While the nurse was fighting to save Su Xiaoyu’s life, Bai Yuqiao had lost her usual reflexes and stood dumb on one side. Eventually, her eyes had grown blurry from all her tears.
A long time later, the nurse once against saved Su Xiaoyu from the brink of death. Actually, the girl had been in peril this time. Fortunately, she didn’t struggle like the last few times, but complied with their treatment. Otherwise, she would have died for certain. Once the nurse was sure that Su Xiaoyu was safe, she looked towards Bai Yuqiao and found with astonishment that the girl was drowning in tears.
“Miss Bai, you...what’s happened?” she asked with concern.
Like a madwoman, Bai Yuqiao clutched the nurse by the collar and demanded, “Is she alright now? Let me tell you, if anything happens to her, don’t you think of living either!”
The nurse felt both wronged and afraid. “Miss Bai, I... I...”
“How is she doing? Speak!” Bai Yuqiao raged.
“S-she’s not, she’s not in danger of losing her life anymore. But her illness is still...very serious. Her body is also...very weak. She needs to be treated slowly and gradually...gradually regain her strength,” the nurse’s voice was shaking. After being with Bai Yuqiao for so long, this was the first time she’d witnessed the girl lose control.
“Then what are you still spacing out for? Hurry with the treatment!” Bai Yuqiao shoved the nurse aside and looked left and right anxiously. No matter what, she refused to look at Su Xiaoyu. After a fine, she managed to say, “Th-this...this girl is very important. You have to cure her and take care of her. If you need any medicine, just tell me.”
After that, Bai Yuqiao ran out the door until she saw a group of soldiers walk by. She quickly stopped and turned around so her back was facing them. Only then did she calm down and start wiping the tears from her face. Very carefully, she silently retraced her steps back into the prison. She didn’t disturb the nurse, but stood in the shadows watching as the woman applied needles to Su Xiaoyu’s back. She desperately wanted to walk over and take another look at the tattoo on the girl’s back, but she didn’t dare.
Once upon a time, master had brought her back from the City of Daughters. She had no idea who her parents were, but she did have a little sister. Besides these details, master hadn’t told her a thing. However, she’d started investigating in secret a long time ago. She’d searched through all of Hundred Poisons Sect and Grand Central County until she found the old mama who had raised her in her youth. Unfortunately, the mama didn’t know much, either. She had told Bai Yuqiao that there was a jade ruyi scepter tattoo[1] on her back, although it was incomplete. The mama guessed that if she really did have a little sister, then the other half of the ruyi tattoo would be on her sibling’s back.
In the past, Bai Yanqing had asked the mama to name her. Since Bai Yuqiao had a jade ruyi tattoo on her back, she decided to name her “Yu,” or jade. Because the mama’s own surname was Qiao, the name “Bai Yuqiao” was born. Just then, she’d spotted a jade ruyi tattoo on Su Xiaoyu’s back. It too, showed only one half. Combined with the one on her own skin, the two halves formed a whole.
Tattoos done in youth would grow in size with age as the body shifted and changed shape. Her own ruyi tattoo had long changed form, but she could still discern its shape clearly. Su Xiaoyu’s tattoo had changed as well, but it didn’t differ much from her own. This could only prove that she’d gotten tattooed in her youth, too.
“Su Xiaoyu...Su Xiaoyu...” Bai Yuqiao muttered ot herself. There was a “Yu” in Su Xiaoyu’s name too. Who had given her that name? Was it also because of the tattoo on her back? Amongst the soldiers and Hundred Poisons Sect, the elders who knew her well all called her Yu’er. Meanwhile, Han Yunxi and company called Su Xiaoyu “Little Yu’er.”
So she was Big Yu’er, and Su Xiaoyu was Little Yu’er?
At the thought, more tears burst from Bai Yuqiao’s eyes! She had searched endlessly for her little sister behind her master’s back--her only family in this entire world. But her sister had been with her this entire time! Yet she’d tormented her for so long! Now she was sick and injured and had nearly lost her life.
Why did it turn out like this?
She had been an exquisitely clever child since her youth. Long ago, she already realized that master didn’t really love her while senior brother treated her insincerely. Living a lonely life, she had never felt what it was like to have family. Now she did, but why did it hurt so much? Why was she so miserable and afraid? She was no longer alone, but had someone to hold and embrace. Wasn’t she supposed to be happy?
Why couldn’t she stop crying? Why did she want to sob her heart out?
Bai Yuqiao broke into soundless weeping as she stood in the darkness wiping away her tears again and again.
Translator’s Note: Well, would you look at that? Your local translator debuted in this chapter as a....tattoo? Pwahahaha~
1. jade ruyi scepter tattoo (玉如意纹身) - ruyi in Chinese means “as you wish, as you desire” and is also this translator’s pen name ahem. That aside, the tattoo they’re referring to most likely is just the top (handle) part of a typical ruyi scepter, which can be divided neatly in half. Here is a good picture for reference. On that note, the title of this chapter is a pun: 玉如意不如意 literally means “jade ruyi is no ruyi,” but translated and we get “The jade ruyi is not as one wishes.”
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