively clear memory worked, he might find some clues.
Thunk!
As soon as Tadano arrived home, he took out a large bag. Then, he carefully packed his favorite clothes from the wardrobe into the bag.
He still couldn’t remember the woman’s name, but Tadano didn’t feel frustrated. On the contrary, he felt excited about the idea of meeting her.
——
‘That girl… I wonder if I can see her again.’
——
Perhaps because of the thought of imminent death.
——
“Hello. Where would you like to go?”
——
It was a question similar to what the taxi driver had asked earlier.
And earlier, there was no difficulty in answering. I said I was going to Tokyo Station.
But.
——
‘Where should I go?’
——
I couldn’t remember. The shop where I met that woman, and the station where the bar she worked at was.
Just a few minutes ago, I was sure I knew.
——
“…”
——
My chest felt stifled. The frustration when I couldn’t remember that woman’s name and other trivial things was the same frustration I felt now.
——
“Customer?”
——
When Tadano remained silent for a while, the station attendant asked.
——
“Ah… yes.”
“Where would you like to purchase a train ticket to?”
——
The station attendant asked again, but this time, Tadano couldn’t answer. The station attendant’s question was like the one Tadano was asking himself.
——
“So… the place I need to go is…”
“?”
“It’s not rural… It’s not a city either… It’s a bit cold there… There’s a narrow alley behind the station, and if you go inside, there are a lot of street stalls…”
——
Tadano mumbled like a person lost in thought. At Tadano’s words, the station attendant sighed and said irritably.
——
“Sir. Please let me know if you remember there are other customers waiting.”
“Wait a moment. I just need a little time…”
“Next customer, please.”
——
Ignoring Tadano’s words, the station attendant called the next person. The person behind Tadano gently pushed him aside. It might have felt unpleasant, but Tadano didn’t care at all.
Right now, Tadano’s entire focus was on recalling the name of ‘that train station’ he had forgotten.
——
“Where are you headed?”
“To Sapporo Station. The fastest one.”
“The fastest train to Sapporo… The last one for today. Here’s your ticket.”
——
The sound of the conversation between the man who pushed him and the station attendant could be heard. It was Sapporo Station, the station where the ramen shop and bar were Yomi was located. However, even though Tadano heard the words ‘Sapporo Station,’ he did not realize that ‘that train station’ was Sapporo Station.
So, for a while, or rather, for quite some time, he stood there blankly.
——
“Hmm? Tadano-kun?”
——
Someone called Tadano from behind. Tadano turned to look at the person who called him, moving slowly like a rusty robot.
Then, he recognized the person who called him and spoke with a trembling voice.
——
“Ah, Headmaster.”
“Indeed, it’s you! Do you know how worried I was when you ran out like that?”
“If it was when I ran out…?”
——
Fortunately or unfortunately, Tadano remembered the meeting with the headmaster. At that time, too, he felt frustrated, unable to remember things as he did now, and suddenly ran away from the unexpected situation.
While Tadano was talking with himself, the headmaster approached him and asked with a concerned voice.
——
“Why are you like this? What’s the matter?”
“Well, that is…”
——
Tadano hesitated, obscuring the follow-up.
——
‘If I ask the headmaster where the station we traveled to together is, I might find out it’s Sapporo…’
——
If he asked, the headmaster would worry about him seriously, just like in the office last time. And then, the headmaster might forcefully take him to the hospital or take him to the ‘Doctor who could help him,’ as he mentioned in the office.
Such unnecessary memories were vivid.
——
‘For now… let’s act as if nothing happened. And naturally ask about the place we went to with the headmaster at that time.’
——
After a moment of contemplation, Tadano smiled casually and said,
——
“Ah, it’s nothing special. I was just thinking of going back to the place I went with you back then, but I forgot my wallet.”
“Sapporo, right? Why do you want to go there again?”
‘Sapporo. Right, it was Sapporo.’
“Just feeling a bit nostalgic.”
“Hmm…”
——
Though he spoke naturally, the headmaster’s eyes couldn’t avoid sensing something was off.
——
The headmaster looked at Tadano with a gaze containing a hint of suspicion. More precisely, it was a gaze filled with concern and worry.
——
“Is there really nothing wrong? You mentioned back in my office that you were shaking, saying you couldn’t remember well.”
“I’m really fine.”
“Is that so… Still, if anything feels off, tell me right away. I’ll use all my connections to help you.”
“Haha… Thank you. Well then, I’ll go buy the ticket.”
——
Tadano spoke politely and turned away.
At that moment.
——
“Tadano-kun.”
——
The headmaster called him again. In response, Tadano let out a small sigh internally.
He wondered if the headmaster had noticed that something was wrong with him.
However.
——
“You said you forgot your wallet. Do you have money?”
——
Fortunately, it seemed that the headmaster’s worries were unfounded.
——
“Ah, yes. I have some change, so it should be enough for the fare.”
“Change? Are you just going there and coming back without doing anything? You packed your bag so full.”
“…”
“I’ll lend you some.”
——
The headmaster took out his wallet and handed a few bills to Tadano. It was less than the amount he borrowed last time, but it was still a considerable sum.
——
“Pay me back, and next time you come, tell me the proper story of your trip. You didn’t say a word about your first trip.”
“…Yes. I understand.”
“And this. Just in case, take this too.”
——
The headmaster pulled out something else from his wallet and gave it to Tadano. It was a business card with the headmaster’s contact information and office address.
——
“I’m giving you this just in case. If… you don’t know where to go, come to this address.”
“…”
——
As soon as he heard this, Tadano realized.
The headmaster was somewhat aware of his condition.
Tadano slightly lowered his head, receiving the business card with a stern expression.
——
“…Thank you.”
“To be honest, I’d rather you not go on a trip alone. But… looking at your expression, it seems like you have a reason to go.”
——
As soon as he heard these words, Tadano understood. The headmaster was aware to some extent of his situation. Tadano nodded slightly, receiving the business card with a firm expression.
——
“….”
“I hope it turns out to be an enjoyable journey. By the way, how long are you planning for the trip?”
“I haven’t decided yet. I’m thinking about a week, at most.”
“A week, huh… Got it. If you don’t return within 8 days, I’ll come looking for you. Sapporo Station.”
“….”
“I’m just kidding. It’s just a way of wishing you a safe journey. Well then, I have an appointment, so I’ll be going. Have a great trip.”
——
Tap.
The headmaster lightly patted Tadano’s shoulder and turned away, leaving Tadano nodding slightly in farewell. Then he approached the station attendant and spoke.
——
“The train to Sapporo, please.”
“Yes… Sapporo. Standing room only, is that okay with you?”
——
Again, the station attendant’s voice was businesslike and filled with annoyance. However, to Tadano, it sounded somewhat more courteous this time.
Tadano nodded and said,
——
“It’s fine. Anything works if it’s a train to Sapporo.”
——
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